~•~
~•~
"You're a coward."
"I'm sorry." I begged, grasping his shirt tightly within my fingers. "I had no other choice."
"Everyone has a choice." He said, all emotion sinking from his face as he roughly pried my hands from his shirt. "And you made yours."
I shot up abruptly, effectively snapping myself out of the horrid dream I've had every day for the past six months. As usual I found myself sweating from head to toe, trembling with the aftershock of such a grueling nightmare. Through my distress, I saw Lance take notice of me out of the corner of my eye.
"Same one?" He asked quietly after a few moments of allowing me to collect myself. I nodded wordlessly, my throat bound with anxiety.
I heard him stand from his post beside the campfire, making his way over to offer his comfort, something I desperately needed at the moment. His arms wrapped themselves around me tightly, acting as an anchor that grounded me from my endless spiraling. I shut my eyes, letting out a shaky breath as I allowed myself to be held.
"Thank you." Was all I could choke out as I grasped the material of his sweater tightly.
His only response was a brotherly kiss to my head, the familiar gesture easing the strain in my chest even if only slightly. His hand ran up and down my back in a soothing rhythm, allowing my muscles to slowly fall from their tense hold. As I began to drift, I felt my tears come to a slow stop.
One more breath of release escaped my chest as I felt Lance move me from his embrace, gently lying me back against Tyler's wolf. The familiar warmth and the soft cushion of his coat made me sigh in content, my mind shutting down as I finally released Lance from my death grip.
As I fell back into deep slumber, my last thought was the simple hope that this time my mind would bring me dreams of vibrance and lightheartedness. Something that opposed the literal and figurative nightmare I lived everyday.
If I took every hit this life had to offer with no complaint, could I not at least have peace in the darkness?
~
Hands.
The second I felt a pair of hands touch me abruptly, my fist shot out on instinct, having been fresh in the middle of another nightmare. The assailant was agile enough to dodge my attack, though suddenly another pair of hands gently grabbed me from behind to contain my blows.
"Damnit- Gray!" A familiar voice called.
I stopped thrashing against my captors hold, suddenly noticing that Johnny was stood before me, eyes fighting to catch mine as he called my name. I looked at him in confusion, suddenly realizing that I was surrounded by a familiar scent.
"It's okay, Gray." Tyler's voice was heard from above me, his hold on me loosening only slightly. "You're okay."
"S-Sorry." I choked out, my throat dry as I tried to pull myself back into reality. "I'm sorry. I did it again."
"Don't worry about it." Johnny chuckled, defensive stance falling into one of ease. "Just glad I was the one who drew the short straw. Lance would've got knocked out."
"Would not!" I heard Lance protest from behind me, the reminder of their presence effectively numbing out the bitter aftertaste of my awakening. "I have the instincts of a warrior. She couldn't touch me if she tried."
I tapped Tyler's arm to signal that I was alright, his hold on me falling softly. "You sure you're alright?" He asked, looking down at me worriedly.
"I am." I gave him a small shaky smile to prove I was steady.
He nodded, analyzing me for only a few seconds longer before turning back to our campfire. "Come eat. Breakfast is ready."
I grabbed my blanket, wrapping it over my shoulders as I followed after him. Being half beast meant having a large appetite and at the moment I was so hungry I could eat an entire deer. Eating is always the perfect remedy after a bad start to the day.
"Morning, Gray." Lance ruffled my hair as he sat beside me, making me huff and punch his arm out of irritation before fixing my unruly bedhead.
"Morning, Dumbo." I replied, calling him by a nickname he'd gotten for the notoriously big ears his wolf had. Of course in reality they weren't really so, at least not as much as we make fun, but it was an inside joke between the five of us and it stuck.
"What's this I hear about straws?" I quirked an eyebrow as we all finally arrived at our makeshift breakfast table.
"Damnit, Johnny." Lance shook his head. "I always knew it'd be you."
"It's not my fault, she almost killed me."
"The jigs up." Tyler confessed. "It was Lance's idea."
"Was not!"
"It was." Johnny coughed.
"It was." Jordan nodded quickly after, then taking a generous bite of his apple.
