Calum's P.O.V
My eyes were burning as soon as I opened them. I didn't how much sleep I got last night but I knew it was next to nothing. Genie had cried the whole night and I knew that she got absolutely no sleep.
A sigh escapes my lips as I see the other side of the bed empty. I hadn't even heard her get up and it made me feel bad because I didn't want her to be alone.
I push the blankets back and force myself to get up. I was running on empty but I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep even if I tried.
I pull on a random pair of sweatpants and t-shirt before going in to the bathroom. My chest tightens at the memory of this morning and I feel like I'm going to be sick.
I didn't understand any of this.
How could your entire world just be ripped from you in an instant? I didn't know how I was suppose to feel or what I was suppose to do.
How did you grieve for someone that you never got the chance to meet?
I just didn't know what we could of ever possibly done to deserve this.
Nobody deserved to go through this.
I'll admit that a part of me didn't want to go find Genie but that was only because I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't know how to help her and it just killed me because I knew that whatever I was going through, she was going through something a hundred times worse.
I take a deep breath before making my way downstairs, I couldn't just avoid what was going on. I needed her just as much as she needed me at the moment and I was going to be there even if it killed me.
It doesn't take me long to find her. She was sitting in the living room with Walker on her lap, the tv was on but it was evident that she wasn't paying attention.
"Morning." I mumble clearing my throat as I get her attention.
"Morning." Genie replies giving me a grim smile. Her eyes were incredibly puffy from all the crying she had done which hurt to see but the thing that just broke me again was how much she didn't look like the girl I had fallen for, she was just a ghost of her former self.
The silence between us was practically suffocating. We both wanted to say something. Anything,but we had no idea what to say so neither of us said anything.
We just let everything sit on the tip of tongues as we both struggled to deal with what had happened.
"I'm going to make a drink." Genie says breaking the silence which seemed to last forever. "Do you want anything?" She asks as she moves Walker from her lap and stands.
"Uh no." I shake my head and she nods before going in to the kitchen.
I stand there stupidly not knowing what do with myself. I knew that we needed to at least try talk about things but I didn't think either of us were ready for that.
This whole thing just didn't seem real.
My heart didn't want to believe that this morning had happened, it wanted to believe that our baby was still growing happily in Genie's stomach.
I wished that was still true. But it wasn't and I didn't know how to convince myself.
I was in pure denial and I was sure Genie was too.
I drag myself in to the kitchen to find Genie standing with her back to me. Her hands were resting against the bench and I knew she was trying not to break down again but it was easier said then done.
"Genie." I say softly wanting her to know that I was there if she didn't all ready.
"I'm okay." Genie mutters. We both knew that that couldn't be further from the truth.
Neither of us were okay.
I walk over to her and force her to turn an look at me. Her eyes were filled with tears once again and in that moment I wish I could just take all of her pain away.
I would deal with the pain for both of us if I could.
"Cal.." Genie whimpers before I pull her in to my arms tightly.
"I know, I know." I whisper as she begins to cry in to my chest. Though I really didn't know.
~•~
"Cal! Come on, we're gonna miss it." Genie whines reaching for my hand before pulling me. Where in the world were we going? And what were we going to miss?
We enter a medium sized studio which had a stage directly in the center. There were chairs placed around the stage which were occupied by people i had never even seen before.Where in the world were we?
"Aww look at her! Oh my god!!" Genie gushes looking to the stage. A frown finds it's way to my face as I look to the stage that was empty only seconds ago now filled with ten to twelve girls all wearing pink tutu's.
"Ballet recital..." I mumble in confusion before everything changes.
The next thing I know I'm standing in an ice cream parlour surrounded by friends and family. My eyes search for Genie who's talking to Luke and Katie.
What the hell was going on?
"Look! There he is." I hear my mum's voice before she appears in front of me. "How do you think she did?"
"Who?" I ask, a deep frown finding it's way to my face.
"Me!" I hear an angelic voice. It's only then that I notice the little girl clutching my mothers hand, she must of been about five or six and she was dressed in the same tutu that all the other girls were in.
