"Man has it all in his hands, and it all slips through his fingers from sheer cowardice."
- Fyodor Dostoevsky
"Why are you behaving this way towards me?" Kate asked softly, shaking her head.
"Because you're going to run!" He growled, as though it was painfully obvious.
"Of course, I'm going to run from a cage. You set me free only to start suffocating me yourself." She still didn't understand.
"Have you ever held something so precious to you that you just wanted to hold onto forever, squeeze the life out of it, even, it doesn't matter as long as it stays with you? I just can't overcome this feeling when I'm with you." He replied with an unnerving smile, his eyes dark.
"What? I'm... I'm not anybody's doll anymore." She shook her head once more.
"You're mine!" He growled, pushing her back against the wall with the weight of his body.
He would never lay a finger on her, even in this state of mania. His breath made the baby hairs in the front of her face dance. He slowly leaned down and breathed in deeply, taking in her scent as though he were a feral animal. But that's the way it was, she was always his prey, even in the beginning.
"Please." She whimpered.
"Please what? You don't mean it. You're just as obsessed with me as I am with you. We are drowning in each other and there is nothing left for us to grab to keep afloat." He ran his hands down her arms and pushed his weight into her slightly, just enough to pin her to the wall, preventing her from escaping.
"Fyodor." She pleaded softly.
"I'll never let you go. You need me just like I need you to keep me sane." He murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her tight. Every move he was making was animistic; he was suffocating her like a snake.
Kate was so conflicted inwards. The problem was, just as God who gave man free will, Fyodor did the same thing. She knew how easy it would be to give into him, to hold him and let him fill her mind and body completely. His hands and lips were the sweetest sins she had grown to know. But sin isn't something that God should do.
"Please don't." She put a hand on his chest, creating some space between them. She was tired; it took all of her strength to keep herself from running back to him.
As she finally brought her eyes up to his, she expected anger, sadness, disappointment-- something. All she saw was the mania that had been residing deep within his soul. This frightened her and she struggled to escape his grasp.
"Just let me go." She cried, eyes filling with tears.
"Let you go? I never thought I'd enjoy such a hunt like the one you set me on." He laughed, mocking her.
"Go on then, leave. See what happens when you try it. You'll never get far because I need you just as much as you need me." He took a step away, giving her the chance.
She took this opportunity to run to the door. However, she stopped once her hand was on the doorknob. She turned back around to Fyodor who was expectantly waiting for her to return. She saw the sadness on his face, but determination in his eyes. He was positive she wouldn't leave him. Slowly, and carefully she opened the door, keeping her eyes on him the entire time. He didn't move an inch.
She looked down at the floor, guilt filling her stomach. She promised herself she would give him anything he asked, so why was she doing this? After all that he's put her through, why would she stay? 'Because you have nobody else,' her mind answered for her. Nobody loved her like he did, and nobody was going to. She needed him just as much as he needed her.
With tears falling down her face, she closed the door. She waited before turning around and running back into Fyodor's open arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you, I promise." She cried, pleading for him to believe her. With one arm wrapped around her and the other in her hair, he held her.
For now, the beast within him had been restrained before it was too late. He couldn't be upset with her, not even if he tried. He held her and he believed her. She wouldn't leave him.
A/N: This hurt but I felt the need to add this bonus chapter to remind you that Fyodor isn't a good man, nor is he necessarily always good for Kate. Their relationship is rocky and unstable, running the risk of cracking at any given moment from his instability. But then again... Kate isn't entirely good for him either...