"This is going to feel uncomfortable, Y/N," the doctor warned. "But I just need you to keep breathing out, okay?"
You gave a slight nod as the doctor gently grabbed the tube entering your mouth and going down your throat. Steve was still laying in his own bed beside you, holding your hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze to remind you that he was right there. The rest of the team was outside the room, watching through the windows.
"Alright, let's do this," the doctor said.
You began breathing out as the doctor slowly pulled the tube. You tried to hold by the coughs but failed. Steve squeezed your hand.
"We're almost there," the doctor said. "Keep breathing out."
You did as directed, still coughing, until, finally, the tube was out. You went into a full blow coughing fit then. Steve tried to move closer to help you but Bucky hurried into the room to push him back down.
"Here," Bruce offered, rushing in with a cup of water. "Drink."
Bruce held the cup up to you and guided the straw into your mouth. It was hard at first to suck the water down, but it almost immediately relieved you.
"Thanks," you rasped.
"Y/N," the doctor grabbed your attention. "You're quite the fighter." You gave them a slight smile before the doctor began explaining your injuries and how they had fixed them. "As you may have noticed, you can't feel past your hips," the doctor said, having finished explaining everything else. "Your knee is still shattered and we were waiting to get everything else taken care of before we dealt with it."
"How will you deal with it?"
"Tony and Princess Shuri have been in contact and have a few replacement options."
"Yes," Tony agreed as he wheeled himself in. "She's coming in a few days so that we can go over the options together."
"What happened to you?" You turned to Steve. "What happened to both of you?"
"The doc might have left something out," Steve said shyly. "Your liver transplant... I was the donor."
"Steve," you gasped. "You shouldn't have—"
"I was the perfect match and with the super-soldier serum, I would heal quickly."
"I still don't like it." You turned then to Tony. "And you?"
"Mine's not as heroic," Tony replied. "I may have had... well... it wasn't anything major—"
"He had a heart attack," Steve stated.
"A heart attack?!" You repeated. "Tony!"
"I'm fine. I'm resting," he replied, quickly trying to soothe your worries. "I've been actually following doctor's orders."
"Only because Pepper's been on you like a hawk," Bruce muttered, earning a glare from Tony.
"He is doing better," the doctor confirmed. "Both Tony and Steve are on the mend. You will unfortunately not be healed as fast as them, having sustained so many injuries."
You nodded. "I understand."
"For now, the most important thing for you to do is rest. Myself and the nurses will be in and out to frequently check on you."
"Thank you, doc."
"Of course. I would suggest that everyone leave the room. Both need rest and, perhaps, some time alone." The doctor gave a teasing grin before leaving.
"We'll be back with food in a few hours," Bruce said, grabbing the handles of Tony's wheelchair.
"I'm glad that you're alive, kid," Tony said as he was pushed out of the room. Bruce shut the door behind them.
The room was silent besides the quiet hum of the machines and you and Steve's breaths. Steve was still holding your hand, running his thumb along the back of it.
"Steve," you quietly called, unable to look at him.
"Yes?" He responded.
"How bad was it?" Steve inhaled sharply, images of your bleeding body in his arms. "You can tell me... I know that it must have been pretty bad because Tony's eyes seem haunted. And you... you have large, purple rings under your eyes and you won't let my hand go."
"Sorry." Steve quickly let go of your hand only for you to grab it again.
"I didn't say I didn't like it. It just scares me... Tell me... how bad was it."
Steve took an unsteady breath in as he prepared himself to share small glimpses into what you'd been through. What the team had been through while waiting for you to wake. He wasn't going to share everything yet, too worried that any wrong word would somehow backtrack your progress.
"You coded," he carefully whispered, looking down at your intertwined hands. "At least twice that I know of... the first time was the worst... you were on the jet back to the Tower. Bucky and I had stayed behind. I... I couldn't—"
You gave his hand a light squeeze. "I get it," you whispered.
"You were 15 minutes out from here and Tony had to give you CPR." Your eyes closed, tearing up at the thought of your best friend trying to save your life. "There was another time in surgery... Wanda apparently couldn't feel you anymore. It was at the same time that Tony was rushed into surgery."
"I..." You opened your eyes but they were glazed over like you were stuck in your own mind. "I remember... I could feel him..." Steve watched you carefully. "I could feel him after this light." You chuckled lightly. "It sounds so cheesy, but it's true... and so then I realized that I needed to fight harder... I need to survive. I couldn't let Rumlow have that satisfaction of..." You couldn't even finish the sentence. "Tell me, Steve... is he—"
"He's dead. He won't ever be able to hurt anyone again."
Leaning back, you closed your eyes and let the tears slip down your cheeks. You stayed still as Steve slowly sat up and got out of bed. Carefully, he laid on his side next to you. To anyone that may have been watching the scene or walked by, they may have laughed at the super-soldier trying to squeeze next to you in bed. But to you and him, it meant everything. Due to your injuries and the meds, you couldn't really move and Steve understood that. So he carefully put an arm under you and over you, before pulling you into him.
"I've got you," he whispered, lips against your ear. "You're safe." You started to cry harder. Steve didn't bother trying to shush you, knowing that you needed to get it out. "It's okay... I'm right here... let it all out..."
~~~
The next time the doctor came by, you were asleep in Steve's arms. Steve's eyes were closed but he was awake, just taking in the fact that you were alive and in his arms. The doctor came closer to check the machines which caused Steve to open his eyes.
"How is she?" The doctor whispered.
"She's hanging in there," Steve responded.
"It's going to be a long road to healing, both mentally and physically. And something's... well, something's will never fully heal."
Steve held you closer. "I know."
