Requested by: kynyav
Summary:
Knowing what the right answer is, and phrasing it out loud, is two completely different things.
Todoroki knows what he wants- and what's way beyond his comfort zone. His classmates try to push him beyond that, but how can he tell his classmates no when 'no', has never been an option?
===
Some of his classmates had... invited him, to some of their little activities, even as they knew that it was way beyond his usual self. Both boys and girls from his class, seemed to find it awfully entertaining to watch him try new things. He didn't have anything against it, as it started small-
--
Sato had asked him to help bake a cake for the class. Something they all realised a long time ago, was something that should always be considered out of the question...
It started well, as he quickly found himself, just walking back and fourth between cabinets, as he retrieved multiple supply's for Sato. He didn't have anything against it, as he knew how bad of a cook he is... and that it would probably be a fire hazard, to even have him in the kitchen to begin with...
He hadn't tried to deny Sato's request of help, as it was actually something he really wanted to know more about... Not that he would ever agree with that...
But the small cooking incident, quickly escalated to more of his classmates either asking for- help or assistance, like when-
--
Kaminari asked for help with his math homework.
Todoroki hadn't had anything against it, and reluctantly agreed to help the blonde... until he came to the realization, that Kaminari weren't going to learn anything, and instead just handed his homework to someone else.
He wanted to say, that he hadn't helped Kaminari with stuff like that since... but he just couldn't seem to mutter the words, that his head was telling him to.
--
Then there was the incident with Mina..
She had asked Todoroki, if he wanted to help her with a new hobby, that she seemed to have caught onto. And it seemed fine at first, until the makeup was brought out infront of him- What had he done to deserve this..?
The makeup in it's usual self, was more than enough to cross his personal boundaries- though he would never tell Mina that... Todoroki had bitten down the uncomfortable feeling, that was building up inside his stomach, as Mina began readying all of her supply's on the ground.
And just as he felt like he could go through with it, Mina touched his face with a wet sponge, and all of his walls crumbled just before his eyes, as memories from his old middle school days, seemed to replay in his mind, over and over again.
Those days... they always seemed to remind him just how much, he actually despised his scar..
--
"Hey. You wanna help me, with something, Todoroki?" Yaoyorozu had asked one day, and he hadn't found anything out of the ordinary, about her request. Maybe she really just wanted some help?
He later regretted it, as he found himself surrounded by his laughing classmates, while the dress he wore, sat uncomfortably on his shoulders. He never helped Yaoyorozu since... not sure if he even trusted himself to be alone with her...
...
"You know, that you don't have to say 'yes' to everything, that they ask of you, right?" Midoriya said, as he and Todoroki sat opposite of each other on one of the couches- both of their backs being against one of the armrests.
Todoroki could only slightly lower the book in his hand, as he seemed to register the words, that had left the others mouth. Were he even meant to disagree?... was it an option?
Not knowing what to make of the others sentence, Todoroki decided to put his confusion into words, instead of trying to figure it out himself- he always did that... and it never really ended well..- "What do you mean? I like helping our classmates". He could only watch, as Midoriya obviously facepalmed himself.
"That's not.." The older gently rubbed at the bridge of his nose, with his index finger- and thump, before continuing where he left off- "That's not what I meant Todoroki. You always agree to help our classmates- and I don't say that it's bad thing. But when I can see that you're clearly uncomfortable with what they ask of you, maybe you shouldn't agree..?" He said the last bit in a sort of low and questioning tone, as if to ask, if Todoroki had understood what he meant.
"I just-" He fumbled a bit over his words, before the right ones seemed to fit in- "I like to help them, and I can get over a few uncomfortable situations, if it means that their happy-" As a finger suddenly stopped, just before reaching his head, Todoroki instantly cut himself off.
