A/N: Deena x Reader! Here we go, also thanks to Jennifer234564 for this suggestion. Once again I am putting a TW: Talk of abuse and SA.
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Y/n was on a small lunch date with Deena as they were sitting outside, for the most part of Deena and Y/n's relationship, they seemed to feel like they knew everything about one another, but it turned out that it wasn't true at all.
Deena didn't know why she lived in her car for a month as whenever she would try to know more about it, Y/n seemed to falter and not say anything or answer, changing the subject.
Y/n didn't order any food yet she ordered Deena food, as much as the two bickered back and forth about her not eating if she wasn't going to eat, Deena finally gave in and started to eat but not constantly offering if Y/n wanted anything.
"Deena." Y/n said in a sternly tone, Deena sighed.
"Please... I just- I haven't seen you eat in a while. When was the last time you ate?" She questioned which Y/n seemed to ignore,
"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back." Y/n said before she rushed off inside and went into the bathroom's as she felt sick again. She didn't know why but sometimes when she saw food, she could feel it in her throat and it wouldn't go away; so, she'd make herself throw up just so she could get the taste out of her mouth.
Once she went back, she saw a man talking to Deena and everything froze. It was almost as if everything faded and even though people were speaking she couldn't hear it. She rushed over and pushed him away, everything came back to her and she pulled Deena off her chair,
"Come on, let's go. Now." Y/n demanded as she dragged Deena away from the lunch putting money on the table.
"Y/n, who was that?" Deena asked worriedly, trying to stop but Y/n continued to nudge her closer and closer to her car.
"P-Please, I-I wanna go home." She begged and Deena turned to her and nodded her head after a moment,
"O-Okay..." Deena agreed. They got in Y/n's car and she started to drive quickly off to Deena's to make her grand escape from the man that she had wished to never see again.
When they arrived at Deena's house, Y/n went to go out but then was stopped by a hand delicately on her wrist. She looked at Deena confused and she looked deep in thought,
"Who was that?" Deena asked. Y/n sat herself back down.
"W-What-?"
"Who was that?" Deena repeated. Y/n froze for a moment not saying a word, when Deena met her eyes, it made her more nervous so she looked down taking a small breath and forced her eyes shut.
"Does it really matter?" She breathed out as she looked up at her then opened her eyes as a tear fell down her face.
"I just want to know... I need to know-"
"You don't." Y/n denied. She was quite the pessimist and always doubted herself as well as pretty much everything. She struggled to believe that her girlfriend, Simon and Kate would stay by her side for much longer because of how she always overthought everything and was pessimistic and didn't like to admit that she had hope for things. (A/N: Small A/N. I just want to say quickly that this isn't all pessimistic people, I'm just using my experience, everyone's different)
"I'm not going to leave, if that's what your worried about-"
"God, can we not just drop this?" Y/n asked as she got out of the car slamming the door shut and walking toward Deena's house waiting for her to open the door. Deena got out and closed the door lightly, she walked over to the door and unlocked the front door as Y/n locked her car.
"I just want to help you..." Deena whispered to her before she walked inside the house, Y/n sighed and followed behind her.
"I'm just protecting you-"
"Well I don't need protecting!" Deena snapped at her, "I just want to fucking know what's happened! Because he clearly seemed to know you well!" She continued on to say, the words having a bitter taste in her mouth. "Why have you got to be so secretive?" She asked breathlessly,
"Me? I'm the one that's secretive? You don't even talk about how you feel! You push your feelings away! You always push me away whenever a small problem comes up." Y/n snapped back at Deena which made her groan in annoyance,
"But it's not like you don't know anything about me! I feel like I'm dating a fucking stranger!" Deena argued back,
"You know everything there is that you need to know-"
"EXACTLY! THERE IS STILL SOME STUFF THAT I NEED TO FIND OUT!" Deena screamed, cutting Y/n off. "I don't even know your fucking parents name! I've never even met them! I don't know if you have siblings and if you do then how old are they! It's like your embarrassed by me-!"
"IT'S NOT YOU THAT I'M EMBRASSED ABOUT! IT'S THEM!" Y/n screamed back as she punched the wall creating a huge dent in the wall that she was going to have to fix later. "I'm embarrassed for you to meet them because I'm scared you'll leave me after you find out the truth! I'm scared that I'll end up like them! I'm sometimes scared to even be around you!" Y/n admitted as she started using her hands as a demonstration, slightly moving from side-to-side. She finally looked at Deena who was looking at her with tears falling down her face,
"I would never judge you, based on your parents-"
"You don't fucking-" Y/n cut herself off and sighed, her hands covering her face, "you don't know that..." she said ashamed of herself as she removed her hands off of her face, slowly and hesitantly moving them down to her sides. She sighed letting her shoulders fall as she tried to relax, "I-I'm sorry for making a dent in the wall..." She mumbled and Deena shook her head.
"It's okay, come sit down. Your hands bleeding." Deena said as she pointed at her hand for a second, Y/n looked at her hand noticing the small pond of blood that she was creating, she sighed and went to go grab a towel but saw Deena putting one under the tap, she walked over and hugged Deena from behind.
"I'm sorry." She apologised once again. Deena shook her head.
"You were angry. I get it." Deena dismissed but Y/n didn't accept it, she was ashamed in herself that she allowed herself to get that angry and defensive. She pulled away and once Deena finished stopping the towel from dripping, she took it and cleaned the floor and the small piles of blood she had created. Ignoring Deena's requests of letting her do it and taking a sit down yet Y/n ignored every single request of it and did it herself, she then put it over her right hand and groaned slightly; she then walked over to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack, she wrapped it in the towel and placed it on her knuckles. She sat down across from Deena.