"Everything is looking okay for right now. I'll be back in another few hours to check again."
"Thank you."
The doctor smiled before slipping out of the room. Steve watched you with love and care. He was pressing a kiss to your forehead when he felt you twitch. His brows furrowed as he pulled back to look at you. Your top half twitched again, given the bottom half of your body was still numb.
"Sweetheart?" He whispered, carefully cupping your cheek.
You twitched again only this time a whimper slipped out. Steve was immediately on alert. He sat up straighter but remained close to you.
"Hey, sweetheart, you're okay," he said softly. "Wake up. It's not real."
You let out another whimper and Steve felt like he was going to cry. He hated that sound and would do anything to stop it.
"Come on, doll, just wake up." You let out a cry. "Wake up, Y/N."
Wanda came rushing in with Vision on her tail. "Keep calling to her, Steve," she ordered as she stopped near your head. "I'm going to pull her out of it." Wanda's eyes glowed as her hands came up to hover above your head.
"Sweetheart," Steve called. "Wake up, come back to us." Wanda's red tendrils hit your head and you let out a louder cry, sweat forming along your brow. Steve gripped your hand close to his heart as he tried to not get too emotional. "It's not real. Your safe."
"Vis," Wanda breathed out. The android came over and rested his hands on your head as well.
"Come on, Y/N. Come back to me."
"What's going on in here?" Tony asked as Pepper wheeled him into the room, bags of food in his lap.
"She fell asleep and—and then she just wouldn't wake up."
"Her mind as looked her in her nightmare," Wanda explained, still focused on helping you. "I could feel her from the common floor so Vis and I rushed down here."
You let out another cry as tears slipped through your clenched eyes. The heart rate monitor began beeping faster.
"Well, what's the hold-up?" Tony asked, worry lacing every bit of his tone. "Why haven't you brought her out of it yet?"
"Tony," Pepper scolded quietly.
"I'm trying," Wanda said, her tone telling everyone that they were being warned if they were to ask again.
"Y/N is buried deep in her own subconscious," Vision stated, trying to help the others understand. "It is an incredibly hard place to reach when you aren't welcome."
"Is there any way to send someone else in there after her?" Steve asked, his eyes never leaving your face. "Someone that she might be more open to?"
Wanda looked at Steve. "Yes, but..." She was hesitant to tell him what she was seeing in your mind. "Steve, it's hard in here."
"I can handle it. She shouldn't be reliving everything again."
Wanda and Vision shared a look before Wanda held out her glowing hand to Steve. "Keep a hold of Y/N's hand, but your other hand needs to be in mine." Steve quickly did as he was told. "Now, brace yourself. It will be hard in there."
"I'm ready."
"Close your eyes and Vision and I will guide you in."
Steve nodded as he closed his eyes. He inhaled sharply as Wanda entered his mind and connected him to you. When he opened them again, he was in that awful room he had found you in. He shivered as the cool breeze flowed through the open door.
"Y/N!" He called out, looking around the room for you. "Y/N!"
Steve's eyes found a puddle of blood on the floor and bloody footprints leading from it, heading out the door. Slowly, he began to follow them.
"Steve," Wanda called, appearing next to him.
"Shit, Wanda!" Steve exclaimed, jumping away. "You can't do that."
"Sorry."
"I thought you said we couldn't reach this?"
"You are apparently welcomed here, I slipped in after you to see if I can be of any assistance." The two kept following the bloody prints.
"I thought you said that it was hard in here? I was expecting..." He couldn't even verbalize his fears.
"It was. The moment you entered her subconscious, the torture stopped."
"Explaining the blood... Can you sense her?"
Wanda stopped and closed her eyes. "Yes. She's... terrified... injured... she wants to escape but can't find a way out."
"Let's move faster."
The two hurried through the halls, following the bloody footprints until they reached a door. They eyed each other wearily before Steve carefully opened the door. They both bit back a gasp at the sight of you bloody, bruised, and naked, trembling in a corner. You stayed tucked away in the corner, too scared to turn around and face whoever was entering the room.
"Y/N," Steve said, carefully taking a step in your different. "It's me."
"Steve?" You croaked, still not moving to turn around.
"It's me, sweetheart." He took another two steps. "Can you turn around?" You shook your head. "That's alright. Can I come closer to you?"
"...tomorrow..."
Steve was confused, sending a questioning look Wanda's way. She shook her head, not knowing what was going on.
"I kept thinking that you'd come tomorrow," you continued. "And then tomorrow kept coming and I... I..."
"I never stopped looking for you, Y/N," Steve said, heartbreaking. "I... I went rouge..."
You turned your head to face him. "You what?"
"I went rogue. I didn't like how slow everything was happening and was convinced that I could get to you faster by myself."
"That explains the beard."
"I'm sorry. I'll shave it off as soon as we're out of here."
"No." You shook your head, turning around to face him more. Wanda could see that you were trying to keep some modesty and used her powers to form clothes around you. Your hand came up to cup Steve's face. "Don't get rid of it... I like it."
Steve leaned into your hand. "I wish that I could have stopped this from happening, sweetheart... I wish that I could have saved you sooner." Tears crawled down Steve's cheeks and yours. "I am so sorry."
"I wish you could have too... but... thank you for saving me when you did."
"I'll come for you, sweetheart, every time."
"I know." You rubbed your thumb against his cheek. "Do you... do you think... I know that I'm stuck in bed for a long while, but do you think that we could do lunch or dinner soon?"
Steve chuckled softly. "I do owe you a date, don't I?" One of his hands came up to your cheek to mirror yours. "Tomorrow, alright?"
"You promise?"
He leaned in and kissed you softly, tugging at your lip slightly as he pulled away. "I promise."