I sat in the back of the room and everyone couldn't help but turn their heads to me. Camila sat in the seat next to me and I just stayed stiff. I couldn't really relax around her at her the moment. I couldn't relax around anyone.
"Thanks for calling me back, Lauren." Ally sarcasticly spoke to the tall Cuban.
I just tried to enjoy my last moments of these pills before my body began to ache again. I put my head down on the table and let out a sigh.
"What did you two do to y/n?" Dinah asked. I could hear her get closer to me. "Lil' Mama, are you okay?"
I looked up to her with the fakest smile I could, "Yeah. I'm okay. Just not feeling the best."
"What happened last night, Lauren?" Ally asked not letting go of her grudge.
I looked to Lauren and gave her a look to say, 'it won't matter to me if you tell them'. Her gaze left me and looked to Camila, "Ask Mila. It's none of my business."
Camila looked down at her hands in her lap, "Nothing." A tear dripped onto the table.
"We need to know Camila. He threatened all of our careers. This involves all of us." Ally said to the tiny girl.
"Lauren, just tell them." I muttered "Tell them what I let happen."
"You didn't let it happen, y/n. He did it." Lauren retorted.
"Just say it, and stop fighting." Dinah yelled rubbing my back.
Lauren took a breath and put her phone upside down on the table. "I told y/n to stay at home. I came by the house to check to make sure she was there, and she was already at the hotel. And she was fucked up when I called her on the phone. Way worse than I've ever heard her. Maybe even worse than she could've been that one night you found her at that party."
"How many pills did you take?" Ally asked me with her motherly voice.
I mumbled my reply, "Just 4."
"You took 40 milligrams of Percocet?!" Ally was furious. "What if you could've O.D.ed?"
"Well, I didn't." I replied shortly.
"Anyways," Lauren broke into the conversation again. "After I got done talking to you, Ally, I made it to the room and they didn't answer the door. So, I was really worried. It took like 2 minutes for Camila to answer it." As Lauren told the story, I pictured the moments I experienced during the time Lauren was outside the room. I couldn't help but start shaking, "I could hear y/n scream for help in the other room, but Camila refused to let me in. I finally pushed through when I heard her scream Camila's name at the top of her lungs."
Dinah pulled me in a hug as Ally started crying, "Y/N, he raped you?"
I just looked over to Camila, "I knew you heard me. You just ignored me. I knew it." My voice was cracking and I couldn't stop tearing up.
"I was trying to get her to leave so I could come back, y/n." Camila begged trying to get me to understand.
"You said when I called, you would come back. He hurt me, Mila. YOU PROMISED ME AND YOU LET HIM KEEP GOING!" I yelled back harshly.
"Stop fighting you two. This isn't going to help anyone." Normani interrupted us.
I pulled away from Dinah's embrace and started to walk out of the door, "Please don't leave me, y/n." Mila begged.
I turned around to look at her with tears streaming down, "I'm not. I just need to get some air."
Simon walked in front of me with his famous frown, "Hello, y/n. Nice to see you."
"Yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes as I pushed passed him to go to the entrance of the staircase to climb up the stairs. I like escaping from the girls up to the roof sometimes. Mostly because their management office is one of the biggest buildings in L.A., so the view is absolutely breath taking. Once I opened the door entrance to the top, I felt the fresh California air hit my skin. It was something I loved and longed for the past few months on the road. The sun kissed my tan, visible skin. I felt the warmth bundle me up quickly. I walked over to the ledge of the building to look down at the small world below me. I felt indestructible.
Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind as I saw people pass through the streets. It always intrigued me to see people and think about what their stories could be. I wonder if people ever look at me and wonder what my story is. I wonder what their first impressions are when they see me. I sat on the ledge with my legs hanging off knowing that no one could see me all the way up here but I was able to watch them from above. It was almost like a I was a guardian.
"Don't jump!" I heard from behind me.
I shook my head knowing who it was. "You wish." I smirked.
