A/N: Happy day of our Lord, here's an extra chapter with two sex scenes. ✨
——————————————————————
Somewhere along the highway between Salt Lake City and Las Vegas, Lee and I stopped to pee, get gas, and fill up on junk food.
The gas station was playing country music, and the guy behind the counter kept looking at Lee. It was pissing me off. I eyed him, and he gave me a very suggestive once over. I gave him my most withering stare, and he finally backed down.
"How much do you think this will rot my stomach?" Lee asked, holding up a cup of "fresh" coffee.
"I predict we have an hour before you need to stop again," I said dismissively, rolling my eyes. I went back to the task at hand, checking my messages yet again.
"She didn't text, she won't text, take a break," Lee muttered, irritated. "Lucy, my love, take a break."
I bit my lip, fighting back tears, and put my phone in my back pocket. We gathered our snacks, paid the disgusting creep at the register, and headed back to the truck.
Billie had insisted that we hire movers to pack up my apartment and ship my stuff to LA. But I disagreed. I wanted to go over each item with my own two hands, pack everything myself, and say goodbye to my old life. I did so with Lee at my side, who'd flown from LA where she'd already moved, to be with me in the Twin Cities while I packed up.
Initially, I had decided to let her hire a moving company that would just drive my stuff there. But even that seemed like too much. I had my little car, which I decided to keep, so I booked a truck myself, hooked my car up to the back, and Lee and I began the three day drive.
It was fun, mostly. We listened to music and talked about anything and everything, ate too much crap, and stayed the night at shitty motels. We watched old movies and ordered pizza and goofed around like we were teens again.
"I can't wait to see you..." Billie would murmur on her nightly calls. "You sure you're okay?"
"Baby, I'm fine," I'd say softly back. "I'll be home soon. I miss you."
"I miss you, so much."
Neither of us talked about Claire.
And we hadn't at all, really, since we'd gotten home from Europe. That first night we cried ourselves to sleep, and after that... it was too painful.
I hung up the phone, and checked my messages. Nothing.
Now it was our last day of driving, and we were only about 6 hours away from Los Angeles.
"You wanna drive?" Lee asked, stretching.
I nodded. It meant I couldn't check my phone, and I could focus my hands and brain on something other than women.
Lee talked a bit while we drove, but saw I wasn't in the mood, and left me be. She put in ear plugs and took a nap, and I blared a playlist I'd made months ago and just rediscovered.
Billie came on now and then, bringing a smile to my face as I sang every word, staring out the window at the desert. Dominic Fike made me sing, Leith Ross made me feel things, Between Friends made me dance. And then...
A poppy beat, a little bass, and Claire's adorable voice introducing the song with a, "do do do do do..."
It hit me like a solid punch in the gut. My hands gripped the thick steering wheel of the moving van, and it was all I could do not to pull over and puke in the ditch.
whatever happened to
when you would hold me
and hold me, and hold me
girlfriend or girl that's a friend?
it's easy just to pretend
that we don't have something real
it's just how we feel
I felt desperately sick to my stomach. It'd been over a week since I'd left her in that airport, and I hadn't heard a word since. Even when she'd gotten home safely, she'd only texted Billie, not me.
Every nerve ending in my body told me to reach for the phone, just to check on her. But wisdom said not to. Billie didn't want me to. She was right; I needed a clean break from Claire, too.
She was grieving the loss of that relationship, also. But she was more ready than I was to move in and move forward. I felt stuck. Every day I woke up feeling like it should be the three of us. Not that Billie wasn't enough; but I was used to how we all were. And I — I missed her.
i wanna be the one you
think about at night
and i wanna be the one that you
would put up a fight for
I stared out the windshield at the dusty road, then impulsively grabbed my earbuds from the cup holder, shoving them in my ears. I eyed Lee, making sure she wasn't going to suddenly wake up. Her head lolled against the window while she slept, a little drool dripping onto her chin.
In one fluid motion so I didn't lose my nerve, I went to my contacts, pulled up Claire, and pressed call.
It rang once, twice, then —
"Lucy," her beautiful voice breathed.
"Hi," I croaked. I listened to the silence on the other end, desperately tried to hear her breathing. "...How are you?"
"I'm... okay," she replied softly. "You?"
"I'm... um, driving," I deflected. "A big fuckin' truck."
"Moving, huh?" Was that ache in her voice?
"Yeah," I muttered. "We'll be there soon."
"Lucy... Why are you calling me?"
I gripped the wheel again until my hands hurt. "Because... because I heard your song, and..."
"You shouldn't be calling me."
