"What did you say?" Y/n asked as she furrowed her eyebrows and looked back over her shoulder to Roseanne. She wonders if she heard the blonde wrong because she has never once gotten a tattoo. It's always been on her bucket list, but she could never find a design worth putting on her body forever in ink. Roseanne pointed to y/n's left shoulder blade,
"Your little moon and stars tattoo; when did you get it? It's cute." Y/n looked at her as if she was stupid,
"Are you sure your eyes didn't fuck up when I fucked you?" That remark made Roseanne roll her eyes,
"You don't have to be mean about it."
"I don't have a fucking tattoo, so you're imagining it. Go splash some water on your face or something." Y/n muttered as she stood up to get her pajama pants she had just spotted on the floor.
I don't have a tattoo repeated in Roseanne's head over and over again.
She sat as still as a rock as the thought had now actually crossed her mind: y/n could really be her soulmate. Roseanne shook her head and just chuckled,
"So I'm guessing it's not your favorite tattoo because you don't even like to acknowledge it." Roseanne joked, wanting to know what reaction she would get out of the girl. Y/n just tied her pants around her waist and looked at Roseanne unamused,
"I'm serious, go freshen up. Something is wrong with you; ya know, something new and not just the normal day to day stuff." Y/n said as she bent down to pick up her shirt.
"Wait! Before you put on your shirt, can you see if I have a tattoo?" Roseanne requested as y/n looked so lost with the current conversation,
"Why the fuck are you asking to look for a tattoo on your body when it doesn't even seem like you–"
Y/n abruptly stopped talking as she stared back at Roseanne, everything clicking as to why she was asking that sort of question. Y/n shook her head rapidly, closing her eyes,
"No, no, no! No! We are not. I don't even believe in that shit." Y/n raised her voice as she raked her fingers through her hair stressfully. Y/n swiftly put her shirt on and stared Roseanne down, her eyes filled with anger,
"Get the fuck out. Now."
"No! Why the hell would I do that when you're my fucking soulmate!" Roseanne shouted back as she got out of y/n's bed, still completely naked. She whined a little as she was indeed very sore, but at this moment she didn't care.
"Don't say that stupid fucking word because all that shit isn't real!"
"Ouch." Cupid said after hearing y/n say all that about soulmates; his literal job. Destiny punched his shoulder for speaking at such a moment.
"Well they obviously are fucking real if I'm seeing a damn tattoo on your skin when you don't have one!" Roseanne was now standing in front of y/n.
One person fully clothed and the other person completely nude. The two sides of a coin. Polar opposites. One person willing to bare everything to the other person, emotions and all, while the other person is closed off and concealed from the world.
"No, you just are still stuck on this childhood fantasy, Roseanne! You need to grow up and get the fuck out of my apartment!"
"It's not a fantasy, you just don't want to admit it to yourself! You always believed in them when you were younger and just when you had your heart broken once, you say fuck all of that! That's pathetic!"
Y/n was blinded by rage as she stepped forward and pushed Roseanne harshly into the front of her dresser, the blonde wincing a bit. She could see how livid y/n was about her saying all that, but she didn't care because it was all true. Y/n tried love once, when she was a fucking teenager. Everyone knows that young love barely lasts for the long run. And just because the girl she was head over heels for didn't feel the same anymore, she decided love was a lie.
"You need to watch yourself! I don't give a damn if I only tried love once because sometimes once is enough for some things. I would love to know what you know about love, so please enlighten me!" Y/n shouted back, waiting for a response from Roseanne.
"Love is something that in unconditional and makes you feel all warm inside–"
"I know that, I was actually in love once!"
"Then let me fucking finish!" Roseanne snapped back. But y/n shook her head,
"No, no you're not going to finish because I'm getting you out of my damn apartment." Y/n concluded as she reached around the floor to pick up Roseanne's clothes. Roseanne put her arms behind her back so she couldn't take her clothes. But y/n didn't give a damn as she haphazardly put Roseanne's t-shirt over her bare chest and was about to somehow get her pants on.
"Wait!" Roseanne yelped as y/n looked like she was about to tackle her in order to get her pants on. Y/n glared at her,
"You have 20 seconds."
"Can you please just look over my body and see if you see a tattoo. If you don't, I'll leave peacefully."
Y/n lowered her arms that had Roseanne's pants and undergarments and she sighed frustratedly. But she motioned for Roseanne to take her shirt off and she quickly did. Y/n then started to look over her whole body from the top of her head all the way down to her feet. Y/n didn't see any stupid tattoo on the front of her body, so she annoyingly walked to go behind her. Her eyes briefly looked over the side of her body as she went.
