I adjust my robe as the director talks to Damon and I about what he wants from this scene, "You have a friendship, use that, please, we can't keep reshooting this scene."
I look at Damon and punch his arm, "It's his fault." He frowns, "Nuh-uh." Leo, the director, rolls his eyes, "You both are children, please, just do this." I nod and we move to the set.
So we're on the last few scenes of the movie but we've been stuck on this scene because Damon can't act right. It's a love scene, well sex scene, we're in our underwear making out like the teenagers we are and then things turn kinda spicy, so basically we're pretend fucking but we can't take it seriously like at all, we've been told what to do and all but we just can't stop laughing when it gets to the sex part of the scene, it's funny for many reasons, and if you've read up to this point you can put two and two together.
"Okay get ready we start in two!" Jack yells and I move to my side of the room slipping off my robe, "You look pretty as always." I roll my eyes as one of the workers on set tries to flirt with me again, I'm nice most of the time but this particular guy couldn't catch the hint if it hit him square in the nose, feeling uncomfortable I walk over to Damon, "Get this right, I can feel his eyes fucking me from here." He smiles and adjusts my bra strap, "I got you, babe, come on."
We've had to film about three to four sex scenes already and every scene is more difficult than the last, we're either in the wrong position, not close enough, laughing, or just not into the scene, it's frustrating for the directors but they understand, kinda, they are open-minded about it, I'm just happy to be here because working with Damon has been a lot more fun than I anticipated it to be.
I sit on the bed and Damon sits beside me, "Let's get this over with." I squint at him, he won't make it through this shoot, so I wager him, "First to laugh owes the other person a hundred bucks." The smile spreads slowly, we are both competitive as shit, he shakes my hand once, "You're on, mama."
"And action!"
I place my hand on his thigh, switching with ease between real life and my character, "May, maybe we shouldn't." I roll my eyes pushing my hair behind my ear before moving to straddle him, I smile on the verge of laughing, and his hands stay at his side as my voice turns breathy and pleading, "Don't think, just, fuck me, Jack, please." He sighs and leans up slowly, I dip my head the rest of the way to kiss him, his hands rest on the bed and I move them to cup my ass, he groans and squeezes. We pull apart and look at each other, this was supposed to be an intense moment but Damon cracks and ducks his head down laughing, his shoulders shaking as his words stumble out, nearly incoherent, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I start laughing, my head falling back as my eyes close, "Fuck yeah I'm a hundred bucks richer."
Leo sighs, "Cut!" My shoulders shake with a silent laugh as an angry Leo approaches us, I cover my mouth with my hand to hide my smile, "Do we need to call in stunt doubles for this scene?" He gives us a minute and we sober up, avoiding each other's eyes, "We're sorry, really, we can just move on to the sex scene, right? I mean you should have enough shots of us making out." Leo sighs but nods, he has a small smile on his lips, one that I'm sure he doesn't know is there, "Yeah, let's just move on."
We nod again moving, I slip down my bra hands, needing to give the impression that I'm naked under the sheets, Damon and I duck under the covers and I adjust them over us as he situates himself between my legs, "This shit's weird." I smile, shrugging, "Suck it up big guy, if we can get through this then we won't have to do it again, it's the last sex scene." He frowns and leans down to adjust himself, I move to give him enough space to move around, and he moves his arms resting them by my side, and drops his weight on me, Leo comes over making sure we're exactly where he wants us before stepping away and yelling action.
I throw my head back a smile on my face, shit, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, I've never been more glad that the camera isn't on my face before, "Oh fuck Jack, yes!" He moves his face to my neck and chuckles, before moving his head back up and wiping a stray hair away from my face, "So fucking beautiful."
"Cut!" Damon attempts to roll off me but Leo tells him to stay put as he walks up, "Okay, I need you to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in, kiss him, bite his lip you know things people do when they're having scandalous sex." I nod, as he turns his attention to Damon, "Damon, I need you to move your hips faster and scoot just a bit closer, let's get this over with, we can edit it and make it seem longer." We nod and he motions for the camera to move in closer, "Action."
I smile looking at Damon, who winks, I wrap my arms around his neck and throw my head back letting out an exaggerated moan, and he groans pulling me closer, the camera pans from different angles for about five minutes, Damon and I just do what we do best and try not to laugh, one fake orgasm later I'm standing and getting dressed, "What are you doing?" I sigh stepping into my pants, "We have to get back to the rest." He nods and stands up copying my movements, "Cut." I smile and high-five Damon, grateful to have gotten through this scene.