"I'm sorry," I could barely get the words out over the lump in my throat. "I needed to hear your voice..."
"How does your girlfriend feel about that?"
The icy blast from that sentence shocked me.
"My girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend," she muttered rudely. "Never was."
"Baby, I—" the pet name slipped out.
"Lucy, I'm not your girlfriend either, and I never was. I'm not your...... I'm not your baby anymore. I gotta go."
The call ended. I stared out the windshield, hating myself for disrupting her grieving process, for causing her to lash out and get upset. I was the bullseye of her anger, and I had just handed her ammo.
Lee woke up as we neared LA, but I kept driving, getting us all the way there. I was grouchier than ever, and when Lee asked why, I brushed her off and turned the music up.
I'd found a new playlist.
When we pulled into my new house, Billie came running out excitedly. I hadn't expected to see her; she had meetings on her schedule. She must've cancelled them to meet me.
Lee smacked my arm from the passenger side as I parked. "Be nice to her at least, okay? She didn't do anything wrong."
I softened, nodded. "Thanks. Sorry."
We got out and Billie jumped on me, mauling me with kisses and hugs. "Hi baby, I missed you so much."
I smiled despite my bad mood; she was so sweet and cute in her sweats. I swiped my thumb over her lower lip, and leaned in to kiss her deeply. "I love you."
Her eyes sparkled, her adorable nose crinkled. "Love you, baby. You live here now."
I grinned. She'd turned my whole mood around with 1 minute in her presence. "Yes, I do."
Lee came around the side of the truck towards us, stretching. "I can't believe I love you so much I made that drive for the second time in a month."
"More fun with me, or with Josh?"
She said nothing, but grinned. "Hey Billie."
"Hi, Lee," Billie said. "Thanks for taking care of my girl."
"Anytime," Lee replied, still smiling.
"Let's go wait inside for the movers," Billie grumbled. "Hot as fuck out here."
She put her arm around my waist and pulled me in. Shark leapt in my arms the moment I walked in the door. I cooed and kissed him and dragged him around by his chest while Billie got us all some water.
"Very menacing," Lee said as she leaned down and he licked her face. "Terrifying big boy."
"He's vewy tuff," I muttered as I snuggled his jowls.
"So where are we gonna put all your shit?" Bill grinned as she flopped onto the couch.
I set shark down and went to join her. "I got rid of a lot of stuff, honestly."
Lee came and sat on the floor, resting her elbow on the coffee table. I felt a pang in my chest as I remembered another woman sitting there, fluffy brown hair in her eyes.
Billie squeezed my hand. I looked at her, and her expression said she'd thought of the same thing. I kissed her fingers.
"You didn't get rid of enough stuff," Lee muttered. "I don't think we needed every single giant t-shirt in the world."
I grinned at Billie, who grinned back, said, "Oh, yes she did."
"And now the collection has increased," I laughed, loving how much stuff we shared.
I kissed Billie, pulling at the shoulder of her giant tee. When I pulled away, I looked over at Lee. She looked tired as fuck.
"Go home, Lee. See your boyfriend. We'll get you an Uber."
She nodded. "If you guys are okay unpacking without me..."
"You've done more than your duty," Billie laughed.
When the Uber arrived we said our goodbyes, excitedly remembering at the door that we still lived in the same city. As we hugged I felt deeply grateful for this friend who grew with me, providing endless support through thick and thin.
I closed the door and turned around. Billie had pulled her shirt off, and was already moving onto her pants. I froze.
"Fuck me," she breathed, simply. "Right now."
I nodded, taking my own shirt off shakily and following her to the bedroom. I pulled my pants down as she opened a drawer, pulling out the strap.
"Baby..." I breathed.
"I mean really, really, fuck me. Hard."
I nodded, trying to keep my legs steady as I took the strap from her and slipped into it. As I adjusted the buckles, she dropped to her knees in front of me. I froze, watching her deep throat it, gripping my hips tightly the whole time. She pulled back, ran her tongue over the tip, making deep eye contact with me.
What the fuck.
She stood up, avoiding my hands as I reached for her, and climbed onto the bed. She got on her hands and knees, arching her back beautifully. I stared at her glowing skin, her silky hair loose and thrown over her shoulder. Her perfect body and her absolutely flawless ass.
I just stared. No kissing, no foreplay, nothing. I hesitated; did this mean something? Was she just horny after days apart? Was this part of her grief?
I swallowed, "Billie, I—"
"Fuck me, baby," she said softly, her face dropping to the bed, her ass rising higher in the air. "Please..."
