SAUDADE // B.E

Door billieachess

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saudade /souˈdädə/ noun a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that... Meer

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓
𝐈𝐈
𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐈𝐕
𝐕
𝐕𝐈
𝐕𝐈𝐈
𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐈𝐗
𝐗
𝐗𝐈
𝐗𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐈𝐕
𝐗𝐕
𝐗𝐕𝐈
𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐈𝐗
𝐗𝐗
𝐗𝐗𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐕
𝐗𝐗𝐕
𝐗𝐗𝐕𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐗
𝐗𝐗𝐗
𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐕
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

𝐈

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Door billieachess

ANNAGRACE REID

"and you're coming here to get better, yes?" i asked.

"yeah, well, you see... i've been raw-dogging my way through life; no medication, no help, nothing. you know?" she gave me a look. "so, i think it's time i finally put the condom on and get some help."

i blinked at her a few times before writing something down. "right... well, i think that concludes our session for today, jessie."

"oh, for real?" she raised a brow.

"yeah." i nodded.

"damn. well, i'll see you next week then, dr. reid." she said as she stood up.

"of course."

i escorted her out of my office. i watched as she walked off, running a hand through her curly hair.

she's lowkey kinda fine.

it's not like i can pursue her though; she's my client, so that would be unethical. not to mention, i could get fired for it.

though, we're only on our second session, so maybe she'd be willing to switch to someone else in the building?

lemme stop.

i couldn't be in a relationship right now anyways. billie ruined that option for me.

it's been three years since that day she told me she cheated on me.

i cried every day for at least two months after that.

i really loved billie. hell, to be honest, i still do. she was unlike anybody else i had met, and every moment we spent together was pure bliss.

then she ruined that by cheating on me.

and with que of all people? fuck outta here.

can't believe i got cheated on with a man. that's so fucking embarrassing.

she ruined me. i haven't even been able to think about getting into another relationship since then. i'm too scared to. i don't wanna get hurt again.

of course, i've had countless hookups in the meantime. they were meaningless though.

anyways, speaking of billie, her music finally got big. she's practically everywhere you go. she just played at coachella a few weeks ago, and she released an album back in march. i haven't listened to it though; i really haven't listened to any of her music, actually. i just don't think i'll be able to.

note to future self; don't date famous people. it makes it harder to get over them.

i let out a sigh as i walked out of my office. i walked to jayden's office, knocking on her door. she said i could come in, so i did.

"oh, hey, ag," she greeted. "wassup?"

"nothing," i shrugged. "i just finished with my last client for today, so i thought i'd stop by." i told her as i slid into a chair across from her.

"ahh," she nodded in understanding. "are you about to go home then?"

"probably, yeah," i sighed. "i've just gotta do a bit of paperwork."

"mm," she hummed. "fun."

"totally." i said sarcastically. i looked at her, looking her up and down as i bit my lip slightly. "are you sure you're straight, 'cause j—"

"yes, i'm sure," she cut me off with a laugh. "i've done told you about how i experimented in college; i am not attracted to women, unfortunately. if i had a choice, i definitely would be though. men are trash and are the scum of the earth."

"i agree," i nodded. "fuck men."

"mhm," she nodded. "can't stand them motherfuckers."

"me neither," i sighed. "well, i think i'm gonna go do that paperwork now or whatever."

"alright. see you tomorrow then?" she raised a brow.

"yeah, see you tomorrow." i confirmed as i nodded.

i walked back to my office, sitting at my desk.

i graduated from college last year and got my degree. by then, i had figured out that i wanted to be a therapist. so, i became one; simple as that.

i had also moved to la because one, adrian had got drafted to be on some soccer team in la that i forgot the name of.

i don't pay attention to soccer shit. sue me.

and two, since adrian had got drafted to play in la, mom and dad had moved there as well. i didn't want to not live in the same area as all of them, so i just moved to la.

which i've realized gives me a higher chance of seeing billie; i don't like that. luckily though, i haven't seen her.

i finished up all of my paperwork. i then stored it away neatly. i grabbed my keys and my wallet, sticking my wallet into my pocket. i walked out of my office and locked it up. i said goodbye to jayden once again and said goodbye to larri; another one of my friends who work here.

me, jayden, and larri are the youngest therapists here. it's funny to brag about it to the older therapists who work here; they always get so annoyed.

since we're all so close in age and have similar interests, we all clicked almost immediately.

it's nice being friends with the people you work with.

i exited the building, then went out to my car. i got in, buckled up, then started driving to my apartment.

once i got to my apartment, i set my keys and wallet on my kitchen counter. i looked around, feeling weird with how quiet it was.

i hate living alone.

i went to my bedroom, grabbed a pair of clothes, and then went to take a quick shower. after i finished my shower, i got dressed, and decided to let my hair air dry.

i went back to my room and turned on haikyu. it wasn't my intention, but i quickly fell asleep.

<•>

a/n okay i literally just finished writing this so i'm gonna a post it so i can wake up to y'all's comments 💀

thoughts?

predictions?

anything you wanna see in this?

do y'all like the outfit at the top of the chapter since i'm not doing the gifs anymore?

also— yes that is jj from addiction/overcome that i mentioned at the top of the chapter ☝️😌

think of this as an alternative universe kinda thing where she never met billie— so this is what her life would be like LMAO

anyways

goodnight, i'm gts now :)

i'll answer any questions you have when i wake up

words:
1050

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