Annika hurried inside her bedroom and shut the door before he could reach it. She realized she had shut it literally on his face but she cared less. For once she felt happy to learn that he didn't sign the divorce. Then again, she was confused about what he was up to. If he didn't want this, why didn't he say so earlier? She knew she was very mad on the night she decided to divorce him. He could have told her later when she calmed down. What was the logic behind following her home, playing all cool, and irritating her more? Annika groaned in frustration. She could hear Shivaay knocking on the door again and again.
She recalled the last time she locked herself and he got so worried. A shy smile found her lips. Shivaay got worried for her too easily. She found it cute. All her madness, all grievances against him suddenly seemed to be draining away. Her eyes started seeing new dreams where they are together and happy again. Once again, she let herself dream without caring about unrequited love. She let herself fall without fear of losing.
***
"For the nth time, Annika," Shivaay knocked on the door once again. She behaved very very strangely after they stopped at the gas station. He had understood she was hungry by the rumbles inside her stomach breaking the silence in the car earlier. He wanted her to eat. Of all things, she decided to lock herself in a room again. He knew he was getting more worried than he should be. He was like that when it came to her.
Omkara's words rang in the back of his mind. Love. Huh! He did not want to think about it. He turned facing against the door. He leaned his head on the wall of the corridor. Memories of Annika's childhood were painted on the wall in the form of pictures. Some of them included Harsh as well. A few of them featured an unknown woman with Harsh. He realized she must be Annika's mom. He never learned how she looked. Shivaay mocked himself. He remained unaware of one of the greatest details of his wife's life for a long time. Annika herself talked less of her mom. She knew everything he was learning by seeing the pictures. Her parents looked like a great couple. Harsh never married after his wife left. Such dedication to a dead spouse. He was amazed. He knew Annika must be too. He didn't know what he would do if Annika left him alone with a daughter. Will he marry again after a few years? Or he will stay her widower for life as Harsh did.
Shivaay could process everything in the back of his mind. The dedication was what Annika called love. Romance novels and movies alone couldn't dare to corrupt a girl Annika's mind. She knew this feeling, she felt this feeling from the early days of her life. She listened to this love story growing up. She wanted a man who loved her like Harsh loved her mom. The romance portrayed in fiction could only influence her thoughts, not create them. The romance in real life grew in her system. Just like his beliefs grew in him.
He realized that love was not a complicated thing at all. Love was not poetic or fictional either. Love was something that is felt by one heart and finds its way to reach the other. Just like Annika's pain reached him. And his happiness reached her.
The creak of the opening door brought an end to Shivaay's muse. She had changed and looked less tired.
"I need to hire someone to change these doors. They are too old," Annika remarked.
"I will ask Khanna to get someone tomorrow," he offered. She looked at him all smiles. He was surprised that she listened to him at once. He smiled as well. Wives rarely listen, but when they do it touches your heart.
"Oops, I need to get changed as well," he realized he had been in his suits and boots still. He excused himself and entered the room to change. Annika made her way to the kitchen to finally satisfy her tummy.
***
Shivaay joined Annika at the small dinner table set in her kitchen soon afterward. He didn't fail to notice how flustered she was. His lips automatically formed an amused smile. He wasn't leaving the chance to rile her up again.
"Khana pet main ja raha hai ya dimag mein?" he asked
She did not reply. Not because she didn't want to but because she wasn't listening. He cleared his throat in an attempt to gain her attention. When she didn't notice, he did so again. He tapped his fingers on the table as well. Then he coughed. He cleared his throat again.
He sighed, giving up. If he tried getting her attention any longer, he would catch a sore throat. Then he would have to cough for real.
"Annika!"
"Hmm?"
"I asked khana pet mein ja raha hai ya dimag mein?" he repeated.
Annika squeezed her eyes. This was a very bad joke if he was kidding. He wasn't being sarcastic or funny here.
"I can't deal with this now," she took a deep breath before continuing to have her meal.
"Come on. I asked to find out if your brain starts working after having food. Khana dimag mein jaye toh shayad usse fuel mile aur woh kaam karne lage."
"You aren't funny anymore."
