A.N.:
Hello, I don't know if everyone has noticed that chapter 15 is online. If not, feel free to check it out before then :)
I would be really happy if you leave votes, comments and feedback.
Have fun reading. <3
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[POV Harry]
Back from Paris, it was straight back to the daily routine. Which consisted of going back to school and then taking part in football training. I'm taking it a bit slower though because my ankle is still a little bit sore.
Today is Thursday and therefore also the day of the new round of Mr McLean's competition, who told us only yesterday in class how excited he was about the new performances. Louis and I met last night to rehearse our song even more and to improve some parts. And what can I say? I love this song. Afterwards we watched a film together in his room and exchanged some endearments, but we were interrupted by Phoebe and Lottie who wanted to watch the film too. We couldn't even hold hands secretly because Louis' youngest sister had sat down between us and snuggled up to her brother. So after the film Grease ended, I went home and was of course grilled by my mother about where I had been.
As usual, the students has already taken their seats and even we candidates are just waiting for it to begin. Louis will accompany us on the white piano, which is already in the stands. Mr McLean enters the stage and the other teachers from the judges take their places. Once again he explains the rules and how the voting for the teams works before he leaves the stage and the first couple gets ready for their performance. One by one they all come on and when Louis' and my names are called, my heart actually stops for a moment. Only when Louis puts his hand on my back and leads me to the podium does my heartbeat calm down a little and the trembling of my hands also diminishes. "You can do it," he murmurs in my ear before sitting down at the musical instrument and giving me an encouraging smile. I stand behind the microphone stand and almost cling to it as if my life hangs on it. The lights dim, my gaze slides once more to Louis, who nods once to me before he presses the first keys of the piano and the auditorium is filled with soft tones. I close my eyes, exhale shakily once more before I sing the first words into the microphone and open my eyes again, only to see that the dimmed light is now green and blue.
People say we shouldn't be together
Too young to know about forever
But I say they don't know
What they're talk', talk', talking about (talk', talk', talking about)
'Cause this love is only gettin' stronger
So I don't wanna wait any longer
I just wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl, oh
They don't know about the things we do
They don't know about the I love you's
But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)
They would just be jealous of us
They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right (they don't know)
Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us
One touch and I was a believer
Every kiss, it gets a little sweeter
It's getting better
Keeps getting better all the time, girl
They don't know about the things we do
They don't know about the I love you's
But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)
They would just be jealous of us
They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right (they don't know)
Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us
They don't know how special you are
They don't know what you've done to my heart
They can say anything they want
'Cause they don't know about us
They don't know what we do best
That's between me and you, our little secret
But I wanna tell 'em
I wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl
They don't know about the things we do
They don't know about the I love you's (I love you)
But I bet you if they only knew (if they only knew)
They would just be jealous of us (they would just be jealous of us)
They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right (it feels so right)
Baby, they don't know about
They don't know about the things we do ('bout us)
They don't know about the I love you's ('bout us)
But I bet you if they only knew ('bout us)
They would just be jealous of us
They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us
They don't know about us
The audience bursts into applause and before I know it, the Doncaster has pulled me into his arms. "You were incredible, Love!" he whispers to me before he breaks away from me and shows his radiant smile. "So were you," I simply reply. Together we go back to our seats and are immediately congratulated by Liam and Zayn for the successful performance. Niall is next, which is why he wasn't with the others.
After the competition, we make our way to the cafeteria. To be honest, I haven't eaten all day because of my excitement and I'm even happier now that it's lunch break. I thought about going outside, because with the other boys I often feel like the last wheel on the wagon, even though Louis tries to make me feel welcome. But I've never had anything to do with the others before. For Liam and Zayn, I was just a punching bag when they were annoyed or just needed to vent their frustrations. So it's understandable if I'm wary of them, isn't it? They haven't done anything for a while, but I'm still afraid of doing something wrong or saying something that irritates one of them or even both of them and the next moment I'm lying on the floor with new haematomas. I really don't want that. I'd rather keep a low profile. Niall, on the other hand, is much more likeable to me, but even with him I can't be who I really am yet.
