After his chat with Des, Harry spent weeks thinking about what exactly his father had meant by 'moving on' . Had he meant move on from Zayn but make sure he stuck by his daughter .. his family or had he meant move on from what had happened and live like he had full faith in their relationship when he didn't? Because to him it felt like he lost either way.
But he understood where his dad was coming from. If he didn't decide what he wanted to do then in the end Zayn would walk away, most likely taking Daislee with him because he was so hurt. All this back and forth wasn't healthy for either of them, poor Zayn didn't have a clue where they stood and he deserved answers now. It's been almost ten weeks since Daislee entered their world and that was more than enough time to make his mind up. Harry knew the longer he left it the more awkward things would get. He didn't like to think about that which is why he made his decision, why he was currently crying on his train ride back to Bradford, why his heart was breaking. Because he knew what he had to do.
This was best for both of them , for their family. He had arranged for Niall and Liam to meet him half way at Manchester, finally give them the chance to meet their new niece. So as the train arrived at their station he made sure to wipe his tears and put on his mask. They didn't need to know what was running through his mind right now. Today was a special day for them and he wasn't about to ruin it.
"Haz!" Niall cheered rushing to sit in the seat opposite him. "How are ya?!"
"Im fine... Ni did you leave Li to get on by himself?" Harry laughed softly.
"Yep! I was too excited to wait around whilst he showed the tickets!" The Irish lad rambled.
"Poor lad, how he puts up with you I don't know."
"Oi! I'm a perfect boyfriend!"
Harry just hummed, smiling widely as he saw Liam finally push his way down the aisle.
"Hey Li!"
"Harold!" Liam chirped , happily taking his seat after he shoved his and Niall's bags below the table.
"What you two talking about?!"
"Just how you're a literally hero putting up with this shithead constantly!" Harry replied.
"Oh I know, I'm so not forgiving you for ditching me back there babe." Liam smirked towards Niall.
"Whyyyy! I was just excited to see ma' best mate! Let me off will ya!" Niall protested with a pout.
"Hmmm I'll see."
Harry chuckled at the pair , tears filling his eyes as he thought about the days he and Zayn would sit bantering between themselves. Not a single care in the world , how did it go so wrong?
"How's the baby? Spoke to Zayn yet?" His Irish mate quizzed snapping him out of his daze.
"She's good! Slept a whole hour extra to what she normally does so that's amazing and Zayn said she's started smiling properly this morning... like she knows he daddy is coming home." Harry sighed.
Liam frowned, reaching over to place his hand on top of Harry's. "You don't sound to happy about it all."
"M' not , I feel like I missed every single milestone apart from the day she was born and it's beyond shit mate. I just want to be with her all of the time and I don't get that, Zayn does but I don't! How is that fair?" He ranted.
"I'm sure Zayn hates you not being there H, I don't think he actually likes parenting alone, no one does!" Niall protested.
"I know that , it's just the nasty, bitter part of me thinks he loves getting her to himself like he had in the beginning of his pregnancy." Harry spoke shamefully. "How can I even think that?!"
"Because you're stressed out, because you've missed your daughter, because the person you love lied to you and now you're trying to find a way of coping. You're bound to think of some stupid shit H, no one will blame ya." Liam assured him.
"Yeah well I'm pretty sure you'll all blame when I do what I do next."
Liam and Niall stared at him in confusion.
"You're not backing out on them are you?" Niall asked in a panic.
"No! God know I'd never do that, they're my family."
"Then what?"
Harry sighed shakily, he thought he'd be able to keep it in, wait until after they'd met Daislee and he could have a few focused moments with them. But sometimes things have to be done in others ways.
"I-I had a chat with my dad... he told me that I needed to make a decision."
"Decision about what?" Niall pressed.
"About what I wanted to do... if I wanted to move on from everything and lose my family or if I wanted to fight for them and keep them with me."
"Oh! That seems like a reasonable thing to say."
"Yeah I know, it made a lot of sense. I realised that I can't forgive Zayn. I can't forgive him and if I can't forgive him then that means there is no trust." Harry whimpered, his heart breaking.
