Sunday March 28th, Bahrain.
In a foul mood, Seb tutted and rolled his eyes before setting his gaze back on his tearful wife. He didn't need this. His weekend couldn't have gone much worse with an unlucky qualifying session that had seen him hampered by yellow flags, a penalty given to him by the stewards for ignoring the said double yellow waved flags and then a tricky race today that had seen him make contact with Ocon's Alpine and then receive another penalty from the stewards. Walking away with five points on his license instead of championship points was not what he wanted nor had planned for and Chloe in her usual hormonal, pregnant state had found the whole weekend upsetting and stressful. "For fucks sake Chloe, enough of the tears, I really don't need it." He muttered angrily while looking around the room for something he could throw.
She looked up at him while trying to stop herself from crying, her breaths hitched and unsteady. "I'm sorry, I just feel so sad for you, you've no idea how hard it is......"
"Sad for me?!" He rose his voice, starting to pace around the small room.
Chloe started to feel a sense of deja-vu; it was like Canada all over again, only that time she'd been able to offer herself to him for some 'stress relief', this time she really didn't feel like she could do that, not at twenty-one weeks pregnant with twins.
"Sad at me more like!" He yelled again, making her jump.
"What? No! Of course not.....I just feel bad for you, I know how you wanted this weekend to go well, we all did." She defended herself while staying seated on the chair. Seb was pacing like a caged animal and all she could think of was Canada.
"I don't need your tears of pity, I can't be doing with your fucking hormones and you looking at me like I'm a fucking failure!" He spat, picking up his drinks bottle and hurling it towards the wall. "I can't be dealing with you crying all the damn time!"
Behind them, the door flew open and Britta scurried in looking worried, her eyes went straight to Chloe. "I heard a bang, everything ok in here?"
"What do you think?!" He snarled. "My wife's throwing me a fucking pity party so everything's fucking great!"
"Chloe, why don't you find Steve and ask him to drive you back to the hotel?" Britta had to step in. She'd never worried before but right now it felt like Seb could say or do something that he'd regret later on. He'd never reacted like this after a race, apart from Canada when he'd lost his race win and then Chloe had been able to calm him down. To her, this weekend didn't feel as bad as Canada had but yet for some reason Seb was reacting just as badly to what had happened to him.
Chloe hesitated, torn between wanting to stay with her husband and going back to the hotel to give him some space and time to calm down.
"Just go Chloe." Seb turned his back on her, feeling even worse for making her take the brunt of his anger and upset. At least if she wasn't here, then he'd have one less person to upset. He heard her rise from the metal fold out chair, take a shaky breath and then leave the room while he knew that Britta was still stood there. He could feel her eyes burning into the back of his head. He could sense that she was about to say something, about to tell him how he was wrong to yell at Chloe like he had but her tears and pitiful stare had just riled him further. "Don't Britta, just don't."
"She worries about you." She replied softly while checking her watch, aware that he still had a couple of media commitments to attend to before his de-brief meeting.
He shook his head and bent to pick up his drinks bottle from where it laid under the massage table. "She's disappointed in me." He said sadly.
"Of course she's not, she'll be disappointed for you and that's different."
He grabbed his cap and examined the colours of the German flag on the underside of the peak. Knowing that he had to present himself to the waiting the media, he put it on and trudged out of the door but not before looking at Britta. "I'm disappointed in myself so I know what her tears mean."
She could only follow him out while hoping that this wasn't the start of a major argument.
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Chloe could barely keep still as she waited for Seb to return from the circuit. To keep herself busy she'd made sure that everything was packed and ready for them to head to the airport. All Seb would have to do was, shower, change his clothes and leave. She couldn't stop taking deep breaths as the minutes ticked by. She fiddled with her hair, nibbled on her nails and kept checking her reflection in the mirror. Seb was making her nervous and she hadn't felt like that since the start of last year. She walked slowly around the room, tracing her finger along a black table, running her hand along the back of the black leather sofa and flexing her toes in the soft white carpet. The sound of the door opening made her jump and she spun round to see a tired looking Seb enter the room. She stood her ground, waiting for him to come to her and apologise, wanting him to kiss her, hug and tell her that he was ok now.