"I-I think I'll leave you a-all alone now," I stammer and could slap myself for it. Why am I stuttering? Annoyed with myself and somewhat ashamed, I stare at the floor. The others have stopped in the meantime and their stares are literally burned into me. "Nonsense, you're coming with us," the Irishman says simply and puts an arm around my shoulder before pulling me towards the canteen. Sighing, I look up again and look directly into Louis' worried face. 'Are you okay?' he forms with his lips, which I dismiss with a nod and give him a put-on smile, which is probably more like a grimace. He only pulls his eyebrows together and continues to look at me worriedly before he is engaged in conversation by Zayn and Liam.
In the canteen, we immediately join the queue for the food counter. That's one reason why I prefer to take my food from home, but unfortunately I had dawdled a lot today and hadn't managed to prepare anything. With our trays, we then go to the table where the rest of the football team is sitting. Niall immediately squeezes in next to me and the others have to sit opposite us. Disappointed, the blue-eyed lad looks at me. I am quite aware that he wanted to sit next to me and I would have been really happy about that. But of course I have nothing against Niall either. So my friend sits down opposite me and crosses our legs under the table, which again puts a big smile on his face.
The topic is football as usual, but they also talk about today's competition and who they will vote for, but Liam's statement gets our immediate attention. "So sometimes you'd think you were pregnant Harry." he laughs, shaking his head in amusement. I stare at him with wide eyes and raise my eyebrows in confusion, which he seems to have noticed. I don't look at Louis at first, I'm too afraid of his expression, because after all there is a possibility that there is truth in Liam's statement. But I secretly hope not. "Well, you eat weird dish combinations," he starts, pointing disgustedly at my tray. On it is a small pizza of salami, a banana, which I put on the pizza, a salad and for the dessert I have chocolate pudding, which I wanted to try with tomatoes from the salad, because I can imagine that it tastes really good. "I don't know what you've got. It tastes really good. Do you want to try it?" I mumble and want to tear off a piece of pizza with the bananas on it and give it to Liam. But he just shakes his body in disgust. Pouting because it tastes really good, I hold the piece of pizza out to the other three, but they all look at it repulsively.
When I put it down again, Louis takes it out of my hand and eats it. You can tell he's struggling not to spit it out, which makes me giggle. "Tastes good?", I ask him with shining eyes. I really almost started crying when no one wanted to try the piece. Maybe that's why Louis just ate it. "Excellent. But nothing I would eat again," he replies and happily I continue eating the pudding with the tomatoes. Meanwhile, I don't notice how Louis downs all his drink and quickly eats some of his food so that the taste of my pizza disappears. "You see, Liam ? I'm not pregnant," I address him again. "Then you're constantly nauseous and dizzy and vomiting a lot," he continues, which I dismiss with a roll of my eyes, muttering softly that it's because of the weather. "And in the last few days you've become much more emotional," he adds. "I'm not," I counter immediately. "I agree with Liam," Niall joins in.
"I'm not." - "You started crying because Louis shared food with you and let's not forget the moment we were watching a comedy on the ferry and you started crying for no reason," the Irishman argues. "It's just that no one has ever shared food with me before and the only reason I was crying about the comedy was because she let her fish into the sea to give him more space. Mind you, that was her best friend," I try to defend myself, but I can't stop myself from crying silently the next moment. The Irish-born lad pulls me close to him and strokes my back. He looks at the others for help, but they only watch the interaction with a smirk. Although Louis looks at me worriedly. "You do understand me, don't you Niall?", I look up at him with teary eyes. "Do you?", I question again. Niall nods frantically and hugs me again. 'Help me ! What should I do ?' he breathes to the others. Zayn and Liam have long since burst out laughing, which brings the others from the team to our attention.