"I-I love him and I know I'm only hurting him more by dragging this out."
"Dragging what our?" Liam asked softly.
"Breaking up with him... officially breaking up."
Harry saw as Niall opened his mouth to protest but he stopped him immediately.
"I-I have to Nialler, I have to. If I don't we will both stay miserable hoping that one day I'll grow up and get over it but I can't see it happening any time soon. I'm only hurting our family more by allowing Zayn to have false hope that this'll all end in a few months."
"Oh H." Niall sighed, grabbing his best friends hand in comfort. "Are you sure? I know how much you love him mate. Do you really want to see him moving on with someone else?"
"N-no I don't want to see that. But I also know that if you love someone let them go, if they're meant to be yours they'll find there way back. No one actually knows what the future holds... they can try determine a path but only we can decide what route we take it."
"There's nothing I can say to stop you doing this is there?"
"N-no I made up my mind a week ago now. As much as it will kill me, kill Zayn. I think we both know this is exactly how it's going to end right now."
Niall wiped at his eyes , sniffling as he took in the sight of his broken friend. Liam rubbing circles into his thigh in support.
"W-what about Daislee? I thought you was moving to Bradford after this term?"
"M' still going to move, just not in with Zayn. LMA have transferred all of my remained course work over to BPA so I should be fine." Harry shrugged.
"Zayn wouldn't keep Daislee away from you though, would he?" Liam questioned in worry.
"No! Of course he wouldn't... he knows how much I love her so he'd never ever ruin the bond we have." Harry stated. "Don't worry about anything like that, he'll be just as determined to keep our family together after this as I am."
"Can you still be a family when you're not together?" Niall said in confusion.
"We will... I don't want Daislee to feel how both me and Zayn have felt after our parents split. Ever! We will make sure every birthday, every celebration we are together as a three ... and if we meet people in the future they'll eventually join too."
"God I hate this." Niall muttered.
"I don't want you two to meet other people, it'll be awkward and pure shite."
"Please just don't Niall, it's hard enough without you sticking in a shitty opinion! Just please!" Harry snapped.
"Fine, but don't blame me when shit hits the fan." The Irishman shrugged.
He knew his best friend, he knew Harry would regret this at some point in his life, maybe it'll be seconds later or maybe it'll be years. But he will regret it.
"I'm ok with it I promise... it's time to move on."
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"Are you excited to see daddy?! Oh I bet he's missed you baby sunshine!" Trisha squealed as she bounced around the living room.
Daislee had been really fussy and Zayn wasn't due back from school for another fifteen minutes so she was trying her best to keep the baby girls mood up.
"And Dede! Dede will be home any minute!"
Zayn's last exam was today, he was officially done with school and Trisha couldn't be prouder of him. He had worked so hard to get where he needed to be, and he did it all whilst pregnant and parenting a newborn! How could she not be proud?!
"Mum? I'm home! Is Haz here yet?" Zayn's voice called out.
"No sunshine! But little miss is very cranky!" She called back over Daislee's whimpers.
"How come?" Zayn panicked , rushing into the room.
"I don't know sweetie it's just one of those things I suppose. Maybe she's just missed you , here take her." Trisha offered, handing the baby over to her anxious father.
"Shhhh, why so sad Daisleedoo? I'm here baby girl, Dede's here." The sixteen year old cooed in his daughters ear.
Daislee immediately cuddled into his chest. The almost three month old was especially clingy lately so this was nothing new. Zayn's only worry was she'd be like this around Harry, not wanting to go to him as he knew that'd hurt Harry a lot.
"Daddy will be home soon, so will Uncle Niall and Liam! You need to be happy baby... happy times."
"She's had two bottles so far honey, he next one is due at half four or five depending. Maybe Harry will be here to give it to her." His mum called from the kitchen.
"I hope so, it'll give them much needed one to one time. He's missed her so much." Zayn spoke.
"Though I'm dreading him getting here."
"How come?" Trisha cooed , taking a seat next to him on the couch.