The lot erupts in cheers as Damon and I do mock bows, we laugh and I catch Leo rolling his eyes, "Okay people, we officially have three more scenes to end the movie."
I wiggle my hips excitedly, this would be my first movie and lord am I ready to see it, "Okay let's shoot the next scene." I groan, "Can we take a break? We've been shooting for hours already." Leo gives me a pointed look, "And who's fault is that?"
I pout and he sighs, "Alright, half an hour break, but no leaving set." I smile and bounce to Damon, "Logan's bringing me sushi, want some?" He shakes his head, "Nope." We walk to my trailer, "I don't understand why you'd subject yourself to eating raw fish." I roll my eyes walking into the trailer.
"Doll, Damon." I smile at Logan turning to wipe the smudged makeup off my face, "Hey Joe." He hands a bag to Damon, "Here's your burger." I scoff, typical behavior, this man is meant to be on a diet, "Aren't you meant to be laying off the calories?" He mimics me, rolling his eyes, "Shut up, it's a vegan burger." I laugh and Logan places my sushi box in front of me, dipping down to kiss my cheek, "Here you go dollface." I glance at Damon through the mirror trying to see if he saw that but he's not paying attention.
I smile, "Thanks, hun." I lean into him pressing his cheek to mine, "Why do you enable her?" I frown turning in my seat to face Damon, "Because I'm his favorite, isn't that right Joe?" He smiles and pops a piece of sushi in his mouth before sitting on the couch, "I don't understand how you eat sushi." I roll my eyes, "Shut up already and let me enjoy this." He passes his burger to Logan, "Alright, I need to go get my makeup retouched, see you on set." I nod as he leaves.
I moan when I put a piece of sushi in my mouth, "For fuck sake, thank you for this Joe." He nods, "Are we still on for Friday?" I glance at him through the mirror, "Friday? I don't know Joe, I might be busy." He frowns, "But you said we could go on a date." I smile glancing at the clock, fifteen minutes left, "Logan I'm busy, okay? I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you."
I open the trailer door just in time for one of the people to bring me the dress I'm using for the next scene, "Thanks." I close the door and strip out of the underwear, "You can't keep canceling on me, Jackie." I put on the black mini dress and search for the stilettos I threw around from the scene before this, "Jesus, fuck where is it?" Logan scoffs, "Here." I flash him a smile taking it from him before slipping my feet into my slipper, "I left my robe! Joe!"
Logan shakes his head, "Fuck your robe Jackie, listen to me for a goddamn minute." I still, turning to him, "We don't talk to each other like that." He huffs, "And we don't cancel dates either, but here we are." I pause, and he apologizes.
I didn't mean to tell him we would go on a date, it's a Friday for fuck sake I have an hour-long therapy session in the afternoon, and I'd be too mentally drained to function.
Tears gather over the frustration and because he yelled at me, I hate getting yelled at, "Jesus Jackie, don't cry." With therapy I've been shown a whole new world, I'm dealing with emotions upright rather than stuffing them down and waiting for later, "You yelled at me, how can I not cry?" He stands up and crosses the trailer in a step before hugging me, "I'm sorry, I was frustrated because this is the third time you've canceled a date this month." I sigh and pull away glancing at the clock.
I can't deal with this right now, "Is my makeup okay?" He gapes at me, "What?" I sigh grabbing my shoes, "I need to be on set in five minutes." He stares at me blankly, and I sigh stroking his cheek, "I want to have this conversation but I'm needed, stay okay? When I come back we'll talk more." I leave before I can hear his reply and dash for the set.
"There she is!" I wave holding on to Damon as I change into my heels, the set is full of strangers now, the extras for this scene, it's going to be a bar scene, Jack has just cheated on his girlfriend of two years with May, and now their heading to meet their friends because May is a friend of his girlfriend, honestly, the movie seemed like it's going to be great but the topics it covers? Ruthless.
