Kalindi had hidden the news of Aniruddh's death from Sumati but had given her the full account of his wellbeing and the full story leaving the details of his place of stay that night. Sumati had wanted to visit him immediately but couldn't. They had called the haveli to inform them of their arrival the next day but got to know he was out and busy. And this morning came the bad news and Sumati with Kalindi didn't loose time reaching haveli. Bondita was not home.
" Where is she ?!" Kalindi was disappointed on top of worrying for her Jamai Babu who lay motionless on the bed.
" To school Thakuma." Sampoorna replied but her words were not answered back. Kalindi didn't like her for what she did to Sumati. And ofcourse for her wrong ways to enter haveli. She liked to call it ' तीयाचरित्र'. Meaning her loose of a character.
" How can she go to school when he is in this condition ?!" Sumati exclaimed looking at Trilochan. " My daughter is a fool !" Sumati had tears in her eyes. She was scared for her Jamai Babu but also for her daughter. What if this was not taken well by her Sasural ? What if she is blamed for his health ? " Hey Durga maa ! Zamindar Babu..." She turned to Trilochan with pleading eyes. " please forgive my Bondita... She does stupid things sometimes..."
" Don't worry about her at all. I allowed her to go."
" You...did...?" She spared a glance at Aniruddh. But...he needed her.
" Yes. But Aniruddh would be furious to know I didn't let her go to school. We all know that can't be risked." He acted of closing his ears signalling Aniruddh's infamous loud rants trying to bring some humour to the conversation being held in the room where his son layed unaware.
Sumati and Thakuma still felt Bondita should have been here but they both didn't want to press the matter afraid it might change the light mood of the Bade Zamindar rendering him libral to his Bahu... daughter of the Das family. With subtitle exchange of thankful expressions between the women, they decided to leave the topic of Bondita's absence.
" Bade Malik..." Bihari came to the door.
" Yes ?" Trilochan asked.
" Aarti ji is here...to see Barrister Babu."
" But he is..."
" She knows. That is why she has come."
" Oh." Trilochan's eyes brows creased. Will it be ok if he let her in Aniruddh's room ? Afterall she was just a lowly member of the village. He couldn't just allow anyone to climb up the stairs of the haveli that too to someone's bedroom. But exceptions could be made. What else would you do when the person is ill ? People did visit sick people in their rooms. Her status could be overlooked for a few days for she saved Aniruddh's life. Or atleast helped him, majorly. " Bring her up..."
Sampoorna wanted to protest but could not. The presence of two women, one of whome she had almost killed, another who could kill her. The words didn't come out of her mouth.
Aarti entered the room and greeted everyone standing there. " This is Aarti." Trilochan introduced her to Kalindi, who had realisation on her face, and Sumati. " She was the one who...saved... Aniruddh." Kalindi was thankful Trilochan didn't reveal exactly how.
" Really...?" Sumati came forward. " You did ? You saved my Jamai Babu ? You don't know what have you done for us." Her voice was thick with gratitude making Aarti embarrassed.
" I ... didn't do much... Just helped him in the hospital a little." She said quickly before anyone could say anything about the truth. She really didn't want it to come out. Who knows what consequences she might have to face ? Even he won't be spared.
" You are very humble beta. Durga maa bless you."
Aarti smiled in return but her eyes landed on Aniruddh and it vanished. His pain fresh in her memory, his muffled scream coming back to his ears. How did this happen ? How could they be so careless with him ? He had been alright yesterday. But not much, she remembered. He had looked drained the other night while he was trying to cheer his little wife up. He had thanked Aarti with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. She stepped near him.
" How is he...?" She asked.
" Not that well..." Trilochan said heavily. " But...but would be alright soon .. He will be ok before Bondita comes back."
" Back...?" The question just left her lips before she could realise she should not have asked. She might know Aniruddh but she was not his fast friend. She had no social standing to be among the people she was amongst right now. Leave social status, she didn't know this family well to be asking personal questions.
" She is in her school." Sampoorna answered.