I bit my lip, and moved toward her. "Okay, baby."
I took her hips in my hands, running them over her soft ass, and she shivered. Goosebumps broke out across her back, and I followed them with my fingers, sliding my hands up her spine and down her sides.
"Please, baby," she groaned, arching deeper.
She wanted it, badly. I slid my hand back down her ass, then between her thighs, finding them already slick with wetness. I shivered, slipping my fingers up against her pussy, teasing her clit lightly. I slid one finger, soaked with her juices, deep inside her, and she groaned.
"Fuck, Lucy, just fuck me already."
I froze. There was a bite to her voice I wasn't expecting. And you know what? If that's what she wanted, she could have it. I pulled my hand from her abruptly and she whimpered.
I'd give her something to whimper about.
I positioned the dildo at her entrance, and with one swift motion, buried it in her.
She cried out, but I didn't pause. I started fucking her at a relentless pace, her yells muffled into the duvet as she buried her face in the bed.
I kept a heavy pace, watching her ass redden with the exertion. It looked too delicious; I reached out and spanked it, hard.
She jerked, moaning loud. "Yes, baby... spank me."
So I did it again, and she yelled. A dark pink blossomed across her skin, and I loved it so much, I spanked her again. More yells, her face buried deep in the bed.
"Is this what you wanted, Bill?" I said roughly, panting as I fought to keep up. "You want me to punish you?"
"Yes," she groaned. "Punish me, daddy..."
I gripped her hips. So, it was daddy, now, was it? She wanted rougher, harder sex this time. She wanted to be hurt.
She was already hurting.
Leaning against her body, my other hand snaked forward and gathered her long hair up in a fist. As I fucked her, I pulled back, and she yelled. Her neck bent, and I could see her face, her mouth hanging open and her eyes rolled back.
"Touch yourself, baby," I commanded, and her hand flew to her clit. I needed one hand to keep her up by her hair, the other to keep punishing her ass with.
I spanked her again, harder this time, and she moaned and whimpered violently. "Daddy, I'm gonna come..."
I could see all her cues; her legs shook hard, her breath coming in deep pants.
"I know, baby, come for daddy," I commanded.
She did, falling apart beneath me as I pulled back hard on her hair, bucking violently against me as she did. She yelled, whimpered, then collapsed on the bed, jerking.
I eased out of her, not waiting for her to be less sensitive. She whimpered reproachfully. "Baby..."
I took the strap off and went into the bathroom to clean up.
When I came back she was under the duvet, rubbing her eyes, sleepy. I reached for my clothes on the floor, started getting dressed.
"You didn't...?"
I looked at her. "No."
"Why not?" She propped her head up on her hand.
"I don't know Bill. Weird grief and punishment sex just wasn't doing it for me."
Her eyes narrowed. "I just wanted to fuck."
I raised an eyebrow. "'Punish me daddy?'"
She laid down in a huff. "Thought you liked kink."
"I do. I like kink when we both wanna do kink, and there's not a hidden... agenda."
She shook her head, not responding.
"The movers are gonna be here anyways," I muttered.
I went to leave the room, and she sat up. "Please wait."
I paused at the door. "Yeah?"
"I love you," she whispered. "Sorry. I... feel a little weird, that's all."
I nodded, my throat tight. "Me too."
She nodded. "But... I'm glad you're here."
I softened, felt my shoulders slump. "Billie, I don't wanna be anywhere else in the world."
"Yeah?"
She looked so soft now in bed, her hair rumpled, her face a little puffy. In three strides I was across the room, sitting on the bed in front of her. I took her face in my hands and kissed her softly.
"Baby, you're my everything. Okay?"
She nodded in my hands. "You too."
I kissed her again, amazed at the softness of her puffy lips. I opened her mouth with my tongue, and hers came out to meet mine. The sweetest, healing kisses.
I pulled away slowly, stroking her soft cheeks. "I love you."
She pressed her forehead to mine.
"Love you, too... daddy."
The movers had the truck unloaded in less than an hour. I marveled at their efficiency.
I ran my hand over the heavy, old record player now tucked neatly in the corner of the living room, my shelves of records beside it. It gave me deep satisfaction and joy to have it here. It made me feel like I really lived in this beautiful house I didn't pay for.
Billie came up behind me, wrapped her arms around my stomach, rested her chin on my shoulder.
"What're we listening to?" I could hear the smile in her voice.
"I don't know, yet. Seems like a pretty monumental choice to make. The first record in our home together..."
She giggled and kissed my neck. "Very important."
"Pick one," I murmured.
