Rêveries

Chapter 57.

It's painful having to say goodbye to Charles, every damn time. But when I said goodbye to him in France, at least I knew it was only for a week.

After the race and after all of his media duties, he found me and we met up with Mia and Nicolas in one of the conference rooms. The questions about Charles and I started again. They ask if we have a time plan, they want to know what races I'll be at, they want to know if we know when we want to start letting up about our relationship, they want to know if I'll be at the last race of the season, if I'll be at sponsor events with him.

It felt shameful only being able to answer them with 'I don't know' but I honestly didn't. I don't want to be a pain in the ass to them, because Nicolas needs to know to get me passes and Mia needs to know for media reasons. But I have to practice a lot, I have competitions and I don't want to make things more difficult for Elliòtt. So I told them that I'd find out and let them know as soon as I could. My biggest fear is feeling that being at the paddock feels more like a duty than something fun to support Charles and the others.

But I went home, I checked our schedule, and I sent it to Charles and we said we'd discuss it in Sweden. I practiced with Elliòtt, I packed for both Germany and for Sweden, as I thought it'd be easier if I went immediately from Germany to Sweden on the Sunday, then Charles would fly from Austria on the Monday. I made sure my costume was sitting perfectly, and then I made sure I had our team set that Elliòtt had ordered for us.

He ordered a set for us with our names on the back of it along with the Monaco flag. He ordered me to wear it to the airport and though I didn't understand why, I just agreed.

So Thursday morning, I got out of bed, put the stupid set on and I put my hair up, packed the final things and then Pascale drove me to the airport in Nice, where I met Elliòtt. For some reason, when I met him that morning, I didn't want to see him. There was something that had changed overnight. We've never been each other's best friends, but that morning I just saw him somehow less than I had seen him earlier. The past week had been tough, and I told myself that was it. Even though there wasn't much we could do to make it better, it was damn near perfect, he still seemed upset with me and kept finding minor, minor details that I was doing that he thought I needed to change.

In Germany, we met up with Evie at the airport. She speaks German and will therefore be great to have around, since Elliòtt and I don't. On our way to the hotel, she taught us some basics, how to greet people, how to ask and answer simple questions. As soon as we got to the hotel, Evie and I went into our room that we're sharing, and I told her just how pissed off he was making me for no reason.

"He's just so... he's acting like he's so much better, and I know he is, but he's acting like such a snob and it just came out of nowhere," I whine, sprawled across my bed.

"Maybe he's just stressed," Evie tries and I just groan, because he doesn't get a free card to treat me poorly because he's stressed about something he doesn't even need to be stressed about, because we got it down perfectly.

"I don't care!" I exclaim, "He needs to get my last straw out of his ass!"

"That's... not how you say that," Evie points out, furrowing her brows as she seems to be stuck on the two sayings I accidentally messed up in the heat of the moment, but I don't bother correcting myself, because she knows what I'm trying to say. "Hey," Evie says and I feel her get on the bed next to me, "You'll have to bite the bullet, it's only for a couple more months and then you can get a new partner for the next season," She says, putting her chin on my shoulder and her arms over my body.

"I don't even know how to get a new partner, he was the one who came to me," I murmur.

"You'll have to do it like the drivers. They prove themselves to appeal to other teams. Be good, be amazing, and then when the season is over, make sure you've been great enough to have another partner come to you," she says as if it's the easiest thing in the world. But we both know that it's never that easy. We're two people in this, and if Elliòtt is bad then I will look worse, as I am the one with less experience.