"Pregnant. That's what I said," Liam says again, so that even everyone at the table can hear it. "It wouldn't be surprising, the way he jumps into bed with random boys so often. It's not for nothing that there are rumours," Chris says with a laugh, some of them agreeing with him. Louis' confused gaze first wanders to Chris before he meets me again and looks at me questioningly, perhaps a little hurt. He probably wanted to know if there was any truth to it, which of course there isn't. For me, there is only him. "You're acting like my older sister did when she was expecting my nephew," Liam continues. "I'm not pregnant," I almost shout at him, which silences him in response. "Then he's even more of a freak than he already is," Gregory starts. I sigh and stare at the table. Tears run continuously down my cheeks. "Hey, watch what you're saying," Louis says. "Of course faggot has to get involved now," Adrian now joins in. "First of all, he's not a freak if he has the opportunity to have children of his own. If you haven't known, it's quite normal that even men can have children," my boyfriend begins. "And secondly, I'm not a faggot." Adrian is about to start talking again when Louis stands up, grabs his bag and mine and pulls me outside with him. The other three follow us after they have taken our trays away.
Not much else happened at school. I couldn't really concentrate any more either, because the more I think about Liam's words, the more it makes sense. Sighing, I drop onto my bed and stare at the white ceiling. I can't be pregnant. I just can't be. That would be a disaster. Unnoticed, I place my left hand on my stomach and gently stroke it with my fingers. I look back over the last few months.
I only found out that I could have children of my own in May, after Louis and I had already had something going on since March. So far I haven't told him, too afraid that he would find me repulsive, not want to have anything to do with me, and in the worst case he would tell people at school. Since the conversation today in the canteen, I realised that I should have told him about it, because what if it's true? What if we are really expecting a baby?
Why didn't it occur to me right away that I could be pregnant when I got the first symptoms at the beginning of July ? It should have been clear to me then that something was wrong. The nausea, the dizziness, the vomiting and the, as Liam called them, strange dish combinations were clear indications that it could actually only be a pregnancy.
I run my hands through my hair in despair and single sobs leave my lips. I've messed up. A big one, in fact. It's not like Louis and I didn't use contraception. Because we do every time. So if I really am pregnant, then a condom must have broken.
How am I supposed to explain that to Louis? He won't understand. I'm ruining his future. His desire to become a footballer would be ruined, wouldn't it ?
Not to mention my mother, who would kick me out if she found out she was going to be a grandmother. It's one thing that I like boys, but a baby? Two things she detests and finds disgusting. Accordingly, she will also loathe me and find me disgusting if it is true. She will throw me out of the house. I'll ruin her reputation.
Oh, damn it!
Harry, what have you done?
I grab my laptop from the desk and sit back on the bed with it. I need to talk to someone about this. And that's Gemma. I just hope she doesn't have a lecture and a short time to Skype.
Shortly afterwards, my sister appears on the screen with a big grin, but it disappears immediately when I burst into tears.
"Oh God. What happened, H?" she asks, directly concerned.
But I can't answer. I try, but only sounds of some kind come out of my mouth, so Gemma talks to me soothingly. But it takes longer than expected until I have calmed down a bit and can form a sentence again.
"What's wrong?" she asks again, concern written all over her face.
"I- I scre-screwed up," I stammer.
"I can't imagine that," she admits and gives me an encouraging smile.
"Yes you can, you're going to hate me. And Mum. And Louis...", I answer, getting quieter and quieter as time goes by.
"Louis ?" she asks, surprised. I hadn't told her yet that we were together. Somehow it hadn't come up.
"He's my boyfriend.", I admit, and the next moment burst into tears again. Who knows how much longer he will be.
"That's great, H. But I'm pretty worried right now. What's going on ? Did he do something ? Did he hurt you? Touched you when you didn't want him to?" she asks, slowly getting angry.
