Georgia's POV
House parties: Free endless drinks everywhere. Sometimes they'll be on the floor to or when you first step out the car there's normally beer bottles strewn about on the lawn.
There is really loud thumping music, usually the popular stuff of the time mixed with some old classics.
Mostly everyone is drunk/tipsy, with a few people in clusters sitting around outside either dancing somewhere, drinking or just talking.
The occasional drunk person may be stumbling around. Talk about how the place looks as well. Occasionally having that many drunken people can destroy a house or building.
I was tempted to steer clear of all parties. They never ended well for anyone, especially for me. The last I attended ended in yet another hurdle in the friendship of Pat and myself.
He was with Lily back then. I knew things had changed dramatically, but in the end, so many things had stayed the same.
For instance, he was still not single. He was going to be accompanied to the party by someone other than myself. That in itself was enough to put me off of going.
The only reason I ever agreed is because of Marcus. All he did was worry about me and my current social life. It was pretty non-existent at the moment after finding myself in the dumps for the past weeks.
In an attempt to get me out of my work, eat, sleep routine, Marcus guilted me into going. I knew it would make him happy which is all I wanted to do these days.
I got ready at my own house. Marcus and Josh were over, as well as Emma. We were all heading over as a group. If I had to turn up alone, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
Three out of the four of us were waiting in the living room, just about ready to head out the door. Then Emma came in, the last to be ready.
"Finally, let's go" Marcus declared, getting up off the couch.
"Sorry" Emma apologised as she walked over to where Josh was standing.
"You look beautiful" He told her as he kissed her gently. He looked at her lovingly, you couldn't wipe the smile off his face even if you tried.
She smiled back at him and they walked hand in hand out the front.
I stood for a second and composed myself. Seeing that had hit me a little bit harder than I thought it would.
I was so happy for them. I had watched them fall in love and it was so special. Seeing their development together overtime made me appreciate love even more.
But it also made me envious of what they had.
The thing I searched for. That eternal love that you heard about constantly.
I wanted it. I mean we all wanted it in any shape or form, it didn't matter. We all needed to feel that love at one point in our lives, and I don't think I had felt it yet.
That spine tingling, leg jittering, tummy turning kind of love. Something I thought I would have had by now. That's why it hurt so much.
Marcus noticed the pain on my face and stiffness in my posture as I stood there. So as he exited the house himself, he walked closely with me and rubbed my back supportively as we followed Josh and Emma out the door.
The four of us got in Marcus' car and began the agonising drive there. Full of nerves and anticipation none of which I enjoyed.
Upon arrival, I noticed the cars already stacking up in the driveway. There were plenty of people who had already gathered inside. It was way bigger than I thought it would be. Definitely bigger than Marcus described, but who could trust him anyway.
We all walked inside without knocking and quickly split off into pairs. Josh and Emma walked away with a few friends, while Marcus and I looked around and tried to adjust to the volume in the place.
I felt safe being with Marcus, until he was approached by teammates who dragged him away. There was hesitation from Marcus who double checked with me before going off. I let him go, knowing he would have more fun with his teammates then sitting around with me.
Now I was left on my own, to fend for myself. But it didn't feel too bad. I had already spotted people I was able to talk to, starting with some familiar faces in Jack, Zac and Bella who sat in the corner.
I approached them excitedly, realising I wasn't going to look like a complete loner.
The three of them greeted me, matching the excitement levels which warmed my heart. So I sat down next to them and we got to chatting. Jack and Zac mainly had their own conversation while Bella and I did some catching up of our own.
I settled in with Bella, Zac and Jack quite quickly which made the party a lot easier to bare. So much so that I hadn't even noticed Pat walk in.
Until this very moment, I had been completely distracted, which was a good thing.
I somehow managed to notice the back of his head from across the room, just as he was entering. I hadn't seen the girl amongst the crowd, but part of me just knew she was there.
As he was facing away from me, it was easier to look away and not fall into the trap of his eyes.
Bella continued to speak to me, but she picked up on my change in attitude. She was quick to offer a change of scenery to continue our conversation. Getting us as far away from him as possible.
Another person who just understood. Without trying, she had made me feel so at ease. I was so glad to have someone else who just got it. Someone who cared about me enough to do anything to get me through.
She was definitely a keeper.
............
After speaking with Bella for a while, Zac came and found us, using his ways to drag her out to dance. I let them go to enjoy the highs of the night, as they should. Young and in love. God I envy what they have.
I didn't want to sit with myself thinking about that for any longer. God knows I didn't need to feel sorry for myself anymore. I got up, intending on getting a refill from the table across the room.
The party had severely ramped up, with even more people arriving. Even hours in, people still showed up to enjoy the night.
The messy room already had empty bottles laid on the ground, waiting for someone to trip over them. I admit, I was a victim.
As I stepped over the god-awful mess, I noticed the music playing in the background. The tunes sounded like my own music.
All of a sudden, this party wasn't so bad after all. Well, at least with my friends singing to keep me entertained. The voices meshing together during the choruses was really a sound to behold.
I passed by so many people on my way there, it felt like it was an eternity before I got to the drinks table. I filled myself up, definitely in need of something to get me through.
As I held my drink in hand and made my way back to my quiet spot in the corner, I somehow managed to find a clear path through. I followed it past all the sweat filled bodies who never stopped dancing.
