CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Give Me Away
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-Abigail-
After Jacob agreed to be part of her wedding, the atmosphere between the two of them settled into an easy calm, just like it always had been. They laughed easily and sat together on the couch, talking about everything that's been going on since they last saw each other, which was far too long ago. She could see the haunted glint in his eye when he spoke about the week that she was gone. She had remembered how long it was, she counted. And she wasn't surprised to find her family had made a call to the wolves to help find her. She could see her brother had wished he was there, but frankly she remembered the pain she was in, and was glad he wasn't. The last thing she wanted was to him to see that and blame himself, which is what everyone else was doing anyway.
"I'm fine, Jake," she said as she squeezed his hand. He didn't say anything for a few moments before he frowned.
"You know... Part of me wishes that you didn't have to turn into this...leech." She opened her lips to say something, but Jacob shook his head and put a hand over her mouth making her frown. "But I know you had to. And you wanted to. Just like Bella did a few months ago. The wolf in me wants to be disgusted; you're our natural enemy. But the brother in me doesn't care if you're a human or a leech or the creature from the Black Lagoon. I saw that with Bella, that no matter what, you'll always be you." Slowly Abigail nodded and Jacob smiled. "Don't get me wrong, most leeches I still hate. But you guys here? Well, you're alright."
"Aw, shucks, I feel all warm and tingly inside." The voice made them both then to the stairway where Emmett stood. Jacob rolled his eyes, letting his hand fall from Abigail's mouth as she giggled. "Just checking to make sure the mutt hasn't gutted you or something."
Jacob scoffed. "Please, like that's the real reason you're here."
Emmett frowned. "There's more than one way for you to gut her. Like saying no to officiating the wedding and leaving her."
Jacob's face darkened. "That'd never happen."
Emmett held up his hands. "Well she's my mom, I needed to make sure." He paused. "Plus Carlisle wasn't too thrilled I didn't stay here until I made sure that you two were okay."
Abigail's eyes went wide and she sat up straighter. "You talked to him?" she asked, her voice excited.
Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, he called to let us know they had a stop to make and then they would be home."
"Damn," she frowned.
"Language," Emmett sang and smirked at the annoyed glare he received in return.
"Did he say how long?" she wondered. While it had been easier to ignore the effects of being away from him while she was in the others' presence, it was getting more and more difficult to bear as the day wore on. She realized rather quickly that she was glad that she didn't have to go back to work at all, and loathed the idea of doing so once they moved and settled somewhere else. Perhaps she would take time off to just be with Carlisle again, not having to worry about anything other than being his mate. It occurred to her that in the nearly two hundred years before she died, there wasn't a day gone by that they weren't together. Well he worked of course, but the days were shorter. He spent fifty years in total without her, she only twenty-three, and it was creeping up on her the amount of time, the loss, they both suffered from her death.
Never again, she thought, and not just because she didn't want to die. But she now knew the truth of what her death did to him. And to the rest of their family for that matter, especially Emmett. She also had Jacob and Carlie to worry about as well, her brother and her granddaughter. There was no bone in her body that wanted to hurt any of them.
"The detour will be about five minutes," Emmett said and Abigail let out a breath of relief as he plopped himself in the chair beside her. He smirked. "Don't worry, Mom, you two can disappear in your bedroom soon enough."
Abigail rolled her eyes and sighed as Jacob grunted in disgust. "Shut up," she mumbled as a lame attempt at a come back, making the guys nearly roll with laughter. She huffed and sat back, pretending to be mad and ignored them, but really the need for Carlisle was starting to become stifling. She wanted him there, needed him there.
The other two managed to find something to talk about until they heard a car pulling off the old highway. She gasped and stood, ceasing whatever it was her brother and son were talking about, and moving for the front door quickly. She heard a laugh behind her, but didn't bother to distinguish who it was. The car meant her fiance was nearly home and if she were Alice, she would be bouncing in her spot. As it were, she barely contained herself from wiggling against the window as it got closer, noticing for a moment there was actually a second car following them, but she was far too focused on the sound of the Volvo as it quickly got closer and closer.
