It was dark, and the wind carassed everyone's skin and hair as they strode along the sidewalk, their feet hitting the ground, a definite purpose in each of their steps. The sound of their shoes hitting the pavement was methodical and repetitive, one foot after the other again and again. They could all hear one another's voices echoing each other through the dense air while they approached the restaurant, excitement and hunger thriving through their veins. Aaron eagerly grabbed the handle of the door and swung it open, stomping in before everyone else.
"Finally." He chanted, taking a deep breath as he turned to face everyone else.
Ashley and Matt were behind everyone else, quietly talking, Matt sympathetically explaining how Jack had found her letter. Ashley could feel her heart pumping and her blood rushing through her entire body, her breathing becoming heavy from exertion and emotion.
"It's okay, he didn't read it. He wouldn't." Matt said reassuringly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Ashley took a deep breath and sighed, shaking her head. "How could I be so fucking stupid? I left it there."
"Don't worry, Ashley, it's fine."
Ashley looked ahead and realized that everyone was inside the restaurant already. Pulling herself away from Matt's hold, she covered her face with her hands and quietly sobbed. "It's not though, Matt, you don't understand. I still love him and all I can think about is the fact that he's probably laughing at me because of how fucking stupid and pathetic I am. I keep telling myself that I can suck it up and act like nothing happened between us but I fucking can't and it's-"
"Ashley, stop. Look at me."
Matt cupped Ashley's face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "Don't touch me." She quietly whispered.
"Look at me."
Ashley shut her eyes for a few moments, shaking her head. A breeze blew softly against her skin. She opened her eyes and forced herself to look up at Matt.
The streetlight lamp shone down on his face, she could see that his brow was furrowed and his lips were sent in a descending frown. His dark hair was ever so slightly being ruffled by the breeze. He met her eyes, searching them. He reached up to wipe her tears with his thumb, gazing at something behind her for a moment before looking back at her eyes.
"You really do love him, don't you," Matt said, his voice coming out in an exhale. "I know you do."
"Yes," she said, fresh tears falling down her face without consent.
"Ashley, you need to stop this, you need to stop running away from him. Jack cares about you more than anyone in the world, we all know it. You have to listen to what he has to say and let him explain why he did what he did, it's not what you think." Matt breathed out, his hand retracting from her face.
"I can't, Matt, every time I look at him it just reminds me of what we used to have and it's driving me fucking crazy. I miss him more than anything, but I can barely even look at him without wanting to break down. If he really loved me, he wouldn't have hurt me."
"Fuck Ashley, he loves you, he talks about every goddamn day. He keeps pictures of you guys in his bedroom and he watches videos of you guys together all the time. He fucking loves you."
Ashley opened her mouth to say something, until someone unexpected stepped from behind her.
It was Jack.
Ashley choked, her throat becoming tight. She realized that Matt had known Jack was behind her the whole time, and she felt a pang of betrayal and sadness thrive through her body. She wanted to run. She wanted to run until her heart couldn't pump anymore blood and it burst. She wanted to run until she couldn't feel her legs and her shoes were worn through.
"Why?" She whispered quietly, her voice breaking.
Matt shook his head, "I'm sorry, but you need to talk to him Ashley. We all miss the way things used to be. I know you guys miss each other, at least just please listen to what he has to say."
Ashley pondered for a moment, taking a quick glance at Jack standing sadly beside her, letting out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding in. "Fine, but just for a few minutes." She implied, pulling the sleeves of her sweater down.
Matts eyes widened and he began to stutter, "Really? Okay. I'll... leave you two alone then."
Matt turned away from Ashley and Jack and quickly walked towards the restaurant. Ashley watched as he put his hand on the door handle and swung it open, stepping in.
She turned towards Jack. He didn't try to step towards her. He simply stood, his hands by his sides.
"Okay," She said sternly. "What do you want to say?"
Jack looked at her sympathetically. "Ashley, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry I hurt you. I miss being around you, I miss kissing you, I miss laying in bed with you, I miss waking up to you, I miss doing nothing with you, I just miss you. I wish I never hurt you, god do I ever. Leaving you was the worst decision I ever made. But I was scared-- I was scared that while I was on tour you would find someone so much better than me and end things between us. I couldn't handle it if that happened, Ashley. I love you for fuck sakes, I love you so much."
Ashley stood there, frozen. Tears continuing to fall down her rosy cheeks. Her heart ached and she wanted to go back in time and change everything. She wanted to go back and reassemble the broken pieces of their past, making things right. But she couldn't, and she knew that. There was no use in even thinking about changing the past, because it was impossible.
Jack stepped towards her and ran his fingers against her warm cheeks, wiping away her tears. "You know I hard you talking to Matt," He let out slowly, a year sliding down his face. "You can't possibly still love me after everything I've done to you."
Ashley took in a deep breath, her eyes fixated on the pavement beneath her feet. "Yes.... I can. and I do. But I can't do this again, Jack."
"I made a mistake, that's done, it's final, I know that. And I regret it more than anything in the world. But nothing I do will ever make me un-love you."
Ashley looked at Jack, locking her eyes with his. He stared at her with intensity, his expression sad and grim. "You need to go." She said quietly.
Jack lightly shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "No, no. I'm not going anywhere. I've got all night. We can stand here for hours, you and me, or we can stand here until you decide what you want to do. Because no matter how worthless I've made you feel or what actions you make, nothing will make me stop loving you. Okay? We are a team. We promised eachother. And I know I fucked up, but I need you."
Ashley wasn't looking at Jack any more, but she could tell that he was crying. It made her stomach churn and her knees weak.
"Please, don't make up an excuse, Ashley. I know you're upset and I know you hate me, so you can go home and break all of your parents china and every piece of glass in the goddamn house but I will not let us end like this."
Ashley's mouth opened to say something, but was instantly hushed when Jack lunged forward and crashed his lips against hers, quietly moaning. He missed the feeling of her lips, and it made him deepen the kiss. Ashley sank into Jack, wrapping her arms around his neck to try to bring her closer to him. She missed the feeling of being engulfed in his arms and it made her knees buckle. Something at the back of Ashley's mind nagged her, saying that this was wrong or some bullshit. But there was always that curiosity of what it might feel like to be completely immersed in Jacks arms again, and now that she was feeling it again, she didn't want to let go. That was until her mind registered what was happening and she pulled away from his grasp. She missed Jack, more than anything, and she just wanted to be with him again. She didn't know what would happen to them in the future, but she did know that he was trying and she knew that he missed her, and most of all, she knew that she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. She couldn't just let her feelings towards him go, nor would she ever be able to. She didn't know why Jack loved her, because boys never really paid attention to her, but she wanted to stop running and she wanted to try to mend things. No matter how bad he had hurt her, she had a sense of feeling that he was truly sorry and he really wanted to fix things between them.
Jack was gazing at her with sadness and regret, a look of hurt in his eyes. "I-"
"No, Jack, it's okay. Just let me tell you this. We're not getting back together. At least not right away. I miss you, and if you really still love me, then I need you to prove to me that you really want this relationship to work." She said sternly, running her hand through her matted hair.
Jack nodded eagerly, a look of excitement on his face. Happiness was thriving through his body, a feeling of energy and adrenaline pumping inside him.
"Okay, I'll show you that I mean it, Ashley." He promised, lightly placing his hand on her face and pressing his lips against hers once more.