Roseanne was anxiously waiting for y/n to hopefully find a tattoo on her body. She tried to remember if anyone had told her about if someone could see a tattoo on someone but it wasn't reciprocated. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw y/n had stopped moving for a split second for no apparent reason. Roseanne snapped her head to her right and y/n quickly lifted her eyes up from her ankle.
"Why'd you stop when you looked at my ankle?" Roseanne asked y/n as y/n casually shrugged her shoulders,
"I didn't stop."
The small amount of uncertainty that was present in y/n's voice and the way her body language suddenly changed after that made Roseanne come to a conclusion.
"You saw a tattoo, didn't you?"
"Huh? No." Y/n said dismissively, making Roseanne squint her eyes at the woman who had just fucked her,
"Don't fucking lie to me y/n! Tell me if you saw a damn tattoo!" Roseanne yelled at y/n, who just looked into her eyes,
"If I didn't see a tattoo on your body, what would happen?" Y/n asked the girl.
"I'd leave your apartment peacefully. But I can't tell you what will happen in the future." Roseanne answered.
"And if I did see a tattoo?" Roseanne straightened her posture at that question,
"Then we are destined to be together, whether you fucking like it or not."
The two stood silently looking directly into each other's eyes. Roseanne waited for what y/n was going to say and y/n wondering what she should say. Roseanne could see the debate in her eyes and that confused her because there was nothing to debate about; it's either she saw something or she lies about not seeing one.
"I didn't see a tattoo."
"That's bullshit!" Roseanne shouted without missing a beat. She knows that she saw a tattoo on y/n's skin and she's 100% certain of that. And she knows that y/n stopped because she also saw a tattoo. But she's just to scared too admit it.
"Why would I lie about this?!"
"You and I both know the answer to that!" Roseanne countered, "you hate the idea of soulmates and you fucking despise me! You just want to get rid of me because you can't accept something that is right in front of your eyes! You keep letting one moment in your life dictate the rest of it and that's absurd! Live your fucking life for once!"
"Roseanne–"
"I'm not finished," the blonde interrupted harshly as she continued, "I know Lily broke your heart and convinced you that soulmates don't exist. But don't you remember when we were younger and we'd talk about how excited we were to have soulmates? How someone would have our back and love us no matter what? I would always see your face light up whenever we talked about soulmates. So even though Lily was an absolute bitch to you in the end, why'd you allow her to crush younger you's dream? You allowed her to destroy the thing you were most excited for."
Y/n clenched her jaw as she felt emotions swirling around inside her. She does remember all the talks they had when they were younger about soulmates. Of course she would remember those moments with Roseanne. Roseanne could see y/n's eyes gloss over with tears, so she cautiously took a step forward towards her. The blonde reached out and cupped y/n's cheek gently and spoke softly,
"And I'm right here. I'm the person you were so excited to meet. I'm your soulmate."
Y/n let a tear escape her eyes as she looked into Roseanne's eyes. Roseanne wiped it away with her thumb as she looked into y/n's eyes like they held the world.
But y/n's eyes were full of anxiety and fear.
And it broke Roseanne's heart.
"Please," y/n's voice broke from emotions and yelling so much beforehand, "please just go."
She didn't use a commanding tone like the previous times she had told Roseanne to leave, it was a voice filled with desperation. Y/n pleaded for Roseanne to leave her apartment.
And Roseanne complied.
She didn't want to push y/n anymore because it was obvious that there was so much inner turmoil happening in her mind. So Roseanne gently removed her hand from y/n's cheek and reached out to grab the remaining pieces of clothing from y/n's hands. She then brushed past y/n's body to go into the bathroom that was down the hall to freshen up before heading back to her apartment.
Roseanne looked at her reflection and traced the many dark hickeys that y/n, her soulmate, had left. She noticed how messy her hair was and how her lips were puffy and bruised. She put her clothes back on and then splashed some water on her face before raking her fingers through her hair to try and tame it at least a little. Roseanne then left the bathroom and heard y/n walking around in her bedroom, so she walked back real quick because she needed to get something off her chest.
"I don't regret it."
Y/n snapped her head around as she didn't hear Roseanne come back into her bedroom. There was sincerity in Roseanne's eyes when y/n looked at her. But instead of saying anything to the girl, y/n just nodded her head and went back to cleaning everything up. She really didn't want the smell of Roseanne's perfume to be surrounding her when she sleeps tonight because she knows it would make her more confused.
"Y/n," Roseanne whispered as she softly grabbed y/n's hand to turn her towards her a little, "please don't shut me out. I'll always be here, I promise."