She moved to the shelves, started flipping through. After a moment, she paused, her face contorting a little, her hand frozen on a record.
I knew exactly what she'd found. She took a deep breath, said, "Maybe not that one."
Clairo.
I gripped her shoulder as she kept flipping. Finally she pulled one out.
"This one."
She handed me a beat up copy of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club. I smiled as I took it from her, smoothing my hand over the cover.
"My dad's," I whispered.
She squeezed my arm, then leaned in and kissed me. "Then it's even more perfect than I thought."
I nodded and put it on. The Beatles started their drug induced musical ramblings, and Billie kissed me. "Still can't believe you're really here..."
We spent that night drinking and unpacking. I got most of my clothing put away, glass of wine in hand, while Billie mostly got in the way.
She held up a y2k denim mini skirt. "Umm, why?"
I shrugged. "I don't know... In case?"
"In case what, you stop being you?"
I laughed. She was right. I hadn't worn a skirt in a long time. "You wear it then."
She studied it. "Yeah, okay."
She got up from the pile of my clothes on our bedroom floor, and stripped off her clothes. She gave a rude little bow when she caught me eyeing her body appreciatively. She smirked, then pulled the skirt on. It fit close to her body, accentuating her perfect ass.
She dug around through my shirts until she found a plain, black tee, 3 sizes too big for her. She threw it on over the skirt, adjusting it. Then she slipped into a pair of nearby Jordan's.
She held her hands up. "See?"
I shook my head, slightly appalled. "Why doesn't it work when I do that?"
She shrugged. "Because you have gender dysphoria and you're allergic to skirts?"
I gave her the finger and she laughed.
"I wish you would wear a dress every once in a while... just for fucking purposes." She bit her lip, eyeing me, and I remembered the teacher outfit.
"I will wear anything you want me to wear in private, baby."
"Anything?" She smirked.
"Shit, no, I didn't say that," I laughed. "Don't get any ideas."
Her smile widened. She definitely had ideas.
"Outfits," she said sweetly. "You know I love outfits."
I shook my head, opening a big box full of shoes. One glance inside told me it was all different pairs of Doc Martens. I carried it into the walk in closet and dumped it out. I looked around. The shelves were completely filled with various sneakers. "Baby, we need a new house or you need to donate some shoes."
She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me. "Never," she breathed in my ear.
I shivered. Her body was pressed close to me, her hands wandering. "Bill... how am I gonna get anything done?"
"Oh, we can get some shit done, baby. Right here on the floor..."
My head fell back on her shoulder as she bit at my neck. "Bill... we can't fuck on the floor because that's where my shoes live..."
"Mmm, what if we did the teacher thing again? But you wore something else... bet I have something."
"Are you obsessed with the teacher fantasy because you were homeschooled?" I chuckled as she bit my shoulder. "Because those of us that went to public high school know it wasn't that hot. Or... hot at all."
"That's okay, it can be hot in my head."
"True," I grinned, turning to kiss her. "Mmm, how about we play the game where you work at the mall, and you have to clear out old inventory so that I can bring the new stuff in."
I pointed down at my shoes.
She stared at me. "I don't like that game, it isn't sexy."
"No, but you're like the cute employee who like hates their job... and I'm the, uh, hot... truck driver..."
She kissed me. "Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself."
But she sighed and started a donate pile.
I fell into our bed that night, exhausted and a little tipsy. I watched as Billie took off her rings, her chains, and her shorts. She stretched.
"This is so domestic I could puke," I said happily.
She laughed. "It feels nice."
She tipped back the last of her white wine and shook her head. "I fucking hate wine. Why are we drinking wine?"
"Because you have nothing else," I chuckled. "We need a little bar set up, for when people come over."
"More domestic shit," she muttered, climbing in beside me. "So are you gonna roll away from me and say you have a headache?"
I laughed out loud. "Depends what you're offering. If it's mediocre straight sex, then why yes, I do feel a little ill this evening."
She climbed on top of me and kissed me. "And if it's raunchy lesbian sex...?"
"Then I'm in," I grinned, then leaned to bite her lower lip. She sighed, turning my bite into a deep kiss, gripping my face in her hands. Her energy was dark again, rough, hungry; this time it sent a thrill down my spine. "Am I bottom tonight, Bill?"
"If you want," she breathed, grinding her hips down on top of me. "Do you want me to fuck you, baby?"
I whimpered, yes. I felt tired and weak, and the idea of her taking over and controlling me sent shivers all over my body.
"Okay, baby, I'll fuck you. I'll take care of you, sweetheart. Strip."
