3 months later...
I walked to Kinsley's door, my hand hovering over the doorknob and as I turned the doorknob slowly, the hinges let out a soft creak. When I peered into Kinsley's room, I saw her sitting on the floor, next to the play house, completely absorbed in her play. Kinsley's eyes were bright with concentration as she moved the tiny furniture around. She carefully placed a miniature bed in the center of the room, then added a tiny pillow and blanket. Next, she picked a doll with curly brown hair and dressed her in a pink nightgown before placing her in the bed. As she worked, Kinsley hummed a tune under her breath, lost in her own little world.
She signed to herself: "Time to wake up!"
She moved the doll down the stairs into the kitchen: "Eat pancake time!"
I smiled as I stood in the doorway, watching Kinsley play for several minutes. Then Kinsley looked up, her eyes bright with excitement as she saw me standing in the doorway. She sets down her dolls and ran toward me.
Her arms flung open, and she jumped up: "Mama!"
I hugged her back tightly: "You ready to go?"
She nodded excitedly, bouncing up and down with excitement: "I got my coat and my shoes!"
Hand in hand, we made our way out of her bedroom toward the front door. Jay scooped her up into his arms, carrying her to the car. The snow crunching underneath our feet. As Jay buckled Kinsley into her carseat, he turned around and smiled at me.
I jumped up and down, my voice filled with giddy enthusiasm: "We're going to hear the baby's heartbeat!"
Jay's eyes sparkled with excitement. His arms encircled me, lifting me off the ground, and we twirled around in a moment of pure happiness before he gently set me back down. We both got in the car and drove to the hospital. I placed my hand on my noticeable bump.
As I scrolled through my baby app, I gasped: "Jay, the baby is a size of a bell pepper!"
Jay laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement: "A bell pepper? That's an odd choice to compare the baby's size to"
We stepped out of the car, the chilly winter air nipping at our cheeks. Kinsley held my hand tightly, her small fingers intertwined with mine, as we made our way inside. Her eyes widen with wonder as we walked through the halls. We found a seat in the corner of the waiting room, where Kinsley sat beside me, giggling with excitement. Jay approached the reception desk and signed me in, providing the necessary paperwork. As we waited, Kinsley leaned against me, her head resting on my shoulder. A few minutes later, my doctor motioned us to the examination room. She greeted us warmly and began checking my vitals. Then she asked for a urine sample which I ran to the bathroom and did. With a smile, my doctor moved on to the ultrasound machine, preparing to perform the ultrasound. I rolled my shirt up while she warns me how the gel would be cold before putting it on my growing bump. Kinsley sat on Jay's lap, leaning toward me.
As the screen came to life, displaying the grainy black-and-white images of our unborn baby, a wave of emotion washed over me. I started to tear up
Kinsley's smile grew bigger as she watched the screen, her small hand reaching out to touch my belly: "Mama! Is that the baby?"
I nodded, trying to contain my tears. I could see the head and the baby's legs moving in the fluid-filled sac.
As the ultrasound continued, my doctor pointed out different features of the baby, explaining what we were seeing on the screen. Kinsley listened carefully, her eyes wide with fascination. Jay's hand rested on my shoulder, a silent gesture of support.
Dr: "Do you want to know the gender of your baby?"
I turned to Jay before shaking my head: "No, not right now. Jay and I talked about it and we want it to be a surprise."
Dr: "Okay, that's awesome! Are you ready to hear the baby's heartbeat?"
Kinsley bounced from Jay's lap: "Yes!"
The doctor laughed: "Look like your little one is very excited"
By the time it gets to the fetal doppler, I could feel the sinking feeling in my stomach. I lightly squeezed Jay's hand. As the probe was placed onto my stomach, we were immediately met with static noises. Time seemed to slow down as the doctor moved the probe around my lower stomach. The doctor was focused, trying to find what she was looking for. As time went on, my heart began pounding in my chest, worrying that it will be picked up on the doppler. More static fills the room and I could sense the doctor beginning to become frustrated from hearing the same noise repeatedly. Jay's hand intertwined with mine, his thumb gently stroking the back of my hand.
Kinsley's voice broke through the tension in the room: "Daddy, what's wrong?"
Jay tries to keep his voice' stead: "Nothing's wrong, sweetheart. We're just trying to hear the baby's heartbeat."
