Every night
“Anong flavor ‘yung sayo?”
I can immediately feel the glares I’m receiving the moment we stepped inside the canteen within their building. Hindi ko namalayang nakaabot na pala kami rito. Hindi ko naman first time sa building nila, but I rarely come here. Hindi ako sanay at masyadong intimidating na ang mga estudyante dito para sa akin. Pwede naman kaming bumili sa kalapit na canteen kanina, but he insisted. Sabi niya mas madami daw flavors ang nandito.
“Ashen, meron naman ng mga ‘yan sa nadaanan natin kanina, ah?” I questioned again. Ilang canteen na ang nadaanan namin and I can tell, these flavors were there too.
“Mas masarap ‘yung nandito.” Pagrarason niya at ngumiti. Nagsimula na siyang pumila. I remained standing beside him and tried to fix my gaze on the front. Ayoko nang ilibot pa ang tingin ko sa mga estudyanteng naririto ngayon. I can sense their supremacy, lalo na’t ‘yung College na ‘to ‘yung pinagmamalaki ng school. I mean all students are excellent. But them, they are like elites. Sila kasi ‘yung mga ginagawang pambato sa international levels na mga competition.
Kagaya nalang ng katabi kong ito.
I slightly trembled as I felt the silence of the place. Unlike any other canteens, masyadong tahimik ‘yung mga nandito. Goodness, paano ako napunta dito?
“Mas mahal ‘yang mga ‘yan…” turo ko sa selection ng mga ice creams. “Isang araw ko ng baon ‘yung mga presyo.”
Mahina siyang natawa sa tabi ko. “I will pay for us.”
Kinunotan ko siya ng noo. “Akala ko ba ‘I owe you one’?” I folded my arms. Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay. “Tapos ikaw ‘yung manlilibre?”
“Do you really want me to make you repay me with something? Hindi ako madaling makontento, Solace. I might ask more of you.”
“Huh?!” Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. “A-Am I supposed to be terrified with that?” hamon ko pabalik sa kanya.
“Well, are you?”
“H-Hindi ah…” I immediately denied. He just chuckled lightly.
“Then, why are you stuttering?”
Tinitigan ko siya ng mariin. Hindi ko na siya sinagot at tinuro nalang sa selection ang flavor na gusto ko. “Strawberry.”
He nodded. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngisi niya sa mukha. “That’s what I want too. Gusto mo share nalang tayo sa isa? I will pick the largest.”
Napangiwi ako sa alok niya. I eyed the price of the largest one. My eyes almost watered. “Hindi mo man ang sinisilip ang presyo. It’s almost 300, Aphelion.” Matigas na giit ko.
Nagkabit-balikat lang siya. “Ako naman ang magbabayad… This is my own money. Pinag-ipunan ko 'to.” he murmured calmly. Naglakad na siya sa harapan ng cashier nang nasa unahan na siya ng pila. I saw how the cashier eyed me from head to toe as if she doesn’t see someone like me every day before turning her attention to Ashen.
Napayakap nalang ako sa sarili. Ang awkward sa totoo lang. I feel like an outsider here, kahit na nasa iisang school lang rin naman kaming lahat. Of course, these circumstances couldn’t be avoided. May mga estudyante talagang nagse-serve as jewel at pride ng isang paaralan. Although they say all students are equal, that statement couldn’t be portrayed well if some are already have the privilege to be above others.
“Aria,”
“Hmm?”
Umangat ang tingin ko kay Ashen. He showed me the ice cream he bought. Napangiti ako at tumango lang sa kanya. “Thanks.”
“Doon tayo sa bakanteng table.” Alok niya matapos makuha ang sukli niya sa cashier. He pointed a table for two. Malapit lang iyon sa pintuan at medyo malayo sa iba. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi. Gustuhin ko mang umupo roon, masyado pa ring nakakailang kung dito kami. Some students here… might assume differently.
“Pwede bang sa iba nalang? I know a place. And after we eat, bumalik na tayo sa kanya-kanyang mga klase. Are you sure you’re not busy for this? Akala ko ba nagmamadali ka kanina--"
“Wala na. Let’s go?” he cut me off. Tinulikuran niya ako at nauna ng maglakad kahit na nagtatanong pa ako. I just sighed and followed him. Nang makalapit ay agad ko siyang tinapik sa balikat.
“Huy, ‘yung seryoso. Busy ka ba? May dapat ka bang ginagawa ngayon?” Nagsimula na akong mag-aalala. I’m too drawn with this that I forgot a student like him has more responsibilities than me.
