All our lives there are so many things people get scared of. Insects, closed places, other people, the unknown. Yet fears aren't always external. Sometimes the thing we fear is within us and sometimes we fear things we don't have at all, nor we can see them anywhere else. We fear our own emotions for they can make us lose control and get out of the persona we build ourselves to be. We fear the feelings others could awaken in us and most importantly we fear the feelings they might never return.
The fear of love was something along those lines. For what was frightful about something so sweet, warm and endearing as love was? Love itself is too welcoming and kind to scare anyone however people like you, were not afraid of love itself. You weren't afraid of love but you were afraid of not being loved.
Loving and not getting it back can turn that sweetness and bliss of love into a nightmare. It can make that medicine that made your life bright, into poison with a simple change of the dose. If you love too much you will get shattered. If you are reserved in love you will always feel unfulfilled and if you don't love at all, you might as well have never lived. Love was so essential yet complicated and even if you had it, you should know how to hold it and use it in the right amount. Give as much as you get back, otherwise, you will be the one ending up with a scar. And you knew that well.
Love was as beautiful and wanted as it was dangerous and cruel, for one misstep could ruin your heart. It could wither all joy that ever existed within you. It could turn a healthy flower to its death and a dying one to its lively glory. Love was a double-edged sword and whoever was to be crazy enough to ask for it, should be prepared to face the unknown and take the possible hit of either side of her.
And maybe you were just not brave enough or not strong enough, to taste that bitter side of that blade again. You had sworn that you would never lay your heart on anyone's hands again because none could be trusted enough yet looking at him, you couldn't help but be foolish. A desire for him to be that exception rising within you.
After some seconds that you were staring at him, speechless and imprisoned to your own thoughts, Jimin left his eyes to travel to your lips again and allowed his hand to pull your body closer again, from your waist and you just kept looking at him, uttering nothing but a soft breath that escaped your lips.
"Did you hate it?" He whispered as he left his forehead resting on yours and tilted his head slightly, bringing his lips ready for another kiss, as his craving for you had not subsided. However, he couldn't help but notice the panic on your face and the way you had frozen in realization after that kiss you shared.
A kiss that had functioned as a key for him that had unlocked his fear of getting closer to you and exposing himself and had brought to the surface a veil of determination to pursue you romantically, with all he got.
"I-...no" You managed to whisper back at him, your eyes half closed as the close proximity and his breaths hitting against your lips had managed to hypnotise you again and had hazed your fear with shots of desire.
"I am glad." He left his lips to brush with yours as he spoke in a low whisper and you left your hands to travel up his shoulders and around his neck once again, your head tilting slightly to the side unconsciously to give him access to kiss you again.
"This shouldn't have happened." You uttered just as he brushed his lips against yours softly again and the feeling had your eyes close slowly, as an earning for more of him got you in its claws.
"If we are gonna pretend this never happened, might as well make sure my acting skills don't go to waste for nothing." Was all he said as he allowed himself to capture your lips once more, in a slow sensual kiss that had you digging your fingers into his hair.
The way his warmth felt like a flame of life, lighting up slowly your whole flesh with passion as he parted your lips slightly again, only for a gasping sound to leave your lips while he knitted softly on your bottom lip before letting go.
Your mind was scattered completely by his actions and you were only staring at him in a daze while with each ticking second you were realizing how wildly he had awakened your body's craving for sensualism.
"Damn you." You said just as you looked at him and a smirk formed on his lips upon hearing your words for a sense of satisfaction took the best of him, knowing that his action had pleased you highly.
Oh only if he would ever have the chance to fully show you, how many things he knew and how many tricks he could pull off his sleeve that could easily drive your feelings to euphoric bliss. However, if he was to suggest or even utter the smallest portion of the immoral things that were going on in his head, he was certain that you would not only cut him off but be offended as well. For there was not a glimpse of respect in the actions he was wishing to perform with you, one day.
"Why did you even do this?" Your question drew him out of his thoughts in which he had involuntarily gotten himself and he looked at you that now seemed a bit more clear-headed and out of the momentary daze that his kisses had gotten you into.
"This can't be happening. We-"
"We are two human beings like any other and are allowed to get carried away. So what about it?" Jimin neutralised your thoughts as he cut you off, already aware that you were regretting this for panic had taken over you visible as you had stepped away from him and were avoiding to look at him.
"Right...that...that can happen...I am sorry, I was the one I gave you the wrong impression. I really don't have any such intentions towards you. I swear...it was just...a bad moment." You took ownership of what you claimed as your mistake for you were the one that had cupped his cheek and had leaned in and you were the one that had lowered your eyes to his lips first. You couldn't blame him for taking such an action for in a way you had invited him but nonetheless, you wanted to undo it. You didn't want him to think that you have any feelings for him because you really didn't want to have any. You shouldn't. You can't.
