Clay and I get woken the next day to a house more rowdy than normal. I don't just hear the voices of my familiars. There is more. Not just Nick. Not just George. There is more people here. My heart begins to race as I shake Clay awake. He startles at my touch but instantly questions what's wrong.
"Who is here?" My eyes carry my worry. I know by the way his hand reaches up slowly to caress my cheek. I know by the way his eyes trace my worry. Reading every emotion running through me. Taking a few seconds to sit in his thoughts, to take in my thoughts, before responding.
"Nick said Karl was coming into town so I'm going to assume Karl's here." Clay stretches as he sits up to place a kiss to my lips. A short and sweet one to calm my nerves.
"Karl?" I question excitedly. "Karl's here?" I question again about jumping off the bed and running out of Clay's room. I here him laugh behind me but it takes him a few minutes to depart his room.
"Karl?" I yell down the hall as I run. I don't care about my disheveled appearance. He's seen me worse than this. He's seen me a teared up mess. He's seen me down and out. He's seen every bit of me so there is no reason to fix myself.
"Do I hear a buttercup calling my name?" I hear Karl's voice say and I practically jump into his arms. Don't let Clay see this. He might get jealous.
He's been working on his jealousy but fuck. If he saw me jump into Karl's arms I think he might have an actual heart attack. I'm thankful he's lagging behind. Poor sleepy boy and his needs to sleep naked. Then again, I've been in the half naked state with him before. Skin to skin is just better sometimes.
"Karl Jacobs." I smile as I finally step back and look at the boy, George, Clay and I had yet to meet in person. "No one told me you were coming. What the fuck Nick." I look towards him and see another boy I've seen many of times. I'm not close with him but I instantly clam up and fold in on myself.
"Babes, Alex, Alex... uh well, you can come up with your own name to call her." Nick chuckles as Clay enters the room.
"As long as it's not babe." Clay knocks Nick upside the head. He still hates that Nick calls me it to piss him off. But I kind of love it if I'm honest. I like to see Clay tinge with a bit of anger. His jaw tenses in just the slightest. Fuck, it's hot.
"Welcome Q. Welcome Karl." Clay pulls his friends into hugs and I drop myself onto the couch. The distance I create between myself and Alex is unsettling. I know Alex. I've spoken to Alex. He's literally part of the close group these boys have made. But I've not been to that level with him yet.
I pull at the hood on my sweatshirt and pull the strings tight. I'm doing everything to hide this side of me. I don't want Clay's friends to see me as unkept. I want to be put together and whole. I know Clay sees my uncomfortableness but can't do anything about it. He's caught up in conversation while I sink my way into the couch.
Thankfully, I steal Patches. Our girl power is overtaken by the overwhelming amount of testosterone roaming through this house. She curls up in my lap and I spend the next hour staring at her, petting her until my fears get pulled away by the sound of Clay addressing me.
"Hmm?" I look up from my pouty position and stop my pets with my furry friend.
"Come." Clay motions to himself, who's curled up on the other end of the couch. I follow his command like a puppy dog. I come out of my cocoon and round the living room and plop down in his lap.
Clay puts his lips to my ear and whispers, "Shower time?"
I look at his friends. Blush hits my cheeks in a bright shade of red and I'm beyond grateful when I see all of them in deep conversation with each other. This boy is literally trying to kill me today. Not telling me about his friends coming. Embarrassing me like this. He's going to have a price to pay.
"Come on baby girl." Clay pulls up on my hand and I get off his lap escaping to his room with him. No words are said. No one calls out our escape. But when they notice I'm sure his friends will have a lot to say. And if they don't, Nick will make a comment so they do.
"Are you in a mood?" I ask Clay as I dig for something to wear in his closet. Like always I'll just end up in his oversize clothing instead of something of my own. But it's fine because he makes me feel safe and secure.
"Maybe." Clay says sheepishly. His eyes have been watching me like a hawk since we ended his room. He can't seem to peel his eyes away. He's got shit on his mind and its a dirty, dirty place.
"Baby all your friends are here." I turn around with an arm full of clothes and he takes too strides to become flush with me. Eager much. "Nick can't even be around. You really think the rest of your friends will be able to?"
"You'll just have to learn to be quiet. You got that baby girl?" Clay reaches up and runs his thumb along my bottom lip. I feel my heart quicken at the simplest of touches. The way the words roll off his tongue have my breath hitching in my throat. This man has me wrapped around his fingers like a cat's cradle. I'm a fucking mess.
I nod my head unable to speak. "Good." Clay's fingers drop to my chin for a gentle touch. "Now get your ass into the bathroom." Clay slaps my ass with a little tap and I run off before he can say another word. I need a second to calm myself. I need the space. For once, I need the space.
Before I even get a chance to pull my clothes off, Clay's beating me to it. His fingers hook under the edge of his hoodie and he swiftly pulls it off over my head. My mouth drops at his quick pace and a smirks pulls at the corners of his mouth at my actions. This man is so proud of himself. Cocky fucker.