The person in the second car is human, she thought quickly which meant she couldn't run to him as fast as she wanted to, but there would be no holding her back once she got to him. It had been a long day and it was after five, and she was just ready to be with her love again.
Finally once they arrived into the meadow—Abigail shocked to see the second car was Charlie's cruiser—she darted out the door. Usually the Volvo would be parked in the garage with the others, but clearly even Carlisle didn't want to wait that long. He pulled up beside the house, Charlie behind them, and Abigail squealed as she raced—at human speed—down to the driver's side door.
Carlisle was already opening it and climbing out quickly, smiling and opening his arms as they were suddenly full of an over excited Abigail. He chuckled warmly, though it sounded more to her like a purr, and squeezed her tightly as he picked her up off her feet. She buried her face in his neck and breathed in his familiar, comforting scent to ground herself. He was there, he was home, and she didn't have to panic. She wouldn't have to be without him again. No more trips of just them up to Port Angeles, and she had a feeling he wouldn't be going into work anytime soon. Well, he would have an excuse anyway considering he was "mourning." It was still odd to her, but it had to be done.
Only once she was content with his presence did she pull back long enough to press kisses all over his face and neck. He slowly lowered her to the ground, her arms slipping down around his waist while his cupped her cheeks.
"I missed you, too, my sweet Abigail." He smiled and pecked her lips softly. Once, twice, three times and it was all she could do not to deepen it right then and there because she could hear the others around them and realized the women from upstairs had come out, as had Jacob.
"Get a room," he called with a smirk making her scowl and turn around to give him a gesture she was glad Emmett didn't see, because he definitely would've gotten on her case. Jacob simply laughed harder.
"My love, I think there's someone else who needs to see you," Carlisle murmured into her ear. She gave him a curious glance before it dawned on her that Charlie's cruiser was parked behind them, and Charlie was standing outside it with Bella and Carlie, hands shoved in his pockets and looking at her in such a way her knees nearly buckled.
It was then she realized she didn't have any contacts in. She forgot in her haste to get to Carlisle.
"Crap," she gasped quietly and turned to flee into the house and find a pair, but Carlisle held her arm.
"Stay," he murmured. He sighed. "We went to tell them at the precinct that you had succumbed to your injuries. But Charlie wouldn't let us speak to him alone first, and so for about five minutes, he thought you were dead. We told him that like Bella, you had to change. Edward says he's been making connections for awhile now, but isn't willing to admit it to himself or us. But...he's right on the mark. And I think he can handle it. So stay, and let him see your eyes. If you and Bella want to continue the relationship with him, then he deserves the truth."
"But what about the Volturi?"
"They won't know unless Aro touches one of us. And we're not likely to see them again anytime soon. Trust me, sweetheart, if I thought that you or he were in any danger, I never would've suggested this."
"And you think he can keep the secret?"
Carlisle nodded. "I do. He's a cop, it's part of who he is."
Abigail chuckled, but she knew he was right. Charlie had been chief of police for a long time, he knew how to keep the secrets that needed to be kept, and only release information that needed to be. The status of her humanity definitely wasn't something he needed to announce, especially since he knew it would put them all in danger. And she knew even though she was much less breakable than she was before, one of Charlie's goals was to protect her, just like he protected his own daughter and just like Abigail's father would've protected her if he were still alive.
"You're right," she murmured. She leaned up for another kiss as he smiled lovingly down at her.
"It'll be okay," he murmured back and pecked her lips one more time.
She took a deep breath and stepped away, wanting to be back in his arms, but she know she needed to talk to Charlie and make sure he was alright. Her eyes raised as she walked towards him and heard his breathing stop in his lungs as he took a look into her eyes. She could see the shock and confusion register on his face, but she didn't see any fear and for that she was grateful.
