I'm wakened by my phone buzzing on my bedside table. It's my mom. I've not called her in a couple of weeks so she'll be worried.
"Hello mom"
"Hello starnger, everything okay? I've not heard from you...your grandma is also worried"
"I'm sorry, I've just had a lot of work at Uni. Are you both okay?"
"Of course, how is the assignments going?"
"They are fine, a bit hectic because the end of term is coming but it's okay"
"Okay, remember I'm expecting you for a week in summer"
"I know mom, I'll be home"
"I love you baby, speak soon"
"Love you too mom"
I hang up the phone, rubbing my eyes to try help me wake up. Its only 8am. I have class at 12. Only three more days to go until I'm finished for summer. I also only have three days to decide if I'm going away with Lou. I can hear Jess fumbling around in the kitchen. She's like a wrecking ball sometimes.
I walk out of my room to see Jess making breakfast.
"Are you hungry? I've made you some"
"Thank you, I need to talk to you about something"
She looks at me with a worried look on her face. We sit down in the living room while eating breakfast.
"You know the other night when me and Lou came back here after the party"
She rolls her eyes "of course, you both aren't very discreet"
I laugh "Sorry" I take a mouthful of food "she asked me to go away with her this summer"
She looks exited "to where"
"California, what do you think?"
"I think that's amazing, whats the problem?"
"I don't know, I feel hesistant..."
"I think you should do it, go and enjoy yourself...you deserve it, I'm sure she'll look after you"
I smile "I don't need anyone to look after me Jess" I take another mouthful of food "I'm meant to be going back home for a week in summer"
"I know you don't, Go home before you go with Lou"
"Maybe" I finish my food.
I take my empty plate through to the kitchen and wash it. I look at my phone, I have a text from Lou.
"Have you had any thoughts about California? X"
"You'll have to wait and see x"
"I'll see you after Uni sweetheart x"
I quickly get ready for Uni, I stop for a coffee on the way. The same coffee shop me and Lou had been at previously. I have three classes today, each of them almost 2 hours long. I start to count down the hours until I get to see Lou. I try to imagine us in Califnoria together, how exciting it will be to be with her...just me and her. I end up having lunch with Beth today, we go to the local bagle shop and get one each. We eat them on the way back to our classes.
"How have you been?" I ask her
"Im good, how are you?"
"Yeah I'm good too" I smile at her
"How are you and Lou getting on?" She takes a bite of her bagle
"There's no me and Lou, we are just friends...shes asked me to go away with her this summer"
"Listen, friends don't look at each other like the way you and her do. Have you not seen the way her eyes light up when she looks at you?"
"I have but I'm scared to get hurt so I pretend I don't see it...you know"
"I know"
She links her arm into mine and we walk back to Uni together. Beth is someone I feel comfortable talking to, even though I've only known her for a little while. I check my watch to see the time, I only have one hour left to go until I can leave.
Finally it's time to leave, I walk out the main doors linked into Jess's arm. As we walk towards the exit gates I see a familure face. It's Lou, she has a smirk on her face. She's leaning against her motorbike.
"Hello beautiful, care for a ride"
I turn to say bye to Jess, she laughs and shouts bye as she's walking away with Beth.
Lou grabs a hold of my t-shirt and pulls me close, she kisses my lips. I can feel people's stares burning through us. I feel her lips start to smile as we are kissing. She hands me a spare helmet and steadies the bike as I climb on.
"Remember, hold tight love"
I laugh "don't worry, I remember"
I wrap my arms around her waist as she speeds us away. We pull up to her place. She gets off the bike then she helps me get off.
"Thank you"
She gestures for me to walk first into her place. It's empty, everyone is out.
"Where is everyone?" I say as I look around for any sight of her friends.
She throws her keys down on a coffee table "They are away for the night, I thought I could make you dinner" she opens the fridge "we have plenty of food, would you like that?"
"I would love that, thank you" I walk towards her "let me help you"
She laughs "I don't think I've ever heard you talk about cooking, never mind seen you make anything"
I push her gently "Excuse me, actually I'm a very good cook"
She looks at me and chuckles while leaning against the fridge "what do you cook?"
