AURORA
Tuesday, 26th July
"It couldn't be better." Quinn and I are just lying on the towels on the beach. "I never thought I'd have a life like this. Spain in Valencia, a house right on the beach where we only have to walk five minutes. Here is almost nobody."
"It's because it's 7 a.m., you had to wake me up." She just laughed and closed her eyes again. I imitated her.
Could not be better. I sunbathed on the beach and relaxed. "Hola lindas {Hello pretty ones}." I opened my eyes and looked up. A guy and his friend were standing next to us. Quinn turned her head to see them too.
"Hola {Hello}," Quinn replied, straightening up. When I did too. "Te vimos desde allí y pensamos que eras muy bonita {we saw you from there and thought you were really pretty}." "oh, gracias, pero tengo novio, pero ella es libre. {oh, thanks, but I have a boyfriend, but she is free}."
It came from Quinn who is the one who learned Spanish in school. I have a bit of understanding, but I am the silent one.
The guy turned away from her and came to me. "Carlos." He held out his hand with a smile as he knelt down, so I could meet his eyes. I took it. "Aurora." I took my hand away and looked at him.
"¿Puedo invitarte a una copa?{can I buy you a drink?}."
"lo siento, no sé español. {sorry, I don't know Spanish}." I looked at the sentence 100 times in the plane to be sure to say it right.
He nodded to me. "Would you like to go have a drink with me?" there was a faint accent, but it was hot, and he was handsome too. His body was toned, with muscles and blond hair that wavy forward, freckles that aren't as visible, and Green eyes. He is sufficient.
Quinn encouraged me to leave. She looked at me expectantly, but even though he was really pretty and hot, I wanted to relax. I really don't feel like it.
"Thank you very much for the offer, but we're only here for a short time and I want to enjoy it." He smiled anyway. He straightens up. "It's fine, maybe we'll see each other. Have a nice vacation." I nodded. "Gracias. {Thank you}." He nodded, then walked away with his friend.
I watched him go as Quinn slapped me on the arm. "Why didn't you say yes?" "I don't want to, I want to collect memories here with you and not in bed with a boy." she rolled her eyes and lay back down.
I imitated her and closed my eyes again.
---
"I'll go get some ice cream, would you like to?" Quinn and Dylan nodded. "I want lemon." I looked from Dylan to Quinn, who was more than enjoying Dylan's massage. "Bring her strawberries." I nodded.
Then I took my wallet and my phone, put my sunglasses on my nose, and walk to the small ice cream parlor.
A lot more people are on the beach now, Quinn and I have been here since 7 a.m, it's already 10 a.m. Dylan said that Zeth and Mason are with the idiot to buy some food. But that was an hour ago.
We wanted to meet up at 11 a.m. because Mason and Zeth said we should go into town, which I definitely don't refuse. On the way to the ice cream parlor, I quickly pulled out my app and looked up what all the varieties are called in Spanish, going through them a few times when I got in line.
When it was my turn, "Hola fresa, limón y el helado de café, por favor {hello, strawberry, lemon, and the coffee ice cream, please}." The man nodded and took a waffle and put a scoop on it.
"Hola Aurora." I looked to the side and saw Carlos. I smiled at him and took the second ice cream in my hand. "And you still don't feel like it?" I laughed. Some guys really don't check a no. "No, sorry." I took the last one and was about to get the money out when he made my arm down. "It's fine, I'll do it."
"Otra menta por favor. {Another mint please}." "No, I can pay for it." I hate it when someone does that. "No, It's alright, enjoy your vacation." He took his ice cream and then left.
I rolled my eyes. And just walked backward when I licked my ice cream and turned around. "Are you having fun?" I rolled my eyes where I see Ares through my glasses and walked past him.
"Aurora, I know that I messed up." He walked next to me. I laughed out of anger because he called it so mild and licked my ice cream. "Messed up is an understatement, don't you think?"
"Yes it is, but you have to understand I want to make it up to you." "I gave you the choice that day. If you leave I will never forgive you, those were my words, you're gone, Ares. " I stop and look at him.
"I cut you off because I couldn't watch how I hurt you." is he kidding me? "We were happy. And the only thing which hurt me is when you left. The days after all I felt pain. You never hurt me when we had each other, you hurt me when you ended it like it was nothing. Now let it go." I took my ice cream and pressed it on his cheek, leaving him there and walking on as Quinn and Dylan's ice cream melted.
Ares thinks he was doing me a favor by leaving me, full of tears and disappointment, but that wasn't a favor, it wasn't until he left that he hurt me with his disappearance. I felt used like a slut. A naive bitch that he only uses to fuck. I was scum to myself.
That hurt me. He hurt me by starting to hate myself. "Here." I held the ice cream to the two where Quinn was sitting on Dylan and was now massaging him.
But he got up immediately when I wanted to hand him the ice cream. "Thank you." They ate it as soon as I grabbed my towel. "I'll go in and get ready." both nodded.
Then I walked into Mason and Zeth's big white villa. So rather Sook. But the pictures of their father hang here not like in their house.
