Shubho Naboborsho, Happy Baisakhi, Happy Guri Parwa, and Ramadan Mubarak dear readers. A chapter in the middle of the week was in high demand, so here you go:
***
Shivaay finally sighed in relief seeing Khanna coming in with a man he assumed to be a locksmith. "Fast" the guy increased his pace and stood right in front of the door.
"Don't stare at my face. Make the key," he spoke rudely.
"Annika, don't worry. I will open the door for you soon," he assured her.
On the other side of the door, Annika placed the pen and papers inside her handbag hearing him. She wiped her tears and walked ahead to open the door.
"Annika," he stepped around Khanna to face her and pulled her in a hug. She didn't hug him back. "I was so worried," he said, "Why weren't you opening the door?"
No reply. He pulled away from the hug to cup her face. There were stains of tears on her cheeks. He rubbed the pad of his thumb on them as if compensating for not being there when she cried. She held his hands and tried pushing them away. Not getting the hint, he placed his hands on either side of her shoulders. He quickly glanced around the room finding it in a complete mess. He looked back at Annika. He could not understand how she made the mess being the patient woman she was nor he wanted to know at the moment. His Annika was safe. That was the biggest relief.
"It's okay. Fine. I will ask Khanna and Mishra. They can be entrusted to take care of confidential things like these," he caressed her hair, "It's well past one. You must be hungry. Come with me to my cabin. We will order something."
Annika got stiff. Did Khanna and Mishra know about the oh-so-confidential deals too? Just like how the media, Mallika and Dev had a whiff of it. She held her bag more protectively. Shivaay shouldn't come to know that she knew. At least not now. He will trap her in his sweet words and she would end up forgetting and forgiving both of which she didn't want to.
"Annika," he tugged her arm. "Let's go." They took the elevator to reach the floor where Shivaay's cabin was.
***
Upon reaching his cabin, Shivaay pulled a chair for Annika. He sat right beside her taking her hand in his.
"I said I am sorry. How many more times should I say it? I know you are upset, but honestly, I am as upset as you are. Anya was blabbering sh*t about us. She had no right to judge. I got angry. I had no idea it would end like this." He was waiting to be asked the big question once again. He was scared although he knew if she asked, he won't be able to ignore her once again. He didn't know if he was ready for her questions but he sure didn't want Annika to lock herself again.
Instead, Annika slid her chair the other way pretending to enjoy the view of the city from the window with open blinds. Shivaay stared at the floor momentarily, tapping his feet, rotating the paperweight on the desk. Knowing how sensitive Annika was, he didn't want to clear the matter. She will go away from him once again. He wanted to delay things as much as possible. He stood up and brought his feet to stand beside Annika's chair.
"Annika don't be like this, please. I can't handle this silence." Annika smiled pitifully. She couldn't handle the silence either. Yet that's what she received. Silence. When she asked her father and when she asked her husband. She couldn't believe how dumb she was in the past. The two men made a deal of her life and she let it happen. She recalled crossing out the clause on the fifth page just a while ago. Her eyes sparkled with new motive. Shivaay couldn't use her anymore. Shivaay could live his life with what he actually wants.
He knelt down and took her hands in his once again. "You know how worried I was when you locked yourself inside the cabin. The fire line passes through the room. Anything could have happened. You should be a little more mature about things, right?" it was new information for her. Anything could have happened if that was the case. Maybe he was right but she was too upset to accept her faults. "I know you are mad at me but this punishment is way bigger than the crime," he added.
There was a knock on the door. "It must be the lunch. Now your mood will be fine once food reaches your stomach." Only now she paid attention to the rumbles inside her stomach. He was right in this case too. Part of the reason she couldn't judge properly was hunger. She leaned her head backward hitting the headrest of her chair.
"Annika!" he called her for the nth time. She sat upright. Not knowing for how long she had been silent, she waited for him to speak.
"Food is here. You had breakfast pretty early in the morning. I am sure you are hungry. At least I am," he served the food to both her and himself. Annika picked up the spoon and began eating. She didn't know if her decision was right. It was made in five seconds. It could be wrong. Most likely it was wrong. There were many marriages without love. At least hers had half of it. Then again, she didn't want a marriage of convenience. A marriage based on money. A marriage born out of selfishness. Shivaay could never learn to love. He himself said so. She won't want him to live with liability in form of a wife. So why not free the person she loved dearly and take all the pain herself?
***
"Oh, I had something to tell you," Shivaay wiped his mouth upon finishing his lunch, "I am going to Belgium next month for business-related purposes. You should come along." He really hoped she did. His trip to Belgium fortunately or unfortunately fell in time for their six-month anniversary. He didn't want to be away from her on that day and he wanted to finish the honeymoon they couldn't start.