Silence.
It hurt Y/n as she felt like she had messed up and didn't mean too mess anything up. All she wanted to do was cry in Deena's arms, her dad scared her. Truly. After the 7 years of abuse and constant touching of places that she never thought a dad would even think off to touch especially when it was his own daughter... it still scared her. Hence why Deena and Y/n haven't had sex yet as whenever their make-out would slowly get more intense, the more Y/n would panic and immediately stop getting up and not being able to continue having a breakdown each time. Leaving Deena to hold her in her arms curious on why she seemed so scared of sex. She had questions that have been unanswered for 4 years now and although she didn't want to push Y/n, she at least deserved some answers.
"I-I'm sorry... p-please don't break up with me..." Y/n mumbled. Deena's eyes shot up to her, confused and stunned by the girl's words.
"What?" She breathed out, "I could never leave you." Deena assured taking Y/n's left hand in hers.
"I-It was my dad..." She muttered quietly, so quietly that Deena didn't even hear her; she saw that she spoke but nothing. Not a single word was picked up, so when Y/n's eyes met hers. She took a huge inhale and slowly exhaled removing her hand from Deena's. "I-It was..." She cleared her throat, "my dad. It was him." She sighed out her answer hoping that Deena heard so she didn't have to repeat the words again. Deena stared her down, shocked and surprised.
"O-Oh..." She let out as her eyes went from the table to slowly up to Y/n who looked down out of nervousness and started to itch the back of her neck, her elbow rested on the table.
"He kicked me out..." She continued to explain, Deena starting to listen feeling more and more angry at the man wishing she went back to that moment so he could beat him up even though she knew barely anything so far.
"O-Oh... and he tricked me... a-a few days ago, so..." She took her t-shirt off and slammed it down on the ground and stood up showing the bruises on her stomach and turned around to show her back that was just as covered as bruises as the front of her body, the old scars still being there. This was only the second time that Deena had seen Y/n without a t-shirt on as they had never gotten that far since Y/n was always the most dominant no matter how hard Deena tried to act top. "so I hope this explains why I'm not the biggest fan of showing you my body because I don't even like it myself." She continued on as Deena's eyes slowly dragged up to her eyes, the tears falling down her face making her heart feel so much sympathy for the shirtless girl in front of her. Y/n put her t-shirt back on. "Oh... and uhm..." She sat back down, "w-when I was like... 7 or something. H-He let me go to this party after he hit me for what felt like the millionth time... when I was uhm, I don't know, I think I was about 10 minutes late, he made me go up to my room, like the previous night and..." She paused as tears threatened to fall from her eyes, she took a soft gasp and covered her mouth as she brought her legs up to her chin. Deena finally getting what she was going to say, let her shoulders fall as she took in a small gasp of her own. Shocked at the information she had just heard and what she had just seen.
"Y/n..." She mumbled.
Y/n tucked her head into her knees bursting into tears, Deena rushed around to her pulling her into a hug, Y/n wrapped her arms around her neck and tucked her head into the nape of Deena's neck continuing to cry as she shook agressively in her arms.
"I-I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Y/n continiously apologised but Deena shook her head.
"No, no, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. Come here..." She mumbled as she moved an arm under her knees and picked her up taking the ice pack with her, "Why don't we go for a nap? Huh? We can do whatever you want." Deena assured as she moved her fingers around on her right hand that was on Y/n's back; Y/n nodded her head letting out a few sobs, the two went into Deena's room and Deena closed the door with her foot, she lowered Y/n on her bed and locked the door, Y/n shot up and looked at her. "I'm not going to do anything, love... I promise. I'm just going to lie beside you. Is that okay?" Deena asked, Y/n nodded her head as she wrapped her arms around her legs moving her legs up to her chin again. Deena nodded her head and slowly lowered herself down on the bed, taking her time to approach her. "I'm going to lie down now, k?" She assured, Y/n nodded her head; her eyes fixed onto the space in front of her feet, Deena laid down and put her hand out which made Y/n flinch slightly and move toward the bed side table slightly, "I-I'm sorry, d-do you want to lie down with me?" She offered and Y/n stayed silent not answering. Deena took that as a no and continued to lie down, it was silent between the two until Y/n slowly turned to Deena, her eyes were shut. She took a small breath and laid down hesitantly slowly dragging her feet down.
Her breathing became slightly rigid and made her way closer and closer to Deena, more and more hesitant with each movement but once she looked at her arms that seemed to be laid out perfect. Y/n's shaky hands took Deena's hands lightly and delicately trying not to wake her up not realising that Deena was pretending to sleep as she wanted to know what would happen. Y/n let out another shaky breath moving them around her waist before she slightly lifted her head and lowered slightly more on the bed so she could tuck her head into Deena's neck, her head fitting so comfortably. She tried to stop shaking but when she felt Deena's grip tighten slightly and a soft whisper come from Deena, her saying:
"It's okay, love. I don't want to force you into anything but I am here..." Y/n felt like everything was going to be okay, so, she let her body melt into Deena's which made her smile. Y/n fell asleep comfortably and safely in the arms of her home and Deena couldn't help but not be able to sleep as she just admired and gave her girlfriend back rubs, stroking her neck as she knew that she locked having neck scratches as well as head scratches. Those three were the way to her heart as Deena knew that she never recieved much affection and wanted to do nothing but give her endless affection.
Even if she wasn't good at recieving it for herself. She tried. And at the end of the day... it made Y/n's heart and mind fall more in love with Deena, what else could she ask for other than Deena? She was finally content with her life.
In the arms of someone who loves her.
And who she loves.
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A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed this one!