A melancholic smile was soon caressed by my lips.
A bird, with a velvet chest prodding over the blank maroons of his chest, peeked shyly on the corner, distracting me from the insensitivity of my thoughts and lifting the line in my lips as well as my looks. The gentlemen, still entranced with the new acquisition, laughed and persuaded Gaston into sitting in our wooden rectangle. I smiled just at the mental picture of Gaston, his soul influenced his ego, as he proclaimed himself as the king of hearts in this new school.
I laughed at his naivety, as no concrete walls actually existed in this micro society . Everyone knew everyone's secrets and all together were locked away, hid in plain sight and suppressed from the treacherous depths of each of our lonely hearts... Well, most of them.
And the guilty nudging needle soon pierced my stomach.
The conversation began with classic information about new clases, the grade they granted new teachers and the teasing of such. I dared to comment that the teachers, particularly my biology teacher, had impressed my heart: her kindness was visible through her words and excelled by her glistens in her eyes. The topic soon rose on how I handed out free hugs, still unsure about the importance it was given and the smiles it produced, i smiled and chuckled. Iam a nervous laugher.
I always knew the power of a hug or a smile, it's quite cute to see all of them learn now about a fact that had been part of my personality for so long. James demanded his hug too, so I stood with an audacious simper and satisfied his demand.
With the exception of my thoughts, all the girls began to chat about the new 'fine' acquisition. Just by that word, my stomach churning turned to hyperspeed and my mind spun across the kiosk. I smiled politley and pressed my lips together, hoping to hide the nauseating effect their words produced on me.
"What are your impressions?" Jane, as her curiousness defined her, was the first mouth to be opened, although I loved her character, I dreaded the non-existent patience of it.
"I like him," Mary replied. "He seems kind...and fun" A friend would be an insufficient adjective for such a girl, she's Mary! Like I, her kindness radiates through her scorched crimson lips."Weren't there two?" She asked again. "I thought they were...At least they told us that...maybe I am wrong"
The comment petrified me from the insides; the coiling of my muscles now ached for immobility. I looked desperately away, hoping no one would see the stiffness in my lungs and the unnatural aspect I must have now.
"I think...." Jane mumbled, her eyes darting across the table into a figure, tall and lenient, that crouched and designated its back to our vision: the figure had a pale skin, and its neck, cringed downwards. His hair, dark like chocolate, was the only thing that could be seen that was not covered in clothes. His jeans were black and his blouse grey....but nothing despite the indifference in his neutral clothings sprung out: his step brother, on the contrary, wore bright colours and announced his presence in each beholder. But him....curling in his solitude with the boys of the soccer team, diminished his awareness. He, undignified, blended into the spectrum.
The acid did not hurdle up my flesh: it increased the sourness within it and concentrated the acuteness in its bite; but it never sprang up my throat. My heart, despite the uncontrollable quickness of its beats, silenced it's drilling. My breath gasped in an uncertain inhumanity.... his carelessness to me.
"I think he is the other one" Jane concluded
"I think he is" I answered....still with unbalanced bewilderment crawling at my sanity.
He didn't care about me. He didn't worry about me. He was here and he didn't even bother to seek me or see if I was okay.....I found that hard to believe, maybe it was my hurt ego talking, but it felt so unnatural. Because after such an intimate encounter as the one we had....I thought we had some sort of connection, something, besides the secret, that connected us.
But it was true, we were strangers after all.
He saved my life....but that doesn't make me his friend.