"I make a great..." quickly trying to think of something "breakfast, I make a really mean bacon role" I try to hold my laughter in
"You can make me one of those bacon roles tomorrow morning then sweetheart"
I rais an eyebrow "I'm staying tonight then am I"
"Yes, you are staying tonight..." she looks over at me as she's getting food out the fridge "you have a problem with that?" Her tone suddenly dominant.
"No, not a problem"
"Good, now get over here and help me" she pulls me over to her. She hands me some patatos for me to chop up for her.
"What are you making?"
I look over at her standing beside me and accidently cut my finger on the knife.
"Shit, that hurt" I quickly move over to the sink and run my finger under the cold water.
"What happened?" She's towering over me trying to see my finger
"I cut it on the knife, that's all"
She quickly goes into a cupboard and pulls out a first aid box, she rumages through the box to find a bandaid. She brings it over along with a cloth.
"Come here" her eyes soft and her smile loving "let me fix it" she drys my finger with the cloth and places a bandaid over the cut "good as knew, you'll be happy to hear your finger has survived"
"Well thank you Doctor Miller, what would I do without you"
We both make eye contact "you would be lost without me sweetheart" she says with a slight whisper to her voice.
I look down at the ground then back up to her "I know" I wrap my arms around her neck to pull her closer to kiss her lips "Let's continue cooking, I'm starving"
She nods "you can take a seat...I can do it"
"Nonsense, I've got a good view from here" my eyes trace up and down her body
She laughs and shakes her head "if you say so honey" she continues chopping up ingredients "do you want something to drink?"
"I'll get it, its fine"
I grab a bottle of water out the fridge, I also grab one for Lou. I hand it to her.
I lean back on the kitchen unit "where did you learn to cook this good?" I take a sip of water.
She looks over at me "it just comes natrually, what can I say" she says with a cocky tone to her voice, Its rare to hear her speak without it.
Dinner is finally ready, we sit at the makeshift kitchen table that looks like it was once a poker table. We sit side by side instead of opposite each other. The food is delicious. Our legs sit knee to knee, her hand coming down every once in a while to rub my thigh as we eat. Occasionally smiling at each other between taking bites of our food.
We end up sitting on the sofas later pm with Lana Del Rey plays softly over the speakers in the background. We sit facing each other, her hand gently moving hair out of my face as we talk. My elbow rests on the back of the sofa while my head leans on my hand.
She looks down at my arm and traces a finger over scars that are marked on my skin "what are these"
"One is from when I broke my arm" I look down at them.
"And the rest?" She squints her eyes to get a better look.
"They are self inflicted, I had a hard childhood...I don't like to talk about it much"
"Talk to me, you are safe with me...I pro-"
I butt in before she can finish "you know I don't like that word"
She holds her hands up in a submissive way "I'm sorry, I forgot...how did you break your arm?"
I take a deep breath then clear my throat "my dad...he uh...broke it"
She starts to rub my legs that are folded on the sofa against hers "I'm sorry"
"Don't be" I quickly say "it was a long time ago, I'm okay" I smile at her. She smiles back but I can see concern in her eyes.
"Where is he now?"
"He's in jail, he'll never get out they said"
"Whos they?"
"The judge, lawyers, my therapist...my mom...jess, it's hard to believe since he's gotten out before but all I can do is trust what they say"
"Come here" she wraps her arms around me.
Suddenly feeling an overwhelming feeling of safety in her arms I whisper I will go with her to Califnronia. She holds me tighter than she ever has before. I laugh as she squeezes the air out of my lungs.
"One thing though..."
She tilts her chin up "yeah"
"I'm meant to be going home for a week after Uni finishes...so technically next week I'm supposed to be in Ohio"
"Thats no problem, I'm going for 3 weeks so I can fly you out the week after...we will have two weeks in california together" she smiles while playing with my hair.
I take her hands "I'm looking forward to it"
"Me too sweetheart" she smiles back.
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Author
Sorry this one took longer, life has been hectic 😆 thank you for reading! It really means a lot 💛💛💛