What keeps me from running head first into this with Charles, is because I can't sleep. It makes me lie there, thinking. I want to, but It's not like we know what we're doing. We're not going to be here forever. I have my dancing and he has his racing. As soon as we get back home, our schedules will be packed again. We don't know what to do with the media or fans if this were to become something. He just broke up with Lucie and the fans don't even know yet, so chances are they're going to hate me if I get close to him. We don't know how to eventually tell people. I barely get to spend time with him alone. We need to be enjoying each other's company and trying to work some feelings out. We need to be able to actually be with each other.
God, if I met someone in Sweden, I wouldn't even have to hesitate, no one would ever question it. They wouldn't ask how I'm supposed to hide it or how I plan on dealing with people sharing their opinions all over the internet. But here I am and somehow I need to just accept that these are the things I need to plan before choosing whether or not to go for it with Charles. It comes with being with him.
I can't choose to only be with Charles as the guy I grew up with and know in and out. Because Charles Leclerc, F1 driver, drives on TV for 9-10 months out of a year, comes along as a package deal. I need to consider whether or not the one is worth the other.
Lorenzo came to Alassio the morning of the babyshower. He greeted us all as he arrived during breakfast. He was good friends with Pierre's brothers since they're all a bit older than the rest of us, so he was quickly engulfed in talking to the brothers.
"In che squadra sei?" What team are you on? Charles asks me during breakfast. I shrug and then I think about it for a bit. I know Paul's wife wants a girl, but there's only one nephew so far, so I think the brothers want a boy. The mother wants a girl though, so...
"Ragazza, la madre vuole una ragazza," Girl, the mother wants a girl, I say before drinking from my glass of peach juice. Charles just nods without another word, so I finish my glass and bring my dishes back into the kitchen before going to get ready.
I finish my makeup in the small bathroom connected to my room and go out to find something to wear. Choosing a pink plaid minidress. I grab a cropped, pink cardigan and wear it over my shoulders. When I come back out, there are blue and pink balloons everywhere and there's a big table with a cake and cupcakes alternating between the two colors. I see Paul and Charlotte, his wife, dressed in different colors. She's in a long pink dress and he is wearing a blue shirt with his light pants.
Arthur is dressed in blue along with Pierre and Evie, who I guess was forced by Pierre. Charles is standing by Evie and Pierre. He's in a light pink, short-sleeved button down shirt with the top few buttons undone paired with some khaki shorts. Dear god. Pull yourself together, Céline.
I walk over to the table to grab a cupcake before heading over to the three of them. They're arguing about the baby. Evie uses myths like whether the baby is placed low or high and what kind of cravings Charlotte has had. The boys just repeat their opinions with no ground.
"Hi, you look pretty," Evie says when she sees me.
"Hi, you look prettier," I tell her with a smile but she just waves dismissively.
"Tell Charles he needs to learn how to argue, he just keeps saying it's a girl but he has no ground for it," She shakes her head.
"Well... Evie... maybe I just want it to be a girl?" He says with a shrug, taking my cupcake from my hand, taking a bite before giving it back. I stare at him blankly and then I turn to Pierre, because I don't know how he has the patience to listen to these two. He just shakes his head, taking the rest of my cupcake from me.
"You're a menace," I tell him, "A French menace."
"You're a Monegasque menace," he replies with his mouth full of my cupcake.
"Doesn't have the same ring to it, loser," I mutter.
Evie leans in next to my face and whispers "I'm definitely team girl, but Pierre doesn't have to know that and I just like arguing with Charles." I just nod in response because it's totally justified.
After a while of hanging out and eating some cupcakes and cookies, it's time for the gender reveal. They bring the confetti cannons out and we all gather around the parents to be. They pop them and pink confetti whirls around in the air. Charles and I obviously rub it in Evie and Pierre's faces. The parents get the biggest smiles on their faces and we celebrate with cake and let them open their gifts. The kids pull me with them to play and I just try to run around with them to get them tired so they'll be calm all night. It's worth it even if I have to pretend to be a monster for a while.