Instead, he didn't even look her way or speak. He just dumped his rucksack down on the sofa and then disappeared into the bedroom.
A little shocked at his behaviour, she looked down at her rounded tummy and blinked a few times. Was he mad at her? Had she done something wrong? Maybe he still needed time and space. She nodded to herself; yes, time and space was probably what he needed. He'd be ok after a shower and then they could head home to be reunited with their son. She reminded herself that they also had her twenty week scan to look forward to, they were going to hopefully find out the sexes of their babies and then start to think of names so even though this weekend hadn't been good to Seb, he still had plenty to look forward to.
After about ten minutes, Seb emerged from the en-suite. Although he could see his wife sitting on the bed, he tried not to look at her. He didn't want to look at anyone or speak to anyone, he just wanted to go home.
Before she'd realised what he was up to, he was ready to go and she came out of the bedroom to see him standing by the door, their cases and her hold-all beside him and his rucksack on his back. With his dark grey baseball cap pulled down low it was nearly impossible for her to see his eyes and she located her flat black pumps, slipping her feet into them while her insides churned with worry. This wasn't like Seb at all, he was closed off, silent, miserable and emitting a coolness that made her think that it was all her fault.
"Let's get out of here." It was the first words he'd said to her since he'd yelled at her earlier but she still noticed the bitter edge to his voice, his tone completely lacking in any warmth towards her whatsoever.
Opening the door, he held it open for her, allowing her to grab her bags and pull her wheelie case along behind her as she left the room. He knew that he should be apologising to her really, not giving her the silent treatment but he just wanted to be alone and he didn't want to speak anyone, especially his wife who'd probably just end up in tears again anyway. The whole weekend had been a disaster in his eyes, everything had gone wrong and it had left him seriously doubting himself and his love for the sport. Right now signing for Aston Martin and deciding to race for another year felt like a mistake. He'd let them down, he'd let his wife down and he'd let himself down.
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With the four of them safely seated into the people carrier that was driving them the short distance to the airport, Chloe looked worriedly and miserably at Britta. Maybe tomorrow she'd be able to talk some sense into Seb, maybe she'd be able to make a breakthrough with him if he was no different by then.
Seeing them offering these sad little looks to each other, his mood darkened. Once on the plane, he was going to have the privacy screen up for the entire flight. Then he wouldn't have to see the way looked at each other or the pitiful looks they kept throwing his way. He could have some time to himself and a little space to think everything over.
For Chloe, his behaviour was reminding her of when the race in Italy hadn't gone his way in 2019. She remembered all too well how she'd found him standing motionless in the shower with his hands leaning against the tiles, his eyes sad and unblinking. Back then, she'd managed to coax him out of it. She'd simply had to show him some love and it had made him come back to her. Feeling the car beginning to move and leave the hotel behind, she placed her hand on his thigh, leaving it upturned so that he could link their hands together like he always did. This time he didn't move a muscle, he didn't even look down at her hand. She left it there anyway and instead she turned it over to lay her palm against the firm muscle she could feel beneath his jeans.
This was not like Seb at all, he hardly ever ignored his wife unless they'd had a major row but as far as Britta knew, poor Chloe had done nothing wrong. She looked desperate to get through to him and was longing to have even a small scrap of his attention. Why was he being like this with her? "Seb....." She started, wanting to do something for Chloe's sake.
"Not now Britta." He muttered sternly before glumly adding, "Not ever."
Chloe's head quickly turned to look at him. Not ever. What the hell did he mean by that?!
Sophie sat beside Britta, observing what was going on. She knew that Seb could be moody at times but she'd never seen him like this. He was obviously feeling very low; she knew that his self confidence behind the wheel had taken a hit with Ferrari last year but the man she'd met in January had shown no signs of that at all. Over the winter break he'd become more rejuvenated and re-motivated, his passion for his sport had shone through but now he looked like something in him had broken and even for a tough cookie like herself, it was hard to see. She made a pact with herself that tomorrow she'd work on him mentally as well as physically.