"That may be it, but are their happiness any more important than yours?" Midoriya's sentence seemed to catch him off guard, as the only thing he could do, was try to mouth the words he wanted to say- no sound willing to leave his throat. Midoriya caught onto this fact quickly, and decided to continue, as he realised Todoroki weren't going to respond- "You need to say 'no' sometimes- it's not like they can't handle it. If you haven't realised, every time someone denies their strange requests, they just move along to someone else, until they either; find someone who wants to help out, or, until they realise no one is going to"
The younger of the two looked down towards the book in his hand, as he gnawed lightly at his inner lip. Was he even willing to say 'no'?.. could he? He could feel Midoriya leaning forward, and towards him, but he didn't raise his head.
He liked watching the reactions coming from his classmates, whenever he agreed to help out- their smiles in particular. Something he never really did genuinely, before he met them. He wanted to repay them, for everything that they had done for him, but he never really deemed it enough. Was he supposed to?
And as if on cue, Kirishima suddenly popped up from behind him- a strange bottle in his hand. Looking closer, Todoroki realised it was a bottle of red hair dye- he knew Kirishima used it, but he didn't know why he needed it now.
"Hey, Todobro, could you help me out here?" The red head flashed his usual toothy smile, and Todoroki couldn't do anything else then stare, while raising an eyebrow in confusion- What did he need his help with? And why did he bring the hair dye here?
"I, uhmm-" Kirishima raised the bottle in his hand, and the pieces suddenly came together, without the red head having to tell him "-kinda need help with applying this... could you help out?"
He just stared in shock, unable to respond to that right away- he didn't know how to... "I.."
When a feet nudged his own, he glanced towards Midoriya out of the corner of his eye, only to see that he were mouthing, what seemed to be- 'no'. Todoroki wasn't going to deny, especially not if Midoriya told him to- he could apply some hair dye.. right? "Sure. But I don't know how to-" He only just turned his head, before a hand grabbed his forearm and lifted him off of the couch-
"Thanks man!"
The only thing Midoriya heard after that, was Todoroki quietly trying to mumble out the words that 'he didn't know how to', when Kirishima kept interrupting him.
How did it always end like that?
...
So... he did the hair dye.. and it went well.. but how do you get it off of your fingers again?
Todoroki stood hovered over the sink in Kirishima's bathroom, desperately trying to scrub off the red stains on his hands... no, not stains. It was more like he had found a pair of red gloves, and then now needed to wear them permanently..
He hadn't known that the hair dye would stain, if kept on for too long-.. or, atleast not on skin...
Todoroki had went all out, trying his best to do the best job he were able to, as Kirishima placed himself on a chair infront of him, while reaching the bottle over his shoulder. He hadn't thought much about it, when he started, instead just smearing as much as he could into the palm of his hand, before applying it all over the red heads hair.
Kirishima hadn't said anything when he began, so he just automatically thought that he were doing it right... maybe he should of listened to his own, better judgement...
"Todobro? What are you doing?" Todoroki flinched slightly, as he hadn't expected the other to be standing just in the doorway, having what seemed to be a questioning look on his face.
"I.. uhm" He found himself starring towards the bathroom floor tiles, as he couldn't find the words he needed to say. Instead, he decided to turn off the water, before reaching his all red hands towards the red head infront of him.
He still didn't look up, but by the way he suddenly heard snorting coming from the other, it seemed like it wasn't that bad of a situation... atleast he wanted to hope that was the case...
Kirishima just kept laughing, which made Todoroki turn his head back up, only to realise that the other had practically leant forward, out of pure joy- "I can't- can't.." Kirishima kept laughing, his sentence not making much sense, as he had to place a hand around his stomach, after a while of just pure cackling.
He dramatically whipped a tear of joy from his eye, before turning back towards the younger, still a big smile on his face- "You didn't use gloves, did you?" Once his sentence ended, a new set of laughter filled the room, as Todoroki silently hoped that Kirishima would choke..
Was he supposed to wear gloves? Why had nobody told him that?.. And a better question.. how was he supposed to get the dye off of his hands?
Todoroki shifted his gaze back towards the ground, out of pure shame, as he almost whispered a reply to the other- "No... was I supposed to..?" He could feel himself glaring at his hands, as if it was their fault, that he felt like he did.. maybe it was..
