Jayen
The sunlight was right in my eyes when I woke up. I threw my arm over my eyes and sighed.
Damn it!
I rolled myself into a sitting position. Aoife’s bed was empty, her covers were tucked back in. If the sun was shining in my window, then it’s almost noon. I got up and started to get changed into my uniform. Why didn’t Aoife wake me up? I was supposed to start on the garden with the lady. I took off the handkerchief that was on my hand. The area around the wounds was a large dark pink circle. That means infection right?
“Jayen, dear Dei!? Are you ready yet?” Maj burst open the door as I finished buttoning my shirt.
“Yes? Can you look at my hand I think it’s-” I held my hand out to her but she just shook her head.
“Go! Go! Go!” Maj shooed me out of my room. “The lady’s waiting for you outside!”
“But I-”
“Now!”
I ran through the halls, clutching the handkerchief in my hand. I would ask the lady to go to the Town to get either some anti-infection or some sort of potion. If she didn’t let me go I would sneak out. I slowed down as I started getting closer to the door. I smoothed down my shirt and ran my fingers through my hair. I took a deep breath and stepped outside.
Aoife was sitting in the gazebo with Lady Dupon. They were sitting across from each other; it didn’t look like they were talking. Lady Dupon was wearing a sunhat that covered her face in a shadow.
“Jayen!” Aoife waved at me.
I walked over to them and Lady Dupon didn’t look at me.
“I’m going to water the plants now that you’re here. The boxwood looks a little dry and upset.” Aoife said.
“Water the Forget-Me-Nots before they start yelling.”
Aoife winked and walked away, leaving the two of us alone.
I sat down across from her and tucked my hands in between my knees. “My lady, I need to go to the Town. My little injury has started to get infected and I-”
She tilted her head towards me, showing more of her face. “Let me see.”
I held out my hand, I was still clutching the handkerchief. She took my hand in hers. This time, she was wearing fabric gloves that felt cool on my skin. She inspected my hand closely. She brushed her thumb over my knuckles and I shivered-embarrassingly.
“It is infected. You’ll accompany me to the Town and I will buy you the things you need. As long as you promise not to mess up my garden any more than you already have.” She dropped my hand and crossed her legs.
I bit back my defense and just nodded.
“Come on, I’ll have Jinan take us.”
Damn it.
I nodded. I felt clammy and cold despite the warm sun. Jinan would just be on the outside. He didn’t have to see me. He wouldn’t see me, I would get in the carriage fast.
“Go get Jinan and tell him to get ready. I believe he put the horses in the stable.”
“My lady. . . I really don’t want-”
“I didn’t ask if you wanted to get him. I told you to get him. Now go.” She stood up and walked away. Her dress swayed with each step, it was like watching water flow.
I got up and trailed her into the mansion. I kept my distance and my head down.
“You’re an Herbalist, correct?” Lady Dupon asked.
I sped up to match her pace a bit more. “Yes my lady.”
“Hm.” Lady Dupon pursed her lips. “Notify me when the carriage is ready.”
She went up the stairs and I headed into the servants wing. The hallway was empty but I could hear Kuna’s humming. They were singing a hymn. Dei’s Sorrow.
Maj was a Deist, she followed Dei’s teaching. Dei was the God of forgiveness and love, but he was also the God of strength. Dei was just one of the many Gods and Goddesses people worshiped. My parents were Hevanists. Heva was the Goddess of family and control. How fitting. I didn’t know Kuna was a Deist though.
“I didn’t know you were a Deist.” I leaned against the doorway. Kuna was cleaning up the kitchen,
Kuna jumped back then relaxed. “I didn’t know you knew anything about religion.”
I shrugged. “My brother’s wife is a theologist. She gave me a whole book about the Six. I read it three times, not much to do on Little Onshoren.”
Kuna laughed. “Is that so? What do you know about Fonn?”
I shook my head. “Ask me that later, I’m honestly just stalling. The lady told me to fetch Jinan to get her carriage. I’m trying to relax.”
“Right, don’t show fear.” Kuna shrugged. “Check his room. He doesn’t have a formal job now so he just lounges around and causes problems.”
“Like what?”
“Well. . . nothing. Yet.” They waved a finger at me. “But that doesn’t mean he won’t.”
I nodded and clasped my hands together to prevent them from shaking. My heart was in my throat. “Thank you.”
I left the room before I changed my mind. The sooner the better, right? I walked down to Jinan’s room and took a deep breath before knocking on the door twice.
“Lady Dupon asks that you get her carriage ready.” My voice sounded a lot more steady then I felt.
“Yeah, give me a second. I’ll pull it around.” He said from behind the door. His voice made me feel as if I were drowning all over again.
I heard his heavy footsteps walk towards the door and I froze. I could walk away right now. I could go hide with Kuna until he left. I could not be here. I jumped into motion as the doorknob turned. I ran out of the way and ducked into the kitchen. Kuna tilted their head at me and I put my finger over my mouth. Kuna shook their head and went back to cleaning the counter. I could hear his footsteps walking slowly down the hallway.
“Jayen?”
“Dear Fonn,” Kuna muttered. “She’s not here!”
“Right, sorry Kuna. Tell her I’m bringing the carriage ‘round front.” His footsteps got more and more faint until I heard the font door swing open.
