CHAPTER THIRTY
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-Abigail-
While she had wanted to continue to believe her own sad thoughts about his motives, his words practically squashed any fight she had in her. Despite his previous words, she did believe him and she trusted him with every fiber of herself. It made her choke on guilt as she thought about her horrible words, both to herself and Emmett, and as soon as she could she would pull him aside and apologize to her son for putting that on his shoulders. He didn't deserve that and she was ashamed of her actions. At least, like Carlisle said, they had forever for her to make it up to him.
"Can I go see my children?" she asked once their lips parted, though honestly she was torn between needing to see them and taking a couple hours... Or days... Or weeks... And just not letting Carlisle out of the room, having her wicked way with him. His pause made her frown, though, and she tilted her head to the side. "I'm not going to hurt them."
He sighed. "I know. It's not that. It's just..." He paused again. "I haven't let anyone in here since we got back. I couldn't. You were injured and in agony." His eyes grew haunted. "You were so vulnerable and...and your state of undress..."
She suddenly flashed to the basement and wished she could forget, but had a feeling she never would. She winced and looked down quickly, seeing herself clean and in fresh pajamas, scrubbed of anything. She tugged up her top and saw smooth skin, no sign of a bullet wound. A touch to her shoulder told her there was smooth skin there as well. She faintly remembered having a fever, but of course that was gone well.
His face looked pained as she met his eyes again and she reached up to run her fingers along his cheek. "You better not be blaming yourself," she murmured. "I won't have that. I walked home alone, remember? I guess Charlie and my dad were always right." She tried to give him a smile, but he continued to look sad. She sighed. "Please don't, my love. That's in the past. Let's move forward." Plus, she would try everything to forget it ever happened.
"You know the kids won't hurt me, right?" she whispered then as a segue back to how they got on the topic of Jones. "I would've done the same had that been you. I understand. But I want to see them, too, Carlisle. Just for a little bit. And then we can lock ourselves away and I'm all yours."
His eyes lit up and darkened at the same time, desperation coloring his face before he sighed and slowly shook his head. She frowned.
"You need to hunt first."
It's as if his words lit a flame in her throat. She hadn't even noticed her thirst then. Her eyes went wide as her hand drifted to her throat as if that could extinguish the flames. He nodded and took her hand, tugging her for the window.
To both their shock, she was an absolute natural, just like before. She took down two deer before finding a black bear and drinking that down. Frankly she was ready for the red eyes to be gone, so the more animals she drank, she figured the sooner she would have her topaz eyes back. She sort of missed the green already, but she wasn't completely partial to them.
She sighed and smiled in contentment as he wiped blood off the corner of her lips and kissed her. "That hit the spot," she said. He chuckled.
"I'm sort of surprised you didn't go hunting right away."
She shrugged. "I'm over that newborn deal. Been there, done that."
He laughed louder. "Really? You're fine?"
She nodded. "You said Bella was good at control, right? Maybe it's that." She shrugged. "Or maybe I'm picking up where I left off. I don't feel any thirst now. It's like the deer and the bear made up for fifty years or something."
He nodded, looking lost in thought as he took her hand and together they ran back for the house. They had gone further out so she could find bigger game and she was glad to have that bear. The bigger the animal, the less gamey they were and the better they tasted. She never tasted a human and knew that was the ultimate essence, but what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. The animals were more than fine with her.
Especially with Carlisle here, she thought with a loving smile directed towards her mate. The thought made her stop right there and he felt as soon as her hand had slipped from his and he, too, stopped a couple feet away.
"Are you alright?" he asked, worried, as he put his hands on her shoulders.
She nodded and surprised him by leaning up for a demanding kiss. She heard him gasp and his arms tugged her closer and up off her feet. Did becoming a vampire make me shorter? she thought with annoyance as she seemed to be dangling more than usual. But the thought was pushed away as she wrapped her legs around his waist and used her body to push at him until he spun and pushed her back against a tree. She hissed and deepened the kiss, her tongue tasting his mouth. She decided it was much worth it to change if he tasted this much more delicious than he had before.
After a few minutes, he pulled back, eyes warring between soft with affection, and heated with desire. "What was that for?" he growled quietly.
"I love you so much, you have no idea," she breathed and his whole body softened. "You keep saving me. This is one of so many. And I can never thank you enough for it."
"Just stay with me."
"You'll never lose me, my love."
That earned her another kiss that eventually he pulled away from and she pouted, but he pointed out she wanted to see the kids and she grinned widely. She hopped down and took his hand, tugging him back for the house quicky.