So it seems like Sook has never been here since Yong's death. In the kitchen, Mason and Zeth were clearing out the groceries. When they saw me, "I'm going to take a shower, then I'll help you two." I informed them, but Zeth shook his head. "No, don't worry, we'll do it. Go take a shower."
I smiled. "And what happened to you?" I looked towards the back entrance at the glass door when Mason asked Ares.
He covered his mouth and tried not to laugh out loud. "I missed my mouth, it's obvious a girl with an ice cream got me..." he couldn't continue because Zeth and Mason were laughing their ass off. I grinned too. My beautiful art.
"Apparently you deserve it. That girl could be proud of herself." I said. "Yes I did, and yes she can, but I'll keep trying because she is worth it."
My grin dropped. "Maybe you just let her? She probably doesn't want you." "I won't let her because I lost her once and can't do it again. Don't worry Aurora, she likes me, only the hate is stronger right now."
I swallowed. Is he serious? Will he keep trying? What doesn't he understand about my actions, the signals I give him? Isn't the ice cream in his face enough, or do I still have to hit him, so he understands that I don't want anything.
"I'll go then." I walk up the stairs to the bathroom to finally get ready and tried to push Ares aside in my mind.
"Is that okay?" I turned to Quinn as I changed. "Couldn't be better." I turned around and looked at myself again in the red jumpsuit. It was above my knees in length and had small flowers on it, the straps were slightly wide.
I have to say, it really doesn't look bad. I went to my suitcase and took out flip-flops, which I then put on. I put my hair up. "I'm ready." Quinn got up and put on her shoes as well. We walked downstairs together.
"Go throw." Mason opened his mouth as Ares threw food in it. They raised their hands as he scored. Zeth was just walking into the house with Dylan. Immediately, like a magnet, he moved to Quinn's side and told her how beautiful she looks. "The car is ready, we can go." everyone got ready and walk out the door. "You look very pretty, too." Ares walked next to me to the car.
"I know, I don't need it confirmed by you." "Then I misunderstood something because it looked like you would like to have what Quinn and Dylan have." of course, I wish for something like that. Their relationship is perfect.
Respect, trust, control, sex, admiration, love, appreciation, and everything else is there. She loves him and he loves her. Everyone should be jealous of something like that. "But if you come to the election, I'd rather stay alone forever."
"I know you like me Aurora, but I also know that I have to fight to win you back, and believe me I don't give up, not when it comes to you." What does he think he's doing? Buying me Flowers and all won't help to "get me". He's just making a fool of himself.
"Then good luck." He smiled and let me go first into the car. If he really thinks, he's going to do stupid things like opening the door, buying things, giving compliments. If he really wants to win me over, then he should make it right. I'm not naive anymore. Maybe just a little bit because I still feel the attraction for him more than I should.
---
"Let's take a picture." Quinn gave Zeth the camera and pulled me to the fountain that was just spouting water and shining through the dark sky. She pulled me into her arms and smiled at the camera, I smiled also when Zeth took pictures with the camera which Quinn quickly bought here.
It's one of the Polaroid's cameras. She let go of me and ran over. The picture came out. "OMG that's so cool." She showed me the picture. I picked it up and saw me and Quinn standing on our feet with a smile. I love it.
"Take it to California. Then you'll think of me." She smiled, I nodded. "But now you have to do one with my boyfriend who's just messing around again." she gave me the camera and went sternly to Dylan who was standing by the water and taking pictures of the water. I think.
She pulled him to herself, where she and I were standing a few seconds ago. He smiled for the camera as she then grabbed his chin with one hand and pulled him to her mouth as she kissed him.
He put his hand on her cheek and kissed her in the same way. I quickly took the picture. I leaned the camera down and watched the picture slowly come out. Quinn came and took it, I walked away from them and sat on the edge of the fountain as I looked at them.
I don't want to disturb them. Especially not at this moment. We may be friends, but Quinn and Dylan are much more now. I can even imagine them getting married and having kids if Quinn wants to. Her wish was never to have children, she was never cut out to be a mother. But when I look at her, I can imagine her changing her mind at this point and if she doesn't then that's totally okay too.
"You weren't just a pity fuck. Aurora..." I looked to the side and saw Ares sitting next to me. He took my hand in his. "You were more than that. You're not just some girl that I'll forget again tomorrow. You're the person I want to be by my side till I die. There's no one after you. Just you. And no matter how long I have to wait for you to trust me more wisely. No matter how many nights I have to sleep to see you lying next to me. No matter how long I have to eat by myself 'til I can do it with you every morning, afternoon, and night, I don't give a fuck how long I have to be without someone to have you again Because I could never let you go. No matter how many times I yell at the top of my lungs. No matter how many times I try to walk away. I'll always come back to you Because I'm here to stay."
"Ares..." "No Aurora. Not Ares. I don't want an answer, no reaction, just for you to know. I'll wait." "I don't know if I can really forgive you," I said anyway, although he didn't want to hear anything.
"Then it will be like this. Still, I will love you." There's a pressure inside me that I can't shake away. This pressure is strong because it wants to say it. It wants to reveal the feelings I have for Ares. Forgive Ares, but my worth is stopping it, it's trying.
