Jennie's POV
I stand before everyone with the bible in front of me and caressed the word from its paper. My heart felt full, and my body felt shivers as words utter from my mouth.
"The first reading," I said and bowed to everyone.
"2 Cor 3:15-4:1, 3-6", I look at everyone with full sincerity as I share the word of our saviour.
"Brothers and sisters," I gulped down the saliva that was stuck in my throat and inhaled silently to overcome my nervousness. Then my gaze went to my parents, encouraging me to go on.
They both look at me with those proud eyes. The way they stare glimers with all affection and pride. It was understandable because never in my life I ever did make them disappointed of me.
"To this day, whenever Moses is read,
a veil lies over the hearts of the children of Israel,
but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is removed.
Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is,
there is freedom.
All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord,
are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory,
as from the Lord who is the Spirit. "I stop and look at everyone again. I caressed the word with all gentleness before I continued, but then I felt like someone was looking to me, penetrating my soul in such gazes that somehow I felt scared and vulnerable.
I looked up and found someone unfamiliar. She was with Mrs. And Mr. Manoban a well-known rich couple in Busan. She was seated in the middle of them, she was posh and expensive even with a tattoo on her left arm and a black earring on her right ear.
I gasped silently when her dark eyes met mine it felt like she's looking through me, wanting to know what's inside my mind and her lips that looks so red and pouty smirked and her aura felt like it screams sin and desire for 'something'.
My knees start to weaken, and I unconsciously grip the lecture table for support.
I looked away and sighed deeply, trying to calm myself self before I continued.
"Therefore, since we have this ministry through the mercy shown us,
we are not discouraged.
And even though our Gospel is veiled,
it is veiled for those who are perishing,
in whose case the god of this age
has blinded the minds of the unbelievers,
so that they may not see the light of the Gospel
of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
For we do not preach ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord,
and ourselves as your slaves for the sake of Jesus.
For God, who said, let light shine out of darkness,
has shone in our hearts to bring to light
the knowledge of the glory of God
on the face of Jesus Christ. " I managed to read with all sincerity and passion. That I felt my heart bursting because the LORD has given me strength to finish it even with my nervousness that's taking over my body.
This was the second time happened, the first was when it was my first lecture in a holy mass, and that time was understandable but now, there is no reason to get nervous and scared at all.
Every time I gave lectures to people, there was this something in my heart that was calm and tamed by all of my emotions. However, today was different. And my mind keeps pointing to the woman that was sited in between the old well-known rich couple in our place.
I stared at her again, but my heart sank when I saw her already gone. I tried to move my neck, looking for her
"Ehem." I looked at the priest, and he gestured his hand for me to continue. I realised that I was still not done, and I'm still in front of a hundred people waiting for me to finish my lecture.
I felt embarrassed and bowed down at everyone before I timidly smiled.
"The word of the Lord, and all reply, Thanks be to God." I continued after I cleared my throat.
"Thanks to be God," they replied, and that's my cue to bow again before I went down the stage and sat on my designated seat.
My heart becomes chaotic the moment I sit down. I hold my chest with my hand, trying to calm it down while I gently bit my lips.
"Are you okay?"I heard Irene ask and hold my shoulder, looking all worried at me.
I smiled at her and nodded my head.
"I'm okay, just feeling a little under the weather," I replied.
Irene nodded her head and walked towards the platform and did her duty as a cantor.
I sat down properly, adjusted to my seats, and inhaled deeply. I'm trying to focus myself on Irene's part. Taking the word of the LORD in my heart, I hope it will calm me down.
"Responsorial Psalm 85:9 and 10, 11-12, 13-14. The glory of the Lord will dwell in our land. I will hear what God proclaims; the LORD-for he proclaims peace to his people.Near indeed is his salvation to those who fear him, glory dwelling in our land."
"All replies that the glory of the Lord will dwell in our land."
"The Glory of the Lord will dwell in our land," we all replied.
----
"Jennie, are you alright?"My dad said hastily while he held my hand. While my mother went to my side, rubbing my back while they all looked worried for me.
The mass is done, and it's time for them to go, while I'll be staying for a little longer to help with the free meals for every child that wanted to eat.
I smiled at both my parents.
"I'm alright, something just weird happened to me," I said, which made both of them look at each other.
"Maybe it was a calling Jennie," the priest interrupted and went to us.
We all bowed down at him, and he smiled and bowed his head also.
"It could be father because ever since our child always wanted to be a nun, to serve the LORD in all its wisdom and glory," my mother said to him.
It was not a surprise for him, and he smiled proudly at me.
"We as the servant of the God is special Jennie. Our calling is one of strength to be away from all of this sins and desire that every human being have, "he said at me, and I could only nod my head, agreeing to everything.
"Of course father", I replied
My dad laughs proudly while he stares at me. His eyes scream adoration for everything I do.
"You see, I'm very proud of her father because she's not like every other teenager. When I go to Seoul for meetings and event I always felt sad to all the young people that has not been able to know the wisdom and true power of our God", my dad said all concern to what he witnessed in Seoul.
I've have been in Seoul, and I can say their place are exciting. It was loud and eventful. All the people have their own rules in their life. They are free and liberated just like everyone else.
"They just didn't have someone to guide them and that's a very sad reality because they are less and less people who wanted to serve him", he said and pointed the sky and sighed worriedly.
They kept talking about all the virtues of our saviour, and I was just standing and looking around at everything, and a hope to find that someone I saw in my lecture.
"Good morning," I flinched when we heard someone talk, and we all bowed down when we realised it was the old couple.
"Mr and Mrs Manoban," my dad greeted
I immediately look behind them,trying to find the woman I saw earlier, but I felt disappointed when I found nothing. So I just smile timidly, greeting them with respect.
"Are you alright, dear? You seem tense earlier, " Mrs Manoban said worriedly.
I just bowed down and smiled at her.
"I'm fine," I replied and excused myself to leave, which I reason that I already needed to help in giving children free food.
They all nodded and agreed.
I sighed when I was far away from them. Shaking my head as I felt all the emotional pressure taking my whole system.
I wanted this.
I already accepted my destiny.
--
"Enjoy your meal," I said to one of the kids as I gave them their food. He smiled and hugged my waist, which made my heart melted and tapped his head.
"Thank you," he said and walked off with a big smile on his face, feeling all happy with what he had.
I've never been experienced as deprived of everything. I have food, shelter and money. And the love I got for my parents and especially I was opened and have a beautiful relationship with our Lord and I could never ask for more.
Life is good for me.
"Jennie, can you go and get more cups? We are running out," Irene said while she's busy putting food on the children's plate.
I smiled and nodded at her even though she couldn't see me before I walked towards the kitchen.
I was looking all over the place, and I can't seem to find these cups, and I'm starting to grow impatient thinking that they are already waiting for me, and they all badly needing it.
"Finally," I said when I looked to one of the cabinets, but my hope was shattered again when I couldn't reach it.
I keep grunting and have already tried tiptoeing to reach the cups, but I can't still hold it and was about to leave, but then someone came closer to me and reached the cups by herself.
I turned around and looked up the person who made my heart beat quicken abnormally. Her jawline was sharp as a knife was displayed through my vision while her pouty lips were so close to me. Then there's this feeling in my stomach that was flatterin and aggressively getting wild.
"Here," she said, so close, her mentol-like breathed brushed against my face, which made me shiver, and goosebumps travel through my skin.
---
I'm feeling scared writing this tbh 🙏.