The four boys suddenly burst into a flurry of arguments, each accusing and not accusing each other. I couldn't understand a single thing they were saying nor did I care much to this extent. I sighed, taking a bite of my own apple as I rolled my eyes in exasperation.
"Hey!" I interrupted, the arguing coming to an abrupt end as they looked at me. "I'm trying to eat my breakfast in peace over here."
"Sorry, Gray." They muttered, going back to eating their breakfasts.
I smirked inwardly, taking another bite of my apple. I couldn't help but be slightly proud that I had the four of them wrapped around my pinkie the way I do.
"Anyways." I began, changing the subject. "We need to get rest tonight. We're heading towards town early tomorrow morning. We need to be extra careful. It's the East Woodland pack and you know how they get."
"Usual plan?" Johnny asked, taking a piece of rabbit from my plate, making me roll my eyes.
"Yes." I replied. "Unless anyone wants to switch?"
Nobody protested, making me nod in satisfaction. Tyler looked over to me with question in his eyes. "You going to continue searching tomorrow?"
"Yup." I said with a pop. "Hoping she's somewhere in town."
"Good luck." Lance wished, making me smile.
"Thanks." I said earnestly.
"What's on the agenda for today?" Johnny asked, already looking like he wanted to take a nap.
"Training." Tyler replied, earning a chorus of groans in return.
"Do we have to?" Lance cried, falling backwards dramatically.
"Yes, we do." Tyler rolled his eyes. "Especially since we'll all be splitting up tomorrow."
Before Tyler departed from his old pack, he was a high ranking member of the pack warriors, having come from a long line of Chiefs and soldiers. Since we'd met he taught the four of us how to fight in both our human and Lycan form. We train whenever we have ample free time and spar to keep our skills sharp. Though it was a pain in the ass at times, I honestly doubt we would've survived this long without him and his extensive ways.
"My arm hurts." Johnny feigned horribly. "I don't think I can train today."
"Don't even try it." Tyler shook his head, as usual not accepting any excuse, though Johnny's was clearly bogus.
I began gathering all of our trash, allowing the boys to continue fighting their case against training today. This always happened every time Tyler threw training onto us and I wasn't surprised to hear even Jordan trying to lie his way out of it. As I began putting our leftovers in some easily transportable packaging, I tuned in to hear them finally come to a compromise.
"We can swim in the lake after training. As long as you guys catch more fish. 10 each." Tyler crossed his arms, dead serious.
"Yeah, right." Lance rolled his eyes. "Like Jordan could do that."
"Yeah, I don't think I'm capable of murder to that degree." Jordan raised his hands in surrender.
"I'll catch his 10." Lance set his hands playfully on Jordan's shoulders. "To the rescue, as usual."
"You sure didn't rescue his squirrel." Johnny snickered.
"Don't bring that up." I hissed at Johnny as Jordan's eyes widened in terror at the reminder of the unfortunate incident. I shoved Lance away from him, taking Jordan into my embrace.
"Anyway." Tyler shook his head. "Deal or no deal?"
"Deal!"
~
Jordan ran up to me, whipping his head around wildly to drench me with the water that soaked his hair. I squealed in surprised, getting hit with a bunch of cold drops of water as Lance and Johnny joined in on the fun.
"You idiots, I just dried these clothes!" I shouted, the wind now washing against the sprinkles of water they'd bestowed upon me.
Lance only mimicked me in reply, not caring for the finger I had raised at him. I grabbed my drying towel, using it to dab the moisture from my skin. "I'll get you dimwits back for that." I cursed.
As promised, we spent most of the day training, only heading down the mountain once the sun finally set and it was the perfect time to swim. We had a blast catching fish and soaking in the light of the moon. Tyler only allowed us an hour or two of swimming, wanting us to save our energy for our quest tomorrow when the boys go into town for a supply run.
We'd just gotten back from the lake all freshly clean and changed into dry clothes. Our wet clothes were now hung on clotheslines, no doubt to be dry by morning.
"You guys get some sleep." I said, sitting at the post beside the campfire. "I'll take first watch."