"You said that back when we were younger." Y/n reminded her as Roseanne closed her eyes and scrunched her face up grimacing on that fact.
"I know I did," she started before opening her eyes again, "and I didn't keep it back then because I was stupid."
"Still stupid now." Y/n muttered with a ghost of a smile, making Roseanne feel like maybe, just maybe everything would go well.
"I know that, too," she responded with a small smile, "but I want you to know that leaving you behind was my biggest mistake and I'm not going to let you slip out of my fingers again. You were the light at the end of the tunnel for me back then and I stopped running. This time I'm going to run towards you until my legs give out and I can't move a single muscle."
Roseanne squeezed y/n's hand just wanting to remember what it's like to hold her hand. She doesn't know what y/n will end up doing and that terrifies her. Y/n could very well move to Brazil or something and cut off all contact with everyone. But she hopes that destiny will lead them back to each other soon.
"You don't have to say anything, but know you'll always have me."
And with that, Roseanne pressed a small kiss to y/n's cheek as a goodbye. She let go of her hand and didn't look back as she left y/n's room. Roseanne grabbed her jacket and her shoes that she had taken off the second y/n had dragged her into the apartment hours ago. Her eyes widened as she didn't know what time it was, so she checked her phone that was in her jacket and saw that it was nearly 4am.
But Roseanne quietly left the apartment, taking the elevator since there was no way in hell her legs would allow her to take the stairs; walking normally is uncomfortable enough. She needed to get back to her place, so she fished around in her jacket pocket for some money to get onto the city bus. Roseanne put on a face mask when she left the apartment building and waited at the bus stop. It arrived only a few minutes later and she hopped on, taking a seat by herself and looking out the window in the general vicinity of y/n's apartment.
"How–why does this happen to me? They literally do the most intimate thing mortals can do and still haven't made things official! I'm going to go down there and slap some sanity into y/n because my god she's infuriating me. Can't she just accept that soulmates exist again and be with Roseanne?!" Destiny whined as she looked like she was about to punch a hole in the wall next to her. Cupid sighed,
"You know it's not that simple for her."
"I don't care! Boohoo, her heart was broken once and then she became all sad and shit. Get over yourself!" Destiny shouted as she went up to the big screen where y/n was changing the sheets. The goddess flipped the mortal off as Cupid stifled a laugh seeing Destiny act like this.
"I need to blow some steam off." She announced as she snapped her fingers so a baseball bat appeared in her hand. Cupid's eyes widened as he was now scared, hoping he wouldn't get close enough to feel what kind of material the bat was made of.
Destiny then snapped some goggles onto her face and also made a few vases appear. She smirked and positioned herself in a way so that when the object would break, the pieces wouldn't hit anything major. Cupid scrambled to get behind his desk and he crouched down, peering over the top to watch.
Destiny wound up and smashed the first vase with anger; the ceramic pieces flying all over the place. She got her bat back up and swung again at another vase, hundreds of pieces scattering around the room. Cupid had to duck real quick because a piece went flying in his direction. Destiny was still fuming and it wasn't looking like she was going to slow down any time soon. At this rate, the floor of the building would be covered in a thick layer of broken vases.
"Uh, Destiny?" Cupid called out to her, but it was no use. She just yelled as she smashed another vase with her bat.
"Destiny!" The goddess now heard him speak and she looked back at him,
"What?" She asked annoyed as her hands itched to break another vase with the bat.
"Um, can you please stop?"
"Pff, no." She said amused as she spun around and blindly swung the bat, making contact with another vase. Cupid sighed and just stayed behind his desk as he continued to watch Destiny break countless more vases with her baseball bat.
Roseanne got back to her apartment and it was around 4:30am since there were multiple stops on the bus before hers. She took the elevator up and unlocked her apartment, petting Hank before heading straight to her bedroom. In a few hours she knows she's going to have to get the girls over to get their opinion on everything that has happened. But for the time being, Roseanne went to the attached bathroom and changed into pajamas. Then she just went straight to bed because her body and mind craved it.
The time 11:27am rolled around and Roseanne opened her eyes up to the sunlight pouring into her bedroom through the curtains. She groaned and stuffed her face into her pillow, wanting to sleep for a little longer. But she knew she needed to get up because she needed to talk to the girls about y/n and early this morning.
The blonde got up and went to take a shower quickly before sitting at her vanity back in her bedroom. She put on some light makeup on her neck to lessen the hickeys and she was blushing profusely the whole time. Then she just did her normal makeup on her face. Roseanne was finishing up with the mascara when she truly looked at herself in the mirror.