"Sorry, sorry, I was stuffing sushi in my mouth." The extras laugh and I smile, "Okay I'm ready now." Leo shakes his head before walking me and Damon towards the door, "Okay, so Jackie, you're going to be touchy right? And you aren't going to mind it, Damon, it'll be a whole thing with your girlfriend where you squabble a bit." I frown resting my hands on my hips, "Wait, what if I'm not touchy? I think that'll have more of an impact in this scene since my character usually has no boundaries so it makes more sense that his girlfriend would be mad that I'm not being touchy with him as much because then she'd suspect something." Damon nods, "Well yeah, that makes sense, okay, let's run that idea and see how that pans out on camera, and then we'll change it around to see what works best if it doesn't work."
Damon and I position ourselves out of the frame and when Leo calls to action, we walk into the frame with me staying as far away from him as possible, he speaks, "Are you going to avoid me now? May, come on." He grabs my arm halting our movements and I frown, I love this so much, "Jack please, we fucked, don't make this something it isn't." He nods, dropping his hand before holding the door open for me, I put on a fake smile and walk across the bar to our friends, "Hiya loves!"
I move away from him as quickly as possible, taking a seat next to my other love interest, but that storyline is more of unrequited love, "Hi May!" The table echoes and I make a show of talking and touching everyone but Damon, the girlfriend notices and they squabble with whispered voices for a bit before she glares at me, I smile at her, "Did you fuck my boyfriend?"
I look up at her shocked and then glance at Damon, I wish I didn't, the camera is zoomed in on me and the rest are choking on their laughter cause Damon thought it'd be funny to make faces, I stutter before laughing, "For fuck sake cut!" I playfully glare at him because now we're going to get a lecture from Leo.
"Leo! I'm so sorry, it was all Damon I swear!" he frowns storming over, "You both need to cut the shit, you've fucked up more today than in the last six months of filming." I cringe, smiling, "Soften up Lee, we're just really sad that filming's coming to an end." I swing an arm around him and he smiles rubbing his eyes, "Okay, whatever, let's get this done with so we can call it a day."
***********
"Bye!" I call to Damon as he drives off, I unlock the door and take my shoes off as I step inside, "Mmmm." I moan with relief.
I didn't like the hotel experience and I require a lot more privacy than Damon so I rented out a small, cozy Airbnb to stay in while he stays at a hotel and basks in the flashing lights of the paparazzi.
"Jack?"
I smile hanging my coat and following the smell of food to the kitchen, I wrap my arms around his waist and place a kiss on his bare back, he looks over his shoulder and gives me a dazzling smile, "Hi princess." I detach myself finding a seat on the counter, "What're you making?" He stirs the pot, "Your favorite."
I hum leaning forward, watching him cook, silence blankets us and my mind drifts to the fight we had, I push it out of my mind allowing myself to be mesmerized by the way his arms and back flex with each movement, and my lips curve upwards softly, he's so beautiful.
He glances back turning the stove off, "Stop looking at me like that." I rest my chin on my clasped hands, "Like what?" He serves the food and places a plate in front of me, "Shut up and eat." I chuckle waiting on him to sit so we could eat together, "How was the rest of the day?" I moan as the flavor hits my tongue, "God, I love shrimp linguine." He sighs pushing his food around before setting his fork down, he's still upset which is understandable but I don't know how to work around this, I don't want to tell him I'm in therapy, he might think less of me, I sigh running a hand down my face, "Jackie, we need to talk."
I nod setting my fork down, "That we do." I roll my top lip into my mouth before speaking, "I don't mean to cancel on you, my schedule is just-" He cuts me off, "Really hectic? Busy? Me too Jackie, I'm a model but I find time in between to spend time with you because that's what boyfriends do, fuck that, I do it because that's what I want to do, I want to spend time with you but you're never there, even when we're together your mind is everywhere but there."
I swallow and lean back in my seat, "Don't raise your voice at me." He flexes his jaw, "I'll do what I goddamn well want because you seem to." I close my eyes and grind my teeth, "I canceled one date Logan what's the problem?" He frowns staring at me, "One date? You've canceled the last six dates we planned, three of which were your idea, three of which were this month alone." I stare at him, hesitating, "So? You have a busy schedule too, you know how hard it is to get out of stuff."
His body sags, "You don't mean that." I don't, but he's being unreasonable, "I schedule our dates for Friday, you're never on set on Fridays, I match our schedules perfectly Jackie, but goddamn it, I can't be the only one trying here."
