I sat near the ocean, since he lived with his pack- I think it's called- near the ocean. It's currently 2:35 in the morning and I'm sitting near the ocean, by myself. I don't know why but I just got up and started walking at 1 in the morning- leading me here. I was wearing sweat pants and a tank top but I wore my Legend of Zelda sweater to hide the top. I slipped my shoes and socks off, also pulled my sweats up past my calf, as I sat on the sand allowing the ocean to wet my feet.
I miss Sheila. I miss my sisters. I miss my family. I miss Katie. I miss eating Spanish food. I miss hearing Erica and Jessica argue. I hate it here, I hate not knowing anyone, I hate not being able to actually talk to anyone. I hate it, but the worst part is I didn't hate Xavier.
"Look, Harvest Moon Sky Lady, I don't get why you picked me. I mean I'm pretty fucking awesome but still. Did you really have to pick me? There hasn't been a human mate in all of history, so why did you pick me, I'm human, I'm 18, I haven't even been able to live yet!" I start to cry "and now you want me to have a soulmate and fall in love?! Why would you do that to me? To him!? He's never going to be able to get me to lower my walls, he's never going to stop the memories from coming back! He's never going to fix me!" I yell out to the sky, sobbing uncontrollably. "I don't understand why you decided to match him up with me, have you not noticed we are polar opposites! He doesn't even know what Ceviché is! I'm Peruvian and Puerto Rican, I love Spanish food! I don't fucking get it! What the hell do I have to offer someone like him?! I'm not okay! I'm broken! How can someone fall in love when their heart is already in a million pieces each one surrounded by a thick wall!! He fucking kidnapped me! Was that your plan?! I don't fucking understand it!! Who the hell chooses to be with someone who wants to die! I don't get it, who would choose someone so broken! Someone with more scars on their skin you can't even count it! Scars creating through razor blades and flames, I'm broken!" I scream, I didn't know what to do.
"You're not broken." Three words spoken from the darkness scared the living daylights out of me. Nikki walked out from the darkness. "I don't fully understand it either, why someone would choose someone who believes they are broken. Someone whose been abused and neglected and beaten." Nikki sits by me, "but that's the funny thing about mates, they love you either way. They would rather die then be the reason you cry. They would jump in front of a bullet for you the moment they see you." Nikki raises her shirt to reveal a long scar down her ribs and waist on both sides, "the funny thing about mates is that they view scars as battle scars. When I meat Luke, I was twelve, he was sixteen, but he didn't know we were mates. You see you can only find your mate when you and your mate are 18 years old or older. Anyway when I met Luke- my dad had just died in a rogue attack -there was a huge one that month killing a lot of people- when my dad died my mom took her anger out on me. When you loose a mate- you go crazy- she told me since she lost her mate I would never be loved by mine. She did this to be with wolfsbane engraved in silver daggers. The abuse went for two more years. I tried to kill myself- but I was saved just in time by Luke, when he saved me he noticed the bruises and the scars- that day he practically killed my mom, he didn't though, she was killed just not by his hands. I moved in with him and his parents- when I turned 18 I tried to reject him, all the scars on my body put there by my mom and all the healed wounds done by me. And you know what he told me? He said:
'That's the thing about mates, mates don't care if you are fragile or if you consider yourself broken, they want you and only you. These scars don't show your defeat but your victory. You are my little warrior, who are you to deny me the right to love you? I have since we were kids and I will continue to until my last breathe. Now you can either accept me now, or you can try to reject me and see how that works.'
Every time I tried to reject him- he kissed me. And now look at us, we have a beautiful child, we are married, and we are happy!" She grinned "mates, that's the funny thing about them, they love you for everything good and bad, they love you for everything you have to offer and not offer. Even if you believe you are broken, trust me they will convince you other wise." She looked at me "So you can either accept the fact he's your mate and you are and will always be everything to him, or you can try and regret it and see how that works out. But he will not give up for the next three days, he will fight for you until the last nano second on the third day, and hell even after that."
Did I want that? Well we shall see because Day One has began.