Carleigh Jade Revaz
"No, it can't be!"
"It can't be what?" Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang marinig ko si Sebastian na nasa tabi ko na pala. He's wearing a white hoodie and white baggy pants and he's also wearing his slides? He's only going to wear a slippers?
Well, it's that where he's comfortable?
"You startled me! Bakit bigla bigla ka na lang sumusulpot?"
"Tsk! Let's go." He said and before I could say anything I just saw him pick my shoulder bag in the couch. I automatically walks towards him and get my bag.
"You don't have to do this. A-Ako na."
"What? I'm just going to give this to you. Baka maiwan mo." Napalunok ako nang marinig ko sa kanya. I want to slap myself because of embarrassment.
My gosh Jade! How did you think that he's going to bring your bag? You're insane!
"What are you doing? Let's go." He said and I just saw him beside the door. Naglakad naman na ako palabas at hinintay ko lang syang maisara 'yong pinto.
I look at my wrist watch and it's already 8 in the evening. I'm sure Dad and Mom is not on the house yet. I don't want to go home at this time. Wala naman akong dadatnan sa bahay namin.
"What's with that face again? Hindi ka ba natunawan kaya ganyan ang mukha mo?" He said to tease me again. He's starting again.
"Yeah just tease me if you want. I don't care anymore." I said and pout my lips on my own thoughts.
"You're not annoy how am I going to smile?" I heard him said kaya napatingin ako sa kanya at mas humaba pa ang nguso ko.
"Are you asking a kiss from me?" He seriously said kaya napaiwas agad ako ng tingin sa kanya.
"H-Hindi no!"
"Then why are you pouting your lips? Do you think you're cute in that 'lil way?" I let out a deep breath. I'm being a big joke again on him again.
"It's just that I don't want to go home yet."
"Why? You want to stay on my small and uncomfortable apartment?" He said and I can sense that he's trying to annoy me. But well, I'm not going to annoy. I think I'm sad. Yeah, that's the right word. Napatingin ulit ako sa likod namin at tinanaw ang apartment ni Sebastian.
"Tomorrow I'll make over your apartment. Let's renovate it and change everything inside. It's on me so don't worry, I just want to do it for you to have a comfortable home. Hindi naman ako pwedeng magtagal sa ganyang klase ng lugar." I said at tumigil kami sa paglalakad nang nasa may kanto na kami. Tanaw parin naman namin ang apartment nya dahil hindi ganon kalayo.
"As if naman na may plano ka pang bumalik dito."
"As long as you're here I'll keep coming back her-" I was cut off when I realize what I'm saying.
"I mean I'll keep coming back here because I want to pester you and annoy you. That's it." I said immediately because he will misinterpret what I'm going to say.
"Why are you explaining already even though I'm not asking or questioning you yet?" He asked me and when I look at him he's already typing something on his phone.
"Because I don't want you to think the wrong way that's why I'm explaining it already."
"From now on don't try to explain anything to me because you don't have to. You're so easy to figure out if you're lying." He said before he put his phone on his pocket and casually look around on the street.
The lamp post beside us is the only light on us but he's shinning. Maybe because he's wearing white but I don't think that it's the reason. I know that there is something about him. And I want to be honest this time, I'm getting more interested and interested at him everytime I'm with him. It looks like I have so many things I don't know about him.
I let out a deep breath on that thought.
"Really? So what do you think of me? Am I just pretending and acting in front of you? Or I'm showing the real me?" I said while looking at him intently. I almost regret that I provoked him this staring test when he meet my gaze.
"Well it's clearly you. I mean, you never acted anyway since you follow me." He seriously said before he suddenly pulse his finger on my forehead. It doesn't hurt but I feel so scared on that thought.
May sasabihin pa sana ako sa kanya nang may tumigil nang kotse sa harap namin. Pinagbuksan nya ako ng pinto. Tiningnan ko naman muna sya bago ako pumasok. But his poker face welcome me.
Don't think anything special Jade. Lagot ka kapag na-fall ka sa lalaking 'yan. Stick to your plan.
"Are you cold?" I heard him said beside me before he said the address to the driver.
"I should be the one asking you."
"I'm not. I'm used to feel cold." He seriously kaya napatango na lang ako sa kanya. Of course he's used in cold. He's a figure skater.
"Focused on the road." Bigla nyang sabi at iba ang tono nya kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. He said to the driver na kanina pa pala natingin sa amin sa rear view mirror sa unahan. And before I could say something, nakita ko na sya na nahubad na nya ang hoodie nya at inilagay na nya 'yon sa may lap ko. Plain t-shirt na lang tuloy ang suot nya. Mahigpit naman akong napahawak doon sa hoodie nya nasa lap ko saka ko nakagat ang ibabang labi ko at tumingin sa labas ng bintana.
"Next time don't wear this kind of clothes." I heard him seriously said at inayos pa nya ang hoodie nya sa lap ko. Inilayo ko naman agad ang kamay nya dahil hindi na ako komportable sa ikinikilos nya.
"I'm fine." I just said but he look at me with authority that makes me paralyzed and don't say anything.