"I ain't a lot of things anymore," he replied in affirmative.
Annika looked up. Both of them knew what he referred to. But why was he lying? He didn't sign the papers, so he is technically still her husband. Oh, this fact was making her happier than it should.
"When did my brain stop working?" she asked. She didn't need an answer. She just wanted to hear him talk.
"Ever since you came here," he replied, "Honestly, your brain stops working every time you come here."
"What's wrong with this place? This is my home," Annika couldn't help but be offended. He knew which strings to pull.
He shook his head, "Nothing wrong with this place. Your reasons behind coming here were wrong."
She didn't say a word. She kept looking his way silently asking him to continue.
"Okay, I have to accept. The first time you were here, it was my fault. I said sorry too. You decided you couldn't forget but you forgave. It was nice of you. I don't know if you have forgotten the incident yet but the little days we spent together in peace tell me that you don't judge me based on what I did back then."
Annika knew he was right. She didn't reply. She wanted him to continue speaking his mind.
"But this time, I won't take all the blame to myself," Annika raised her eyebrows. Shivaay didn't let it intimidate him and continued, "You came across a piece of paper and decided to end a relationship. Was it mature enough? I agree. I accept that I shouldn't have said yes to marriage just because I wanted my business to grow. I mixed my professional and personal life. Annika, at that time, I didn't know the beauty of marriage. I learned the meaning of this relationship afterward. I started respecting what is between us when we were in Crete. When I saw how hurt you were knowing about Mallika. When you were drunk and spoke your heart out. When you hugged me after throwing those phones. When you cooked for me the first time. When I kissed you for the first time. When we saw the sunset in Matheran. When you challenged my beliefs. When you stood by me during Priyanka's suicide attempt. When you fasted for me. When we spent a night under the stars."
Shivaay released a deep breath. Both of them didn't speak for a long time. Annika was shocked by how he remembered all their moments. This was the person who forgot his own employees' names. Of course, barring the very important ones.
"Both of us failed to respect this relationship," Shivaay replied in all honesty, "The only difference being, I signed the contract papers without knowing the adventure I was getting into and you signed the divorce papers after all the memories we created together."
Annika held back her tears. This was not the moment. He was making her feel guilty. He whitewashed himself by pointing out her flaws. What a shame!
But he didn't put all the blame on her. He said both of them failed to respect their marriage. He accepted his fault here. Annika shut closed her eyes. He painted that she was more at fault here. She couldn't decide what she wanted to believe. She at least knew that he took an equal share of blame on himself.
"Memories," she found difficulty speaking, "Memories you won't remember?"
"Memories I will cherish for life," Shivaay replied, "You are with me or not." He recalled the love between her parents as he said so. At that moment, not just Annika but he too wanted such type of life for himself.
"Will we be able to create more memories?" Annika mumbled but he heard that.
"Only if you want," he replied.
Her eyes met his. The intensity in her stare challenged him. She didn't need to know why he failed to sign the divorce papers. Everything was said and understood during their small exchange. Shivaay loved her as much as she loved him if not more. Certainly not less.
"I saw the unsigned papers in the median compartment of your car," she broke the secret in her heart. She found relief as she did so. Perhaps now he would face his feelings. There was no point in being together yet separate when they shared similar sentiments.
Shivaay turned statue. He could feel how eager she was to receive a reaction. He could give non. She was turning Omkara's words true. She was proving the romance novels and Bollywood movies right. She was dreaming of a life similar to what her parents might have had. He turned stiff. He didn't know how to react. He didn't know what to reply. He was asking the question to himself without finding any other answer.
"I realized something," Shivaay muttered to himself.
Annika silently encouraged him to speak something. Anything.
"I just realized," his words trailed off.
"Shivaay?"
He was turning nervous. Perhaps he already was. The volume of emotions reached over the capacity his heart could intake. Oh, this heart again. He was wrong to blame Annika or himself. Everything was rooted in the play of this heart. Both of their hearts.
"Annika, I—I—I forgot to flush the toilet," he turned to his heels and walked away. Annika smiled instead of being confused. People took time to realize they were in love and this man took too much time to believe in love.
Precap: Love in pool