Philippe's daughter seemed to be my biggest fan at times. She only had a brother so I guess older girls were super duper exciting to her. She'd barely leave my side and she'd ask me questions and want to show me anything. So when I got tired of running around I just sat down with the women and the little girl, Inès, came to sit on my knee. I just held her in my lap and we both listened to the grown ups talking. Eventually, I noticed Charles further away with his phone in his hands, held towards us. I nudge Inès and point to Charles' camera, telling her to smile. We both smile widely for the photo and then Charles comes over and sits down next to us, showing us the photos he took before we noticed, when I pointed and then the nice photos where we smiled.
They were really cute. I asked him to send them to me and then I posted two of them on Instagram, tagging Philippe, since Inès is a literal child and has no form of social media.
This was the first thing that told people what we were doing and what we were up to. They now know I'm in Alassio with the Gasly family and we quickly noticed that people made the connection that we were there together. Evie also ended up posting on her Instagram story to confirm people's suspicions that we were all there together.
I offered to help the two mothers with dinner and our Pascale told their Pascale that I was great in the kitchen, as I had helped her cook back in Monaco for nearly a year. It was the first time I realized that I had been living in Monaco for a year. In a year, even though I was busy avoiding Charles, I was still so much happier.
We called everyone for dinner and sat down together to eat. Inès sat next to me so I had to help her with filling her plate with food and cut it up for her. Evie and I spent almost the whole meal talking to her and the other kids. I had to translate between them, but they still tried to talk to Evie even though the process was a bit longer.
When we had eaten we wanted to lift the burden off of the grownups so Evie and I made it a game with the children to get them to help us clean up. We made sure they all helped to carry everything inside and then we put stools under the sink and helped them do the dishes, which they all loved. They had so much fun and the other's got a chance to rest as we tired the children.
While we were on it, we helped them get into bed too. We put them into pajamas, made them stand in a line and brush their teeth. I read a French book for them as Evie braided the girls' hair so they would wake up with wavy hair. Then we put them all to bed and walked back outside. The mothers thanked us so much, even though we kind of loved it. They were all great kids. I was kind of jealous of Evie for being able to kind of have them as her nieces and nephew.
Charles, Arthur and Pierre aren't by the table anymore, so we go to look for them separately to see if they're up to doing something or if they're just going to be boring all night. The sun had just set and the sky was getting darker and darker, so the whole backyard was being lit up by string lights going all the way around it. I loved the backyards when it got dark out, it's so cozy.
I walked inside the house and I heard nothing. I went to change into something more comfortable for the evening, so I shut myself in my room, looking for a hoodie and some sweatpants or a pair of shorts. I just found a hoodie when the door opened. Charles walks inside, he's in swim trunks and a hoodie with a towel thrown over his shoulder.
"Vuoi venire? sto andando a nuotare," You want to come? I'm going swimming, he says and I just stare for a moment. Has he gone out of his mind?
"Farà freddo, il sole è tramontato," It'll be cold, the sun has set, I reply.
"Allora?" So?
I open my mouth to argue about it, saying it's stupid and it'll be too cold. But he's here and he's asking me to go swimming with him. He knows it's cold and he knows it's stupid. But it's also the only way we'll be alone. We're always around other people, so going down there now might be to simply be alone. So in the end, I just nod and I tell him to wait outside while I change.
I put a hoodie and sweatpants on and brought a towel with me out of my room. Charles was waiting in the hallway and we went downstairs together. We didn't want the grown ups to see us go down together so we just had a silent agreement to take the longer way over the field. We wade through the tall grass and I whine a little about the fact that there might be snakes there. Charles starts stomping to scare them away and I hold onto his arm to keep as close to him as possible.
The way down the cliffs is steeper there and we struggle to climb down the rocks. Charles holds onto my hand to make sure I don't fall and the last little bit, he jumps down and catches me when I jump too. We get undressed and then he's into the water. He doesn't seem to care about it being awfully cold. I stand there and look at the dark waves with the moon's light glimmering against the surface. Then Charles' head breaks through the surface and he shakes water out of his hair. He waits for me to get in, but I'm standing with water up to my knees and starts remembering just why I was about to argue with him about going.
"Je ne sais pas pourquoi je continue à t'écouter," I don't know why I keep listening to you, I shake my head.
"Ce n'est pas si mal, allez," It's not so bad, come on, he replies. I cross my arms over my stomach and just stare blankly at him, "Bon, ce n'est pas génial, mais quand même," Well, it's not great, but still.