"Clay—" I start but his mouth latches to mine before I can say more. I giggle into the kiss. His hands latching to my bottoms and sliding them off with ease. He's in a hurry and I have no idea where this is stemming from.
"Your body." Clay says as he breaks the kiss to stare. His hands roam my bare skin. Running down the curves of my body. He's hungry for whatever I've been keeping from him. Which I didn't think I had been keeping anything from him. But fuck I guess I had.
"You've seen it before." I clasp my hands over my face feeling a bit judged. Not in a bad way, but he's never been this... infatuated.
Clay's hands grab mine and move them away. He holds them to comfort me in my shy ways as his lips latch to the skin on my neck. This is what I need. Distraction. Fuck, that feels fucking incredible.
I let a moan escape and almost immediately Clay shushes me. But it's so hard to not let noises slip. I don't care that his friends are just down the hall. I want him to know that I enjoy his lips against my bare skin. I mean I know that he already knows that. But fuck I want him to know it in the moment.
"You have to enjoy in silence baby girl. Okay?" Clay removes his lips from my skin and turns on the water for the shower. I watch him as he pulls his clothes off his body. I still feel too shy to touch. I may not be shy about noises. But I'm shy at the fact his friends are here and know exactly what we are doing. Or do they?
"Clay I can't be quiet." I groan as I walk over and touch his bare skin. My touch is soft, barely grazing against his skin. It's a touch so light it might tickle or cause shivers. "You make me noisy."
Clay chuckles at my choice of words. He knows it's the truth though. Fuck, everyone knows it's the truth. Nick has told us too many times to count to shut the fuck up and give him his quiet. Well Nick, maybe you need to get laid and get a girl to compete because this is our space as much as it is yours.
"If you aren't quiet, one of your nights will be taken away." Clay tests me as he steps into the shower pulling me with him. The water runs down our skin in fast streams. The scolding water takes away the pain of his words. He wouldn't do that though. He would be the one to miss me too much.
"Bet." I raise my brow as Clay pushes me up against the wall. The cool air hits my skin and goosebumps raise to the surface. My body craves the warmth of the water again. The warmth of him. The warmth of us.
"Are you challenging me?" Clay runs his hand between my thighs, rubbing his fingers along the part of me that craves him. The action causes me to bite my lip. I hold back fearing that he will take away a night. I can't lose a night with him.
I look down between us as Clay pulls us back into the water. I watch as the water just falls effortlessly down his skin. I reach out and run my hands down his chest. He doesn't move. He just lets me explore. For some reason it feels like the first time we did it all over again. I remember the fear like it was yesterday.
I feared what would happen between us if we took things to the next level because at that point all we would have ever been is best friends. But that fucking kid was mesmerizing. Once he kissed there was no turning back. We were young with very sexual minds. Once we started we couldn't stop. We were captivating to each other. I guess that comes with a life long friendship.
He made it feel easy. He took the fear away. I had always been fearful with others. But the first time with Clay every bit of fear I've ever had about sex slipped away. Every insecurity slipped from my thoughts. It felt comfortable. It felt right. It felt like it should have always felt. It felt like making love and not just... pleasure.
Clay reaches his hand up to mine and directs my movements. It's like he's inside my head and knows exactly what I'm thinking. Clay stops my hand at the base of his cock for just a moment before wrapping both my hand and his around his length. I gasp at the feeling. Like it's the first all over again.
Clap pumps our hands up and down his length and I have butterflies filling my stomach. It feels like I have an audience even though its just the two of us. This isn't a new situation in any way. We've had shower sex before. We have obviously fucked before. But something about this feels brand new. Maybe because we are brand new people.
Clay lets out a moan at the sensation and I cover his mouth with my free hand. His mouth pulls into a smile under my hand before I remove it. "You had one slip. I get one too."
It doesn't take long for the jitters to escape my mind. All it takes is for Clay to latch his lips to my skin again. The sensation always sends me off to another world enough for a distraction. It's freeing. God, it makes me feel alive.
We don't keep to our goal of being quiet. I don't hold back and neither does he. It doesn't take long for either of us to be pushed over the edge. We didn't need long sex too feel satisfied. Especially, when others were around. There was no reason to drag it out. We both clearly had other things to attend to.
After taking a second to come down from our highs, Clay washes me down and I return the favor back to him. We exit his room with wet hair. And all eyes are on us as we reenter the living room. Yeah, they definitely heard. Fuck.
"Now you all know what I've been dealing with since I moved into this place." Nick speaks first and my cheeks instantly heat. Clay shrugs his shoulders as he pulls me into him as we sit on the couch.
I practically bury my head into his body to hide from the embarrassment. Clay isn't shameful of much. He's ego filled and boastful. He doesn't hide much, especially from his friends. Why would he? He's comfortable with who he is. Well... most of the time. The only time he feels inferior is when it comes to anything that deals with me. He always feels like I'm standing on the edge ready to leave. But that couldn't be further from the truth.
