CHAPTER XII
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FRIDAY
AFTER THE PARTY
I GOT HOME AND LAID IN MY BED, I hadn't even gotten changed from the party.
It was late and I still wore the same clothes he kissed me in.
The feeling was comforting, but simultaneously agonising.
I didn't want it to be like this, I didn't want the start of our story be so full of lust.
He's not a bad person...he doesn't have any bad intentions...right?
Maybe it was the alcohol talking, I mean he only acts like that at parties right?
What did he mean about Gojo being right? Gojo doesn't like me...I'm sure of it, I swear I am.
What do I tell my friends? Do I even tell my friends?
How will we be at school? Will he ignore me? Will he talk to me?
God all of this is driving me mad! I don't want it to be like this right now...
Hiccups bubbled at the back of my throat, making my eyes swell up with tears.
I don't want to be used.
I don't want to think he just wanted me for sex earlier, but the look of slight disappointment on his face is still stuck in my head.
His face is stuck in my head in general.
How the soft light illuminated his hair and his body while he towered over my body as he kissed me.
He was good at kissing, however it wasn't passionate.
The way he called me baby so seductively.
The way he called me one his girls.
How he said he wanted me to become his personal one.
He was good at everything he did, but it all meant nothing towards him.
But to me, it meant everything.
It meant everything to me that he had me so close to him.
It meant everything to me that he kissed me like that.
It meant everything to me that he spoke to me like that.
It meant everything to me that he chose me.
I eventually got up and showered to feel better about myself.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I was beautiful.
I was beautiful even though I had been crying.
I was beautiful even though I was hurting.
I was beautiful even if I never noticed it before.
I am beautiful.
Maybe he didn't say it directly, but did his words mean that I was beautiful to him?
That's all I want really. I just want him to speak to me softly and tell me how he feels about me.
However I don't mind living a lie for now.
I don't mind living a lie until it becomes the truth.
I'LL LIVE A LIE FOR YOU GETO.
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@SCYKHS