𝐕𝐀𝐋
༻❁༺
The helicopter exploded into pieces, sending our bodies into the air and away. My vision flashed, my ears rang, my senses blurred, and the distant ache ran throughout my spine as I was slammed against the ground. I wasn't so sure where I had landed, only that I was still alive and very much in pain.
The smell of burning and smoke filled my lungs, and I coughed, groaning as I rolled around on the ground and pushed myself to my knees and hands. I glanced at the source. The fire was alive, flames vibrating with the need to swallow me. It was scary.
But then what was left of the helicopter began to shrink into itself, and the entire place began to shake. Cracks began to form on the ground, and I pushed myself back and crawled away. Suddenly the ground was opening and the heli was falling through a hole. The rooftop was collapsing. We needed to get out of here.
We.
Simon.
Oh God.
My senses came back, and with it my thoughts and purposes. I pushed myself to my feet and looked around, searching for Simon while ignoring my sore body. My heart was racing inside my chest and I got the overwhelming urge to sob and cry my eyes out.
Please let him be okay.
He had shielded me from the impact, put himself between me and the explosion, how in the hell was he going to be in a better condition than me? My eyes watered and my vision blurred, but I rubbed at them frustrated and desperate.
I saw his body lying facedown on the ground not very far away from me, and I was more worried than relieved, I found him but I still wasn't able to tell if he was okay or if he was even breathing. I limped to him while clutching my shoulder, didn't waste any second, and dropped to my knees. Half of his clothes were torn apart on the back, flesh burned red. When I pulled his body around with my working arm, my lip trembled as I saw his bleeding face. I brought my forehead and pressed it to his, silently praying.
Please, please, please.
I brought my shaking fingers to his throat and... there. A pulse. I found it. He was still alive.
I gasped a large breath. "Simon." I grabbed his face, shook his body, and checked for other injuries. Apart from the wound on his leg, there weren't other lethal ones. "Come on, wake up." I smacked his face softly, not wanting to hurt him further, and yelled his name a last time.
He finally reacted, and the first thing he did was cup the back of my head and hug me to his body. I sighed, losing myself in him for a few seconds and letting myself enjoy his warmth, so glad that he was alive and breathing. He buried his head in my neck like he always did, then brought his mouth to the shell of my ear and—
"I love you."
I shook my head, the words shattering me completely. I pulled back and looked into his shining eyes. "Don't... You can't say them now. Not like this. Not like you are saying goodbye to me." Tears fell down my face. I wanted to soak his words in, but it was impossible in a situation like the one we were in.
He cupped my cheek and brought me closer. "I'll never say goodbye to you, my love."
The ground shook, alarming me. It was a warning, that if we didn't get out, it was going to swallow us next. I slid my working arm under Simon's body and pushed him to a sitting position. He groaned but didn't stop me. Putting his arm around my shoulders, I struggled to pull him up to his feet, and when I did, he leaned most of his weight on me. I knew then that he was so much worse than I thought.
"I'm sorry," he whispered beside me. "I didn't mean to kill him."
"Let's not worry about it."
"It's just..." He sucked in a breath. "I was so scared of losing you."
My heart swelled. "I know, Simon. I was too." I glanced at the entrance to the rooftop but it was completely destroyed, so I dragged us the other way instead. The escape that Simon told me about in case something—maybe not something like this—happened. "We're getting out of this together," I reassured him. The other building sat two, almost three, floors down from where we were. The fall was going to be heavy, but it was our only hope, and I was grasping at anything at this point.
A big part of the ground fell somewhere behind me and the sudden movement made my knees buckle. I wasn't stopping though. I cried out as I straightened with Simon on me, and I continued. We were about ten feet away from the edge of the building. We were almost there. I flinched at the commotion behind me, knowing that the ground was collapsing. I didn't want to look. I wanted to keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.
The ground under my feet parted in half, one part detaching itself from the other one. I managed to get on the one that wasn't falling, but Simon whom I was dragging behind me, didn't make it with me. His body went down into the hole and I reacted fast, catching his arm before he could fall. My front body slammed to the floor and I screamed when pain shot throughout my body. I had grabbed him with the arm that wasn't working, the one with the wound in the shoulder, and now it felt like it was trying to separate itself from my body.
Fuck. No. No. No! Why is this happening to me? To him? To us?
