The end of a long day at the office brought very little to no hope for Shivaay. It had been a long time since he interacted properly with Annika. This morning he was happy about their last night conversation. However, as the day dawned, realization too dawned upon him that she wasn't ready to trust him until and unless he confessed.
How could he confess when he was not sure of it himself? The idea of romantic love was as alien to him as it was for Annika before she met him. Then how did she realize? Should he ask her straight up?
He sighed at his own stupidity. There was no way he could ask her and she would answer him straight. She would deny being in love with him. And on the inside, she would start building hopes. He wanted none of that. Especially the latter until and unless he was confident about his own feelings.
He opened the desk drawer to pick up a phone he used less and dialled a call to a person he knew had his answers. He didn't care if the answers were bizarre or made no sense to him at the moment.
"Hello, how is Belgium?" Omkara almost chuckled as he said so.
Shivaay held the phone at a safe distance from his ear in order to check if the one he was using was the right one. The right one being the one he used when travelling internationally for half his family thought he was in Belgium with Annika.
"It is nice," he hesitated a little, "I won't forget your list."
"Ahuh. How is the snow there? Are you enjoying?" Omkara asked from the other end.
"Yes, yes, why not? Why won't we enjoy it here? Of course, we are," he rambled along, making Omkara break into laughter.
"Om?"
When Omkara was finished, he replied, "Recently I called your regular number by mistake. It told me your phone was engaged in Marathi."
Shivaay massaged his temples in embarrassment. Omkara continued, "When I called the office for further query, it turned out both of you are in Mumbai."
Shivaay hadn't seen the least chances of anyone calling the office for one reason or the other. If they do need something, they know to call Khanna. Khanna had been told to keep the secret.
"Khanna told you, right?" Shivaay asked.
"No, he lied which I knew he would," Omkara answered, "It is when I called Mishra that I got to know the truth."
"Damn Mishra!" he cursed under his breath. The family had little contact with Mishra, so he never thought either of them would call Mishra over Khanna.
"What is happening, Shivaay?" Omkara asked, "Any problem between you and Bhabhi? Look, I don't want to interfere, but if you need to hide something from the whole family, it must be something big."
"Did you fight with her?" he added.
"I am not fighting with your Bhabhi. Your Bhabhi is fighting with me," Shivaay replied in frustration.
"It's the same."
"No, it's not the same," Omkara could tell his brother was almost losing his cool.
"Okay, okay. Whatever it is, solve it and come back home. I hope you are not planning to live like this forever."
"Of course not," Shivaay answered, suddenly afraid of Omkara's words becoming true in the far future. He made his caller wait a lot more before he spoke further, "I just don't know how. She is adamant this time. She will never accept me back."
"Why don't you come back? Leave her to herself and come back to your previous life. No need to follow her like a lost puppy," Omkara sounded a bit harsh, but he recognized Shivaay's feelings and knew that the latter needed a push to accept them.
"Have you gone mad? What are you saying? She is my wife," Shivaay almost yelled. Immature words sounded good from Rudra. Even Rudra won't have said so in place of Omkara. He couldn't believe this was the most mature Oberoi brother he was speaking to.
"So? Just let her be. Why can't you?" Omkara questioned.
"If I knew it—"
"You are in love," Omkara interrupted Shivaay.
Shivaay lost his voice for a moment. His brother's words were hard to digest. He never questioned himself if he was in love. And now suddenly someone tells him that he is. The poetic world Omkara lived in was certainly a doom for Shivaay.
"Poetic words suit you, not me," Shivaay replied, "You know that I don't—"
"Believe in love," Omkara completed Shivaay's words, "Then what is it that you feel for us? Why is it that you care for Dadi even when she is unreasonable at times? Why is it that you care about fulfilling Dad's dream project? Why is it that you were so worried when Prinku tried to suicide? Why is it that you don't mind Rudra's immature jokes when stupidity gets into your nerves? And why is it that you followed Bhabhi to her home without heeding to your elephant-sized ego?"
Omkara knew his questions made Shivaay question himself. It was good for Shivaay. He disconnected the call and let his brother answer those complicated questions all by himself.
I am not talking about romantic love here. You love your parents, I am sure. You love Dadi, Rudra, Priyanka, Omkara, and others in your extended family back in Punjab. That emotion is also love.
Shivaay recalled Annika's words to him on the night of her birthday. Omkara was saying the same. That's how the rest of the world viewed love. Love was family. And friends. Annika was both his family and friend for life.
