Evelyn stood at the open door, her back to the Glad, staring straight down the halls of the maze. Everything was numb. Everything hurt, but it wasn't a sharp pain anymore. It was a throbbing dull ache. She felt empty. The tears had stopped and she didn't bother wiping them away, they dried leaving tracks down her cheeks. She was so listless she didn't hear the footsteps behind her.
"Uhh Evelyn? Can I talk to you?"
She didn't move, her eyes still staring down the hall.
"He's all yours Thomas."
"No." He shook his head, "I told him I'm not gonna be the reason for this mess. I didn't know, and I am truly sorry. I said nothing was gonna happen until he fixed his mess. And even then, he's gotta figure out what's going on. A simple Sorry won't fix what happened. And I'm not sure what I can do. But I just hope...maybe we could at least get along?"
She finally turned to look at him. He stood straight, his hands shoved into his pockets. But he had turned to talk to her. His eyes were big and honest. His face was sad but open and earnest. Evelyn believed him.
"I'm not calling you Tommy."
"That's fair." He nodded, a shadow of a smile showed on his face.
"You did save my life in the maze. You owed me nothing, and yet you still took time to try to keep me safe. So... thank you; I won't forget that."
"I don't doubt you would have done the same."
"True."
"Soo..? We good?" He asked hopefully.
"It's going to take time, Thomas. When I see you it send a knife back into my heart-"
"-Eve-"
"I know you didn't know. I do. But that doesn't change the fact that the young man I loved for three years threw it all away for you, a few hours after he meet you."
Thomas hung his head.
"It'll take time. And I do appreciate that you stopped when you found out."
"I'm not that kind of guy." He shook his head.
Evelyn gave a sharp nod. And turned back to the maze halls. Waiting. Thomas stood beside her for a second and then hesitantly placed a hand on her should and patted it awkwardly. He then turned and walked away.
Evelyn stayed where she was. Waiting. Grinding her teeth and taking slow ragged breaths. Trying to keep her heart from beating out of chest and the stomach bile from creeping up. She heard another set of footsteps.
"Hey."
She insanely deflated and she wilted, her head hung and she dropped her arms to her sides.
"I figured." Was all Minho said and pulled her into a hug. He rubbed her back.
"What did he want? Did he finally apologize? Is everything gonna work out?"
She pulled away and turned back towards the maze, her arms around herself. And shook her head.
"No. I ended it. It's over. More than a year...and it's over in a few words." She said flatly. She had given so many tears she was out, the dull numb throb was back.
"Evy...I'm so sorry!"
He grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. She shrugged, emotionless. Minho lifted her chin so she had to look at him. His eyes looked so...sad, his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. His hand slid from her chin to cup her cheek. Evelyn's eyes fluttered closed for a moment. Looking back up at him her eyes were blank. The spark of life that used to lit them up was dulled by pain and heart ache. The smile that always made the sun brighter was a flat line.
"I wish I could help take that pain away." He said quietly.
"It's not your burden to bere."
"It shouldn't be yours either, Evy. You did nothing wrong, you don't deserve this!"
She gave him a small sad smile. He pulled her back into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight, his one hand cupped the back of her head and the other around her back. He held her until Nick walked up.
"Guys...it's time."
Minho pulled away, gave her an encouraging nod and left with Nick to go get Ben. Evelyn turned back to the Maze. Her eyes closed, the pressure and tension of what she was about to do weighed heavy on her shoulders. She appreciated Alby so much more. Another hard choice, but this time she was incharge of executing the plan.
With her back to the Glade and her eyes closed she went into herself. She heard the rumble of footsteps behind her. Most of the Gladers had seen what happened and the ones who didn't see it, were told. This wasn't a surprise. Still didn't make it easier.
Nick came back holding the sharpened spears. Evelyn turned to finally face the Gladers. The Keepers had formed a semi circle infront of the guys. Nick handed her a spear. He gave her a sad look, and a small smile, one she did not return. Once spears were passed out she turned. Taking a deep steady breathing to steel herself. She called for Minho.
"Bring him out!"
From around the Slammer holding Ben between them was Minho and Sonny. They both looked stone cold. Ben's arms were tied and held behind his head. He was a big white bandage around his head that was stained red from where Newt slammed the shovel into his head. He looked terrible. His clothes were ripped and hanging off of him, like he attacked himself and ripped his own clothes. He was pale with black veins still very visible. His eyes were almost black and rimmed red. He had spit and some dark phlem trickling down his chin.
"Just listen to me. Just, please, listen to me Please, Minho! Sonny! Please!" Ben pleaded. His dark wild eyes flying around. Minho dragged his old running partner and friend to the middle, and forced him to his knees.