"Dad can be silly sometimes huh?" My mum chirps and my eyes widen.
"Dad?" I mutter before looking back down at the little girl. Her jet black hair that complemented her tan skin was flowing freely down her back. She looked like my twin expect for her eyes. She had that deep ocean blue colour that I had fallen in love with along time ago and that's when it hits me.
She's our daughter.
"You did wonderful baby girl." I smile at her as i crouch down to Her level. It Feels like the wind gets knock out of me as I see her up close. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life, she was just the perfect mixture of Genie and I.
"Gracie! Come on sweetie it's time to go." Genie calls and I watch as our daughter almost instantly runs to Genie.
Gracie? We called her Gracie.
"Are you coming dad?!" Gracie beams both her and Genie staring at me intently.
"Of course." I say as I go to take a step forward but I don't move. I'm stuck.
"Calum!" Genie calls getting my attention. I squint my eyes as I watch my world begin to slip away.
"Wait!" I tell them panic lacing my voice. The two of them were slipping away. My girls were getting further and further away and I couldn't get to them.
"Dad!" I hear in the distance as a Loud bang booms making me jolt awake.
My heart was racing and there were tears rolling down my cheeks. What the hell?
I sit up in bed and look around finding myself alone in our bedroom. I swallow the lump in my throat as I hear the bang again, the bang that had woken me up.
My eyes dart to the alarm clock on the bedside table which is shinning 3:00 in red.
Where was Genie? I wonder as I push back the blankets in a rush.
I find no trace of her upstairs and that makes me worry. She had to be downstairs right?
As I reach the living room I hear the same bang again but this time It's clear that it's coming from the kitchen.
"Genie what are you doing?" I question as I stand in the kitchen doorway. She was scrubbing violently at the oven, a deep frown on her face.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Genie chuckles before looking at me. "I thought it was time for a spring clean."
"At three in the morning?" I raise my eyebrows at her.
"Why not." Genie shrugs and I can't help but frown at her. The rest of the day had dragged on slowly and we hadn't talked much at all but we had both gone to bed together so I was definitely surprised to wake up minutes ago and find her not there.
"Okay." I sigh walking over to her. "Stop." I say but she doesn't. "Genie."
"Calum I'm busy." Genie mutters which honestly pisses me off. I reach for her hands before pulling her up.
"Just stop." I tell her softly. "I know you're hurting and so am I but this isn't going to help."
"What is going to help?" Genie asks and I really don't know what to say. I didn't even want to have this conversation with her but we obviously both needed it.
"I don't know." I shake my head and she lets out a sigh. "Don't push me away Genie, please."
"I'm trying...I just not how to deal with this." Genie whimpers. "It's all just gone."
"I know." I tell her as she rips off her cleaning gloves. "Talk to me." I plead and she looks up at me.
"I just want it to stop hurting Cal, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want to go back to how it was."
"I wish I could take all your pain away Genie and I'm sorry that I don't know how to." I tell her and she gives me a weak smile.
"I really love you for that."
"You know we can try again in a couple of months." I say basically repeating what the doctor had told us.
"But I wanted this baby." Genie mutters before beginning to tear up. I can't help but picture our daughter from my dream...or nightmare, i hadn't decided what it was yet, and I can't help but think I wanted this baby too.
I didn't know why but I always pictured us having girl. I think that maybe it we because of Alyx, I just wanted a little girl that I could spoil and protect like Ashton does.
"I know and I'm so sorry." I immediately bring her in to my arms wishing more than anything that I could just fix us.
"I'm sorry too." Genie mumbles in to my chest.
It was right then and there when all I wanted to do was to see her smile again and to hear that beautiful laugh.
I decided then that I was going to find away to put back what that morning had taken away from her.
I had to but most of all I needed to find a way to make her whole again.
A/N: Next chapter will be in Genie's P.O.V! Also I know some of you are super upset about them loosing the baby but it's just apart of their story. I had decided that was going to happen before I even posted the first chapter of this.
I know it might not make sense to you but trust me it will in the end :)
Next chapter/s should be out tomorrow! I'm hoping to do a double update!