School ? Leaving him like this ? From what she heard from villagers, Bondita loved her husband. Was crazy about him. Maybe not true afterall.
" Barrister Babu would have wanted it." Aarti smiled and it made Sampoorna angry. Maybe she was wrong to judge her quickly but she just couldn't help it. " He has done so much for education of young girls. He would not want any of them to miss even a single day of school."
" Yes. Yes...he has done much." Trilochan agreed. Maybe too much.
" We should get going Zamindar Babu." Kalindi announced.
" So soon ?" Trilochan asked.
" Yes. We just wanted to see Jamai Babu."
" Wait till Bondita comes back."
" No. It would be too late. Take care of him. And please tell me if you need anything. Day or night. We will come running." Kalindi turned with a worried look to Aniruddh.
" I know..." The soft voice of Trilochan made her look at him. Old memories resurfacing. One when she really had come running to him. She didn't want them to knock at her old heart. She was too forgone for that. But it seemed...he wasn't.
" I am waiting outside Sumati." She said in a low voice but could not take her eyes off Trilochan's face. He was worried. He was pained. And now...he was disheartened too.
" I will accompany you...to the door..."
Kalindi didn't resist the request wanting not to create unnecessary dialogue. Trilochan and Kalindi left leaving Sumati , Sampoorna and Aarti behind. Aarti was about to turn and leave when she noticed the pillow under Aniruddh's neck kept at an awkward position.
" His...neck is hurting. I think..." She told Sampoorna bending just a little to have a proper look. This made Sampoorna stomp her way upto her with her big belly as fast as she could and stand between Aarti and his bed blocking her view.
" Really ? Let me see." She turned to Aniruddh and bent like Aarti had, pushing Aarti back in the process. " No it is fine." She declared.
" Oh. But I thought it looked..."
" It is fine." Sampoorna pressed her lips in a smile but Sumati knew she wasn't actually smiling. She knew her well. She had been her daughter once.
" I...am sure...it is...but..."
" Somnath has placed it that way." Sampoorna was getting irritated. What did this woman think of herself ?! " He is a doctor you know ? Barrister Babu must have told you about him. No ?"
" I...I know... Zamindar Babu is... studying to be a doctor." Aarti replied taking a step back clearly understanding that she had somewhere crossed a line making the woman defensive of a man of her house. She looked around nervously. Her purpose of the visit was completed. She wasn't satisfied though. He was here with his family but his wife was absent. He was not well and was in the haveli instead of a hospital. Well... maybe they could afford all the facilities to reach their home. Still...
But Aarti knew better than to open her mouth for that matter. " I... should get going." She said. Sampoorna just smiled wider with those close pressed lips. " I would...come see him again... Tomorrow noon or day after tomorrow."
" Please." Sampoorna was trying to be polite wanting to give her a chance without giving into her prejudiced opinion she had formed of the social worker in just one meeting. Just one meeting and that one look she had passed Aniruddh when she thought no one was watching. But maybe she had read it wrong. Maybe she was just being silly about it all. " Do come in the evening." She tried sounding sweet, didn't know if she achieved it. " Bondita is home that time." Aarti smiled but Sampoorna just didn't, didn't like it. She had reasons she was not sure she would be able to prove valid to the people of the haveli who had a better heart... better than her.
" Oh sure." Aarti answered politely. " I would be able to meet Chhoti Malikin ji." She said remembering how sweetly had Bondita behaved yesterday instead like a typical high class family's Bahu. She really was Barrister Babu's student. " I hope he gains his senses soon." She wished out loud."
" Oh I hope he gets it back only after Bondita comes back." She didn't notice what her words were until she saw her Pishi's eyes widen.
" Sampoorna..." Sumati had been observing this unseemly behaviour Sampoorna was issuing towards the lady who helped preserve her daughter's happy life. But wishing a delayed recovery of her beloved Jamai Babu ?! She could not out right yell at her infront of an outsider but she did want to say something now. " Jamai Babu should come back as soon as possible...! Aarti...Thank you for your wishes."