He was too damn heavy for me, and our hands were slipping. I tried to pull him up but I needed both hands and the strength of two and the pain was just too much and I felt like dying and he wasn't doing anything! I cried and continued to do my best, only every time I pulled, he was bringing my body with him. I shook my head, refusing to give up. I couldn't let him die. He wasn't dying. Not like this.
I bit down on my lip and pulled, screaming in my throat, nails biting at his skin as I tried to grasp anything that could make it easier, like his vest. If I could only grab the strap, maybe I could pull him up. "Come on!"
My hand slipped and Simon almost fell, but I caught his fingers and went back to the beginning. I sobbed, the emotions taking hold of me. My cheeks were burning because of the hunger of the flames on the bottom of the next ground four floors down, waiting anxiously to swallow Simon's body. I couldn't let them do that. I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't.
Please, not again.
His hand clutching mine loosened and I looked into his eyes alarmed. I shook my head, not liking what I found in them. "Don't you dare."
"Everything will be okay."
"No." My voice broke. The tears in my eyes were blurring my sight of him, so I pressed my eyes together and breathed in and out through my nose. "Please, don't. Please, don't. Please, don't." I kept saying that, over and over again, in my mind and out of my mouth the words went.
Simon groaned when I pulled at his body again. "Stop... Valentina, stop!"
I didn't listen to him. I kept pulling, trying to bring him up to safe ground. My hands fisted his sweatshirt and when I pulled, it ripped. The ground under me shook and his arm slipped from my grip until I was grasping his hand again. "No!"
"Valentina," he softly said. I looked into his eyes and my heart stopped. Everything in me stopped. Because his eyes. Simon's eyes told me he had already given up. He gave up. "You're gonna be fine, darling."
"No," I whispered, begging him with my eyes, with my tears, with my voice, to not give up yet. That we were so close. That we could make it. That without him, life had no meaning anymore.
But Simon had already accepted his fate.
"No!" I refused to let him go. "If you want to die, then I'm coming with you."
He shook his head with a wince. "You can't come with me. You have to live. For the two of us."
"If it's not with you, then I don't want it."
"You can't die!" he growled, desperately, his eyes telling me stories about his worst fear.
"Simon," I begged, "please, don't do this to me."
"Promise me, Valentina, that you'll get out of here alive."
I sobbed, crying noisily and gasping for air that never made it to my lungs. God, why? Why is this happening? My body was sore, but it didn't compare to the ache in my heart that felt like they were ripping it out of my chest. "I..." I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from saying it, but there was no more time. "I p-promise."
I pressed my eyes together, hoping again that this was just a nightmare and that any time soon I would wake up. But the ground shook and reminded me that the reality was so much worse than a mere nightmare. I watched his face for the last time, memorizing those brown eyes and blond hair. Even in a moment like this, he was still so beautiful, so unique, so unforgettable. It was incredible, how in such a short time he turned out to mean so much to me, and I was never, ever, going to forget him.
"I love you, too, Simon Riley." Not a goodbye.
He exhaled relieved. "Thank you, Valentina."
I shivered as more tears began to fall down my cheeks, knowing that thank you meant so much more.
The smile that he gave me was sweet, and it carved itself into the walls of my mind. "Let go now, love."
His hand slipped from my fingers. His body fell backward. His eyes were the last thing I saw from him as he slowly disappeared behind the smoke and into the starving flames. With a strangled sob, I turned around and did as he said. I ran and ran and ran until I couldn't anymore. Until I was jumping over the edge and keeping my promise, leaving him behind and saving myself only like a selfish person.
I rolled over and stared at the dark blue sky. The stars above stared back at me, blurred by the smoke coming from the next building. I wondered if there was someone up there staring back at me, and if so, I wanted to ask them why these things happened to me. Why couldn't I be happy? When was it going to be my turn?
Ghost. Simon. My love and his honey brown eyes. The man that healed me, protected me, and encouraged me all at the same time. The same man that while fighting his battles, he still managed to smile for me. The one that took my life and turned it into heaven.
What have I done?
I stared at the blurred sky and the stars hid away as if they didn't have an answer to my questions. I heard in the background the way ground after ground continued to collapse with Simon still inside, mirroring the way my world, my heart, and my soul collapsed until there was nothing but silence.
Nothing but numbness.
What have I done?
*ೃ༄
𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃...
no comments, just tears.
(i am known for being super dramatic)
i guess i should apologize
so
i'm ^ sorry