Reaching the end, I stopped putting my head down so I could see where I was heading. I was determined to reach the end and get back to the comfort of the couch without tripping over anymore bottles.
But then I stopped. And then everything around me stopped. When my eyes fell on the one thing I was afraid of when coming here, everything fell away.
It was just me standing there, facing them without them even noticing.
I stood there, as my eyes pooled with tears and my face flushed with rage.
Watching.
As she blissfully danced with him, I couldn't help but wonder how it must've felt to be looked at with those gleaming eyes.
My heart immediately sank to my gut, fuck she has no idea how lucky she is.
Our entire friendship, I was determined that he was my first love, I mean, I was so sure of it.
But in that moment, I wanted to rip my eyes from my sockets, because he'll never look at me like that and I'd rather go blind than to see someone else experience it.
I don't deserve him, do I?
The reality is so gut-wrenching. I am simply not his, and I might never be. He just doesn't love me the way I love him.
Then he kissed her. So slow and so careful. He kissed her and she kissed him back.
I couldn't seem to move a muscle, my eyes glued to them. On the outside, I was so still, so calm. But on the inside, I was dying.
And this time, there was no build up, I just burst into tears as it unfolded.
Why does every shitty thing in this world happen to me? I asked myself as I exited the room. I escaped down the halls of the newly renovated home, trying to find a safe space.
I found myself in a quiet bedroom, without disturbance from anyone around.
Pacing up and down the room, my heart bursting out of my chest, my breath loudly tamed in the back of my throat.
I had to get out of there, I didn't want to draw any attention to myself.
The more I pace, the worse it gets. I find myself breathing so heavy sobbing so hard that my vision becomes blurry. Losing energy throughout my entire body, I needed to sit down.
The bed was close by so I sat myself down on it as my legs continued to shake uncontrollably.
This was it. The moment I had been dreading.
The thing is, I knew it was coming. But that definitely didn't make it any easier for me. I could see this coming from a mile away and now I think I didn't prepare myself enough.
I knew seeing him be with her was the last thing I needed to give it all up. That dreaded last moment of having each other. The goodbye no one wanted to go through.
Up until this party everything was starting to be normal. I was starting to move on without him in my life. I thought I was happier, I wasn't.
I was distracting myself from all the pain that was building up, and now it's full. That little box in my heart that holds pain, is full. I can't take anymore, I can't do it anymore, it hurts.
I wanna let go, I have to let go.
If I had any chance of redirecting my life to the path it was supposed to be on, I had to let go of him. But I still had so many questions. So many things I didn't understand about what went wrong.
The most painful word I can think of is, why?
Why did he make me believe we ever had a chance together?
Why did he kiss me?
Why did he treat me like he actually loved me?
But more importantly, why did he fucking hurt me?
He knew I would have done anything for him, and he took it for granted. He broke me.
So why did he?
I wish I knew.
I continued to let the tears flow. Sitting on the edge of this bed, with no idea who it belonged to. I just needed this time alone. If I was any chance of returning to the fun happening outside, I had to calm down first.
Wishing to do that alone, I found a room far enough away from the commotion, but that didn't stop me from being found.
Marcus' smiling face greeted me as he entered the bedroom. His smile wasn't full of excitement though, it was forced. Trying to put on a smile so that I would too, just for the sake of it. He knew what was wrong, as usual.
"George what's going on?" He asked me as he sat beside me on the bed, sinking it down which caused me to lean into him.
"I can't do this Marcus. I'm done pretending I am okay with this" I explained to him, causing the tears to fall even harder.
"I'm so sorry George. What can I do?" He asked me as he held me that little bit tighter.
"You can stop telling me that he loves me too, because he clearly doesn't" I replied, my sarcastic humour shining through at the worst of times. But I did need to get that off my chest.
I think that last bit of hope I had came from the hints Marcus and Josh always handed me. They didn't do it intentionally, but they gave me false hope. Always mentioning the way he looked at me, talked about me, smiled when I was around.
They had gotten it wrong all along. Now I had to suffer the consequences.
"I really am sorry George, I thought he did" He told me apologetically, rubbing my back in support.
"Well it's not all your fault, I'm the one who believed it" I shrugged it off willingly. I was at that point where I knew there was nothing I could do about it anymore.
"I wish it turned out differently for you two" He told me, stopping and looking at me briefly before returning to our hug.
"Me too" I replied, followed by a heavy sigh as the tears dried.
Now I knew I wasn't supposed to go through this alone. Even when I wanted to be left alone, I was glad Marcus was there to come and find me. I really needed that support from him.
The anxiety and tears I carried with me, reflected the strong feelings I felt for him, and how they had become so negatively skewed.
And now, at this party, full of people who didn't know our story, I was in tears.
The party definitely wasn't what I wanted out of my night off, but it was definitely something. It really was never going to go well, as long as Pat and I were in the same room, something was bound to happen.
Unfortunately for me, this was only the beginning of a distressing night.
...........
A/N
Well, parties am I right? 😬 They never turn out well, in any story. Unfortunately for Georgia, this one is far from over quite yet 😅There is still a bit to play out, I know you will all love it. Any guesses as to what happens?
If not, don't stress, you won't have to wait too long to find out as the next chapter will be posted this Sunday! As you know I don't usually update on a Thursday, but here we are!
After quite a few days of motivation, I have written a lot! Therefore I am planning on updating twice a week, just for a short while.
I can't wait for you to see how this unfolds in the next few weeks!
Thanks everyone x