35
Mary and Sarah had left soon after Helen's show-stopping set, leaving Annalise in Lucinda's hands and she never moved too far away from Lucinda until the end of the night. Now, with finale complete, the last drinks sold, the weary, drunken souls passing through the doors of Butterfly for the last time, the entire staff breathed both a sigh of relief and shed tears of sadness. The doors became closed, staff bade each other their farewells until the staff party and the night drew to a close.
In Helen's flat, they all sat in silence. There seemed little to say and little to do except to reflect on a good night. A sad night, but a good one. Annalise rested her head upon Lucinda's shoulder as unspoken words passed between her, Helen and Krystal. It was more than a workplace for those two, it was their home. Butterfly had been their life for so long, Lucinda couldn't imagine how they must feel.
"I'll call for a taxi for Annalise and wait for it downstairs with her." Lucinda broke the silence, picking up her phone. With her head on Helen's knees, Krystal stroked Toby's head. "I'll take Toby for a walk, too ... oh ... that's weird."
"Darling if anything else weird happens around here, I want it whipped until it learns the error of its ways." Helen, arms spread along the sofa, rolled her head back, groaning. "Damn it! I was too sad and excited to feel horny before, now I'm gagging for a shag and all the fit blokes have gone home! Fuck! Fine, what's weird?"
"I've got a text from a blocked number." With her forehead creased, Lucinda showed Helen the message. "It just says 'Skye's team made the final'. I don't think it's from Andy. He wouldn't hide the number. Two days after the staff party."
Helen squinted as she looked at the message then shook her head, rolling it back again. She lifted Krystal's head from her knees and crossed her legs. Then switched the legs around. Finally, she rose to her feet and headed to the kitchen while Krystal attached Toby's lead to his harness. She looked concerned for Helen and allowed Lucinda to take the lead from her hand.
With the taxi called, Lucinda felt grateful of the opportunity to get out into the fresh air. Here, in the flat, it all felt a little tense and Lucinda didn't want Annalise to get caught in the middle if Helen decided to have another ranting outburst. She loved Helen, but the woman had no control of her emotions. With Annalise by her side, Lucinda reached for the door handle just as someone knocked.
"Helen? You ..." The words caught in her throat as she opened the door. Without being invited, Clarisse entered, Carlo by her side. "Come right in, why don't you? Helen, it's for you. Try not to break anything."
"From the look on her face, this is going to be awkward, isn't it?" Leaning in, Annalise whispered so quiet, Lucinda could feel her breath on her ear. "Do you want to stay? For support?"
"No. She always looks like that." She watched as Clarisse tried not to sneer at the flat around her and Helen circled the room, squinting as she stared at Clarisse. Like two animals caught in a cage. "Krystal is Helen's best friend, she's all the support Helen needs, but I don't think she will need it. I think this might be a good thing."
"A little privacy, please. Mimi and I have to talk. I expect you and your friend are going somewhere, Luca ..." Clarisse paused, her eyes travelling up and down Lucinda before giving a slow, approving nod. "Luciana, dearest. If you will?"
"Krystal stays. If you're having your lapdog here, she stays." Helen screwed up her face toward Carlo. "No offence, Carlo, darling."
"Quite a lot of offence taken." Carlo smiled toward Lucinda, lowering his voice as he leaned toward her. "Now that is an outfit! Don't worry. Everything will be fine."
Allowing Annalise through the door first, then Toby, Lucinda closed the door, keeping her eyes on the surrogate mother and daughter until the gap disappeared, Krystal and Carlo giving each other little waves. All the way down the stairs, Lucinda worried that she had made the wrong decision. Or decisions. No doubt it was her intervention that had brought Clarisse to Butterfly this night. That was Lucinda's decision, but it was also her decision to leave those four people in the flat alone without a clearer head to referee the encounter.
Krystal was, by any metric, lovely, but she had only a minor understanding of life, having drawn away from it, or dissociated, as Helen called it, after her past troubles. Carlo was also lovely, but too much of a vassal of Clarisse to put a stop to any of her usual biting comments. But, perhaps no-one needed to referee the meeting. Perhaps this was the beginning of a new chapter in Helen and Clarisse's relationship, or a strengthening of the animosity between them.
Several times Lucinda wanted to return upstairs, but she had a responsibility to make certain Annalise got home safely. With Toby running around both their legs, they exited the side door, leaving the official half-brick there to stop it closing, and stood outside in the cold. It was cold, too. Breath rising from their mouths like smoke rising from chimneys. Lucinda shivered and Annalise laughed as she appeared to copy her.