"Evy! Please! Please no! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I pushed you! I'm sorry! Please don't do it!" He cried, struggling against the ropes binding him.
"Ben of the Runners," Evelyn yelled above the pleading and crying.
There was a wild blast of wind that came down the tunnle. It made her hair fly around her, and pull at her clothes, holding the spear and the cold look on her face with fire in her dead eyes. Anger flashed inside her. Making her healing power surge, and her hands started to glow. All the Gladers took a slight step back.
She heard muttering and whisperings.
"She looks like some wild witch!"
"Dude she is a witch!"
"Nah man...it's Evy!"
"She looks like she could kill you!"
"Definitely she could!"
Evelyn was furious, a barly controled rage bubbled inside of her. She was angry at the Creators, at whoever made the Grievers, at whoever put them inside this prison; anger at all the useless death and gore; she was angry at Newt for the humiliation and broken trust, she was angry that Alby was still out and no one had the guts to step forward to do this.
"You have broken our rules. For your attempted murder of Thomas the Greenie...Your fate has been decided: Banishment. Keepers have spoken and their decision ain't changing. You won't be coming back. Ever."
"Please! No! Evelyn! Please! I didn't mean to! I'll get better I promise! Please Evelyn...please!" Ben screamed, spit, snot and black phlem flew from him.
The rumbling started. The stone on stone grinding, the sound of rusty chains pulling.
Minho cut the rope around Ben's hands and tossed the small bag into the hall. And took his spear from Sonny.
"Keepers! Spears!"
All the keepers lowered the sharp part forming a tight circle around Ben. Evelyn's stomach was twisting, her heart was in her throat and she could taste stomach bile.
"Move in."
The semi circle of Keepers stepped closer, driving Ben backwards on his hands. He scrambled to his feet when they all took another step. Evelyn's eyes weren't focused on Ben. She couldn't watch what she was doing. They were staring at the point of her spear. The walls were only a few feet apart. The Keepers were now poking him and corralling him through the closing door.
"PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS. DON'T! PLEASE! HELP! EVELYN HELP ME! PLEASE!"
With a last thrust of her spear he fell backwards with a loud blood curdling no that rolled his vocal cords and the door slammed shut, cutting his screams off. She stood her chest heaving turning around she looked straight ahead, not really looking at anyone.
"He belongs to the maze now."
There was silence. The Gladers slowly trickled off. Nick took the spears and went to lock them up again. Newt was hanging at the back and then just slunk away. Minho wondered away, his head down and a blank look in his eyes. Evelyn slid down the wall, her head in her hands.
"You did good."
"Then why do I feel so sick?"
"Because he was a friend. And making a decision and carrying it out are different."
"Thanks Sonny."
He hummed while patting her knee. He sat down beside her and didn't say anything. Just beside her, a big quiet presence. She lay her head down on his shoulder.
"Sonny...I want a time machine and rewind time to six months ago."
"Well all want to go back to a time we were the most happy. But, life has a way of always going on. Evy...if you don't leave the past in the past it will distroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not what yesterday took away."
Evelyn was quiet, thinking about what Sonny said.
"What are you implying?"
"Nothing. I know you were happy. He made you happy, the Glad was running smooth...but now...we can't force something to happen if it's not ment to be. Maybe someone else is ment to be your happiness right now. Maybe it's you, maybe it Minho, maybe it's someone else entirely. Maybe it will be Newt again eventually. But right now...that's what we gotta live for. Mourn the past, but we can't live in the past."
"The past is familiar... tomorrow is unknown and scary."
He hummed. "Yes...but if you ain't scared you ain't human."
Evelyn chuckled sadly. Then sighed.
"Sonny. Have I ever told you your words always blow me away. You must have been a life coach or motivational speaker or something in your past life."
He hummed again.
"So..what do we do now?"
Sonny shrugged.
"Nick talked about having a fire, just to keep moral up."
She snorted in dirision "Fitting." She muttered.
_________________________
Evelyn sat up on the watch tower, leaning on the railing, her legs dangling over the edge, sipping on a jar of her and Gally's moonshine. It had a minty flavor to this batch of Vodka.
She stared down into the fire, and watched the guys. Minho and the other Runners say in a clump off in the back. Everyone was quiet chatter died out pretty quickly. Thomas and Newt had started off sitting beside each other but then Thomas got up and walked away.
There was footsteps on the ladder, glancing over her shoulder, and saw a head of wild curls. Chuck emerged with a huff and came to sit beside her.
"Hey Mom."
"Hey Sweet Chucky." She tried to smile for him.
"Well, today has been...one giant klunk."
Evelyn snorted into her jar making her cough. He smacked her back.
"That is a shucken understatement."
"So? How'd that chat with Newt go?"
She sighed.
"It's over Chuck." She said quietly.