"Why are you apologising? It's not like I had a bad time...your seduction skills are improving by the way. That sure was something." He spoke with utter delight on his face which made you think that he was mocking you, but in reality, he was just way too happy to collect his facial expressions.
For him what you made it seem like an accident was a moment he will replay in his head for a long while. It was a moment that had his heartbeat still thumping loudly in his ears and had his chest still rising and falling in an abnormal rhythm. His whole flesh was tingling with tension and the tip of his fingers felt like they would start producing an electric spark from the energy that had risen up within him. However, despite the fact that he was on cloud nine, he was not blind. He could read well your body language and the fear and uncertainty in your eyes and that was the reason he made this sound so light.
There was no point in getting you drunk in lewdness even though he was more than tempted to do it and even slipped slightly towards it. However, despite his momentary mistake driven by his want to have you, he still was aware that through his flesh, he couldn't get what he truly was desperate to get from you. Your love. Your heart.
You were not like him. You weren't one that would dive into any icy lake and search for love, ignoring all the pain that could come through the process. You weren't as crazy as him, to throw your heart at anyone's feet, in hopes they would pick it up. You were a sane person afraid to lay your feelings into anyone's palm, for they could leave your palms empty in return. While he tended to fill the palms of others with the pieces of his heart, without even expecting anything in return. Even a crumb of love used to thrill him and make him feel happy.
He was aware that none would give him back a big amount for he had no whole heart, to begin with, to give to anyone. All he had to offer was broken pieces and thus he had always been realistic enough to expect ruins back and appreciate them if they ever came at all. But with you, he knew that you had a whole heart that you were keeping safe. A love way too good and big for any of his broken pieces to ever match it.
He wanted though. For the first time in his life, he had been thinking of trying his best to do the unthinkable, simply because he wanted that transaction to happen. He wanted to lay so much of his heart onto your palms that your hands become too full to hold onto your own heart and thus trust it to him. But in order to do that, he had to find all his broken pieces and gift them all to you, no matter in what shaped they were, or what part of him they contained.
"Shut Up~" You spoke under your breath, feeling embarrassed by his words as you looked away and heard his chuckle as he placed his mask back on.
"Let's go have that dance Y/N. We didn't come here just to sneakily make out in your sister's room, now did we." He said and you instantly looked at him dumbfounded over the fact that he was really shamelessly teasing you about this.
"It was just a kiss! And it never happened!" You raised your voice at him and he casually took hold of your hand and started dragging you outside while he whispered underneath his breath something you didn't quite catch on.
It was two of the best kisses I had ever had.
---Time skip---
Jin growled in irritation as his doorbell kept ringing, distracting him from some paperwork he was doing on his desk while eating his dinner under the dim light of the lamp he had left on.
"Who the heck is it at such an hour?" He spoke to himself as he stood up, taking along with him the pen he had on his fingers.
Jimin most likely isn't home yet from that party.
He thought to himself as he was more than aware of his whereabouts and was waiting for a text message from him just to assure him that nothing was going out of the ordinary. So far he had gotten none though but he was pretty calm regardless since he knew that he was with you and if the need may arise, you would definitely contact him.
"Who is it?" He asked once he halted by his door and looked at the eye hole, only to see black. As if someone had placed something for him to not be able to see.
"This is the police. Please open up!" A voice spoke on the other side, making his face instantly portray confusion but he proceeded to open up his door nonetheless and come face to face with three men, one of that showed him a badge.
"We got an anonymous call that reported the possession of illegal substances in apartment 2453 owned by Park Jimin. Do you perhaps happen to know his whereabouts?"The man questioned him, just as another one was waving behind him a search warrant letter that instantly fell on Jin's notice.
"What kind of nonsense is this? There's no such thing in his apartment." He uttered, avoiding replying to the question that they asked of him.
The policeman just looked him in the eyes for a moment, taking the hint of the shock that had remained in Jin's orbs from the statement he had made, before he turned around and gave his order to his men.
"Let's break in."
They walked away after that and Jin stood by his doorstep slightly taken aback by everything that was going on. Regardless he was aware that the police officers rang his door knowing who he was to Jimin and knowing the fact that he was also his lawyer. If he was to give any strong reactions he could be taken as someone that had something to hide.
However, what was the scariest part to him was that he himself was not aware if he indeed had anything to hide. Were there really any illegal drug substances in Jimin's apartment? And if yes who had gotten them in there and mastered to frame him like this? For he was certain that Jimin had no such things in his possession but nothing could assure him that the police will indeed not find anything.
What was there that he could do to stop them when they already had a search warrant and most likely were looking forward to uncovering the supposed dirty deeds of one more star?
What do I do? I need to do something. If whoever is after him, has somehow managed to build this trap for him and we fell on it...Jimin will be imprisoned.
His career will be really over, his whole will be going down in ruins...this could really be the ultimate scandal to take him down.
---To be continued...