Kinsley's eyes widened with understanding, and she nodded, settling back into Jay's lap.
After what felt like hours has past, a faint but steady thumping sound emerged from the doppler. Relief washed over me, and tears of joy streamed down my face. I let out the breath I been holding and turns over to Jay. He leaned toward me, still holding Kinsley in his arm. He gives me a kiss on my forehead and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of the heartbeat. It was a steady, rhythmic sound, like the beating of a tiny drum
Jay whispered, his voice filled with emotion: "There it is"
Kinsley looked up at me, her eyes shining with excitement: "Mama!"
The doctor smiled, her eyes filled with warmth. "That's a strong heartbeat. Everything looks good"
We sat there, surrounded by the sound of our baby's heartbeat. After the appointment, we walked back to the truck while Jay and I swung Kinsley in our hands. As we settled into the car, Kinsley's excitement bubbled over, filling the space with her infectious energy. She sat in the carseat, her eyes sparkling with excitement, as she eagerly began sharing her thoughts and dreams about the baby. She spoke about having tea parties, teddy bear picnics, and secret hideouts. Everything we have done with Kinsley in the past three months.
Jay: "Hey Kinsley, do you want to go to the park?"
Kinsley threw her hands up in excitement: "YES!"
As we drove to the park, Kinsley's excitement grew. When we arrived, she ran straight to the playground, giggling with delight as she soared through the air. Jay and I sat on a nearby bench, watching her play.
Jay squeezed my hand as he looked at me: "Hey, you excited?"
I smiled: "Yeah"
Jay leaned closer to me, our nose touching before his lips met mine: "I love you Hails"
I broke away: "I love you too Jay"
Jay leaned back into the bench, his eyes fixed on mine: "You know, you will be an amazing mom to this baby. I mean, you are already doing amazing with Kinsley"
I sighed happily: "Thank you Jay. You know the adoption hearing is coming up soon- In just a few weeks"
Jay's hand found mine once again, his thumb gently stroking the back of my hand: "Whatever happens, we will face it together"
In that moment, surrounded by the love of my family, I knew that everything would be okay. I leaned back onto the bench as Jay gets up, chasing after Kinsley. She laughs as she tries to run from Jay.
Kinsley shrieked in happiness, her eyes shining with mischief: "You will never get me!"
I watched as they ran around the playground, eventually Jay caught her, lifting her into the air and spinning her around.
Jay: "I got you!"
As Jay set Kinsley down, she sprinted to the swing. Jay followed her, helping her sit on the swing. He pushed her gently, his eyes fixed on her as Kinsley's smile grew bigger with each push
I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the sun warmth on my face. The gentle breeze carried the sound of children playing and birds singing. I imagined Jay with a new baby in his arm, with Kinsley peeking over his shoulder. As I opened my eyes, I saw Jay and Kinsley running towards me, their faces filled with joy and excitement.
Kinsley launched herself into my arms, her small body filled with energy: "Mama, did you see me?"
"I saw you! That was amazing!"
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A few hours later...
After dinner, we all sat down to watch Kinsley's favorite Disney movie, Cinderella. Although, it changes every months, last month it was Frozen. Kinsley's eyes were glued to the TV, and every once a while her laughter would filled the room during the funny scenes. Each giggle was like music to my ears and it made my heart melt. Jay sat next to me, his arm around my shoulder while I laid my head on his chest.
Kinsley turns to me, laughing: "The mice are funny!"
After the movie ended, Jay lifted Kinsley into the air, making her giggles.
Jay playfully placed his finger on Kinsley's nose: "Boop! You ready for bed?"
Kinsley giggles while her nose scrunched up: "Yeah!"
Jay carried Kinsley to her bedroom, her small arms wrapped around his neck. I watched them disappear down the hallway, a smile playing on my lips. A few minutes later, I could hear Jay reading a story to her. The noises began to drown out and a sense of weariness settled over me as my eyelids grew heavy. And before I knew it, I could feel arms going underneath my neck and my knee. I was carried to a cozy bed, and a soft blanket was pulled over me. Then I felt a kiss on my cheek.
*Author's note: UHM.. I THINK this is one of my favorite chapter I have written in this book!! LIKE SERIOUSLY.. KINSLEY! SHE'S SO CUTE! UPSTEAD TOO! And, I'm sorry. You will have to wait to learn about the gender of the baby :)