"No! Or, you were. But that's not the point!" Kirishima rambled, as Todoroki couldn't help but look up, only to realise that the other were waving his hands through the air... in a way, that seemed an awfully lot like how Midoriya waves his hands through the air, whenever he rambles out loud...
The red head quickly returned to his usual calm self, as he spoke out again, any sign of his previous rambling, no where to be seen- "I'm sorry dude, I should of told you to wear gloves-" Kirishima raised a hand to his neck, as he rubbed it while placing an apologetic expression on his face, "- but I thought you had done this before, or, atleast knew something about it. My bad" He smiled to ease the youngers mind, but it didn't work even the slightest, as the others words suddenly sank into Todoroki's head-
He thought, that he had done this before? Hadn't he told him ten times or so, that he had never done anything like this?! Todoroki silently cursed at himself, before a hand landing on his shoulder tore him from his thoughts-
"But if it makes you feel any better, I can help you get it off, if you want?"
Todoroki didn't know whether to take the offer or reject it, but by the way Kirishima scrunched his eyebrows slightly, Todoroki knew that he were genuinely sorry for not saying anything... So he agreed...
...
The sound of his footsteps in the empty hallway could be heard, as he walked in a rapid pace, trying to get back to his own dorm, before being stopped by another of his classmates-
After Kirishima helped him get the dye off, roughly one and a half hour had passed, which meant both of his hands were red and sore, from excessive scrubbing and being hold under hot water for only god knows how long..
And as if that wasn't enough, the second he had let Kirishima's dorm, Sero had pulled him aside, wanting his help with; apparently, making an excessive amount of ice outside, so that they could use it for... what was it again? Ice cream shop?... Water slide? He wasn't completely sure, but he also doesn't think that he has gotten enough sleep lately, his mind seeming awfully cloudy right now. Why did he walk to his dorm again?
As a shiver ran down his spine, he realised just how badly he wanted to get back to his room, and just curl up under the covers, on his futon.
His fingers were cold, and there was still a thin layer of frost on his right cheek, but no matter how hard he tried, his body temperature refused to increase. It wasn't like his temperature was dropping or something like that, so he would be fine, but he still didn't understand why he couldn't get his fire quirk to work..
When his right hand came into contact with the door handle, to his room, Todoroki seemed to realise just how badly, his drop in temperature had actually been- his fingers so frozen, that it was almost painful for him to turn the handle.
He'd never have any problems like that... why'd they come now?
He shook the thought from his mind, as he walked into his surprisingly cold room. Did he forget to turn on the heat again?
The second he took a step into his room, a ringing coming from his phone, tore his attention away from where it was supposed to be-
Ring
He had to clench his teeth together, as he reached his hands into his pockets, his freezing fingers rubbing uncomfortably on the fabric of his pants.
Ri-
He quickly answered the phone, not even bothering to look at the caller Id- "Hello?" His voice came out awfully shaky, but he didn't pay it much mind, as it didn't exactly come as a surprise, considering how much he were shaking right now.
"Todoroki-kun? Where are you?" He quickly recognized the voice, as Midoriya's, though he couldn't see a reason for him to be calling right now.
"In my dorm. Why?" The second his sentence had ended, a sigh could be heard from the other end, confusing him further- had he done something wrong?
He didn't say anything more, waiting for the other to reply, when a bunch of voices could suddenly be heard from the other end- and not just any voices, his classmates'. Wait.. were he supposed to- "You forgot, didn't you?" Midoriya didn't sound disappointed, more like worried, but Todoroki couldn't help but feel that he had messed up at something... even as he didn't remember what..
"..."
When Todoroki didn't answer, another sigh could be heard from the other end- it wasn't like he didn't want to answer, he just couldn't seem to find the right words.. did that upset Midoriya?
Impatience suddenly took over his mind, making him scramble towards the door in a pace he hadn't thought was possible, as he couldn't bring himself to wait for an answer. If he had upset Midoriya, then he needed to find him as soon as possible... he doesn't think, that he'll be able to accept being alone again..