Today was quickly becoming the best day of her life. She was a vampire again finally, not stuck to live and die in only a blink of time as a human. And she has Carlisle back, fully and completely. Now that she was a vampire, her dull human senses gone, she could feel the bond there. It had strengthened as she lay there changing, and she had felt even before Carlisle spoke all of his inner turmoil and pain at her questions. She had loathed to ask them, but they were out before she could stop them. As a human she couldn't feel the strength of his love for her, it was too much for a human to bear, but now it was there covering every inch of her body like a soft blanket, making her feel warmed and cared for and loved. It felt stronger than it had been before, perhaps because they had fifty years apart, and while she hadn't been privy to those years, she felt them then like a giant hole carved into her chest. She couldn't tell if it was the bond creating them or Carlisle's pain, but she figured it was both and it made her need to care for him that much stronger because she knew that what he felt over those years was a thousand, a million times stronger than what she was catching. Silently her fingers gripped his more and she promised herself to work on taking care of him later.
As soon as she stepped inside, there was a loud commotion and then she was swept up into strong arms. She heard a warning growl from Carlisle and knew he probably told them not to touch her or at least to go easy, but she knew her children and that the request had gone in one ear and out the other. And she knew the arms she was in, feet dangling, and a look of pure joy and love and affection crossed her face as she squeezed strong shoulders-careful with her own strength-and pressed her face to her youngest son's neck.
"Baby Boy," she purred softly, happily, fingers running through the short curls at the back of his neck.
"Mom," he murmured. "You're back!"
She chuckled lightly. "I'm back," she confirmed.
"Your eyes are freaky."
She laughed. "Says the vampire."
"You're staying here?"
She hesitated only for half a second, but Carlisle answered for her. "Yes."
She grinned. "Yes, I'm staying, Emmett." Everybody was silent for a moment. Of course she would never leave if she could help it. She hadn't wanted to die and leave them. They were her family, the ones she had dedicated herself to take care of and love and nurture and mother. She felt like a failure for doing so, but she would make it right.
After that, she was passed around like she had before only to wind up back in Carlisle's embrace, which she snuggled into in their usual chair. Conversation was light until Alice came bounding into the room with a binder and a large smile on her face.
Abigail eyed it. "I'm afraid to ask what that's for."
"Your wedding, silly!" she exclaimed.
Abigail sat up quickly then, eyes going wide. "Where's my ring?" she asked, her voice panicked as she realized that it wasn't on her finger. She remembered then that Jones had taken it and she heard a hiss from Edward as he heard her thoughts. "Did you guys see it?" She was desperate. Carlisle could get her another one, but that ring was irreplaceable, and not just because it was a priceless antique, but because he gave that to her so long ago when he promised to devote himself to her as he said, "I do." It showed everyone that she was his.
"Oh shit, I did, sorry," Emmett finally said and held up a finger, flashed from the room, and was back a second later.
"Language," Abigail snapped to him as he came back and he just grinned. He held it out to Carlisle as she sighed in relief and Carlisle gently took her hand. He slid it back in place. She smiled and leaned in to take a tender kiss from his lips, her eyes flashing as a pillow hit her side and she looked over at Emmett who was wincing and grinning at the same time.
"Get a room!" he called.
She sighed in aggravation. "Don't test me, boy." He simply roared with laughter and she shook her head, exasperated.
"Anyway," Alice announced over their voices and gestured back to the book. Suddenly all the guys and Bella had something to do and were gone a moment later. Only Carlisle stayed and only because neither of them were quite ready to let the other out of their sight.
"That's a big binder for such a small wedding," she pointed out wryly.
"That's not the only one," Carlisle said, amused at the look of horror Abigail shot him.
"Small, Alice," she said firmly.
"This is the small one," the pixie insisted. "Vampire, spring, outdoors if possible but with a backup indoor plan, and no humans."
"No humans?" Abigail asked confused. "Charlie, Billy, Sue, Old Quil..."
Alice looked uncomfortable. "Mom... You're a vampire now."
"Yeah, I noticed." She pointed to her face and her crimson eyes.
"You're too...new. You could hurt them."
"I'm two hundred and fifty-three years old, I'll have you know." She sighed at Alice's look. "We had a human priest the first time we got married, and I didn't eat him. Not even a nibble. Tell her, Carlisle." She patted his arm and gestured to their daughter.
He chuckled warmly. "She's right. She did perfectly. And I think she'll be different this time. More like Bella. It's like she picked up where she left off."
