Askel sat next to Hayes and Jay during dinner. He was trying his best to eat the stew in front of him. For the sake of everyone to stop looking at him. He was curled up in his chair picking at it with no enthusiasm.
Everyone was chatting in excitement because Harry had come back from his trial with all the charges dropped. Harry kept trying to catch Askel's eyes but he was busy listening to Hayes talk about his recent run-in with a vampire near Scotland. Harry frowned and was saddened when he realized how miserable Askel was being here. And it was all his fault.
Suddenly there was a commotion outside the room and everyone turned. Opi's head popped in with a faint grin and he motioned for Jay to come to him. Jay smiled and flitted after his brother and Askel watched his movements with a small frown.
Harry was even more miserable when he saw Askel's eyes follow Jay out the door. The jealous beast roared inside his chest. Begging him to do something drastic to get Askel's attention. Askel suddenly turned and connected his eyes with Harry. Harry suddenly blushed and gave him a small smile. Askel's eyebrows rose and then Hayes called his name and he turned to him once more.
Harry sighed and his shoulders dropped with defeat. He wanted to get to know Askel why he stayed in the Order of the Phoenix headquarters. But over the past few days he's been here Askel avoided him and stayed in his room for the majority of the room till either Hayes or Opi dragged him down for meals.
Most of the orders did not trust Askel and he never attended meetings unless they needed his input on something. Sirius was trying his best to be "nicer" to Askel per Harry's request. He begrudgingly accepted after hearing Harry explain how much Askel saved him over the years.
So no comments, no side remarks, no physical altercations. And Harry hoped his godfather would keep that promise when he and the rest left for Hogwarts.
Suddenly a gloomy feeling exploded across Harry's chest.
This year he wouldn't have Askel around. Helping him, annoying him, or threatening to kill him 24/7. He dropped his head and wished life was simpler.
Everyone at the table jumped when the door banged open and Opi walked back, the grin still on his face. He looked exhausted. Like he was about to fall over.
Askel tensed when he saw Jay walk in, babbling his heart out. He was wrapped around two people taller than him. Askel recognized them as his two oldest brothers, Ky and Aj. They were smiling and nodding to every word Jay was saying.
Everyone got up to meet the new people, except Askel who stayed seated so he wouldn't start any drama.
"Everyone these are my older brothers Ky and Aj!" Opi introduced, "they have agreed to join the Order!"
Shouts and murmurs of excitement went around as everyone shook their hands. Askel could see why. The Lees were an extremely powerful family. And Aj, Ky, and Opi were all skilled wizards. So to have all three of them be a part of the Order was a big deal.
Askel couldn't help but chuckle as Jay showed them all the paintings around the kitchen. Trying to get his older brothers away from the crowd.
Suddenly two new people entered the room. Askel saw a very tall man and woman speaking lowly to each other. They smiled when they got closer to the groups and many of the Order members hugged them like they were old friends.
Askel gulped and turned to ask Hayes if he could go to his room.
Jay's parents did not want to meet.
But it was too late. Mrs. Lee had ignored everyone who greeted her and made a beeline for Askel. Everyone tensed and moved to stop her until she wrapped her arms around him.
Askel froze as the women's scent filled his nose. She smelled like her son...
So familiar.
"Oh my dear Askel," she mumbled as she tightened her grip, "I've missed you."
-
Askel awkwardly sat in the living room as Mrs. Lee fussed over his appearance. Scolding him every five minutes for how skinny he looked.
Jay was sitting on the couch across as he showed his older brothers all the paintings he made while he was here.
Opi was speaking lowly to his father about something.
"I mean Askel you look like a ghost honey!" She snapped then turned to glare at Opi with her hands on her hips, "Opi I thought I told you to watch over him!"
Opi gaped at his mother and started stuttering out excuses. Askel rolled his eyes while Mrs. Lee scoffed.
"Useless!" She snapped at Opi frowned
"I can't shove the food down his throat Mum!" He whined
"I will!" She snarled
"No honey you actually can't!" Mr. Lee said correcting his wife
Mrs. Lee glared harshly at his husband telling him in no words to 'shut up!' He cringed and backed away.
