Nick and I go back to painting the banner. He manages to keep his hands to himself and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing for me. We make small talk about the football team and his dog Boomer.
We manage to finish the banner within an hour.
I watch him as he checks his phone. "I can't believe it's already nine." He says, as he locks his phone screen and pushes his phone into his back pocket.
"I know it's kinda late, but do you want to see my room?" I smile innocently up at him.
His body hitches for a moment as he keeps his eyes on me. "Uh, I don't know Liliana."
"I'm not trying to have sex with you, Nick." I laugh. "I just want you to see it."
"I don't want Mark thinking I'm doing sexual things to his daughter in his house. I honestly just wanted to help with the banner." He seems sorta shy when says this.
"I know you did... but do you still want to come see my room?" I interlace my fingers and playfully swing my hips side to side.
He takes note of this as he licks his lips.
His breathing becomes heavier. "Where's Marks room? Is it close to yours?" He questions me.
"Nope." I smirk. "Come on." I grab him by the hand and try to lead him through the sliding back door, but he quickly stops me.
"—Wait. I seriously don't want to wake him up, Liliana." He tells me sternly.
I stare back at him. "What are we going to be doing to wake him up, Nick?" I felt a slow heat creeping up my limbs.
"Nothing." He clears his throat. "We aren't doing anything, right?" He asks after swallowing deeply.
"We're just going to see my room." I laugh.
We silently creep up the stairs and I could tell Nick was on edge. He was acting like I was sneaking him into a museum to steal some rare artifact. I found it quite humorous, I never seen him this nervous.
It was adorable.
I quietly open my bedroom door and we both enter inside. I make sure to close it behind us. Nick searches the room around with his eyes as he keeps his feet planted on my bedroom floor in the same spot.
"It's cute, right?" I ask him.
He gives me a look. "It sorta looks like it's for a little girl." He says, carefully.
"Well, that's because it was for a little girl. Mark designed it a long time ago for me."
Nick suddenly starts to become emotional. I could see it on his face and hear it in his voice. "Does it make you happy?" He asks.
"Yes, it makes me really, happy. I'm glad he kept it like this. It's kinda healing to know he did this all for me." I say, as I sit down onto my bed.
"I almost didn't come see it." He replies as he desperately, tries to hold back tears.
"It's okay, Nick." I softly, tell him.
"I just wanted to make you happy, Liliana. I'm so fucking sorry that I couldn't." He comes over to me and sits beside me on the bed.
I start to feel emotional myself. "I know, Nick. Can I give you a hug?" I ask him.
He turns his face towards mine as he lazily looks at me through his watery eyes. He then gives me a gentle nod. I immediately wrap my arms around him and he pulls me into a secure hug. Being held by him again made my heart race. A tingly warmth flooded my entire body, his touch was unmatchable.
I dip my face down into the corner of his shoulder and lightly cry into the fabric of his cotton t-shirt.
"Are you okay?" He asks sadly, as he rests his chin on the top of my head.
"Please, just don't let go yet." I tighten my grip around him. It felt too good for me to want it to end.
"I won't." He says, as he sniffles.
We stay there suspended in the euphoric moment for sometime, before he brings his face down closer. He presses his forehead against mine and he stares into my eyes. "Liliana?" He whispers.
"Yes?" I whisper back.
"Can you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
"I don't know, it's like this weird thing.." He gently, strokes a soft strand of my hair.
"It's weird?" I question him.
"No, not like that. It's like.. something you can't describe or see, but you can feel it between us.. do you feel it?"
He touches my chest with his finger tip "It feels like touching something perfect."
"—But I'm not perfect, Nick. You know that." I pull his hand closer, so that he opens it and places his palm over my chest. My heart was beating out of control. I know he could feel it.
"Yeahh, but you actually, fucking are." He groans.
"You know that's not true, Nick." I quietly, laugh.
His hand moves up my arm and shoulder until it reaches the side of my neck. He softly clamps his hand around the back of it sending chills across my skin. For a second, I thought he was about to kiss me, but he doesn't. He just lingers with his face painfully close to mine and peers deeply into my eyes. I could almost feel my soul vibrating.
"You feel so soft and fragile." He whispers. "I want to protect you, Liliana."
"From what?" I question him.
"Myself."
I stare back up into his eyes as he wipes a tear away from my cheek. His hand moves down and he brushes his thumb across my bottom lip. My body bucks forward wanting more of him.
"Everything that happened was my fault, okay? I don't want you to carry the weight of my wrong anymore." He says, quietly.
I shake my head. "It wasn't all of your fault, Nick."
He holds my face tenderly in his hands now, and I can see that his eyes were filled by the excruciating pain and regret he was feeling.
"Just say that it was." He tells me sternly.
"No. I can't, it's not true. " I shake my head again.
"Tell me how much I fucked up. I want to hear it. Tell me how much you hate me." His voice starts to become shakier and I watch as a tear softly glides down his face.
"I can't do that Nick, because I love you. I'm still in love with you."
"Fuck.." He breaths, letting go of my face. "I should probably, go home." He says.
"Wait, was it because I said I'm still in love with you?" My body felt frantically, unstable. I didn't want him to leave.. not yet. It wasn't enough, there was so much more I wanted to say. I was worried I just ruined the moment.
"No, it's because I don't think I can control myself." He tells me.
"Don't go yet." I look at him in distress. "Stay and hold me until I fall asleep, please?"
He breaths out and rubs his face with his hands. "Okay, Liliana. I can do that." He says, gently.
I smile and crawl up to my pillows. He slides up beside me and cups my body from behind. His arms shelter me within their firm grasp and I felt comfortable and content in the first time in a long time. We stay fully clothed and on top of the blanket as our breathing matches one another's softly putting me to asleep.
"Nick?" I drowsily, whisper his name. "This feels really good. Thank you." I tell him.
His hands tighten around me, but he doesn't respond.
The next morning.
"Oh, shit." Nicks voice wakes me up and that's when I realized the sun was shining through my window. "I fucking fell asleep, I'm fucked!" He jumps up out of my bed.
"It's okay, Nick." I try to calm him down, because he looked completely, frantic.
"No, it's not, Liliana." He tells me. "I'm sorry, I gotta go, okay?" He adds, as he stares at my dresser mirror and flattens down his hair.
"I'll walk you out." I say, following him through my door and downstairs.
Mark was sitting at the kitchen table eating some breakfast. His face instantly, changes as he catches the sight of the two of us.
"Did you just spend the night in my house?" He questions Nick.
Nick was about to answer, but I quickly interrupt him. "Yeah, um.. we accidentally fell asleep. He's really got to go now, though."
"Why are you in such a rush? Come sit down, have breakfast with us." Mark says, as he keeps his eyes locked onto Nick.
"Oh, I would, but.."
"—But he has to be somewhere." I interject.
"Well, alright then." Mark didn't seem to happy about this.
Nick goes to open the front door, but he stops to look at Mark. "Hey, uh. Nothing happened last night.. we just fell asleep.. that's it."
Mark gives him a harsh nod. "Better get going, then." He tells him.
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