"I won't be needed," she said.
He furrowed his eyebrow. "It's actually a two-day work but if you come we can extend it to fifteen days," he hinted.
"I will tell you later," she said.
He nodded not going to the depth of her words. She looked sad and he noticed it very well. He knew exactly why she was off. However, he couldn't do anything about it. The answer to the question she asked would only make her mood worse. Her spoilt mood would in turn torment him.
There was another knock on the door. "I asked them to not disturb us."
"Shivaay, let them in. Must be urgent."
A small smile captured his lips. She talked normally after a long time and he liked it. "Come in."
It was Mishra, his personal assistant. "Sir, we have a group meeting in less than an hour. If you want to check the agenda once again—"
Shivaay quickly glanced at Annika before replying, "Keep it on the desk. I may cancel the meeting. I will let you know." Mishra placed the agenda sheet on the table and left.
"No need of that. Go and attend your meetings. After all, you worked very hard for it." So hard that he had to marry a liability for this.
Shivaay frowned detecting a negative tone in her voice. "Are you sure? In fact, why don't you come along."
"Shivaay, I am not a glass doll to break if you are not around," she put it nice and straight, "I have to learn being by myself so why not start now?"
"Why are you talking like this all of a sudden? That's why I get worried."
"You don't need to be. I want to care for myself from now on."
He stood up from his chair to walk near her. She stood up from hers and showed him a hand. "You must be getting late." She handed him the agenda before making her way out of the cabin.
"Gosh, she is so mad," he spoke to himself, "Until I clear things from my end, she won't be normal."
***
Meet me at the poolside.
A notification pinged in her cell. She saw Shivaay's name popping up. There was no further interest left. She recalled the time she used to be on the seventh cloud by a single touch of his. How silly it was. She let herself have a crush on him, felt good when he did a small thing for her, or felt hurt for petty issues. To love him. She set him on a pedestal and when the pedestal under his feet broke, it crushed only her. Only if she suppressed the attraction from the beginning, she won't suffer the heartbreak at the end.
Surprise for you
She smiled pitifully. After the shock she received, there could be no surprise.
I have something for you too.
Great. Will meet you at 7.
She gripped the papers Mr. Kapoor got her tightly. He was Harsh's lawyer and friend. Sure, he was worried for Annika when she first asked him to urgently make the papers nevertheless did it for the sake of old friendship. She now realized how rude she was to Mr. Kapoor but she couldn't help. Some of Shivaay's habits were printed on her like a permanent color.
She took out a pen and the deal papers from her handbag as well. She signed on the new set of papers she got. Shivaay's signs were remaining.
***
Shivaay paced to and fro at the poolside all excited for the evening to come. He smiled. At least tried to. He was all set with Annika's favorite Chinese in the small table for two. He was hoping for all things positive. He took out some papers from the inner sleeves of his tux. His copy of the deal signed with Harsh six months ago. He planned to shred them tonight. Only after letting Annika know. It no longer mattered so they weren't needed either. He didn't know if it was a good idea to be honest in this case. He only knew that these deal papers made him feel guilty and Annika insecure. He wasn't able to assure Annika as long as he felt guilty. Destroying them was the best solution for his personal life to run smoothly.
He turned back to see Annika coming. She looked different. More confident than she actually was. Her eyes lacked emotions. He searched for any tear stains on her cheeks. He couldn't find any. Or they were hidden by heavy makeup. He noted a paper in her hand. He gripped his set of papers tighter still unsure if his idea was the best.
"I have all the answers to your questions. I am sorry I couldn't say anything all day. I was scared. Worried. I feared you would assume anything and— Anyways, I do realize that if I explain to you properly, you would understand. I want to do things the right way. Trust me, after tonight you won't have any complaints."
"Agreed. After tonight, there will be no complaints."
Shivaay frowned. He wasn't sure what she meant. As is, he was too impatient to put forth his side of the story in front of her. "Come," he pulled a chair for her. Annika showed him a hand. He stood straight and looked at her quizzically.
"I got the answer to my questions myself," she mouthed. He came closer to her and held the side of her elbows. She freed herself from his embrace. Shivaay sighed. This was expected. Her mood did not change a bit. He hoped he could do that. Only if she let him.
"I wanted to talk to you about that only. Sit," he signed at the seat She shook her head putting forth the set of papers in her hand.
"What is this?" he picked them up without looking at its content.
"Your freedom," she replied, "You don't have to do this anymore. You will get everything you want without putting this act with much effort."