As though having the same thought, they reached out, wrapping their arms around each other and moving in close. After a second, Lucinda kicked off her tall heeled shoes. She had become so used to walking in them, she often forgot how tall she became and Annalise was not a tall woman. Now, closer in height, their breaths began to intermingle, becoming one column of white, rising upward toward the crisp, cloudless sky above.
"Oi, oi!" The shout interrupted the kiss that Lucinda felt certain they were about to share. "That's what I like to see! Girls with girls! Get in!"
The man weaved and stumbled closer. Coming from the main street, it seemed obvious he was on his way home, too. Why he chose the alley, Lucinda didn't know, but she began to look toward the door, back into Butterfly. Too late, she realised the man was closer to the door than they were. Using her wig to hide her face, Lucinda ushered Annalise closer to the wall. Should anything happen, Lucinda would keep the man occupied while Annalise ran.
"Thanks. Have a good night." Lucinda felt all too aware of her voice. Though it automatically softened when she dressed, she still felt it sounded too masculine.
"You forgot your shoes, love." The man ceased his weaving, leaning down, almost falling over as he picked up the shoes. He swayed as he tried to focus on the shoes. "Fuck me! You could have someone's eye out with them!"
He moved closer to Lucinda and Annalise, the smell of alcohol drifting through the thin air. As he neared, he tilted to one side and then the other, taking good, long looks at them both, eyes narrowing. The shoes dangled from his fingers as he held them that little too far out of reach. Lucinda's hand balled into a fist as the man moved another step closer, holding out the shoes.
"Thank you." She felt Annalise tense behind her as she accepted the shoes with other hand. "We're just waiting for a taxi. We're fine if you want to get home."
"You two are fucking gorgeous! Fuck me! But ..." He continued to sway, his eyes moving between Lucinda and Annalise, smacking his lips, before his entire head lowered, looking downward. "But this little fucker is fucking beautiful!"
He dropped like a stone, into a crouch, and began ruffling Toby around the ears, rubbing the little dog's sides and cackling as Toby licked his face, not caring about the stink of stale beer about the man. Lucinda almost laughed, letting out a breath she hadn't realised she had held. The man continued to pet Toby for a little while longer before trying to rise to his feet. He tottered backward a few feet, spread his arms out to catch his balance and then, very deliberately, turned to continue walking along the alley.
"Goodnight, girls." He waved one hand to the side, tilting that way before righting himself. He muttered as he walked. "Fucking beautiful dog!"
By the time he had disappeared out the other end of the alley, lights panned across Lucinda and Annalise, imprinting their shadows against the wall of Butterfly and they both looked up the alley and then back to each other. The engine of the taxi idled as Annalise took Lucinda's shoes from her hand, laying them on the ground. She leaned in, holding Lucinda's face between her hands and kissed her.
"Wait." Lucinda pulled back, though she dearly didn't want it to stop. "I think I might be moving. I'm not certain, yet, but Helen and Krystal are moving to Manchester and ... and I think I might go, too. I don't want to start something if I'm just going to leave. It wouldn't be fair on you."
"Okay." She looked over Lucinda's shoulder to the waiting taxi. "Don't I get a say in it? I mean, it sounds like you haven't decided yet and we don't even know what this is. I say, why not enjoy the time we have and, if you do decide to move, we'll see what happens then, eh? I like you, Lucy. A lot. I'm not willing to throw this away for a maybe."
"But ... I also think I might be going full-time. Dressing. That'll be a burden, too. People don't like people like me." Memories of the unhappy encounters crossed Lucinda's mind. She didn't want anyone else to suffer because of her. "I just don't ..."
"My choice." She kissed Lucinda again, a soft, simple kiss, her eyes looking into Lucinda's before pulling back. "I think you're beautiful and you're worth it. My choice. Don't even think of trying to take that away from me. And besides, fuck what other people think. You have to be who you have to be. Call me."
Another, feather-light kiss touched Lucinda's lips and Annalise drew away. She headed toward the taxi, looking over her shoulder at every step until she opened the door and stepped inside. As the taxi pulled away, Annalise's face turned to continue watching Lucinda until the taxi turned onto the main street and disappeared.
Lucinda stood there for moments longer before reaching down and retrieving her shoes. With her other hand, she touched lips that hadn't been kissed properly for years and felt her mouth curled into a huge smile. With a sigh, she headed back to the door, moving the half-brick out of the way with her tights-clad foot. She needed to get back upstairs to see whether Clarisse and Helen had killed each other with stinging barbs and stiletto sharp retorts. It would be fine. Everything would be fine. Eventually.