"Molly Weasley has already given me the rundown on what's been going and because of this we have decided to stay here in the Order of the Phoenix house for the time being," she announced
Everyone including Askel groaned.
Why did his life have to get worse all of a sudden? He was positive Jay's parents would hate him. But they were showing him an overwhelming amount of love that he had not received in years. It was unusual and strange.
Hayes thankfully came into the room and told the family that Sirius and Lupin needed to speak to them. Askel followed Hayes up to his room and collapsed on his bed. Hayes chuckled.
"I knew other people saw the good in you," he said with a smile
Askel flicked him off and Hayes left laughing.
-
'I love you Askel,'
'... but I can't be with someone who won't do what's right.'
'Listen Chul...'
'We were never going to work...'
'life isn't fair. You deserve to be with someone who will be with you to the end. I can't be that person...'
'I love you Askel...'
'ever since I saw you at that platform when I was 11 I knew I would always love you..."
'I love you too...'
'I just wish we had more time...'
'I love you Askel'
'NO CHUL!'
'I love you Askel'
'NO PLEASE CHUL!'
'I love you Askel'
'PLEASE CHUL!'
Askel looked down and saw Chul's body lying peacefully in a casket. Like he was asleep.
'I love you Askel,'
'... but I can't be with someone who won't do what's right.'
-
Askel woke up screaming bloody murder. His screams rang through the house as he gasped for air and clutched at his sheets. Suddenly his door was thrown open and he was engulfed by soft arms as he kept screaming.
"Shh Askel," Mrs. Lee said as she stroked his hair, "it's alright. It was just a nightmare."
Askel's screams finally died down and he clutched onto the mother-like figure desperately.
"It wasn't a dream," he whispered, "it was real..."
Askel saw that most of the house had crowded in his room. Mrs. Weasley had come running in with a hot towel and started wiping his forehead.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron stared in shock as they saw the once confident man gone. Replaced with a broken boy. A desperate one. Who longed for something. Something he didn't know.
"Off to bed all of you!" Mrs. Weasley huffed and shooed them away
Jay suddenly came followed by his brothers who stared at Askel with wide eyes.
"What was the dream about Askel?" Mr. Lee asked as he kneeled down
Askel gulped.
"I keep seeing it..." he whispered, "I keep seeing... I dream of him dying..."
The whole room tensed and Askel felt Mrs. Lee freeze the stroking of his hair.
"I reach out to him. And beg him not to leave me..." he kept going, "but he leaves... and all I can hear is him saying he loves me..."
It was silent.
"Because he did!" Opi suddenly stated firmly, "Chul loved you so much. So much that he gave his life for you."
Askel flinched.
"Which is why you must repay him by helping us!" Ky said
Askel pulled away from the two women caring for him and got up.
"I can't..." he said firmly
"Why?" Aj suddenly challenged, "because your master forbade it."
Askel turned to stare at the Lee family.
"I've done terrible things..." he said, "terrible things... there is no coming back from that."
"If you did..." Mrs. Lee said, "You would finally be the man that Chul loved."
Mrs. Lee smiled at Askel as tears streamed down her beautiful face.
"You loved my boy..." she whispered, "you made my baby so happy. And for that, I am eternally grateful... That in his last moments he knew he could be loved by you."
Askel looked at the floor.
"Be the man that I love Askel. That we love. That he loved."
-
Askel helped Mrs. Weasley and Mrs. Lee in the kitchen as they packed the lunches for the kids who were going off to Hogwarts today.
Hayes told Mrs. Lee about how Askel stayed in his room every single day. Except for meal times where he didn't eat.
Mrs. Lee promptly dragged him out of bed and forced him to help in the kitchen. Mr. Weasley sat at the table reading the newspaper.
"Dear, where are the kids?" Mrs. Weasley asked
Mr. Weasley shrugged and Askel saw Mrs. Weasley's mouth purse with discomfort. Mr. Weasley looked up and flinched at his wife's glare and got up quickly.
"I'll just go get them then!" He muttered
"You will won't you!" She snarled as she stalked after him leaving Mrs. Lee and Askel in the kitchen
Askel focused on cutting the meats for the sandwiches. He could tell Mrs. Lee wanted to say something and he was embarrassed after his meltdown last night and didn't want to talk about it.