Her green eyes were glowing in the light. "No, I don't."
"What do you want, Lauren?" I asked getting away from the ledge and sitting on a cinder block so she would feel more comfortable to get closer to me.
"We are going to go downstairs to finish our meeting about you and Mila, then I'm taking you to get a tattoo or piercing. But we have to be quiet about it." Lauren smiled.
"I'll go to get my present, but not to that god damn meeting." I said with a strict tone.
"They are telling Simon about what happened." Lauren walked closer to me
"And that should make me feel better?" I frowned in her direction.
"They are trying to get him to allow you and Camila to come out now." Lauren kneeled in front of me.
"I'm mad at her right now, Laur. I really don't care what they are or aren't trying to do."
"She was telling the truth. She begged me to leave because she needed to get back to you, babe." Lauren brushed my hair out of my face.
"She could've just let you in and came to stop him, Laur. I begged him to get off of me and he wouldn't. He bruised my hips by clutching them so tightly. I have scratches on my lower back. All memories of being left alone." I tried to contain my sadness the best I could.
Lauren kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes, "She really did try, Mija. I promise you. She's beating herself up over it right now. She thinks you want to end your relationship because she allowed it to even happen in the beginning. I don't think you understand how lost she is right now at the thought of you being gone."
I just looked at her. Speechless and emotional. I leaned in close to press my lips to hers. She gave into the kiss, but then quickly retreated after a few seconds into the moment. "We can't. You told me you couldn't be with me, y/n. I need to let go of my emotions for you."
I nodded, "I'm sorry. I was just,"
"wanting to feel something to make you forget the past? I've been there." Lauren finished my sentence getting it complete right.
"You won't tell Camila?" I asked.
She shook her head, "Not if you don't want me to. Plus, I don't want to see her in any more pain than she already is." Lauren admitted licking her lips and extending her hand. "Please come to the meeting. This may be what you've been waiting for."
I rolled my eyes and nodded grabbing her hand and walking back to the meeting room.
Everyone looked at us once Lauren pushed me into the room. I got in my chair and scooted close to Camila. Her frown faded a little once she saw that I wasn't as upset anymore. Even though I still was. "Glad you could come back and join us." Simon quipped. I just sat in silence. He leaned back in his chair with arms crossed, "I was just told about what happened last night. I'm very sorry." His British accent made him sound bitchier than usual.
"Why are you sorry? Are you the one who raped me?" I bit back. Simon and I haven't always had a good relationship. Some days we got along, but we always had bitchy moods on the same days which caused us to clash.
"Stop, y/n." Ally yelled to me giving me daggers.
"It's okay, Ally." Simon smiled, "She needs to get her anger out. Now, it wasn't right for Austin to do that to you, and after this tour I can assure you we won't be associated with him anymore."
I rolled my eyes. "Good, but that's not what I want to hear. I want an apology from that ass wipe."
"We can't do that, y/n. This happened on your personal time with him. It has nothing to do with the business of the girls and the tour." I could tell Simon was slightly upset about the topic which was weird because he doesn't really have emotions. "I'm sorry but he has to do this on this own."
I just shook my head, and Camila put her hand out to hold mine. I interlocked our fingers together and began rubbing the back of her hand with my fingertips. "What about us being together, Simon? I don't want this to happen again. I want to be honest about everything now." Camila asked in a innocent voice.
He shook his head, "No can do. You know the deal, Camila."
She started to get mad as I felt her heat up a little, "That's not fair. The deal is off. Austin and I are broke up."
"But your album isn't out yet. We are not going to ruin this by allowing a controversy to start." Simon said stacking a few papers together on the desk.
"Controversy? Our relationship is not controversial, Simon." I roared back.
He smirked at my bitchiness, "It is at the moment. We need to perserve their innocence until this album is released."
"Innocence? They haven't ever been innocent. Okay maybe Ally, but that's because she's a prude." I joked but stayed stern.