He clicked his tongue then I eyed me while opening the door for us. “I already told you... vacant namin. At kung mero man akong ginagawa, malapit na iyong matapos. I can finish it within a night.” Sagot niya. “Minsan lang akong mag-aya… ng ganito. Minsan lang rin gumala. Don’t ruin the mood for me, Aria.” He murmured.
“I just don’t want us to be in trouble just like last time.” Sambit ko. “At anong minsan lang gumala? Kahit gabi nga eh nasa McDonalds ka.” I joked. Bahagya pa akong natawa nang maalala ang mukha niya ng makita ako noon. It felt funny now.
Gumihit rin muli ang ngiti sa bibig niya. Dumiretso ang mga mata niya sa dinadaanan namin. This time, he allowed me to walk first. He clutched the string of his guitar bag on his shoulder before speaking. “Hindi naman ako nandun para gumala.”
Kumunot ang noo niya. “Ikaw? Ba’t ka nandun sa mga oras na ‘yun? It was very late that time, Aria.”
I opened the door of our facility. Dumiresto muna ako sa mga desk para ibaba ang mga dala ko. Sinenyasan ko rin siyang ilagay muna ang mga dala niya roon bago binalikan ang pinto. I locked it again before taking the stairs. Ramdam ko naman ang pagsunod niya sakin. Hindi ako tumigil sa pag-akyat hanggang sa makaabot kami sa rooftop.
“Siguro bibili ako ng pagkain?” pabalik kong tanong bago binuksang ang pinto ng rooftop. I immediately opened my arms, in delight with the wind. I almost forgot how it feels like to be here.
Hindi naman kataasan ‘yung rooftop. Sakto lang. You can see the gate and all, but it’s hard to see far classrooms and building. Kahit papaano’y may ilang pa ring mga kahoy na nakapalibot rito at nakaharang sa view.
“Hindi tayo pwedeng magtagal rito.” I told him. Umupo siya sa malapit na balkonahe at binuksan na ang ice cream na bitbit niya. I noticed he brought his guitar with him too.
Tumikhim ako bago mahinang lumapit rin sa kanya. I watched how his neat, well-brushed hair got ruined because of the wind. Few strands started to fell on his face. Doon ko nalang napansin ang haba nun nang nagsimula nang maagas ang mga iyon. Bahagya ring napakurap-kurap pa ang mga mata niya, as if he’s still adjusting his sight to the view. Bakas rin ang pagtahimik niya at paninibago sa mukha kanya. He started roaming his eyes around as if it’s his first time to be in this kind of place.
Mukha nga. Ngayon lang ba siya nakatungtong sa rooftop?
“Ayos ka lang ba?” tanong ko sa kanya nang makalapit. Umupo na rin ako sa balkonahe at inabot ang isang kutsara dala ng pack ng ice cream. I placed my bottled water between us while staring at him. Hindi pa rin siya sumasagot at tila may tinatansya pa sa kanyang mga mata.
“We’re on the west side of the school?” he asked like he’s affirming something.
Tumango ako bilang sagot. “West.”
“I didn’t know this was here.”
“This year lang ito binuksan… pero mukhang wala rin namang silbi. You can’t see anything clear from up here.”
Tumango siya sa tabi ko. “It’s not high enough.” He agreed.
Tumango ako pabalik bago sumubo ng ice cream. My teeth immediately gritted the moment it touched my tongue. Saglit akong napapikit at hindi muna ngumuya. I heard Ashen’s laughter beside me. Sinilip ko siya at kampante lang siyang sumusubo ng sa kanya. He only shut his eyes for a few seconds then returned his gaze to me.
“Hmm, sarap…” he mouthed while his mouth was still full.
Napahalakhak ako ng tawa sa pagkakasalita niya. “Anong sabi mo?” tawa ko pa. He struggled beside me to swallow because he’s forcing himself not to laugh as well. Napailing-iling nalang siya at tinakpan ang sariling bibig. He eyed me warningly.
Mas lalo lang akong natawa sa kanya. Ang pula na ng mukha niya. Para siyang may ibang pinipigilan.
He finally managed to swallow his first spoonful of ice cream. Binigyan niya ako ng inis na tingin at napailing-iling nalang. He took out his handkerchief from his pocket then wipe his reddish lips. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi bago binalik ang mga mata sa ice cream.
“So…” I cleared my throat. “Magkakilala pala ang mga magulang natin.”