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If Chloe had hoped that things would be better by the next morning then she was very wrong. Waking up before it was properly light to see that his side of the bed was already empty was a worry sign. Sitting up and switching the light on to discover that his rucksack had disappeared too was even more worrying. She got out of bed as quickly as she could and started to search the rooms, not caring that she was darting from room to room in just a pair of white briefs. The guest rooms were empty, his office was empty and even Luis was alone in his nursery. Trying to ignore the awful feeling in her stomach, she went downstairs and after a few minutes it became apparent that Seb wasn't here. She stood in the hallway for a moment, feeling her stomach churning and her heart thumping in her chest. His black jacket that he wore for riding his motorcycles had gone. Opening the key cabinet, the key to one of the garages was gone too and she slipped her black pumps on to go outside into the dawn, ignoring how underdressed she was. She didn't even feel the cold as she approached the garage to see the key still hanging in the lock; Seb never left keys behind like that, he was always so security conscious. The door was still unlocked as she tried the handle and she stepped inside, reaching for the light switch at the same time. As the fluorescent tubes flickered into life she could see that his Harley had gone. It felt almost like he'd left her. "Do not even think about crying." She muttered shakily to herself, upset that he'd upped and left her like that without a single word. "He'll be back later, he just needs some time to himself. He wouldn't leave me, not with three babies, he loves me and I trust him."
It still didn't stop her from rushing back into the house in fretful tears and dialling Seb's number on her mobile. When it went straight to voicemail, she quickly called Sophie. "Is he there?" She asked before a sleepy sounding Sophie could utter nothing more than a hello. "Is he with you?"
"Who? Seb?"
"Yes! Seb!" She cried as her eyes darted around the bedroom in the vain hope that he'd left her a note.
"No, at six-fifteen in the morning I'm hoping that he's with you, in bed."
"No." Her voice broke. "He's gone, he taken the Harley and his rucksacks gone too. I'm really worried about him! You saw what he was like last night!"
"You've tried calling him?"
"Yes!" She cried, getting more and more wound up. "Yes of course I've tried!"
"Ok, try and stay calm. Head back to bed and I'll keep trying to call him from my end. If he turns up here then I'll call you straight away so take your phone to bed with you."
"Yeah." She sniffed, rubbing her belly with her free hand as she felt some movement. No doubt the twins could sense her stress and she hoped that they weren't far from Seb's thoughts, wherever he was. "Ok, thanks." As she ended the call she started to shiver and it wasn't because she was cold.
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By the time midday had rolled around, she was inconsolable. Britta had arrived just after seven AM after hearing from Sophie about what was going on and like Chloe, she was trying Seb's mobile phone every few minutes. She'd rung round a few friends, even his ex Hannah and by ten AM had reluctantly called his parents in case he'd turned up in Germany but no one had heard from him.
"I'm calling the police." Chloe stated suddenly as she entered the kitchen with Luis in her arms.
Britta put her phone down, having tried to reach Seb one more time. "Personally, I wouldn't. The police won't help you, they'll say he's not been missing for long enough yet."
"You're joking?!" She looked down at Luis, thankfully he was innocently oblivious to the worry his father was causing. "He's been gone for six hours at least, maybe more than that."
"You've got to be approaching ten hours or more before they'll come out to you Chloe. All we can do is keep trying, we've got a couple of his friends driving around looking for him and others promising to call us if he turns up at any of their places. Why don't I try and fix you something to eat?"
She looked at Britta like she was mad; Seb was missing and she wanted to sort out lunch?! "I'm not hungry, I can't even think about eating until Seb gets back. Honestly......" She paused, finding her tears turning to anger. "....when he gets back he's in so much shit."
"No he won't be." Britta reasoned with her and walked over. "When he gets back you'll hug him and never want to let go. Let me take Luis for a while."
"Oh Britta." The anger quickly swung back to tears again. "We've got the scan tomorrow, what if he's not back by then? What if he misses it?"
"He won't; you know him, he won't want to miss anything. Your twins are the first in your families, there's no way he'd miss finding out the sexes." She gently took Luis into her hold and nuzzled her nose against his soft cheek. "There's no way he'd be able to stay from this little one too."
Chloe's phone made a noise in the pocket of her long black cardigan and she nearly dropped it as she yanked it out. The name on the screen surprised her, Hannah.
Britta watched closely, studying Chloe's expression for any clue as to what the message said. She looked surprised, relieved and then worried again.
"He's with her, he's at Hannah's."