I push my plate going to stand, "I've lost my appetite, goodnight." He shakes his head, "Sit the fuck down, we aren't done here, you can't keep canceling and not giving me a reason like I'm fucking second choice or something." He pauses, contemplating his words, "Is that what this is J? Am I second to someone else?" I roll my eyes at his assumptions, his nostrils flare as he matches me with an unwavering stare, "Are you cheating on me, Jackie? Because that'll be fucked up."
I stall, my throat closing, clamming up as the words float away from me, I blink a couple of times, "What?" He sighs clasping his hands in front of him, staring down at them, "Are you seeing someone else?"
"No, of course not."
He nods, pausing to collect himself, when he meets my eyes there are tears gathered, "Do you want to break up now? It'll be smoother, less drama and we could still be friends, it wouldn't affect the group as you and Matthew did." My breathing is erratic, my eyes sting and my heart feels heavy, I don't want to, I don't want him with anyone else, "What? What did you just say?" A tear trails down his cheek and he wipes at it, meeting my eyes, looking heartbroken, "Do you-" I hold a finger up, not wanting to hear it, "Shut up. Shut. Up. I heard you the first time. You don't get to throw that word around loosely, I don't have time for dates anymore, ask me why don't jump to fucking conclusions, don't assume I don't want this anymore, and don't assume I don't want you anymore, you fucking asshole!"
He sighs, collecting himself but keeping his tone even and hard, "Don't yell at me, Jackie! What am I meant to do? Huh? You're off doing whatever the fuck it is you do and I thought you'd tell me when you're ready, but you didn't! You can't shut people out of your life and expect them to be there when you're ready! You can't shut me out of your life and expect me to wait for you!" I swipe at my cheeks furiously, "Fuck you."
He takes a deep breath, "I want to be there J, I want to love you, hell I do love you, but I need you to be there too, to want to love me too because I can't do this one-sided shit, I've done it before and I can't do it again, not with you." I run a hand through my hair, "I'll tell you." He nods motioning for me to sit, "No thanks, uhm." I stutter trying to find the right words, but I can't so I blurt it all out, "I'm in therapy, Matthew threw me for a loop, he chucked me over the fucking edge so now I'm in therapy, every Friday for about an hour, and I'm emotionally drained afterward that's why I reschedule."
He stares up at me, looking confused, "Why not tell me?" I sigh, "I don't want you to fix me, Logan, I want you to be with me because you want to, not because you want to fix me, but also because I didn't want to seem broken to you."
I never wanted to leave him or for him to leave me so I kept it a secret, I care about Logan deeply, and it'd hurt more if he thought I was some broken thing, I didn't need his pity, I didn't want it, he sighs, "This is going to sound insensitive but I'm trying to understand this, so what about sex? We had a healthy sex life but I haven't kissed you in two weeks." I sigh, "I'm never in the mood anymore, I'm focused on being better." He nods looking away from me, his eyes rimmed red and I see him wipe the tears from his face, "Let's take a break J, that way you can focus on yourself and get healthy without the burden of a relationship, and afterward we can start this up again when you know you're ready." I shake my head, "No, this is normal, Joe, couples fight all the time, they don't break up because of it."
He sighs, "Couples also communicate but we haven't, not for a while." I frown, "Then we'll work on it, together, the way we always do." I try to stop the break in my voice but it doesn't work, "Don't leave me, Logan, don't because if you walk now we are never going to work out." He wipes his eyes standing up and my heart constricts, "Is there anything else I need to know?" I shake my head, "Therapy, that's it." He frowns, "And you're going to be more open with me? We're going to have better communication?" I smile softly, "I'm working on it."
He sighs, "I lost my appetite." I nod, the smile slipping, "Yeah, I'm sorry Joe, I wanted to work through it myself." He waves me off, putting the food in a container, "I know, but you don't need to, not anymore at least, I mean I'm here now." I nod, "So you aren't leaving me?" He sets the box in the fridge and turns to me, staring at me for a moment then he shakes his head, running a hand down his face, "God I love you, I love you so much."
I suck in a breath, taken aback by his declaration and the way he looks at me, I heard it when he said it earlier, but I assumed it was a heat of the moment thing, "That's not what I asked." He nods, " But that's what I said, I love you, I love you so much, I can't leave you, you hurting, hurts me, I want you to know that." I nod, the smile on my face taking up the bottom half, "I hate you." He smiles, "Still?" I nod, "Always." He steps toward me and hugs me, I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze, his hand resting on my neck massaging the skin and I hum in delight.
"I want to get matching tattoos."