He quietly nodded. “But, they are not in good terms.” Naramdaman ko ang pagtingin niya sakin. “By the way… About that night…”
Kabado akong ngumuya nang bumuntong-hininga siya. I faced him properly. I never thought he would come up to this. Noong nakita niya kasi ako noong gabing ‘yun, mabilis nalang siyang tumakbo papalayo. Hindi ko na inisip pang kaausapin niya ako ng ganito pagkatapos nun. And yet, here we are.
“I hope that remains between the two of us. No one knows about that yet.” Tukoy niya habang seryosong nakatitig sakin. Mabilis ko namang naintidihan ang sinabi niya.
“Wala akong pagsasabihan…” I tried to hide my smile. “Pero payo ko lang, mas maganda kapag sa umaga ka kumakanta, para mas madami ang makakapanood. Hindi ‘yung sa gitna na ng kabilugan ng buwan.”
He chuckled. “Mas madali akong makilala kapag sumisikat ang araw. I told you, no one knows yet. And I don’t want anybody to know as much as possible. Besides, I only do it out of leisure…” Umiwas siya ng tingin nang masambit iyon.
“Talaga ba?” I doubt that. I saw the money. I saw how the people gathered around him and gave him coins. At wala siyang dapat ikahiya roon.
“Ashen, hindi kita nakilala noong una. Before I even recognize you, I was actually one of the audience. Nakisayaw pa nga ako…” I smiled when I remembered the old woman who grabbed my hand and made me join the crowd.
“Really?” his brows furrowed. There was this gleam in his eyes now.
I nodded. “Mabuti naman at hindi mo nakita.”
Ngumiti lang siya. Wala na sa amin ang nagsalita pagkatapos nun. Halos makalahati ko na ang ice cream habang siya ay nakailang subo pa lang. I saw him glancing at me from time to time.
“You’re not going ask me why I’m there?” bigla niyang tanong. Natigilan sandali bago umiling.
“The reason seemed too private.” Tanging sagot ko nalang sa kanya.
“It is.”
“Then, you shouldn’t tell me. Irerespeto ko naman iyon. We didn’t mean to see each other that night anyway…” I sorted out.
“But aren’t you curious to know? I got caught off guard, and I feel like I still owe you an explanation. Hindi ko alam kung ano maaari mong isipin pagkatapos nun. I don’t want you to understand that in a false sense.”
Napadaing ako. Makapagsalita naman ‘to parang may debate. Tunog matalino.
Napangisi ako sa naisip pero pinilit kong itago iyon. “Ano ba sa akala mo ang iisipin ko? I didn’t think about anything else about that night except for how good you are in singing. I got caught off guard too…”
I stilled when I realized what I just said. P-Pero totoo naman. Masyado akong nabigla noong gabing iyon. I did thought about what might be the reason behind it. But I didn’t think about it too much the way I remembered his voice.
“I got curious, yes. But I was more curious on why didn’t I see that before. I mean, bakit hindi ko alam na kumakanta ka pala…” I shrugged. “Hindi pa kasi kita nakikita na ginagawa iyon dito sa school.”
"Wala rin naman akong plano." He muttered then brushed his hair. Malumay ang kanyang mga matang sinulubong ang tingin ko. "You're the only one who knows about that here."
"But you brought your guitar here now... May nakakapansin na rin siguro."
He shook his head. "Sa kapatid ko ito. He allows me to bring it home after he's done."
"But you're using it at night? Gabi-gabi mo bang ginagawa iyon?"
He nodded again. Sa pagkakataong iyon ay naglakas-loob na akong nagtanong sa kanya. "For... what?"
"What your parents said was true. Nalulugi na kami, and I'm trying to earn money at night. Every time to moon rises, I'm completely a different person by then..." Saad niya. "Iniiwasan lang talaga ng pamilya ko na ilabas ang katotohanang iyon. It would be a great scandal for us."
Napaawang ang bibig ko. And he's okay telling me that?
"Oh..." Napatango ako ng mahina. "So ibig sabihin, madalas na kitang makikita roon? Same place and same time? Gabi-gabi kang nandun?" I didn't know why I hopefully looked at him, not minding his reason at all.
Lumapad pa lalo ang ngiti sa mukha niya. I noticed how his serious expression changes into a carefree one right after I asked those questions.
"I'll be there every night... and tonight. Should I start expecting you there... as one of those who watches me that actually knows me?"
***
-kimsyzygy