My hand is shaking. I would have expected Ares to come at me with the last thing, like by saying things that can be said to any girl, buying flowers, and saying they are as beautiful as you. Gifts that were only paid with money anyway. But he said what hit the 100-point mark. Totally.
My body, my heart, and understanding cry out for his closeness, his touch, him. But my ego stops everything. At least it tries. I looked down at our hands. I see the black hair tie that I saw months ago. He's still wearing it.
He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. His hand cupped my cheek, stroking it with his thumbs. "Stop it, please." my voice became hoarse. I can't do this, if he keeps doing this, everything I was thinking about a few hours ago can break.
"I don't want to, I don't want to give up. I'm your Aurora." My brow furrowed, my vision blurry. "You're not mine, you never were. I was yours."
"Can you stop?" He nodded and let go of my hand. I went to reach for her again, but I stopped myself. I can't. No, I can't. It would contradict anything I said.
---
Everyone in the house sleeping upstairs. I sneak down to get water and find Ares in the kitchen. He's checking me out in the short pajama I wear. "Stop staring." "Don't worry, in my dreams, you're wearing less."
I rolled my eyes and went to the fridge to get the water. My thought has cooled down a bit as far as Ares is concerned. But nevertheless, it is still there.
"How are you?" I closed the fridge and looked at him. "Good." he leaned against the kitchen island, leaning on the edge with his hands on each side.
While I have a great view of his muscular chest. "Better," I said again and drank from the plastic bottle. "After the night I felt shit too, even if you might not believe it." "Yes, I do." He looked up at me. "I found myself more than guilty. Because I lost you, I even wanted to ask you weeks in advance if you wanted to be my girlfriend."
My eyes widen. Did he want to ask me? "Why didn't you do that?" "Because of my mother, she stole from me when I brought you home. When I caught her I kicked her out, she said you and I wouldn't have a future if you would be with me. At the party, Link showed it to me again." he stopped looking at me. His gaze diverged from mine.
So it was all because of his mother. She talked that shit into him. The problem is that Ares has fucking bad mommy issue, there's no other way to say it. I picked the perfect guy, right? A guy with mommy and daddy issues, he fucked half of our school, annoys a person to death, has trauma from childhood, makes a bet on you, got in fights, drives illegal car races, takes drugs, and whatever else. He has what everyone sees as a red flag, even if I see it, but I can't turn off my feelings.
I'm blind to that cause I see a broken boy looking for nothing but love. he never knew what love really is and doesn't believe in it either. anger, hate, and sadness have shadowed his beautiful and sweet side that just has to be found.
"What about her now?" "She died of an overdose last month." I put down the water bottle and came slowly over to him.
I wrapped my hands around him and rested my head on his bare chest. As he immediately swung his around me. "I'm sorry." Even if Ares's mother didn't deserve it, in my eyes that he mourns for her because of the things she did to him.
But Ares loves her. He really did even if he wouldn't admit it, but after being kicked out he still loved her, only mixed that with hate because he didn't understand that she was the way she was.
I don't want to put her in a bad light, no matter what she did, she was a person who loved Ares. However, I don't think she deserves to be a mother. Some people aren't made for it.
He held me close. My hand stroked his hair as he hid his face in my neck and cried. We stood so still. But I didn't want to say anything, either.
For me, Ares seems like a normal person who doesn't show emotions or very rarely. He is withdrawn and does not trust so easily. He doesn't grieve, but when he does, it's when he is alone. But I also hold in my thoughts that it is the first time since the death of his mother, that he really cries with someone. In someone's arms.
Even if he's an asshole, and he doesn't deserve my affection. Does he deserve to mourn?
As we continued to stand there like that it became quiet, I didn't hear Ares crying, not his sighing, nothing, but he didn't let go of me. "How can you still be like that after I hurt you?" how can I? He's right. How can I still want him around after everything?
"Because despite everything, I like you. And I hate that I still feel so good after everything." He put his hand on my cheek and pulled me towards him.
When our lips met, it was like fireworks. My whole body had goosebumps. I couldn't stop. But the kiss was slow. Full of feeling, that's how we feel the last few months came out of here, sadness, anger, love. "I hate you," I said.
"I know." He continued to kiss me. I don't know what I'm doing. I know what I'm feeling. It's a mess. It's tormenting. Ares picked me up and sat me on the kitchen island.
We just kissed. When I went to his pants, he stopped me. "No. That's not my goal. I just wanna kiss you, like we were a couple like we like each other. I don't want to sleep with you and forget about it tomorrow. I want to sleep standing up next to you. But not that, not yet." I jump off. I took his hand in mine.
"Before I will Walk with you to your room to sleep in the same bed as you, I need to say something... If I let you back in my life. Let you touch me, hug me, kiss me, be my comfort person, let you love me. Promise me you're not gonna let me down. Promise you will be there for me and promise you're not gonna hurt me again because I can't. I couldn't handle it this time. Promise me this time your not gonna say words against me, these words I trusted you with. Love me, Ares, please don't hurt me again."
"Never again. Never I swear with the words. I will never hurt you again. I love you and when I hurt you I hurt myself." He gave me a soft kiss on the forehead. "Come on then."