“Alright, he’s gone. I want you to know you can always hang back by me if he’s too much, but I think you’re just going to have to hold your head up and ignore him.” Kuna dried their hands on their apron.
“That’s easier said than done. I just. . . need more time. . .”
Kuna put their hands up in defence. “I get it, I get it. Sorry. You should go get the lady now, I guess.”
“Yeah, yeah ok. I’m feeling a lot better now. It’s been months and it still feels like it was yesterday.” It’s true, I was feeling a lot better. My hands were steady again and my breathing was regular again.
“Take your time, Jayen.”
I nodded and brushed my hair away from my face. I didn’t have time to tie it up before Maj pushed me out of my room this morning too quickly. I ran my hands through it in an effort to brush out my tangled curls. I had to go get the lady sooner than later and I left the room.
Where did she say she would be? I walked down the hallway and peeked out the small front window. The carriage was on the road and Jinan was smoothing out the mane of one of the horses. Jinan looked towards the window and I dropped the curtain.
Was she supposed to be in her room? Probably. I made my way up the stairs and through the winding hallways. I didn’t want to go with Lady Dupon but I was willing to go if I meant I could get something to help my hand. I’m not her handmaiden though, I should be in my garden. . . with Aoife. I shook my head as I got closer to the door.
“My lady?” I asked tentatively.
“Come in.”
I opened the door, she was lounging on a leather armchair that was facing a large window. A bookcase that was already packed with books was behind her. She had her legs crossed at the knee and her hands folded neatly on her lap.
“Is the carriage ready?” She turned towards me.
“Yes, my lady.”
She rose from her chair, she was wearing her corset already, she probably had Maj help her after I fumbled my way through the simple task. She picked up a long black veil from the table behind her. Wait a minute. . . was that a funeral veil?
Widows and widowers are expected to wear all black and veils anytime they go out in public as a sign of respect for three months. When Mrs. Dune’s husband died, she wore her veil and her black dress for a year. The Dune’s were my parents' closest friends in the Coven. The longer you wear the veil, the more you’re showing respect and love.
“Let us leave then.”
I silently followed her out of her room. Did her partner die? Is that why she came here?
“When we get to the market you will walk beside me. You will not speak unless spoken too. You will not, under any circumstance, leave my side.” She looked out of the corner of her eye at me. “Is that clear?”
I’m not some trained dog. I refuse to just follow her around with rules like that.
“Am I understood?”
Do I have a choice? I nodded.
“Use your words.”
“Yes. . . my lady.”
“Good, you will get in the carriage after me and you will leave before me,” she said.
Any more of your stupid rules? “Yes my lady.”
Lord Damon never had any of these rules for us. We could do whatever we wanted in public as long as we weren’t hurting others or hurting ourselves. Or his reputation.
We walked the rest of the way in silence. Her, moving elegantly through the halls and me, trailing behind her and fiddling with my hands. Do I just have to wait for her to ask me what I need or do I point it out? Maybe I have to sneak away to get it? Or maybe she already knows the area? I have idea how much she knows about the area or anything about her. The last time I had an honest(ish) conversation with her she was intoxicated.
When we got outside Jinan was already sitting at the top. He was wearing a long black coat with his long dark hair tied back. I used to adore his hair and playing with it, it was always so soft and smooth.
The door was open and the lady ducked her head as she stepped in. I followed in after her, shutting the door behind me. She sat across from me, and I was sitting against the wall that separated me from Jinan. I tucked my hands inbetween my knees and looked out the door window. I could feel the lady’s attention on me.
“Knock on the wall to let him know we’re ready.” She crossed her legs and placed the veil over her head. It was made of a floral lace pattern that you could barely see her face through.
I nodded and knocked twice on the wall. The was a cracking noise then the carriage lurched forward. I nearly toppled over and had to put a hand out to steady myself. The lady made a noise that could’ve been a stifled laugh-- or maybe a yawn.
The carriage was moving down the road, it bumped along every rock and dent in the road but it was the smoothest ride I’ve ever had. The only other times I’ve been in a carriage was when I was a teenager and would get in an old carriage with Joshua and Lun to race through the forest around Little Onshoren.
“I will be kind to you today. You have yet to fully learn your responsibilities as my accompaniment to the Town. I would appreciate it if you were just as kind to me. I fear I do not know the area that well.” I couldn’t read her tone or her facial expression through the veil.
Learn my responsibilities? Was I given a job nobody told me about?
“Of course my lady. Goon. . . doesn’t take well to brand new faces. I think I should be the one to talk to him.” I said cautiously. It was half true.
“Goon?”
“He’s a potion maker,” I said, “he’s a friend of mine. He’s not used to new faces, the only people who move here are just temporary clerks and shop owners.”
She nodded as if deep in thought. “Very well. We will go there last.”
“Where else are we going?”
“I must. . . mail a letter.” Lady Dupon straightened her back, just slightly. “For future references, do not ask about my personal business.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to know if you needed me to show you where things are.” I sunk a little bit in my seat.
She readjusted how she was sitting. “Thank you, I suppose I don’t know where to go exactly. . . walk in front of me, just slightly and show me where to go. Just for today.”
“Of course, my lady.”