"Sounds good to me." Tyler yawned, immediately parting to walk behind a nearby tree, most likely to shift into his wolf.
Jordan curled up beside me on the log I occupied, resting his head on my lap with a book in hand. Johnny lay a few feet beside us, his head resting on his favorite pillow as he lie sprawled out already beginning to snore loudly.
Lance lie passed out atop the comfort of the forest floor, no blanket nor pillow as usual. He always called it being one with Mother Nature. Him and Tyler occupied the space a few feet from our campfire, beneath a couple of nearby trees. They're not so silent snores made me smile softly, glad to see everyone I loved resting at peace.
I ran my hand through Jordan's hair, who'd passed out with his book now lain on his chest, sighing in content as I studied his young features.
Jordan has yet to shift, which was typical for someone around his age. He was only 15 years old, while most wolves shift at around 16 or 17. The pack he had recently been in were attacked and slaughtered by hunters. They had poisoned the Alpha by giving him Gralin, which was only the beginning of the rest of such a tragic story.
The Luna was lost without her mate, so she died off while watching him drive himself crazy. The rest of the pack, vulnerable to the hunters after the fall of their Alpha and Luna, were taken over and most were killed by the ruthless creatures. They had kept a selective few alive, one of them including Jordan, though the rest of his family were taken in the slaughter. The hunters had killed them right in front of his eyes. He was only 13.
Jordan ran off after that, stumbling into me and the boys along the way. We had a rough beginning, but we've gotten to know each other like siblings after meeting 2 years ago.
He reminded me a lot of myself. I had escaped from my old pack land, since mine was overtaken and slaughtered under different circumstances. Both Lance and Tyler had found me in the forest, hiding in the hollow trunk of a tree with a big, bloody gash that started from below my left breast to the bottom of my right hip. They cared for me while I was injured for those two weeks, and ever since then, we had been joined at the hip.
Lance became a rogue because his Alpha kicked him and his family out of the pack. His parents had been kicked out when they were caught stealing some food from the pack's inventory. Apparently, the Alpha was a real asshole to his pack, and he hardly gave them any food since, in his eyes, everything was about order and rules. He gave them curfews, a portion of food that was enough to only fulfill half a Lycan's hunger, and lashed out on anyone for anything and everything.
The anger was a side effect of not having a mate, which was only slightly understandable. He was already 40 and was yet to find the Luna for his pack, so his irritability was inevitable. But still, that's no excuse for being a grade-A asshole.
Lance and his parents were rogues for about a year and a half before his parents were killed off by a couple of rabid rogues. He ran before they could get him, escaping with a long scratch on his face that left a pale white scar, differentiating from his tan skin. It started from the left of his temple and ended below his right eye. He kept his hair slightly long so it covered some of the scar, but I told him to embrace it. It does make him look pretty badass. I mean, seriously, he's a 19-year-old teenager with a cool ass scar, if that's not badass I don't know what is.
Apparently, Lance met Tyler when they both ran into each other while fighting for the last bag of chips at a grocery store, which they both intended to steal. They had become friends not long before they had found me.
Tyler had become a rogue because, in his former pack, he had found his mate who had ended up rejecting him. He couldn't take the pain, so he left without a word, leaving nothing but a letter behind. As the lovelorn 18-year-old boy he was, he had felt the pain all too much. But now 2 years later, he stands tall at only 20 years old, acting as an older brother to all of us. It was the three of us for a while, that was until we met Jordan. And not long after came Johnny.
Johnny had run from his pack because his father was forcing him to take the alpha title, which led to absolute chaos. He's only 18, and before he left, his Dad expected him to take the title at only 16 years old. Apparently, Johnny's Mom was killed at his ceremony by a pack member gone rogue. He had fled, unable to withstand the pain as he made the blame his own. She had died shielding his body with hers. So, he left and found us.
They're the best brothers I could ever have.
I love them with every ounce in me and I'd do anything to keep them safe. They've been there with me since the beginning, and we've stuck by each other despite the countless fights and arguments. We've faced endless challenges together that have bonded us in ways deeper than I could imagine.
They're my family.
The only family I have left.