"Cas, you have to promise me to not give me your Grace in order to heal me when I'm hurt. Do you understand Cas?" You turn to your angel on your guy's bed you share and stare at his black haired head waiting for him to turn his head.
"I don't understand why you don't want to be healed, y/n?" Cas asks you and turns to stare into your y/e/c eyes.
"Because I trust when the world wants me to leave this God forsaken place then I shall leave." You whisper back to Cas hoping not to wake Dean and Sam in the room next to you two. "Just promise me this Castiel, please."
You have been thinking of having this conversation with Cas for awhile and this isn't going how you'd liked. You just wanted to go out with a bang not a whisper.
Cas waits a minute then nods his head and says "I promise." knowing you mean business when you call him by his full name.
"Good." You huff and lay back down on the bed to get a good rests sleep for maybe once in months. Cas was about to fly back up to heaven for more information on the oncoming war until he felt your hand on his sleeve. You tugging on Cas's trench coat sleeve was something Cas couldn't say no to.
In the end it was you and Cas sleeping in a motel bed beside Dean and Sam in another room hoping for the day you don't get injured.
➸ Years later ➸
"Cas." You gasp out as the knife plunges through your heart. You stare at his deep ocean blue eyes and fall to the ground. He quickly rushes over to you as you lay on the cold concrete ground. A deep red color start to pool around your body as you lay helplessly waiting for comfort. You know there is defiantly no way thing was a thing Dean could just sew up with a needle and a bottle of whiskey.
The human that stabbed you in the heart starts running away but Sam and Dean are outside so your not worried. Cas finally reaches you as you have labored breaths. He slowly picks you up and lays you on his lap. You head lays against his elbow and you know it's not going to be long till you're dead to world, literally.
You reach your bloody soaked hand up for Cas's cheek and turn his face toward you. His eyes sparkle with a gleam of tears in the them. Cas brings his hand up to your face and brushes your hair out of your face. You smile weakly and he brings his hand back to your face but his fingers inch towards your forehead.
"I thought if you were at least going to try to heal me you weren't doing to do your signature move." You whisper under your breath. You look up into Cas's eyes and see you left a print of your bloody hand on his cheek. "No, Castiel Baby. No healing me. You have to respect my requests." You scold him and wheeze out your breathes. You become light headed.
"We killed the dude guys we're alright to go- Y/n?" You look to the side and see Dean and Sam standing a good 10 feet away from you and Cas. You smile despite your dying in front of their eyes. You got to think about the pluses; you actually know what's there is on the other side either hell or heaven.
"Hey guys." You say to them and then you starts coughing up blood. A pint of blood later you're turning black and blue from lack of oxygen going to your organs because of not having enough blood. You feel yourself slip in and out of consciousness.
"Hey Cas Baby, I'll see you soon. I have a feeling heaven is calling my name." You start to spam and go into cardiac arrest. Your body convulses and shutters. The boys don't know what to do and start freaking out. Sometime during the cardiac arrest and the screaming you died. Not how you wanted to go out but you had to go sometime.
You stand near your not moving and going cold body. You see Cas shrivel up with tears that thunder through his body. All the boys freely cry for you and stare at your body not believing you have died.
You start walking around the place waiting for your reaper to come and reap you. When you walk out of the abandoned warehouse you see a shadowed figure. You walk over to it and see a familiar face.
"Tessa?" You call out to the reaper you remember from a hunt with Dean. The black hair "girl" turns around with a sweet smile on her face. You walk over to her and hug her tight. "Thank God for a familiar faced reaper."
She laughs and then let's you go. "So I've heard you've left with a bang." She tries not to say the word dead. Probably thinking you're not ready to hear the word yet and she's probably right.
"More like a whisper." You laugh a little. "Not really how I wanted to go."
"So, you think you're ready to go?" She asks and you understand what she is talking about; the light. The supposed white light that comes to the dead after they've died and brings them to their awaiting destination.
"No, not yet." You say and turn to look at the warhorse again. "Just a minute then I'll be ready."
She says nothing and you guess she nodded her head okay. You walk over to the warehouse and see the boys still huddled over your body when you're inside. You walk over to them and knee next to them over your body. When you stare at your now pale skin and your dead eyes staring at nothing a shudder goes through you. The blood surrounding you is all over your body's clothes, skin and is all over Cas, Dean and Sam.
It's like staring at a fun house mirror but it isn't that fun, you think. You reach out to touch your body but your hand just goes through your body. You instantly pull back and bring your hand to your chest. You look over at Cas and wonder if he could see you seeing that he is an angel and stuff.
You get up off your knees and walk over to Cas and place your hand on his shoulder. A shudder goes through him but when he looks up he looks right through you. A sod breaks through your mouth seeing that even the love of your life can't see your soul. You go in front of them and start screaming and moving your hands frantically.
"Dean! Sam! Cas! Please look at me! I'm right in front of you! God damn-it!" You scream at them and then fall to the ground in sobs. You feel a hand in your shoulder and you look up and see Tessa. She looks down at you with a pity look on her face.
"I'm sorry y/n but they're not going to hear or see you even Castiel." She says with sadness lacing her voice.
"Why can't Cas see me?" You crock out and then stare back at your boys with tears streaming down your face.
"Because you're a fresh soul. You just came out of your body; he can't sense you yet." She looks over at Cas and pity looks him too. "Plus I don't think he is trying to find you. He is grieving for you right now but maybe soon he'll look for you." She suggests and then looks back at you.
You look up at her then at Cas. "Are you sure?" You ask her like you're a little kid all over again.
"I'm sure but not positive." Tessa then let's go of your shoulder and you get up off the ground.
"I guess that's as good I'll get for now." You quick wipe your face of your tears and then turn around to Tessa. She looks up to you after starring at the boys and wipes away swim of your excess tears.
"For now." She repeats and then looks into your eyes taking her hands away from your face. "You think you're ready now? You can't stay here forever.
"I know Tessa." You look back at Cas for the last time then you look at Tessa. "Yeah I'm sure, I'm ready now."
"If you insist." She says and then she moves to the side and you see the light.
"It's real?" You ask with disbelief in your voice starring at the white light.
"I can't see it but yes, it's very much real." Tessa says staring at you with a smile on her face.
"I never actually thought it was real. I thought it was total bullshit." You admit as you slowly walk over to it.
Tessa laughs and nods her head. "Most people do except for the believers."
"Believers?" You question and turn around to look at her.
"Yeah the Christians believing in the white light that leads you to heaven and stuff."
"Oh." You now stand in front of the light and you feel warmth radiating off it. You look back to Cas one last time and then you turn to Tessa. "Bye Tessa, it was nice seeing you around again."
"It was nice seeing you too y/n and this time stay dead." You both laugh trying to keep the atmosphere with a easy going feeling.
"I'll try this time. Thanks again Tessa." She waved to you and you walk through the light.
➸ Ohh this gave me feels. Next update will be Part 2.