" Yes... thankyou Aarti." Sampoorna was a little intimidated by Sumati but a thank you to Aarti had it flowing away. " It is just that... Aniruddh is really, really stressed. The reason for his state." Sampoorna too had been quite worried about him...till this woman showed up. Now she was worried about Bondita. " And nothing stresses him more than the absence of his Bondita." Sampoorna was sure to impress on that word hard. Sumati felt a little solace at these much troubling words. She knew her daughter ment so much to him but still hearing it again and again was a blessing. She felt really guilty of enjoying this little happiness when the man responsible for it had his eyes closed. " If he wakes up..." Sampoorna continued " and not find Bondita... You can't even imagine Aarti what would happen...!" Sampoorna ended with a dramatic exclamation, her eyes set on Aarti, to catch even a flicker of envy to satisfy her judgement of her. " There is going to be no one else he would want to look at when he opens his eyes... That is why I said that Pishi." Sampoorna was done but her eyes didn't leave Aarti.
" I wish him a healthy recovery." There just was nothing for Aarti to say anymore after Sampoorna's skittish speech. " I should take my leave... Namashkar..."
The moment Aarti left Sumati seized up Sampoorna. " What was that ?" She asked half whispering, afraid as if to wake him up. It was so hard for her to believe that he was not just sleeping. That he was...
" What was what...?" Sampoorna had lost all the jest she had a moment ago.
Sumati stepped out of the door as she saw Bihari entering, signalling Sampoorna to follow her. They stood at the opening of the balcony of Aniruddh's unit of the haveli. " The way you were talking to her."
Sampoorna was sure she would not have been this angry had she known about the sleeping arrangements of her Jamai Babu that unfatefull night. But she could not put that up in her defence as it was strictly prohibited by her Jeth ji to talk of it to anyone else who was not present when Aniruddh opened account regarding his whereabouts. If she did so, she would be in a compromising situation and Bhagwan ji knew she could not afford it. " I was...just making conversation..."
" Oh. The high and mighty Badi Malikin of Roy Chowdhury haveli needed to make a small conversation with a petty social worker ?"
Sampoorna had not expected it to be a pleasant conversation with the woman who had treated her like a daughter once, the woman she had almost killed in her greed. No sugar coated , bypass excuse would cut through her. She was Bondita's mother. She would understand. She should know. " I don't like her." Sampoorna said.
" Not surprised here. You don't even like your own sister. Your own blood."
" Pishi..." It hurt. But she deserved it. No amount of sorry words were of any use now. Might as well use this time to say something which was meaningful. " I think...she looks at Aniruddh..." There was a long pause.
Sumati could not believe it. " You..." She pointed a finger at Sampoorna. " Did you say this to Bondita...?!" She knew exactly what Sampoorna meant.
" Pishi...no..."
" And don't you dare do it. Don't try to plant seeds of distrust in my daughter's mind. Jamai Babu...he is the most loyal man and...he would never go to any other woman !"
" But I said nothing about Aniruddh !" Sampoorna clarified desperately as Sumati turned her face away from her. " I am saying...it is Aarti... I just feel..."
" Do you think every woman is like you ?" Broken glass cuts sharp, not as sharp as those words cut Sampoorna. A very short period of her life did she live like her mother told her to but that was enough to ruin everything good she had in her life. And she would not have even realised if not for the baby she was carrying.
" You are right..." Sampoorna felt tears at the back of her eyes. " I was one such woman...and so I can recognise such a woman. No one can... better...than me." She looked into her eyes in all bare truth. Wasn't it the truth ? The very way she had acquired this place. In all sensiority to Durga maa, it had been a desperate attempt on her part to escape what she felt was a disaster in her already turmoil of a life. A widow at such young age was to be married to a much older man. If older was what she was getting, it might as well be good and she had trapped Binoy even before she could weigh if the path was right. Aarti might be completely innocent and her own blemished mind was comparing her to her own wrong doings but the comparison was uncanny to avoid. It wasn't even a comparison as such as it was the similarity.