Suddenly a tall man walked into the kitchen. Askel sneered.
"Severus!" Mrs. Lee said with enthusiasm as she took off her gloves and went to hug the man
Askel rolled his eyes and Mr. Lee walked in to greet the Professor as well.
"Severus!" He said shaking his hand they both nodded
"Seo-Jun... Ji-hoo..." Snape with a softness that Askel didn't know he had, "I am so sorry I didn't make it to the funeral."
Mrs. Lee sniffled and nodded.
"We got the dandelions you sent. Thank you very much Those were Chul's favorite... they haven't wilted yet." She commented
"They will stay alive as long as you take care of them!" Snape said and they both nodded
"FUCK!" Askel screeched
He had unintentionally cut himself.
"Oh, Askel dear!" Mrs. Lee ran over to him as he clutched his bleeding finger
Snape walked over to them.
"You stupid boy!" He snarled
Askel sneered.
"Back away from me Snivellus!" He snarled
Snape glared at him but pulled out his wand anyway and yanked Askel's hand to him. He muttered a spell and small stitches were starting to etch themselves across his finger.
"Oh, Askel you must be more careful!" Mrs. Lee scolded while her husband chuckled
Snape pulled away when he was finished and then straightened himself and pulled a small vial from his pocket.
"I've come to give this to you..." he stated and handed it to Askel, "it will lessen your nightmares and help you sleep better..."
"Lessen?" Askel said confused, "It won't keep them away altogether?"
Snape sighed and shook his head.
"That, in the end, will be up to you. It can control dreams but not stop them. In the end, exhaustion is the key. Exercise, eat, read. Overall just do enough during the day that you are too exhausted at night to let your imagination run wild!" He stated
Mrs. Lee nodded.
"I'll make sure it happens, Severus!" She said firmly
"It'll only last a good two weeks I'll drop off more!" Mrs. Lee smiled then hugged Askel from behind
Snape and Askel rolled their eyes and then Snape shook Mr. Lee's hand again and smiled at his wife.
"I'll see you again!" Then he promptly left
Askel examined the tiny vial of substance and saw Mrs. Lee bring out a shot glass. He poured it into the glass.
"Bottoms up!" Mr. Lee chuckled
Askel shot him a glare and chugged it.
"Blegh!" He spat and was shocked at how bad it tasted.
Mr. Lee laughed.
"Not all shots can be a good buddy!"
Mrs. Lee glared at him then they both started laughing as Askel looked down at his feet.
"Do you hate me?" He whispered
It went silent again.
"No honey...?" Mrs. Lee asked confused
"Not ever?" Askel asked
They both shook his head.
"Cause I would..." he said
Mrs. Lee titled his head to look at him.
"We know what happened that night with Jay... we know that... we know that it wasn't your fault," Mr. Lee said
"But it was!" Askel choked, "it was all my fault! I got wrapped up in what my family was doing! I was... I was a terrible person!"
"Do you regret joining him?" Mr. Lee asked
"Ji-hoo!" Mrs. Lee said in a shocked tone
Askel shook his head.
"I don't know if I am..." he mumbled
"Honey... can I ask you something?" Mrs. Lee said after a moment of silence between all of them
Askel nodded after hesitation.
"Have you cried... at all? Since my baby died?" She asked softly
Askel shook his head immediately.
"Why not?" Mr. Lee asked
"I don't feel like I deserve to cry... he died because of me..." he mumbled
Mrs. Lee wrapped her arms around Askel.
"You know sweetie. It's okay to cry..." she whispered, "it's okay to cry..."
Askel immediately started crying. Really hard. The tears just wouldn't stop coming. He fell to the floor and Mrs. Lee held him and followed. Mr. Lee sat by them and wrapped his arms around them as Askel wailed his heart out.
The door to the kitchen opened and the golden trio walked in talking.
"I hope she didn't pack me roast bee-"
All three stopped walking when they heard and saw Askel on the kitchen floor sobbing his heart out.
Askel frantically wiped his tears and without even facing the trio he ran out of the room too embarrassed to face anyone.
-