He sighed heavily, "What are you saying?" he finally looked at the first set, the divorce papers. She even signed them. "What is this? Is it some sort of a joke to you?" he knew she was hurt. He sympathized with her as much as he could. But this was not done. The previous separation haunted him still. He recalled the sleepless nights, lonely days, and hours of stalking. If he couldn't handle being away from her for seven days, he will be a lifeless soul if she went away from him forever.
"Truth. You don't have to do this forever—"
"I want to."
"You only want this," she slid the divorce papers to reveal the deal papers. He was shocked to see them with her. He glanced at his copy lying on the opposite end of the table and realized she must have found Harsh's copy from the latter's cabin.
"You know. I mean it's not like I wanted to hide this matter any longer. I had decided to tell you tonight but I couldn't. I never wanted things to come in front of you like this," he spoke fast, his nervousness increasing second by second.
"When exactly?" she asked in a stern tone, "You could have told this to me before we married and we would figure out something. You could have told me in these five months. You could have told me this morning when I asked. If you told me by yourself, I would have listened. Since you couldn't tell, so I had to accept that all the chatters on our marriage are true. Look, Shivaay, I don't want you to be stuck in a marriage you don't want. Don't worry. You will always have Kabeer Industries' backing and I will help you personally as well. You don't have to be a dutiful husband when you don't actually mean it."
"Shut up Annika," he hit his hand on the table. He wanted to rip the papers. He snatched them from her hand. "Shivaay!" she held his hand, "I know now. I assure you, you won't have any problem. In fact, see this," she turned the papers to page five and pointed at 134th clause, "I crossed this out. You can divorce me and if you want, you can have compensation too."
"I said shut up," he interrupted her, "I can't live without you. And that's why you have to stay with me. You want it or not." He turned insane in moments. His mind stopped working properly. Annika took his care for granted. Couldn't she see how much he wanted her around these days? He had been after her all day long. He even overcame his fear and was ready to tell her about the deal. She, in place of trusting him, spied Harsh's cabin, came across a set of papers and decided to end the relationship.
"I know it's not a petty manner. I and Papa should have told you about this from the beginning. I know you are hurt. But, Annika, ending the relationship for this is not a very mature thing to do," he tried to regain composure. He could see himself failling every minute of it.
"I can't live like this. Neither should you have to. I would still be okay if this was an arranged marriage. But it's not. Business is invested here. I don't want my marriage to base on money and property. Moreover, you will never be able to love me. You will stay in this marriage just for the sake of a deal. I would rather have you as a friend and business partner without getting emotions involved." Only she knew how she was saying this. She already had her emotions invested in the relationship. It was true blue love. Nothing more, nothing less. So much love that she won't feel the same for any other man in years to come. Yet, she was ready to take this step. Only so that he can live his life without any pretension.
"Why are you doing this?" he whisper-asked.
"Why can't you do this?" she asked a question instead.
"Because you are a fool I cannot live without." He ripped the divorce papers apart. She couldn't dare to leave him. He wanted to scare her this one time. Annika gasped. She took out another set of signed papers and placed them in front of him. He fumed in anger and disappointment. This girl learned a lot from him. No problem. He would rip them too.
"If you are planning to tear these papers, I can ask Kapoor uncle to make extra copies. Don't worry," she informed him in advance.
"You know what, I am so done with you," he stared at the new set of papers she got him in disbelief. "Do whatever you want to do," he enunciated, "but don't blame me for what I do next." He meant each word he said. This time, there was no going away from him. He won't let her.
"You want to go, right? Pack your bags and leave."
"There you go. You accepted it so easily that you want me to leave," her voice trailed just like the tears on her cheek.
"Yes, you were right and I want you to leave. The red bag, right? The same bag you threatened to leave with twice. 'I will leave. I will leave' The same stupid threat every time something goes wrong. Third time is the charm. Leave!"
Her tears bothered him a lot. He didn't bother to wipe them. He won't anymore. She would learn by herself. He would ensure she did. He wasn't letting her leave him. That was sure.
"Fine! If that's what you want," she left without looking back again. She wanted this. He didn't say a word. Still a piece of her heart was broken. Broken and could not be mend again. She didn't know she would live without having him around, without hearing his voice every day, without feeling him beside her every night, or without hugging him when she felt bad. He won't be stuck with a woman he could not love and that's what mattered to her.
Precap: Shivaay descended downstairs with a bag in his hand. Seeing a worried Kalyani, he motioned towards the temple area. She walked closer to him asking, "What is happening, Billu? Why was Annika crying? She left with a bag. What did you do?"
Seeing Shivaay with his best smile on, she was more shocked, "Why are you smiling?"
"Dadi, she had tears of happiness. We are leaving and we won't return before next month. Take care of yourself. I will call every once in a while."
"Going? Where?"
"Honeymoon," he replied.