Same plain outfits drawing attention to the natural beauty like her widow attire. Same loose hair with no adornments of endearments, symbols of a man in life. Those innocent eyes, lost and robbed of shine and hope looking for them in other people's happiness. And...the same desperation. Of standing at step of society where everyone just walked over you. How easy was it to slip. How similar was she to her. That was the reason she was pricking in her sight. She was too similar to the Sampoorna who was taken advantage of by her mother and manipulated and changed into a greedy woman who had ended up hurting the one little soul she always considered closest to her heart.
And men...men with power were drawn to such women. Those lost eyes called to them. That loneliness... wanting them to fill it. The simple saree, making her look pure and fragile, they wanted to shower her with colours. It was an urge. A manly impulse rather than love. Or even physical attraction. It was a whole other pit. A whole other darkness men fell into with smiles. Binoy had. When she chained him to herself, he had seen her true colours but she won him over with her youth, beauty and... seduction. And all this when Binoy was so much older. Around her father's age if not more. Aniruddh was a much better catch. Much attractive, much compatible...and much much endearing to a woman who craved.
" Sampoorna. I don't know what you are playing at. Just... leave my children alone !"
" And if I am right ?" Sampoorna stood her ground. " I admit I can be wrong. But if I am not ? I was once your daughter..."
Sumati turned to her at these words, their moments together rushing up. Sampoorna was the one she had depended on when she married off her daughter to an unknown man. She had known Sampoorna would look after Bondita and she had.
" Pishi. Could you have ever imagined that I would become something like this ? But I did. The conditions of my life were not good. I was jealous and I got greedy. But I was not always like that. All I used to feel was...longing. Longing to be cherished...as...Aniruddh cherished Bondita." She remembered how she got scolded by Trilochan for just looking at the happy couple. She had meant them no harm. " And yesterday... Aniruddh sat talking to her in this very haveli, all happy and greatful and thankful to her but her eyes...were on the hand that held Bondita's."
Sumati felt as if she was looking at this all through her own eyes. Or was it just Sampoorna's ? She brought a hand to her heart as she finally gave a thought to what Sampoorna was saying could be right.
" I saw that longing in her eyes..."
Bondita hardly could concentrate on the board in school. The moment the school was over both Batuk and Bondita ran to the motor car to reach haveli. Aniruddh had not woken up. It was so disheartening. So weakening. But she held herself up. She got the news of her mother's arrival and departure. As well as Aarti Ji's. She needed to meet her to thank her properly. She now understood why her Pati Babu was that greatful to her. She got changed in the simplest clothes as fast as she could. She didn't feel like dressing up. What was the point of he was not looking ? And she had to look after him. Heavy jewellery would just come in her way.
With pile of books and a few snacks, Bondita sat down at the side of the bed her Pati Babu was on. Reading each sentence out as if talking to him. Food was not going down her throat but she ate. She had to be strong. The doctor came for another visit and injected few medicines. Som Dada followed him out. It was night already. Sasurji had been out of the village and to a place with no telephone. A letter had been sent to him but who knew when would it reach him. A day...two ?
" Pati Babu..." She bent to him. " Wake up before your Baba comes. Imagine what would he...feel if he comes back and sees you...like..." Bondita wiped a tear from her cheek. " Wake up Pati Babu..."
" Bahu..." Trilochan had come with a plate of food for her. " Here. Eat something."
" Ji Kaka Sasurji..." She just quitely ate as her Kaka Sasurji accompanied her. Her food was almost done when Somnath entered.
" Kaka..." Somnath looked tensed.
" He is ok right ?" Was the only question that came to Trilochan's mind.
" He seems to be. He was unconscious...due to many reasons but... sleep deprivation and hunger were elements. He was given a few medicines for that. To relax his mind...to sleep. That is why it is taking him this long to wake up."
" It is good... Right Dada...?" Bondita asked hopefully. " It is due medicine ?"
" That is the thing Boudi. It can be the case. Nothing can be said certainly till he wakes up. If...not..."