"No," he failed to agree that he was in love with her. His feelings for Annika were way different than his feelings for the rest of his family. Then how could both be love? It couldn't be. She was family, yes. A part of the family he wanted to always be with him.
***
As Shivaay reached for his car in the office parking lot, he recognized Annika standing beside her car from afar. A few steps in her direction and he saw a few mechanics checking her vehicle. She had her arms crossed across her chest and looked worried.
"Hi. Can I help?" he asked knowing her answer was most likely a no.
"No," and he was right. He sighed.
"Did your car break down?" he asked.
"As you can see," her voice trailed.
He grabbed her hand saying, "Come with me. We will get your car fixed later."
She quickly freed her hand from his hold. She didn't want to shout and grab the attention of others in the parking lot. She whispered, "Leave. I will come when my car is ready."
"I can't leave you here. It's almost eight. We have worked too much for the day. I am sure you are tired too. Get inside," he pointed to his car.
"You may go. I am waiting for my car to get repaired," Annika replied.
"I am not asking you to marry me again. I am asking you to get in my car so I can get you to the home we both live in," Shivaay said quietly.
"My answer to both is a no," she remained adamant.
"Annika, it's too late. It's not safe," Shivaay tried to make her understand.
"I have been alone before too. I spent four years studying in a different city," she argued.
"Mumbai is not London," he argued back.
"I know how to care for myself. You think I am incapable and immature?" she was turning aggressive.
"You are on a different tangent. I didn't mean that. We don't know how long it is going to take. Why can't you come with me?"
"No, I heard you clearly said 'it's not safe"
"So did I say anything wrong? Do you think we are in a safe city?" Shivaay asked in a mocking tone. He didn't want to but she was going overboard as usual.
" Ahhh. Okay, it isn't. But. I. Am. Not. Coming. With. You," Annika enunciated each other.
Shivaay shook his head in disbelief. They remained silent for a long time. They were staring at each other. Finally, he walked past her to talk to the mechanic under her car repairing it.
"Hey man. How long will it take?"
"I have no idea, sir. My colleague was looking at the engine. We need some more stuff to repair the car, so he went to the garage to bring them." the man replied.
Shivaay nodded and stood up properly. He walked facing Annika with a winning smile.
"The guy says his partner went to their garage to bring something. Only then your car will be fine. I think it will turn eleven by the time you have your car ready," Shivaay earnestly said
Annika glanced at her watch showing a quarter to nine. Owing to Mumbai's traffic, it will be nine and a half by the time their worker reaches her office. Then they will have to repair whatever malfunction there is. She sighed. She wasn't reaching home before midnight. She wasn't even sure if her car would be ready to go tonight or if it will take a few more days.
"You are right. I will come with you," she said at last.
Smilingly, Shivaay walked up to his car and opened the door for her. She was going to ride in his car after a very long time. On their way, they informed the mechanics that they could take Annika's car to their garage to fix it.
***
Annika was hungry. Famished to define it correctly. The diet biscuits she usually carried in her bag finished a day before yesterday. She didn't want to tell Shivaay about it and earn a lecture on why she should have come along with him earlier.
Suddenly, he stopped the car making her look at him as if she would eat his head if she did not get food. Oh, she considered the idea for once.
"Gas is nil. I will be quick," he mouthed and went out of the car. Annika finally paid attention to her surroundings learning they were in a gas station. Her stomach rumbled again. She felt she would die if she didn't get food.
She turned on the interior lights and opened all the pockets and compartments in search of food. He was not a foodie but her instincts said normal people carry snacks with them.
When she rummaged through the box between the driving and passenger seat, she came across the divorce papers. Her heartbreak in one word. This time she couldn't cry. Perhaps the pain was deeper than the worth of her tears. She read through all the clauses once again albeit the words made little sense. The letters played with her brain as they did with Ishaan's in Taare Zameen Par.
She saw her signatures on the bottom of the page. The spot meant for Shivaay's signs was empty. He didn't sign. Her lips immediately curved up in a sweet, beautiful smile. For a moment she didn't care to analyze his actions, motives, or reactions behind everything. He didn't sign and they were still husband and wife. This matted a whole lot more than she could say.
She heard the sound of his footsteps and hurriedly stuffed the papers back where they were. Shivaay surely noticed her stiffness and muffled giggles when he came back. He knew better than to ask. Annika kept glancing his way throughout the rest of their ride. Her heart was melting like butter on wheat bread.
Precap: "I forgot to flush the toilet."