"We just showered I have no idea what you're on about." Clay says straight. He's such a good fucking liar. But we already knew that.
"Yeah, just showered I'm sure." Nick rolls his eyes.
"New topic please." I say muffled into Clay. I hope it's loud enough for the guys to hear. I don't think I have it in me to say it any louder. I'm too embarrassed. Someone please get me a girlfriend. Please for fucks sake.
"Does she always act this guilty?" Alex asks and I peak out a little from Clay's chest.
"Every time." Nick responds and as much as I want to give him the finger for his answer I hold back. He is seriously like the annoying brother I never had but always wanted. The one to push my buttons but always there to protect.
"At least I'm getting my dick played with." Clay chuckles. "And I don't have to do it myself."
"You have never done it yourself. You've always got someone." Karl speaks and instantly my heart drops into the deep pits of my stomach. I fucking hate the sound of that.
"Dude." I hear Nick mumble under his breath before slapping at Karl's arm. So he did know. We have a bunch of liars on here. I guess we are all born to lie because maybe I'm the biggest liar of all. Am I the biggest liar of all? He doesn't know the biggest secret of all.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" I sit up and look at Clay for just a second before taking a look around the room. "Or am I just the joke here?" I fit my quivering lip between my teeth.
"Butts I didn't mean it like that. I swear. I just mean him and George." Karl tries to fill in the cracks he's just placed into my forever broken armor. But the damage has already been done. The cracks can't just be filled anymore. There are too many that no fix will heal them.
"Nick you want to tell Clay your biggest secret? Since we're airing out his. Since we all like to keep secrets here. Clay's fucking girls when I'm away. Nick who did you fuck when you first got here?" I narrow my eyes at him.
"Woah how am I being brought into this?" Nick sits up from his relaxed state. Instantly getting defensive as he should. I fight fire with fire. He's the king of fire. Let's ignite this house. I can play this game.
"Nick..." Clay sits up as well. He's mirroring his best friend's posture. This isn't good. I've created a massacre. Or at least the start of one. "Don't fucking tell me what I think is about to come the fuck out is true."
Nick holds his hands up in the air. Cats out of the bag now Nick. You better start spilling before he jumps off this couch and absolutely devours you. And trust me, he's savage. He will stop at no end. He will destroy every and anything in his path. You should be worried Nick. You brought Karl here. You will get the consequences of my pain.
"Clay I—" Nick starts and Clay almost immediately starts to raise up off the couch. I will save you today Nick. I grab Clay and pull him down. I can tell he wants to fight me off but he doesn't. Because he fights me off and I leave. He won't let me slip away again.
"You fucked her." Clay motions to me. "You fucked my girl."
Nick doesn't respond and that automatically has Clay's blood absolutely boiling. He's wanting to just scream every evil word running wildly through his mind. But I am his calm. Even if his anger is because of me. I can still calm him. I've always been able to because it's my gift from God. I am his gift from God.
"Clay look at me." I pull at his hand and his face whips in my direction. "It hurts doesn't it?" I say softly and almost immediately his face drops. His anger softens. He goes weak. "Nick and I made a mistake a long time ago. Just like you've made a hundred mistakes. I might have fucked your best friend. But you left me homeless, lifeless, and alone in a world of hell that you made for me. We aren't equal. But we've both fucked up. So spill. Tell me what Karl's talking about."
The only way to ever get Clay to open up is to back him into a corner. To hurt him and surround him until he has no option but to open up. I thought we were over this. I thought all his secrets were out. I had my secrets but I never intentionally hid them from him. He never asked about if I was hiding things. I asked him on multiple occasion and it seems like he is still hiding.
Clay's silence speaks volumes. He's lost in his web of lies. He's trying to come up with another. The words are trapped inside his mind. A boy that is so good at manipulation is lost. Because I've got him in a spell. He's always lied to me. But I've always known his lies. He's not good at manipulating me. Unless it's manipulating me to fall in love with him.
I stand up and go to leave the living room but stop myself as I get to the hallway where Clay's room is. "I know you haven't fucked anyone since we've been together. But there is no way you lasted months with just your hand when I lived over an hour away. You've always broken your promises to me." I shrug my shoulders.
"Always got to keep your dick wet." I say under a sigh as I escape into his room. Not because I'm disappointed because I'm not. I've always known he never kept up his side of things. Clay has always craved physical connection. When he can't have it he crumbles. I couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted me and I... didn't want him. Or at least that's what he always thought.
"What the fuck just happened?" Alex questions. I hear it as I enter Clay's room.
Welcome to my life Q.
Welcome to our life.
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A/N: im excited for you guys to read this chapter. you finally know why she knows whose dick is bigger. you guys asked in the comments in the first book and here's your answer. our girl has done worse than clay has and for once... he hasn't exploded like the dynamite he normally is. he loves his family too much these days to break them. he needs them. no matter what.
if you loved this make sure you leave a comment and a vote <3
much love, Ashley