Zayn shrugged, taking in a deep breath as he pressed his lips to the top of his daughters head.
"I just- I know what's coming... we both know what's coming by this point."
"And what's that?"
"We're breaking up, it's pretty obvious."
Trisha froze , looking at her son in concern.
"W-why do you sound so casually about it?"
"Because I came to terms with it a few weeks ago... had a break down outside of school. He texted me telling me loved me .. I don't something just clicked. He can't forgive me mum, we can't have a relationship anymore." He explained voice cracking.
"Oh honey, you don't know that."
"I do , I know him... but just please prepare for me to be absolutely heartbroken ok? As prepared as I may feel right now it's still going to hurt more than anything. I love him." Zayn whispered.
"I know you do, he loves you too. Who knows , maybe someday it'll be ok yeah?"
"I can pray...but he'll probably meet someone else by the time he actually forgives me."
"Well then, if that happens , you move on too." Trisha soothed.
"You really think it'll be that easy." Zayn croaked.
"Because I'm scared that he'll love again but I won't."
"Baby boy... you'll fall in love more than once , it'll be just as beautiful and amazing as the first time and maybe even as painful... but it'll happen again. I promise you on my life. Look at me! I'm happier than I've ever been!"
"But he's my person!"
"Is he? Well if that's the case then no matter what he will always , always find his way back to you!"
"I hope so because I really can't imagine my life without him by my side. Makes cringe to even think about him standing with some other person at his side boy or girl!"
"Let's not overthink! Just if I happens we go from there! For now let's focus on Daislee yeah? "
"Wow mum, nice one now it's all I'm thinking about!" Zayn groaned.
Just as Trisha was about to reply, a knock sounded on the front door.
"It's open!" She called, not a single doubt in her mind over who it was.
"UNCLE NIALL HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING!!" An Irish accent shouted out.
"Oh wow, you ready baby girl?" Zayn snorted.
"Niall! If anyone is getting to Daislee it's me! Where's my baby girl Trish?!" Harry called in a breathy voice.
"Right in there with Z, she's a little crank today though so be warned." Trisha laughed.
He could hear as Harry got closer and he honestly couldn't help the tears that began to form along his waterline, he wanted to sob if he was being completely honest.
"Baby!" Harry voice cooed, as he rushed over to the couch. Little Daislee's eyes immediately widening at the sound as though she recognised him.
"Go to daddy baby." Zayn cooed, handing over the ten week old.
Harry's immediately began to cry, pressing kisses all over the soft crown of his daughter head. Inhaling her scent to memory as he pressed her against his chest. And to Trisha and Zayn's surprise she didn't fuss in the slightest.
"I missed you so much." Harry sobbed softly, you're so big now. "And you're smiling huh?"
"That was just this morning." Zayn spoke up, smiling softly at the scene. "Li! Niall! You can come in you know she doesn't bite."
The couple hesitantly entered the living room both melting at the sight of the father and daughter currently cuddling together.
"Look at you daddy Haz!" Niall smiled proudly.
"She's gorgeous , you did good Zayn."
"Thanks." Zayn blushed.
"She's the double of Harry though isn't she? Even down to the little dimples! It's all him." Liam smiled widely , stepping over to stroke the girls cheek.
"She's got Zayn's nose , his little eye crinkles, his skin tone, his ears... she's a good mix. Isn't that right baby girl? You're so pretty." Harry cooed, pressing his lips to her nose.
"She's perfect." Zayn agreed.
"She's missed you, hasn't let anyone other than me hold her."
Harry looked shocked at that, a sad look casting over his face. "Shit I'm sorry Z, please tell me you've managed to sleep and get things done."
"Don't worry I have, mums been amazing." Zayn assured , kissing their daughters head.
"I missed you too by the way..."
Harry paused , locking eyes with Niall and Liam who smiled sadly.
"I-I missed you more."
This was going to be the hardest thing they've ever been through.
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A/N: Happy Mondayyyyy!!!
Told you it's about to get harder! I'm sorry!!!! Don't hate me! It's all part of the plan :))
Stay safe, Lots of Love
Cara x