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Game Over
chapter forty seven
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SHE WAS THANKFUL FOR A LOT OF THINGS. She was thankful for Ian and the way he listened to all of her problems without a shred of judgment. She was thankful for Fiona and how she basically raised Phoebe alongside the other Gallaghers. She was thankful for Alan and the love he shows her every second of every day. And she was thankful for Lip. She was thankful for the friendship they shared, for the nights where he'd hold her hand when she got anxious, for the days he made her laugh even though she really just wanted to shrivel up and die. She was thankful for the love she had for him and the way it made her feel, even if she didn't realize it was love until it was too late. She was thankful for him being Lip, for him being her best friend regardless of the shit they went through and were currently going through.
Maybe that's why she found herself standing under the el tracks, a jacket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. She had her headphones in, listening to a random playlist on the 8tacks app called "wedding songs". She still had to pick the perfect song for her first dance. She stared up at the gray sky, boots scraping against the gravel beneath her feet. "Why are we meeting here again?" She turned her head to the side to find Lip standing there. He smiled over at her, hands shoved deep into his pockets. "I don't know. I didn't want to stay at home alone," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Would you rather go home?" She was challenging him, he knew this. He shook his head in response, stalking closer to her silently. "What are you listening to?"
He took one of the buds from her ear and put it in his own. They stood in front of one another, close enough that they were breathing the same air. She watched the way his brows pinched together, his finger still pressed to the headphone in his ear. "This is so slow," he mumbled softly, eyes locked on the ground between their feet. "I'm picking the song for the first dance," she explained. "I have an idea for one, but I'm not sure if it'll work." He hummed, finally understanding her reasoning behind the playlist. The song they were currently listening to was in Spanish, so he was oblivious to the meaning behind it. "What song?" he asked, finally meeting her eyes.
Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. A slight blush rose on her cold skin. "It's, uh, it's a Cigarettes After Sex song." His brows furrowed slightly. "Do you not know Cigarettes After Sex?" she asked, eyes wide. He shook his head. "I've had a few cigarettes after sex," he replied teasingly. When she didn't react to his joke, he cleared his throat awkwardly. "I can't believe you. How long have we been friends?" Her question triggered a smile at the corners of his lips. Her head ducked down as she typed away at her phone. He looked down enough to see her searching for the band on the YouTube app. Curiously, he tilted his head just right until he could see her screen just as well, regardless of it being upside down for him.
"This is the song..." She clicked a lyric video. He tried to read the title, but she put it in landscape mode before he could catch it. Suddenly, the music began to play in his ears. He noticed the way her head swayed to it. Her eyes were closed, bottom lip between her teeth. Lip glanced up, blue eyes admiring her in silence. It would only take a second for him to touch her skin, for him to brush his fingers through her hair. He wanted so desperately to do so, to meet her lips with a whispered confession. Instead he refrained, letting his shaking hand come to find her waist. The other took the wrist of her hand holding her phone. Surprise etched across her features as her eyes flew open, meeting his only inches away from her.
A startled laugh left her parted lips. "Wh-what are you doing?" she asked him as he moved closer, invading her personal space. A soft smirk rested on his mouth, his eyes captured by hers in an intense stare. "Just relax," he mumbled. Slowly, he began to sway to the music. She struggled to match his rhythm, still completely in shock by his gentle actions. It wasn't until he began the steps to the dance that she realized he was ballroom dancing. "When did you learn this?" she asked incredulously, matching his steps stiffly. His smirk broadened proudly. "I'd do anything for a girl," he replied cockily. "I learned this back when I went to church with Rachel Carrigan. They had a Christmas dance, so I had to learn how to dance. Not going to lie, though, I did have a problem with stepping on her toes." He winked over at his best friend, his tone teasing.
"You better not step on my toes," she warned him. "I'm wearing my combat boots and I won't hesitate to kick you." She inhaled sharply as he moved to twirl her under their conjoined arms, the headphones they wore tangling and falling from their ears."Whoops," was all he said before bringing her back to his chest. They both exhaled upon impact, matching smiles evident on their features. "You're not bad," she whispered. The compliment only seemed to boost his already giant ego. He ducked his head, his forehead meeting her shoulder. His warmth, his scent, it all invaded her senses. She shuddered at the close proximity, the action rolling down her spine. She could feel his nose brush the junction where her neck met her shoulder. He was breathing through it, his warmth breath tickling her skin. "Wait.." He didn't lift his head, instead he moved to rest his chin on her shoulder.
She moved the headphones back into their ears, the music once again taking over the world around them. She sighed heavily, letting it create a blanket of safety around her. They swayed to the music, Lip's face still hidden. His eyes took in the atmosphere around them. His nose took in the sweet scent of her body wash and shampoo. He could feel her pulse through her wrist, racing against his touch. As the silence took over, he started to finally pay attention to the lyrics.
When we dance in the living room to that silly 90's R&B song. When we have a drink or three, always ends in a hazy shower scene.
Lip swallowed. He felt her shuffle closer, their bodies meeting together like a puzzle piece sliding into its designated spot. His hand on her hip moves to cradle her back, his other hand moving her arm around his neck as he pulls away from her just enough to meet her eyes. She moves her other arm around his neck, a content smile in her eyes.
Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby. As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine. Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby. Nothing's gonna take you from my side.
His forehead rested against hers, eyes falling closed. He could smell the cream soda on her breath. He could smell the perfume she wore. His mind grew fuzzy from the mixture and the warmth of her breath on his face, the warmth of her palms on his neck. He nuzzled his nose into hers. Her swaying faltered in surprise at his action. His deft fingers pulled at the hem of her jacket.
And we laugh into the microphone and sing with our sunglasses on, to our favorite song. And we're laughing into the microphone and singing with our sunglasses on, to our favorite song.
His heart was in his throat. Her chest bumped his as he pulled her impossibly closer. Their noses bumped, lips inches apart. "Lip," she whispered, her voice shaking. His eyes had yet to open. He felt her sigh fall on his lips and before he could stop himself, he closed the distance between them. His mouth was on hers in a searing kiss, molded to hers like clay. Her fingers carded through his curls, gripping just at the base. A pleased noise escaped her throat and echoed in his ears. She was kissing back, feverishly, enthralled by him.
Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby. Nothing's gonna take you from my side.
Or so he thought. For when he opened his eyes, she was looking back at him in confusion. "Where'd you go?" she asked, palm pressed to his neck. He blinked, brows pinching. "I've been talking to you, but you've just been swaying with your eyes closed." It was a dream, he concluded. His tongue darted over his bottom lip. "Sorry. I guess I got caught up in the song," he responded with a mild laugh. Her brows rose in surprise. "You like it?" He nodded without hesitation. "It's not too short, right?" He ran his hand along her spine with a cheeky grin. "Nah," he answered. "It's perfect." She smiled brightly up at him, sending an electric current through his chest. "Yeah?" she quipped with a small giggle. He couldn't help but laugh, too.
"Jesus, I said yeah," he replied, completely charmed by the girl in front of him. "Okay," she laughed. She bounced on her toes, suddenly energized by this decision. "Thanks, Lip." He hummed, curious as to why she was thanking him in the first place. He hadn't done anything special. "You're the best. You should know that." He scrunched up his nose at her sentiment, eliciting a gasp from the girl. "Don't make that face, you asshole! I'm being serious!" She squished his cheeks between her hands, letting out a breathy laugh. "Now, smile." He wanted to smile so badly. Seeing her so close, acting just as she had before all of this had ever happened, before they had started that stupid bet. "No," he replied, trying his best to frown against her hands. Instead of accepting defeat, she moved her fingers to the corner of his lips and forced them upward with a triumphant exclamation.
The way her eyes sparkled, and the way she smiled at him with every ounce of happiness in her body, he couldn't help but smile. His arms tightened around her waist before he lifted her off her feet. A sharp squeal left her lips, her hands moving to grab onto his shoulders. "What the fuck are you doing?!" she exclaimed, laughter following her voice and echoing into the distance. "Nothing really. What are you doing?" He started to spin. The breeze caught her hair. He looked up at her with pure adoration, his heart thrumming happily in his chest. "Put me down!" she demanded. He shook his head. "Nah. I'm getting pretty hungry, though? Want to grab a bite to eat?" She scoffed. "Seriously? We can go eat if you just put me down!"
"Great! I'm thinking of burgers." He started to walk, keeping her in the air. She steadied herself on his shoulders, a loud groan leaving her mouth. "Fine," she grumbled defeatedly. "But I want chicken." He smiled triumphantly. "Chicken it is, then."
—
"A video?" Now standing in the hallway of the Ritz, Phoebe leaned against the wall as Lip dug through his wallet for his key. "Yeah, you know, so he knows that I didn't just abandon him or some shit." She pursed her lips in thought. She hadn't expected Lip to put so much thought into something like this. "Well," she began as he inserted his key card into the handle, "I think that's a great idea." He grinned at her response. "Thought you would. You've always been a sucker for something wholesome." She didn't hesitate to whack his arm in defense, though she knew she couldn't verbally argue. She did love a wholesome moment. As the door pushed open, the sound of the hotel TV hit their ears. Phoebe flinched at the volume and covered her ears as Lip walked in, scoffing at Steve sitting there. "Jesu, what are you? An old man?" Lip shouted over the commercial, leading Phoebe into the room.
Steve didn't look up. Instead, he took the television remote and muted it. Replacing the television was the shared grunts of Estefania and her lover. Phoebe's head snapped toward the sound, surprised to see the woman with another man. She covered her blushing cheeks with her hands, hiding behind Lip. "Holy shit. They're still fucking," Lip said, amazed. Steve finally glanced up to spot the Korean girl, his eyes growing wide. "Phoebe!" he exclaimed, a tight lipped smile forming on his face. "Are you sure they're not fighting?" the brunette asked after hearing the sharp sound of a hand against skin. Steve snorted. "Yeah, I can't really tell the difference," he admitted. Lip glanced toward Phoebe with a smirk, one that immediately warranted a slap to his shoulder.