Unlike usual, she didn't leap into his arms and hug him. Keeping her strength was even more important around him; Carlisle and the rest of her family were pretty unbreakable, as was Jacob, and she was worried enough about them, but Charlie was fragile and if she ever accidentally hurt him by mindlessly crushing him... She definitely would never forgive herself, and neither would Bella. But she couldn't bring herself to look away form him either, looking up at him softly through her lashes, her gaze apologetic. She felt bad for doing this to him, she had to admit. First Bella, and now her. Truthfully she was sorry for Jacob as well, she knew that his feelings for vampires were tentative at best, and the Cullens were his only exception.
"Abi?" Charlie murmured. Slowly she gave him a soft smile and a nod. He still looked unconvinced and so she waited, taking a couple steps closer to him. She found that as a vampire, her patience grew—she had forever, she was in no rush—so she didn't mind standing there and letting him work out what he needed, however it is that he needed it. It was one thing taking in the fact that Jacob could turn into a wolf, it was a whole other thing to believe in vampires. And not only that, but his daughter and the girl that was like his daughter were both one. Abigail remembered when she first found out what Carlisle was. Of course it was after she was changed, too, but it gave her such a different perspective on life, death, and mortality.
"He knows what we are, but he isn't willing to say it out loud," Edward said only loud enough that the Cullens could hear.
"Does he hate me?" Abi murmured. Edward shook his head once and she let out a quick breath, glad that she didn't have to lose him. Not that she would blame him, of course. Something like this wasn't exactly for the light of heart; not everyone could handle the truth of what was out there. And if he didn't want to say it, if he didn't want to know all the details, that was fine with her. All he needed to know was that she was okay and that she wouldn't be hurt again. If Jones were to ever try and get his hands on her—not that he was going to be out of prison anytime soon; from what she understood, Jasper's guy was going to get enough evidence set up that there was no way he was going to get out, though she knew the video they had that was of Jones own recording was enough—she would have no trouble fighting him off and breaking free. Not that he would ever be able to get the drop on her considering her vampiric nature and instincts that had awakened once more when Carlisle turned her.
"It's me, Charlie," she finally said, taking another tentative step towards him. She heard him let out a breath, the rapid beating of his heart steadying out, and he quickly closed in the distance. Allowing herself to be moved, she felt herself being swept up into his arms and she giggled softly, squeezing him ever so gently, though she knew that it was still tight for him as he let out a huff and she eased up even a little bit more.
"I don't wanna know," he grunted into her ear, "but I'm glad you're okay. When they told me you died—" His voice cut off, choking, and she knew he wasn't going to say anything else, but he got his point across.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, hearing him grunt to her once again and then she just hugged him, glad that she was able to have this with him. Eventually she would have to say goodbye to him, the same as Bella would, but that was part of being a vampire. She had nobody to miss the first time around, but plenty this time. Abigail was just glad that Jacob would not age as long as he continued to shift. Considering he imprinted on Carlie, who would live forever, she had a pretty good feeling that he would chose to do so. He would have to say goodbye to those at La Push as well, but she knew Jacob, and he wouldn't be leaving Carlie or Abigail anytime soon.
Eventually Charlie set her on the ground again, and she smiled up at him, proud of the chief as he didn't flinch at her crimson gaze. Frankly she was cursing herself for not thinking of going to put in some contacts, but he was a strong man. It shouldn't be his burden to know what was out there, always looking over his shoulder for them, wondering if the crimes he was looking into were the work of humans or something else. But she also knew he wouldn't tell anyone, and the Cullens weren't worried about the Volturi finding out. They would never speak of it with him, and it's not as if they had any worry about seeing Aro anytime soon. He was the only of the Volturi that would be of worry considering one touch would tell him that Charlie knew.
"Let's get inside," Carlisle said from behind her, and her body calmed a slightly bit as she felt his hand on the small of her back. She nodded and took Charlie's hand gently, pulling him for the front steps. Together they went inside where Alice already had all of plans spread out over the coffee table, the couch, and both of the chairs. Abigail rolled her eyes at her daughter, but giggled when Charlie's eyes went wide.