He walks over towards me but when he gets closer I start to back away from him. If he touches me I'll just get wet and cold from the water on his body. He takes a larger step to catch me and gets a hold of my wrist. I try to pull it out of his grip but he just manages to pull me closer to him. When I think he's going to push me into the water, I prepare myself to hold my breath, but instead I just feel his cold hands on my waist, pulling me to his wet and cold body so he can lift me up and walk me just a few steps further into the water before putting me down where it's a lot deeper and I'm forced into the water. I stiffen and bite the sides of my cheeks to try and not yell about how fucking cold it is.
I gasp and pinch my eyes shut, then I suddenly feel his cold and wet lips against mine. So cruel of him to do something like this, distracting me from the fact that I should be a bit pissed at him. I put my hands on his bare chest and I find myself in awe, once again, over his upper body muscles. We stay like this for a while. His lips intertwined with my own and his arms fully wrapped around my waist. When he finally begins warming me with his own body heat, I slowly begin feeling him pick me up once again. Before I can do anything about it, his hands are on my hips and he is tossing me into the freezing water.
When I pop my head back up, I see him running towards me and dives under the water. When he pops up in front of me, I latch onto him, not wanting to hold myself up while freezing my ass off.
"Pourquoi diable feriez-vous ça?" Why the hell would you do that? I say out of breath while holding myself closer to him. Meanwhile, he has this huge, shit-eating grin on his face.
"Il est plus facile de demander pardon que la permission." It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, he says with a shrug. My jaw drops.
"Dit chaque tueur en série." Says every serial killer ever, I say while smacking his shoulder. his grin disappears.
"Reprends-le" Take it back, I begin to laugh while shaking my head 'no', he begins to tickle my sides. I scream and shout to stop and to let me go. He's laughing his infectious laugh and I join in. I'm squirming in his hold and trying to get him off of me without drowning. When he finally lets up, I turn to him and slap his bare chest for putting me through this hell. Being thrown in the cold water was enough, being tickled was too far. He has his hands on my waist and he tries to pull me in again but I try to push away from him while laughing until I have to give up.
I let him pull me in while I frown, but then I feel him pressing his lips to my temple as he snickers to himself. I turn to face him and my chest presses to his as his arms are wrapped tightly around me. I press a light kiss on his lips and then he does the same. We laugh as we keep exchanging quick pecks on each other's faces. That water doesn't seem so cold anymore.
It seems so casual as we're so lost in the moment. For some reason, I'm barely thinking about the fact that I'm kissing Charles. I just let myself enjoy myself then and there, letting all my worries go for just a little while.
Interrupting our moment we hear shouting coming from the steps leading down to the water.
"Charles! C! Hello?"
"Vous devez vous moquer de moi," You've got to be fucking kidding me, he groans under his breath as he lifts his head, separating our faces that had been so close as we were laughing with each other. We both look up towards the top of the stone stair and see three heads walking around, seemingly searching for us.
There's a large rock in the water and I swim over to it, bringing Charles with me. It's tall, but it's not that wide, so I press his back against it and then press myself to him to hide myself as well.
"I don't think they're down there, it's too dark to swim," I hear Evie's voice.
"Where the fuck did they go then?!" Pierre asks, "You were just with her, weren't you?"
"Le pire jeu de cache-cache de tous les temps." Worst game of hide-and-seek ever, we hear Arthur whine. I have to put my hand over my mouth to not laugh at his comment and I struggle to keep quiet, so I put my forehead onto Charles' shoulder as I try my best not to laugh out loud.
We hear as their voices fade away and we realize it's time to get out of here. We got out of the water, and I realized it was a lot better in the water than out of the water. It's so much colder in the air and I'm shaking. My teeth are shattering even as I wrap myself in my towel to dry myself off before I start to get dressed. Charles realizes just how cold I am and laughs as he walks up to me, rubbing his arms up and down my arms. He wraps his arms around me and I smell the cologne from his hoodie as I feel just a bit warmer.
We went back to the house the way we came. Climbing up the cliff and then wading through the high grass back to the house. We sneak inside the house and up to our rooms. I tell him goodnight outside of his door and start to walk back to my own room, but he grabs me, turns me back around and leaves a quick peck on my lips before telling me goodnight and walking into his room.