" If not...?" Trilochan was having a hard time understanding all this.
" We will have to admit him in the hospital."
" Hospital ?" Trilochan exclaimed getting up as Bondita placed her hands protectively over her Pati Babu's chest. Plate long forgotten " Why ? We...we can get all we need...right here. Don't worry about the expense beta..."
The helplessness of his Kaka saddened him. He moved closer to him. " Kaka. A hospital is a much better place than home. You know that. He would get better treatment there. Betty attention. A doctor would be near Al the time."
" But..."
" Kaka...it is the right thing to do."
" How..." Bondita started as she looked at the sleeping form of her Pati Babu. " How long should he take...to wake...up...?" She managed to complete the sentence.
" He should have been up by now Boudi." This further sunk her heart as she let her little hands roam over his chest sipping back a tear or two, eyes set on his face. " But it could just be because of his tiredness. He...he might wake up anytime." Somnath tried to give her some hope. It was not a false one.
" He will..." Bondita replied through tears not wanting to cry at all. " He will. He is..." She let her hand trace its path from his forehead to his left cheek and down to his jaw. " just tired. He will wake up soon. Won't you Pati Babu...?" She whispered the last part only for him.
Trilochan and Bondita waited till everyone went to their beds, none fell asleep. How could they ? One was worried about his future and support he got from Aniruddh, one was completely relying on him to show him the way. One worried about him as an old man worried about his walking stick and one worried for him knowing he is the one who would accept her baby with full heart making his brothers do so too.
No one more than the little girl who had not blinked a wink of sleep, afraid she would loose a moment of his sight.
" Jeth ji..." Sampoorna was trying to sleep. Things twisting and turning in her brain kept her awake. " You go and sleep. I will keep her company."
" No. No. You need proper rest. I am ok."
" Ok. Then go rest for a bit. I will sit with her till then."
Trilochan had to go to strech his old knees which were getting swollen due to long sitting. He also had to go to the toilet. " Ok. For a while..." He got up. " Bihari is sleeping just outside. Call him immediately if you need help. Ok ?"
" Ji..." The girls replied.
" Bondita..." Sampoorna said making sure Trilochan had left. " I am sorry."
Bondita turned to her sister standing behind her. " What for ?"
" I was...very harsh..."
" The truth always is..." Bondita looked down. Everything her Didi said was true. The proof lay right by her side, on this bed.
" But... still..."
" No Didi..." Bondita felt her emotions being stirred again. " There is no excuse." She turned to her Pati Babu, kept her hand on his right one. " You know... when I was... pregnant..." It would never be easy to say it out loud. " I didn't like to eat. But he knew that. He noticed it. And...and you know he...he used to make excuses like ' and...and ' give me some food not just coffee Bondita'. All, all so I would sit with him and eat those two morsals that he fed me himself. And...I..." Her lips quivered with shame her eyes shed tears of. " He...was... hungry. Hungry. Can...can there...b...b...be a greater...sh...shame...!"
Sampoorna reached for her and held her from behind as Bondita latched herself to the arms encircling her shoulders. Bondita felt her body rock with silent sobs as she pressed her lips tight to not let escape even a sob.
She knew he could feel her...
It would hurt him.
" Didi..." She tried to speak again. " Yo...you know...I once blamed hi...him...for not noticing...my...my... delima with this... whole...law thing. How...how could he have...read...m...my mind ? But...no... I... secretly... blamed him. And today...I... could not...see his... open... open wounds !" It felt as if air was being sucked out of her very throat. " I...I could...never... understand him..."
" Bondita...!" Sampoorna stood straight and pulled her sister up. " If you don't understand him then no one does !"
" He is doomed then... isn't...he...?"
" Bondita !" Sampoorna took her face in her hand. She could even had shook her vigorously to bring her out of her stupid thoughts. " He knows you care for him."
" Some care...I did..."
" You did ! You did ! Or he would have ended up like this long ago."
" No...no...I am just..."
" His Bondita..."