"Somethin' you wanna tell me?" he wondered as he eyed the various wedding cake pictures; only Alice—and, technically, Edward—knew which of the cakes Alice picked, and she wasn't going to tell Abigail and Carlisle until the day of. While she was a curious person and wanted to know all of these details, even the smallest one, she trusted her daughter. And Alice knew of her colors, so it's not as if the cake would be inappropriate. However, she knew it would also most likely be one of the taller ones with the most decorations because that was how Alice worked. But it was absolutely adorable.
"Actually, I do. That's why I'm glad the boys brought you here." She grinned and tugged him into the kitchen, knowing if she moved anything she would get the stink eye from her daughter. She worked quickly to get him a cup of coffee, giving in a little and moving a bit quicker than a human and she caught his look of shock, but he didn't say anything—as she expected he wouldn't—and thanked her when she handed it over to him. She sat across the table from him with Carlisle on one side and Jacob on the other. Bella sat next to her dad, but the others had all stayed in the living room with Alice. She could hear Rosalie and Carlie helping Alice out with plans, Edward sat at the piano softly playing and she knew it was something new he was working on—she hoped for the wedding, she would never dream of another pianist—while Jasper and Emmett got out the chess game and began to play.
"So what is it?" Charlie wondered, eyeing her and Carlisle carefully over the top of his coffee mug.
"Well..." She held up her hand that held her engagement ring and saw Charlie choke. Bella thumped him carefully on the back and Abigail bit her lip to hold back the giggle. "Carlisle and I are engaged. Alice is planning the wedding for a couple months from now. We have a lot of things picked out now, that's where the girls and I—"
"And me!" Emmett called from the living room.
Abigail rolled her eyes. "—and Emmett," she appeased, and heard Jasper scoff, "where in Port Angeles, looking at dresses and flowers."
"I thought we were done with weddings for a couple years," he grumbled, and Abigail couldn't help but giggle again.
"This is the last one, I swear," she said with a grin and Charlie rolled his eyes. "But I have a question, and I hope you'll say yes." He raised an eyebrow and she took a deep breath, feeling Carlisle's grip on her hand tighten ever so slightly. "I was hoping—and Bella agreed—that you would walk me down the aisle." She paused and watched as his face twisted in a way she never saw it before and she quickly back peddled. "I-I mean, my father's gone. You were one of his best friends, and you've been there my whole life. I mean, I know Billy has, too, but I don't know... It feels right to ask you." She took a shaky breath, her whole body jumpy as she waited for his response. The fact that she couldn't read his emotions on his face didn't make it that much easier. She had been so confident before, but sitting there looking between him and Bella, feeling the way Carlisle squeezed her hand and Jacob shifted on her other side, she wasn't sure. Did she assume too much? He wasn't really one for formal affairs; maybe he didn't even want to go at all. But to the shock of her and everyone else, he stood up, rounded the table, and tugged her up into another hug.
"I would be honored," he whispered into her hair and she grinned, snuggling into his chest just like she used to his father, and taking comfort in his familiar woodsy scent and the warmth of his embrace. Her heart was happy and if it could beat, it would be pounding behind her chest with joy. As it was, it felt like her whole body was tingling, and she couldn't imagine having her life differently.
What if she hadn't been adopted by the Goodwins as a baby? What if her biological parents had kept her? What if they decided to stay there and live in Delaware instead of bringing her back to Forks? What if the Cullens had decided not to move to Forks in the first place? What if they never came back after Bella and Alice saved Edward from the Volturi? (Carlisle told her everything that happened from 1955 until they started speaking again in January.) What if she decided to stay in Seattle instead of moving back to Forks? What if she decided not to even go to the wedding?
There were so many "what ifs" and she didn't like any of them. Because if any of them had happened, she wouldn't be there right now with her family, her true family. She would always be lost, never really finding her way because her destiny was out there, and she had no way of finding it. She wouldn't know the meanings behind her nightmares or what her true identity was. Abigail Goodwin, the vampire and wife of Carlisle Cullen, was so much stronger than Abigail Goodwin, the human who felt lost even though she didn't know it at the time. This is the Abigail that she wanted to be.
And this is the Abigail she always would be.