Abigail nodded. "I'm not thirsty. I've never tasted human blood and I never plan to." She paused. She had, but only her own, and that didn't count as she hadn't meant to choke on it, and she was still human when it happened. "If I didn't think I could handle it or that they were in any danger, I wouldn't even suggest it."
Alice and Carlisle exchanged a look before nodding. "Alright, I'll be right back." She was gone and back in a second with a new binder, the same size, but the writing on the front said, Vampire, Spring, Outdoors, Humans.
"You really planned for everything, didn't you?"
Alice nodded excitedly. "I have one for every possible outcome! If you were a vampire or not, every season of the year, indoors or out, and then humans or not."
Abigail had to admit, she was impressed and a bit proud and she smiled at her daughter. "I'll hand it to you, you're organized." Alice grinned with the compliment. "Shouldn't we hold it inside anyway? I mean, I think Charlie's the only one who doesn't know about us. How would we explain to him we need to move it inside if the sun comes out?"
"We'll have it in the early evening, like Bella and Edward's. The sun won't be shining on the east side of the house, so we'll have it there."
Abigail nodded. "So how much do you have in there? Have you actually decided on stuff?"
"Yes and no. Food, cake, music yes. But things like the colors and the dresses, no. Those are all you, you're the bride."
Bride! She gazed over at Carlisle who smiled at her lovingly and kissed her temple before nuzzling her. At least the nuzzling the kids were used to.
"Maybe we can head into Port Angeles sometime this week since there aren't any dress shops in Forks. Or maybe even Seattle."
"Port Angeles is fine," Carlisle said quickly, stiffly. Dress shopping meant he wouldn't be there and she understood him not wanting her four hours away. Port Angeles would probably be pushing it enough. She reached for his hair and nodded.
"Port Angeles it is," she confirmed. "I'll take a half day and-" She paused. "Am I even still employed?"
Carlisle looked uneasy for a moment. "Well, we had assumed that you would be more wild than you are, so we used...what happened...as an excuse saying you weren't ready to go back." It made sense and she winced a bit at the reminder-something she had been avoiding as much as possible-causing Carlisle to nuzzle her.
"What about you?" she wondered.
"I've taken on the role of your personal physician and will only go in if they're understaffed."
She let out a breath and nodded. "Good," she confirmed. She didn't think she could be away from him that long.
Another thought popped into mind as she tried to focus on anything but the previous week and turned to Alice. "Can you get Bella back here? I want to ask her a favor."
Alice looked surprised for a moment before her gaze unfocused and then snapped back and she grinned. She quickly called Bella as Abigail laughed. Of course she saw her question.
It only took about a minute for Bella to get back with Edward and Carlie. "So," Abigail started, "my father's dead." Bella raised an eyebrow.
"Yes..." she hedged.
"I was hoping you would be okay with Charlie giving me away."
Bella's lips parted in shock but then she grinned widely. "Of course I don't mind! He would be honored, Abi." Abigail lit up.
"That makes me so happy!" It was decided then that Bella and Rosalie would be bridesmaids, Alice would be maid of honor which almost made the girl cry, Jasper and Emmett would be groomsmen, Edward would be best man, and then Carlie would be flower girl. Abigail really wanted to include Jacob somehow and they decided to ask him to get ordained to carry out the ceremony. She knew Carlisle would rather have a priest, but Jacob marrying them was Alice's idea and the look of pleading on Abigail's face finally made him agree. Abigail knew it wasn't fair because she knew that he always gave into her, but Jacob not being included at all felt wrong. This way her brother could be part of her day.
Port Angeles was planned for Monday morning, and even Bella agreed to go. None of the cars could fit all five of them, so they would be taking Carlisle's Mercedes and Rosalie's BMW. With a gentle coaxing from Carlisle, the girls agreed to bring Emmett along. They were vampires and could take care of themselves, but Carlisle newly found his mate and had those feelings that came with newly mated pairs, so there would be no talking him out of it. They all knew he would rather go, but he was the groom and he couldn't see the dress beforehand.
Once it was all decided and settled, Abigail slipped off Carlisle's lap and pulled him up into he waiting embrace. "Sorry, ladies, you must excuse us. We have some business to attend to."
The answering smirks told her they all knew what "business" she spoke of and she simply winked and pulled Carlisle for the stairs. The day with her children was wonderful, but the longer it went on, the higher the craving for her mate was. She tried to hold it back, but they hadn't properly consummated their bond and it was time they did.
She didn't plan on leaving the bedroom the whole weekend.