The softness in her Didi's voice reminded her of their past. Their bond back then. The Didi who had washed her dirty saree as her Pati Babu had washed her dirty sheets. The two people who had loved her the most.
" You are his Bondita. He... doesn't want you to look after him...he wants you to be with him. Just your presence..."
" That... doesn't mean I don't even look after...him. Didi...I didn't even... even ask him how he felt when our baby died !"
" Oh... Bondita ! Bondita !" Sampoorna understood her pain. " You are too young. You...you will always be younger than him. He will always be able to care about you better, teach you better, support you better than you can do for him. That doesn't mean you are doing any less. According to your age...you have done more than any grown woman can imagine. You can't compare your efforts to him...he is much matured than you. Will always be. You have to spend a life time with him. Don't you...?"
Bondita vigorously nodded her head in yes like a child. " Then...how long will you let this difference come between you ? Stop thinking like this. All he cares about is your hand in his."
" But it is not enough. Look what it has lead to..."
" Bondita. Yes. You did lack somewhere. But...you are just a child..."
Yes...a child. Just a child. Not the grownup mature woman she wanted to be for him to accept her as his wife but just a girl. A little girl he was right to maintain that marrital distance from.
" Things did escape your mind but you didn't do it deliberately. You were suffering all those times. Even this time..."
" And so was he...so was he...!" Bondita threw her arms around her Didi and cried. " So was he...!"
Sampoorna caressed her back. " It's ok Bondita. We all make mistakes. We all fail sometimes. That is what makes us human." Bondita sniffed more hiding her face in her shoulder. " Now take good care of him. I know you already have everything planed out." She pulled back looking at her little sister. " Haven't you...?"
Bondita nodded again. " I...I will talk...to him. Listen...to him. Ask...ask him about...hi...his day. His work. His dreams. I will...feed hi...him... myself. I will...not...not leave him alone...for a moment... I... I... won't...I..."
" I know..." Sampoorna smiled as she wiped tears from her sister's chubby cheeks. " Now rest."
" I won't..."
" Bondita..." Sampoorna said sternly. " Go lie down."
" He... here...?"
" Where else...?"
" No...no...he won't like it..."
" What he won't like is his Bondita sitting all night."
" But..."
" Ok. Go to your room and sleep. I will stay here. Or Jeth ji."
" No...!"
" Then go and lay beside him." There was no room for excuse.
" But...Kaka...Kaka Sasurji..."
" He won't be back for sometime... I will shut the door so he will knock. But yes won't close it all the way or else he would think you have locked him out to be with your Pati Babu alone !" Sampoorna said smiling widely trying to cheer her sister up by teasing.
Bondita was tempted. Her back hurt but she had not wanted to leave the room. This was a good idea. They had slept together before. Just...they had both been in agreement. In her room. She didn't know how he would react to see her beside him, on his bed. In his room. But she decided she did need to rest and shyly nodded a yes to her Didi.
Sampoorna left a slight gap in the door and Bondita nervously climbed on the bed. This was different. They had cuddled twice before. Both the times for her. Because she was in pain. To help her out of it. Now that it was her turn to comfort him, he was not even aware of her presence. And it felt a little... unfair...to him. Sleeping beside him without his permission. She knew he would have not done that without a good reason.
But this was a good reason too. Wasn't it ? She wanted to rest but also wanted to keep an eye on him.
Yes...it was ok...
Bondita lay close to him. All her limbs to her side, folded in herself as her eyes pried to look at him. She was scared of moving as she might touch him which was ironic as she had left more than half of the bed empty to sleep right next to him.
He won't mind if she innocently placed a hand on his chest. Would he...?
He... won't...
A light hand was placed over his chest. Even that was not enough to erase her uneasiness...fear. She had found herself quite shy around him but this...he won't know of.
She slowly placed her head on his chest. Very lightly so as to not hurt him. His heartbeat right under her right ear.
Yes...yes. That is what was going to be her lullaby. His beats... telling her all was well...
" Wake up soon Pati Babu..."