"No, no he didn't," I mumble.
"I think I'm pregnant," I blurt out, the next stream of tears seeking their way down my cheeks.
Gemma looks at me in bewilderment and if I'm not mistaken, some colour has disappeared from her face.
"I'm sorry.", I just hiccup and keep brushing my tears from my cheeks, which doesn't really help because some immediately follow.
"You...you're what?" she breathes, looking at me speechless.
"Bloody hell...." she continues to mumble, running her hands over her face once before taking a deep breath.
"Harry...you're sixteen !" she exclaims and gets up to walk up and down the room.
It is silent for a while. I continue to cry and Gemma mumbles something under her breath that I can't understand.
"Okay." she says and sits back down in front of the laptop. "Have you done a test yet?"
Shaking my head, I answer her.
"Have you bought one yet ?" - "If people see me buying a pregnancy test, I might as well go and bury myself. You know they tell Mum everything straight away," I mutter.
"I guess you're right," she mumbles before continuing. "There should still be some in my bathroom. Under the sink in the cupboard. - "Okay. Will you wait until I've done them so I don't have to look at the results alone?" I ask uncertainly, which makes her smile slightly. "Of course, we'll get through this together Haz," she assures me.
I leave the laptop and with shaky legs make my way to Gemma's bathroom, where I find the tests straight away and take them into my bathroom. There I unpack these tests from the packs and read through the pack insert before doing them and then setting an alarm for myself. With wobbly legs I walk back to my laptop and put the tests upside down on my bedside table.
"Well?" - "We still have to wait," I answer her through the screen. Nervously I play with my fingers and try to mute the thousands of questions in my head, but unfortunately it doesn't work. Only the sound of my alarm clock pulls me out of my thoughts. I quickly turn it off and then stare at Gemma. "I'm scared, Gems," I mumble, already fighting back tears. "I know, Haz. But no matter what comes out now, we'll get through this together, okay ? I'll always be by your side." I quickly nod and grab the two tests before turning them over and staring at the result.
Positive.
I'm fucked.
After a while of questioning my life, I look back at my sister, who can tell immediately from the expression on my face that I am indeed pregnant.
"It's going to be alright Harry." - "I'm not so sure about that," I sob, throwing the tests away from me. I don't want to see them right now. As I sob, Gemma talks to me, assuring me that she is there for me and stands behind every decision I make.
"Try to make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible," she continues talking, which makes me nod.
"I'll come home for the weekend and then we'll tell Mum together, okay ?" but I shake my head.
"You don't have to come home. I can go to the doctor on my own and I'm not ready to tell Mum yet."
"And what about Louis?"
Yeah, what about Louis? Of course I'll tell him about it, but only after the doctor's appointment. I can't do it before then.
"I'll tell him soon."
"He has a right to know, Harry."
"I know. I won't keep it from him. I wouldn't be able to."
"Okay, promise me no matter what that you will call me yes ?"
I nod and hang up after we say goodbye.
That means Liam's hunch has come true.
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A.N.:
What do you think of the chapter ?
What do you think about Louis standing up for Harry ?
Can you understand Harry not telling Louis yet that he can get pregnant ?
How do you think Louis will react?
Do you think Anne will react the way Harry thinks she will?
Do you think Harry will keep the baby?
What could be a reason for a separation/relationship break ? (if it comes into effect)
What do you think of the book/the story so far? What do you like/what don't you like? What can I improve/add ? What was your favourite moment so far ? (I would be very interested in this and I would be very happy if you would answer me. Merci <3 )
Feel free to let me know !
Helloooooo,
actually I wanted to write and post the chapter yesterday. But yesterday I banged my elbow so much that it got swollen and blue and hurt with every movement. But today it's much better again :))
Though I'm unsure what to make of this chapter...idk. But I still hope you guys like it. <3
❀ I would really appreciate votes and comments. ❀
Yours svftlouis