She pulled her shirt over her head as she climbed off the bed, heading to find the strap. I stripped down while she shuffled through the dresser. "You want the monster?" She chuckled.
I bit my lip. "I probably deserve it, huh?"
"Yes you do," she glowered at me. "But not tonight."
She got the next biggest one we owned and fit it into the harness, then came back to bed. My body quaked in anticipation.
She climbed on me again, situating herself so the tip of the dildo was between my legs. "You're really leaning into the bottom thing, huh? Flat on your back?"
I stretched leisurely. "Yep. Fuck me, daddy."
"Okay, baby," she groaned, pressing the dick slowly into me. I moaned, my back arching off the bed.
She eased it all the way in while I panted, hard, clutching her shoulders. I needed a minute to get used to the feeling of being completely filled up. "Baby, wait."
"You didn't wait for me before," Billie growled in my ear, and I involuntarily bucked against her, breathing sharply as I did. She chuckled. "You had that coming."
I moaned and whimpered, and she started slowly thrusting. I gripped her back as she did, and her mouth went to my throat, the curve of my neck. She moaned as I wrapped my legs around her back.
"Baby," she groaned in my ear. "Your body..."
I knew what she meant. We were pressed tight, our limbs locked together. Her skin felt incredible sliding against mine. I cried out as she picked up her pace.
"Baby, no... go slow." I held her face, kissing her. "I want it to keep going..."
She smiled against my lips and slowed down.
Now I could feel each thrust. She made noises with each one, her hands never ceasing their movement across my body.
"I love you, Billie," I whispered in her ear as she fucked me. "I love you so much, baby..."
She sighed, kissed me deeply, and thrusted faster. This time I knew why; she was close.
I wound my hands into her hair, sucked at her neck, licked her ear. "Fuck me hard, daddy. Make me come..."
She groaned, and my whole body started to tingle. The base of the strap hit my clit with each thrust. I moved my hands down her body to grip her ass, then pulled it towards me. The dick sank all the way in me, and I groaned, still gripping her.
"Grind, baby," I moaned in her ear.
She ground her hips into me and the pleasure hit me so hard my toes curled. I was frozen, even though her movements were minimal. I stopped making noise, and my eyes rolled up in my head.
"Mmm, is that good, baby?" Billie bit at my ear.
The pressure in my stomach was growing, and I still couldn't move or make a noise. It's like she'd hit a nerve that immobilized my whole body with pleasure.
"Come, baby," Billie grunted as her own body crumpled with pleasure.
I did, seeing stars, my whole body erupting with tingles and wave after wave of pure pleasure as she continued to rub against that sweet spot.
She collapsed on top of me, breathing hard. I lay still, my hands still gripping her ass.
"Okay baby?" She muttered in my ear.
I whimpered in response, and she laughed. Then she pushed herself up and began easing the strap out of me while I groaned.
She stood up, finding herself... wet. "I'm gonna shower," she laughed.
"Okay," I murmured, snuggling down into the blankets. "I'll be there in a minute."
Bill pecked me once, and headed into the bathroom.
I laid still for a bit, enjoying the deep exhaustion in my limbs, stretching and rolling around a bit.
And then my phone rang. It was after midnight. Who could be calling me?
I picked it up off the nightstand. It was Claire.
My hand shook. I glanced at the open bathroom door where Billie was rapping in the shower. I hesitated, staring at Claire's picture on my screen. What if she needed me?
I answered. "Claire?"
"You shouldn't have called me before," she said, her voice thick with tears and anger, and what sounded like alcohol.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Are you okay?"
"No! Because you fuckin' called me, Lucy!"
"I'm sorry," I all but whispered. "You're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha—"
"Do you miss me?"
I bit my lip so hard it hurt. "Claire..."
"I love you. I'm in love with you, Lucy. I miss you so much my chest hasn't stopped hurting since I left the airport."
I took a deep breath, my own chest aching.
"Don't say anything," her voice shook and I could tell she was crying again. "Tell Billie I love her, too. Or don't tell her we spoke, I don't care."
Billie walked in the room, drying off from the shower. She saw my face, saw the phone pressed to it, and her smile fell.
"Claire..." I choked out. "Are you gonna be okay?"
Claire sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. "Yeah. No. I don't know. I just miss you so much I can't... do anything..."
Billie sat on the bed beside me. She touched my arm, her hand radiating comfort through my whole body. I smiled weakly at her.
"Claire, I know you don't wanna talk like this, but... if you need us... we're here. Okay?"
She cleared her throat. "Okay."
She hung up abruptly, and I let the tears fall while Billie pulled me into her arms.