"Watch it, y/n!" Mama Ally warned me.
"You only have a little over a month, y/n. You can and will keep your mouth shut or we will have to restrain your privileges from Camila and the girls. I know you understand what I'm saying, and that's the end of this." Simon huffed getting up, and collecting the papers in front of him. He looked back before exiting the meeting room, "All of you need to get some sleep in your hotel and meet in the lobby at 2 am in the morning to board the bus. And y/n, don't push me."
I pushed my hair out of my face and Lauren tapped on my shoulder, "We need to go, now. I gotta be able to get back and call my family to settle some things."
"Where are you going, babe?" Camila asked still shook up about the mess that just happened.
I got up slowly from my chair, to not agitate my side, and half smiled before pecking Camila's lips, "I have to go help her run an errand really fast. It won't take too long."
Ally frowned, "This is really no time to be driving around L.A. We need to discuss this, and not just bury it."
I nodded, "And we will, but this is important so we'll be back soon."
Lauren grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the glass room, into the elevator, and down the building to get into a black Dodge Rental.
It only took about 15 minutes until we entered the Tattoo parlor. The guy smirked when he saw Lauren, "Jauregui, it's been ages!" He got up to reveal that he was strikingly broad, but muscular enough. His muscles were tatted down with complete sleeves leaving no room for a new canvas. He smiled at me, "Is this y/n?" I nodded. "Cool, I'm Jack." He extended his hand and I gripped it. "I did Lauren's dragonfly tattoo, and pierced her nose. She always promised she'd come back to get tatted again, but I haven't seen her in a while."
She laughed, "Sorry, J. Touring and contracts cause me to miss out on new experiences."
"It's cool, what can I help you with?"
"I want to get her a tattoo or piercing. Or both depending on how chicken she is." Lauren raised her eyebrows to me.
I smiled, "I'm not chicken, but I'm not gonna let you pay for a tattoo and piercing. You only said one."
She laughed, "Well, I'm gonna spoil you instead."
I shook my head, but Lauren insisted. The guy looked at me and smiled, "Do you know what kind of piercing and tattoo you want?"
"Can I have a few minutes to think it over?" I asked and he smiled before walking to the back of the building.
"What do you wanna get?" Lauren poked my arm.
"Do you think Mila would be mad if I got a lip ring?" I smirked.
She nodded, "A lot madder than if you got a nose piercing."
"What about a septum?" I laughed looking at the pictures on the wall.
"She'd kill me for even bringing you here, so the septum would be pretty bad."
I frowned, "Fine, I'll get the regular nose piercing."
She smirked, "Good, now what about the tattoo? You gonna get Camila's name tatted on your thigh?"
I shook my head, "We fight too much to have her name permanently imprinted on my skin." I thought about it for a second. "I kinda wanna put something behind my ear. Ya know, like Justin Bieber did?"
She nodded, "So, you want something small?"
"Yeah, something that Camila can't bitch about too much. At least for right now." I smirked at Lauren knowing she understood. "Maybe a waxing crescent of the moon."
She looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed, "Why that?"
"'Cause everyone always calls me sunshine, but I usually feel pretty dark like the moon."
"Wow, that's fucking deep, y/n. You ready?" She smiled. I nodded hesitantly. "Aye, Jack. You're on."
--
The tattoo and nose piercing didn't hurt that bad. In fact, it almost tickled. I guess it's because my pain tolerance has kicked up to unbelievable levels since the only thing on my mind is my side nowaways.
The tattoo was red and hurt to touch it, but it looked amazing. Just a black crescent moon behind my ear. Small enough to not be a big deal to Camila, although it would be anyways.
We walked into the hotel, and after arriving to our floors, Lauren and I split up so she could call her family and settle some issues that were happening, and so I could go show off my new look to Camila. I slid my key card and after the light flashed green, I hurried to open the door and see Camila scrolling on her phone. She looked up to me and her eyes widened.