Already tired with the sound, Steve unmuted the television and the sound returned. Phoebe covered her ears quickly. Lip noticed her discomfort and pushed her toward the other bedroom. Steve watched as he followed after her, hand holding the back of her jacket. "Keep your hands to yourself!" he shouted after them. "I can't listen to it from both sides!" Phoebe threw up her middle finger toward the man before Lip pushed her into the room. "Ignore him," he laughed, finally shutting the door behind them. She shook her head in distaste. "Who was that guy with Este?" she asked as Lip climbed onto the bed.
"Este?" he repeated, brows raised in surprise. Phoebe rolled her eyes at his reaction. "Shut up. Who is he?" She sat onto the end of the bed and bent over to unlace her boots. Lip bit down on his bottom lip for a moment before chuckling to himself. "Do you want me to shut up or tell you?" She got one shoe off and was tempted to throw it at him. The moment she raised it in the air, Lip was quick to raise his hands in defense. "I'm kidding," he hurriedly said. "That's Marco. Apparently he's the love of her life." Phoebe dropped the shoe in surprise. "So, she and Stever aren't– Wait, aren't they married?" Lip nodded his head. "So, he's okay with her cheating on him?" Lip nodded again, almost like the whole situation wasn't fucked up to begin with.
"He's trying to get back together with Fiona, anyway," Lip added, crossing his legs in front of him. Finally her other shoe was off and she climbed into the bed right next to Lip. "About Fiona..." She plopped down onto her stomach, sighing against the soft mattress. It was so much nicer than the one at Alan's place. "No," he sighed. She glanced over at him with a slight pout. "At least come to Thanksgiving. It won't be the same without you." He leaned back against the wall, the cool surface shocking to his system. He let his eyes wander over to meet hers. Her face was smushed against a pillow, hair stuck to her cheeks. "Debbie wants you to go," she added. He felt his stomach churn.
Hesitantly, she reached over to place her hand against his arm. Her fingers gently prodded the area until she felt him relax under her touch. Her thumb ran along the surface softly. "Monica's there," he whispered. "She's already fucked up everything." Phoebe sighed through her nose. "This isn't about Monica, though. This is about you and your siblings." He frowned. His siblings. Why did everything have to be about them? Why couldn't something be about him for once? "I'll think about it," he replied sharply, moving his arm away from her touch. "Will you record me? For the video?" He shuffled on the bed to take out his video camera. She still wondered just how he had gotten a video camera in the first place. "Yeah," she replied, pushing herself back onto her knees. He tossed the camera toward her on the bed before fixing his clothes. She shuffled the device between her hands, watching as he scrambled to make himself look presentable.
He sat back on the bed, sitting across from her with crossed legs. She held up the camera with a small smile. Looking at him through the device made her heart flutter. "Wait," she spoke up, setting the camera to the side. He looked confused as she leaned forward, fingers tangling through his hair. He leaned into her featherlight touch. "Handsome," she whispered, brushing the curls back. He grinned, cheeks growing warm. "Okay, now you're ready." She sat back and lifted the camera, keeping him perfectly centered in the frame. He released a heavy sigh, a nervous sigh. "Hey, little guy," he began, smiling warmly at the camera.
"Uh, I think I'm gonna end this now 'cause you're coming into the world on Friday. I hope I get to hang out with you for a few minutes before we hand you over to your new parents. I think they're really going to take very good care of you." He licked his lips, his expression faltering. Phoebe's heart lurched. "You know, I wish it could have been us. But, um, well things are pretty messed up around here, so... Um, you ever want to get in touch with me, though, that– that would be really cool. You know, just, uh, just look for this ugly mug." He pointed to his face with a halfhearted chuckle. "You know, I'll be around." His eyes flickered over to Phoebe for a moment before he looked back into the lens of the camera.
"I'm not going anywhere. All right, take it easy, buddy." He reached forward and closed the camera on his own, startling Phoebe out of her daze. His eyes had grown red, glassy from unshed tears. He took the camera gingerly from her grasp and cradled it in his hands for a moment. "You did good," she spoke softly, her heart thrumming heavily in her chest. "He'll know that you care. That you love him." Lip wiped under his eyes with a sigh, his head bouncing in a nod. "Yeah," he coughed. "I hope so." Phoebe shuffled closer to him, taking up the space beside him, and nudged her head against his shoulder. She held his arm tight, relaxing into his side. His head rested against hers, eyes burning with brimming tears. "One day," she whispered. "One day you'll start a family with someone you love. You're going to have your happily ever after, too, okay?"
His throat felt tight. Not trusting his voice, he responded with a nod. She shifted closer to his side, allowing him to wrap the arm she was holding around her waist. Lip was thankful for a lot of things. The most important thing he was thankful for was Phoebe Lim.
from rumi . . .
guys we have four chapters left
minus the epilogue. 😭
i am so in shock with everything that's
happened surrounding this book. i
honestly never expected so many people
to read, comment, and vote. i am so, so
grateful to every single one of you. without
you, i probably would have forgotten this
book. thank you.
how did you guys like the chapter?
what's your favorite part?
i loved the slow dancing, but my favorite
is lip talking to "his son". i mean, lip would
be the best dad 😭 i love him so much.
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