"I'm sorry Midoriya, where are y-you?" His words came out rushed and slightly blurred, though what caught his attention the most, was just how much a slight shiver, could affect his way of talking- had he just stuttered? He could feel himself picking up his walking pace, as he neared the elevator, while waiting for the greenette to answer, which he did, unexpectedly quick-
"In the common area...- Are you running?" Midoriya's voice trailed off, only to come out in a tone, he couldn't quite place. Did his breathing sound that weird? He were just walking a bit fast.. it wasn't like he were running.. When he stopped infront of the elevator, waiting for it to arrive, Todoroki let out a shaky breath, only to realise that it was almost a solid mist, that left his mouth- was that why?
"N-no-" Damn him, and his stuttering "- I'm just by the elevator now, so I'll be down any minute"
".. Alright, see you.." The olders voice sounded like, he were being skeptic and worried all at ones. Was that his fault? A few seconds went by, with only an awkward silence being cast over the phones, as Todoroki waited for the other to hang up. Midoriya seemed to be waiting for an answer aswell, but when nothing came, the sound of a call being hung up, suddenly rang in Todoroki's ears. Should he of said something? Maybe he sh-
Ding
When the elevator neared it's stop, Todoroki's thoughts cut in two, as he suddenly seemed to throw them completely away.
The sounds of talking and laughing, filled the common area, as some of the students were trying to set up a movie. They had arranged it a long time ago, to have a few movie nights here and there.. though they never seemed to find any movies, that everybody would like- it being incredibly hard, as they all, had different taste in movies.
So to make it feel as fair, as possible, the ones who arranged it, would switch the theme every now and then, making the theme for tonight; horror.
Very few actually wanted to watch the horror movies, which resulted in the 'horror nights' to be picked rarer than the other themes, in which were more popular between the students.
Though, to be fair, only Bakugou and a few others- probably the ones he intimidated to come, was interested in the entire theme-
"No! That's a shit movie, you really wanna watch something made for kids!?" Bakugou suddenly yelled from the ground, infront of the TV, as he snatched the DVD from Mina's hand, before replacing it with another one- "See, something like this is way better" The blonde grinned, as he watched all the color, fade from Mina's face, going from a light pink, to a complete white within seconds.
And as all of the words, had been drained from her throat, Mina could only slightly nod in reply, as she couldn't help but whisper under her breath- "The other movies' age restrictions, said; 16+ though..." Her mumbling seemed to go unnoticed by the blonde, as they began setting the new movie, to the TV.
Though, while all of this was going on, the only thought going through Midoriya's head, had been about Todoroki, and if he were alright. He hadn't seen him for atleast four hours straight now.. and it never seemed like him to stay away for that long..
He knew that the younger was coming down soon, but he couldn't help but keep reflected upon what he had said- "- I'm just by the elevator now, so I'll be down any minute", if that was the case, then Todoroki would be here in a matter of seconds by now, but he still couldn't help but think about it, and about, how Todoroki seemed to forget alot lately.
They had talked about this movie night for weeks, and how they would be sitting besides each other, as neither liked the entire theme of horror. So he didn't know, whether to say that- he were surprised, or, just utterly concerned for his friend. Todoroki never forgot anything important.. atleast not until recently, and Midoriya has his reasons as to why..
"Hello Todoroki, glad you could join us" The green haired teen turned his head, as he watched Iida chop the air, while pointing towards the all too familiar two toned boy. Todoroki seemed a bit out of place though, as he simply watched Iida chop the air, with what seemed like a spaced out expression on his face. So to make things a little more comfortable for the younger, Midoriya made his presence known, by waving a hand in the air, from his place on the couch.
His action seemed to bring the other back to the real world, as he nodded at Iida shortly, while talking in his usual monotone voice- "Sorry, I kinda..." He stopped for a moment, as a puzzled expression took up his features "-.. fell asleep" Todoroki seemed confused for a moment, by his own sentence, but quickly shook it off, as Iida decided to join the ones on the floor, still trying to get the movie to work.