When she looked into the mirror this time, she saw a broken woman staring back at her. This woman was emotionally exhausted and holding onto the smallest sliver of hope by a single thread. This woman's soulmate wanted nothing to do with her and was most likely going to leave their life in a mere few hours.
She bared everything to y/n and said how they were soulmates; that she'd always be there for her. But she didn't get any of those words in return. Roseanne knew that y/n may not have been ready to say those words, but it still felt like someone driving a knife through her heart. Those words of affirmation are ones a soulmate desires to hear from their own soulmate, but she didn't hear those.
Before Roseanne knew it, tears started to gather in her eyes and she let them fall without hesitation, not caring about the makeup she had just done. She placed her hand over her mouth to try and muffle the sobs, but it didn't work as she started to cry loudly.
Roseanne slid off the small chair she was sitting on and scooted over to a wall in her bedroom, bringing her knees to her chest. She stuffed her face in her hands and cried her heart out as reality was setting in quickly. Her sobs were violent and she could barely catch her breath in between each cry. Roseanne's body slightly shook from the overwhelming amount of emotions running around in her mind. The heartbreaking sound of a woman wailing about her soulmate echoed through the room.
She cried for almost 15 straight minutes before being able to gather herself even just a little bit. Only sniffles and her trying to somewhat steady her breathing could be heard. She needed more air, so she lifted her head up from her hands and leaned it back against the wall behind her. She doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to know that her mascara was all messed up and that she did her makeup for nothing.
But even with her uneven breathing, she wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt and let out a deep sigh, her bottom lip slightly quivering,
"I'm never going to convince them."
Roseanne is never going to be able to convince y/n that they are soulmates no matter what. She's never going to be able to convince y/n to give them a chance. She's never going to be able to convince y/n to stay in her life.
She's never going to be able to convince y/n that she truly loves her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Y/n couldn't go to sleep after Roseanne left no matter how hard she tried. She stayed up all night just letting her mind think about whatever the hell it wanted to.
Y/n did in fact see a tattoo on Roseanne's ankle.
It was a sun with little fluffy clouds.
Ironic because apparently y/n's was the moon and Roseanne's was the sun.
But y/n didn't know what to feel about the whole situation. She still can't believe that they are soulmates, no matter how much she wants to deny it because she saw that tattoo. It's taking everything in her to not believe her eyes, but her inner child is wanting to be known and heard. They want that fantasy dream to be real because it is real.
Y/n shook her head and caged up her heart once again, just like she did all those years ago.
This was something that Roseanne could use against her; to manipulate her. She would use them being soulmates for every situation and reason known to man. This was the thing that would allow Roseanne to try and fully wiggle back into y/n's life.
And without warning, she'd be gone in an instant again, no matter what she had promised y/n.
At around 6am, y/n decided to take a shower and get ready to head over to the SM building. When she stepped under the water in the shower, she swore quite loudly as it hit her scratched up back. Y/n gritted her teeth through the whole thing and delicately put a loose shirt on afterwards. She finished getting ready and arrived at the SM building just before 7am.
She got into the dance studios and turned on some music, going hard and strong with each move. She needed to get out all her anger and other emotions, so she danced hard until she would hopefully just pass out. Y/n didn't take a single break for over an hour as she was soon covered in sweat and her face was bright red. She was heavily breathing and went right into the next song without hesitation.
She however failed to notice the five girls that had walked into the practice room, looking at her worriedly. It was only until Irene called out to her that y/n broke her trance and looked over to them,
"H–hey." Y/n breathed out as she was breathing rapidly. Seulgi went over to her best friend as Wendy went to turn off the music. Seulgi didn't say anything and just gave y/n a light hug, making sure not to squeeze her because she was already having trouble breathing.
"I know something is wrong because I do the same thing." Seulgi said to y/n as she just stood there silently looking up at the ceiling, willing the tears she could feel wanting to form go away.
"Yeah, there's um, there's some stuff that I need to talk about to you guys about." Y/n responded as the other four girls glanced around at one another, sensing how serious whatever happened was.
"Do you want to talk now or later?" Seulgi asked as she released y/n from the hug.
"Later please. Let's just get you guys learning the choreography. After that, we can talk about what the fuck happened last night."
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ahaha... so that all happened. sorry to make yall probably depressed now LMAO. but we have the sun and moon, how cute. moon... huh, where have i heard that before... maybe another story of mine that you should totally read if u havent bc its close to 100k reads. but besides that, yes that little part was from the dream thing way back when that Roseanne had experienced. also sorry this update was delayed a bit, i had a 24 hour virus and MY GOD IT WAS FUCKING ME UP. ill spare u all the details, but holy shit i wanted to die. but thank u for waiting and ill see u all in the next one, i love u <3