"You're not." He insisted before he looks at the driver who's now focusing on the road. I just let him on what he want and I just divert my attention outside the window. Buong byahe na walang umiimik sa amin. I almost become deaf because of too much silence. Laking pasalamat ko nang makarating na kami sa village namin. Nang tumigil ang sasakyan ay akma na akong bababa nang mauna pa sa akin si Sebastian. He open the door for me again.
"T-Thanks."
"This is not free. Make sure that I will see your presence on Monday." He said before he get inside the car. He's already going to close the car door when I stop him.
"G-Good night." That becomes a whisper from me.
"Sweet dreams Carleigh." He said with a smile before he close the door. Wala naman na akong nagawa kundi ang panoorin na lang ang papalayong kotse kung saan sya sakay. I let out a deep breath before I walk towards the gate and the guard open it for me.
Napatigil naman ako nang may marealize ako. Napatingin ako sa hawak ko.
It's Sebastian's hoodie.
"I will just give this to him when I see him again." I just said at dederetso na sana agad ako kwarto ko nang marinig ko si Gray.
"Jade let's talk." He said kaya hinarap ko sya.
"Gray I'm tired. Let's just talk about this tomorrow." I said to him. Bigla akong nainis sa kanya nang maalala ko ang mga sinabi nya sa akin kanina.
"I won't let you sleep tonight while you're still angry at me. I know you're mad." I heard him said and he's now holding my hand. He looks sincere but it's that, I was disappointed at him.
"I'm not mad Gray. You know I never get mad at you. I'm j-just d-disappointed." I said and let out a deep breath. I'm waiting for his response but he's just staring at my hand.
"Gray?" I said to get his attention but I just saw his poker face.
"B-Buti naman hinatid ka nya?" Sabi nya at doon ko lang narealize na sa hoodue pala sha nakatingin. Itinago ko agad 'yon sa likod ko kahit na nakita na nya.
"Yes, even he's still s-sick."
"Good to know. I hope he gets better soon so you don't have to take care of him on his small apartment."
"Gray stop being so rude." I seriously said to him because he's starting again.
"I'm not being rude. I'm just being honest. Don't judge me dahil ganito ka rin Jade."
"I'm not."
"You're not since you met that Sebastian Lee." He seriously said while looking at me kaya napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at mahigpit kong hinawakan ang hoodie ni Sebastian.
Did I really changed or I just become me?
"He's not the reason of anything about me Gray. Huwag mo syang isali sa usapan natin."
"Of course you will argue against me for him. But just a friendly reminder Jade, save yourself before you found yourself drowning over that wrong man for you." Napalunok ako nang marinig ko ang mga sinabi nyang 'yon. I don't know why but I felt scared. Scared about that thought.
"I'm not going to fall for him."
"You're not if you start to distance yourself from him."
"No!" I immediately said to him. I can see that he's surprised on what I said. But well, I'm surprised too.
"I mean, I can stop my feelings for him. I don't need to avoid him." I said to him while shooking my head at him. Hindi naman na sya nag-salita at niyakap nya lang ako.
A hug that is so tight.
"Gray."
"If you're not going to save yourself from him, I'll do it for you."
"I'm not falling for him."
"But you're in your way."
"I'm not, Gray. You're just paranoid." I said bago ako kumalas sa pagkakayakap nya.
"I think kaylangan kong bumawi sayo. Ituloy natin ang date natin this Monday. After your class?" I let out a deep breath before I nod at him.
"Great. Don't ditch me again huh? Go, have some rest. I know you're tired. Good night." He just said before he kiss my forehead. Hindi ko na 'yon pinansin dahil ganito naman sya palagi mag-paalam sa akin. Wala 'yong malisya sa aming dalawa.
"Good night." Yon lang ang nasabi ko bago ko sya nakitang naglakad palayo. Dumeretso naman na ako sa kwarto ko. While I'm in the elevator I get my phone and set the reminder for Sebastian's competition. I just put it on my calendar dahil hindi pa nya itinetext sa akin ang complete address at 'yong oras. Siguro naman umaga 'yon, kahit umabsent na ako para sa kanya dahil minsan lang naman 'yon. I-Isa pa ayoko magka-utang na loob sa kanya. Sinabi nya kasi na 'yon ang bayad sa paghatid nya sa akin.
Yon lang 'yon.
I almost didn't notice that I'm already on my room's floor.
I dive on my bed the moment I saw it. I feel so tired and the thoughts inside my head is making me more so tired. Napatiya naman ako at tiningnan ang hoodie ni Sebastian na naiwan sa akin.
"Sebastian Lee, you're messing everything in me." I said bago ko bitawan 'yon kaya nahulog 'yon sa akin. I can smell him in this hoodie. His unique perfume, I can make sure that's it only him who smells like this.
I can vividly think about him on this smell. Actually I can figure him out by just this smell on his hoodie.
Parang bigla na lang sumagi sa isip ko 'yong sinabi nya kanina.
"I mean, you're annoying face makes me smile. This is the reason of my happiness. Your crumpled face Carleigh, that's the trigger of my laughters. Did I answer your question now?"
"I'm the reason of his smile." I said out of the blue and close my eyes.
I think I'm really going crazy and I don't feel good by just thinking about it.
..