He expected the other to just join him on the couch, but when he didn't move, Midoriya decided to take initiative- "Hey, come sit down, their still preparing the movie" He smiled, not really knowing why, as Todoroki stepped closer towards the couch, though just as he were about a feet away, the smile he had plastered across his face, quickly vanished, realising the others state-
Isn't he... shivering? Trembling even?
Todoroki's right arm twitched and trembled uncontrollably- the same as his eyes, as they darted around the room slowly, seemingly watching everyone's actions, before sitting down besides the green haired boy, which only gave Midoriya a closer look, at how the other seemed awfully pale.
"Are.. Are you alright?" He hesitated, before his curiosity took over, his mouth moving faster than his brain. Though he couldn't keep the thoughts away- it looked like he hadn't slept for years. His skin was as pale as snow, while his eyes seemed hollow. When was the last time, that he got a good nights sleep?
Todoroki nodded, no words leaving his mouth, as he seemed to be avoiding Midoriya's gaze- did it have something to do with him?
"What happened?" He tried again, this time, getting the younger to turn his head "You're shivering. Are you cold?" Todoroki seemed shocked by his question, but didn't say anything in responds, instead just glancing around the room, before returning his gaze to it's original spot.
"I just helped Sero, with some ice-" That explained the shivering.. "- it's not a big deal" Midoriya almost wanted to choke him, but kept the urge back, as Todoroki ones again seemed to push his own feelings aside, to make more room for others. Why couldn't he see, that it was slowly killing him?
Midoriya sighed, seemingly getting the youngers attention- "You need to think about yourself for a change, you know that right?" He could see Todoroki visibly flinching by his harsher tone of voice, but he didn't let up, knowing it was the only way to get through to the others head, "You can't just keep-"
"I am looking out for myself, but I also want to help others" Todoroki quickly cut in, while raising his own voice a bit more in the process.
"You're not-"
"I am"
He cut in again, keeping Midoriya from uttering a sentence at all. Why didn't he seem to get it?
He sighed again, before turning his entire body on the couch, so that he could be facing the younger more, while keeping eye contact- "You're not, 'cause if you were, then you wouldn't be trembling and shivering right now, while looking like a dead body" Todoroki didn't cut in this time, probably because of Midoriya's intense stare, but he needed him to keep quiet. How else would he get his point across?
The two toned boy opened his mouth to speak, but no sound left his lips. He glanced towards the side, as he tried to avoid the green haired boys gaze, failing miserably, as he realised, that no matter where he looked, someone would be starring at him, or, atleast trying to. So he quickly turned his gaze back around, seemingly finding Midoriya's gaze more pleasant than the others'.
"Alright... I'm sorry" Todoroki spoke, barely above a whisper, as he cast his eyes downwards while keeping his head in the same position.
He barely registered the olders hand landing on his shoulder, before his voice pierced through his ears- "You don't have to be sorry, but I want you to take care of yourself. And you're not doing that right now" Todoroki looked up now, trying to locate the expression, in which Midoriya wore while saying his previous sentence, only to find it more soothing than he thought he would-
"I'll try"
...
They were about half way through the horror movie, when Midoriya realised how Todoroki were snoring softly besides him. Atleast he finally got some sleep... The youngers head were tilted back in what seemed like a really uncomfortable position, so to try and fix it, Midoriya grabbed at Todoroki's shoulders, and gently pulled him closer, so that he could be resting with his head against the armrest, while the rest of his body, were placed in Midoriya's lap, where he could keep trace of the others temperature.
He still seemed awfully cold... but the blankets didn't seem to help much, so maybe body warmth would be a better option?
When the other were placed comfortably in his lap, Midoriya turned his attention back towards the TV screen, only to watch it just in time for a new jump-scare, which made most of their classmates scream in their seats- Midoriya included. When the jump-scares effect died down a bit, he quickly glanced downwards, only to realise that their screams, had no effect on the sleeping student in his arms.
He really needed that sleep, huh?
===
25/10/2022-02/11/2022