"But not forever, right?" He asked, his big brown eyes looked up at her.
"I don't know Chuck. He's got some stuff to figure out. Maybe...one day." She shrugged.
"And what about Minho?" Chucked asked nudging her.
Evelyn fidget with her jar and took a sip just to give her self something to do.
"He's always been a best friend, maybe one day I could see him in a different way. But I don't want him to be rebound. So, right now it's no one but me."
"That's probably smart." He nodded.
"Thank you. Glad you approve."
"Hey, mom that sounds quite sarcastic! I'm a smart kid!"
She chuckled quietly.
"You're a good kid Chuck. Thanks for making me smile."
"It's a gift."
He layed his head on her shoulder and she held him close. He was quiet again for a while.
"Hey Mom?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah Bud?"
He sniffed, and she could feel his shoulders trembling. She squeezed him tighter into the side hug. And placed her cheek on top of his head.
"I'm kinda messed up. Like...it's weird to feel sad and homesick, but I have no idea what it is you wish you could go back to, ya know?"
He rushed all at once. He paused to take a breath and Evelyn's sore callased heart softened. And her eyes swam with tears again, she didn't know she had any more tears left. But listening to a child snuffle over a mom he couldn't remember made her sorrowful. He sniffed and wiped his nose.
"All I know is I don't want to be here. I want to go back to my family. Whatever's there, where ever I was taken from. I wanna remember...."
Chuck had never talked this deep, so honest and true and so sad. He beautifully articulated what every Glader felt, what Evelyn felt deep in her bleak soul. Chuck's voice was higher than normal, and he was constantly sniffling. Evelyn sat up and turned towards him, she held his chubby baby face in her hands his big innocent doe eyes filling with bleak sadness and his eyes flooded with tears and his chin quivered.
"I used to cry. Every night." He whispered.
"Chuck! My sweet child, why didn't you come find me?"
"You were with Newt and I knew he was annoyed with me already during the day."
"Well shuck him. Come sleep in my cabin. I'm so sorry you felt that way."
"Yeah...cried like a pants-wettin' baby. Almost till the day Thomas got here! I eventually got used to it, I guess. This became home, even though we spend every day hoping to get out." He pulled his face away and looked down over the fire.
"Chuck? Can I tell you something?"
Evelyn's eyes were burning and the tears finally slid down her cheeks.
"Ya...'course Mom, shoot!" His voice had enthusiasm that Evelyn knew was a cover to his hurt and fears.
"I've cried a whole shuck load of times. Especially the first few months after we woke up here and the last week...Sometimes all I feel I've done is cry."
He eyed her suspiciously, "well this last week sure. But...I can't see that, you were also so happy and nice!"
"Oh absolutely I cried! I was scared. I woke up here with no memory, I didn't have anyone to help me figure it out. I was the only girl until our greenie showed up. I've seen a lot of my friends die. Yes Chuck..I've cried so much! I'm surprised I haven't turned into a raisin! I was so scared! I was always scared! I'm still scared, but now I'm sad and angry. But... crying sure made me feel better. Don't feel bad about crying. Ever. Alby told me once..."
Evelyn cleared her throat and scrunched her face, and in her best Alby impression, "Look here, Greenie, if you ain't scared, you ain't human!"
Chuck snorted, and his lips curled into a smile.
"And. Sonny told me once, emotions don't make you weak. It makes you human."
"That guy is an inigma! He works with dead bodies, he's big and scary...but like when I shucken talk to him he's super nice!"
Evelyn smiled, she leaned in and whispered, "he likes fluffy kittens and unicorns."
"No shucken way!" Chuck gasped. "No, I don't believe you! Big mean dogs and dragons!"
Evelyn leaned back on her hands and nodded with a smile.
"Very true. Have I ever lied to you?"
He shook his head. "No...your the only one."
She frowned at the boy. Chuck was fidgiting with something in his lap, but his small smile slipped.
"Mom? Do ya' think I have parents? Real parents?"
Evelyn leaned forwards, and lifted his chin again making him look at her.
"Listen to me, Chuck." Evelyn took a pause to get her emotions into check before continuing. "I'm sure you have parents. I know it! Sounds terrible, but I bet your mom is sitting in your room right now; holding your pillow, looking out at the world that stole you from her. And yeah, I bet she's crying. Hard. Puffy-eyed, snotty-nosed crying. The real deal."
Chuck didn't say anything, but a tear slowly tumbled down his cheek. Evelyn swiped it away with her thumb.
"Until we find your real mom I hope I can be an adequate substitute."
With a small sob he flung himself into her arms, and she held the boy as he cried. Once his cries were sniffles she pulled away gently.
"Come on my sweet child, bed time. Well stop and grab your stuff, it's high time we have a sleepover."