okay we switching back to third person now :)
John stepped one foot into the hallway leading down to that one apartment room. His read the numbers of each white door until he stopped in front of the one marked 112. His hands were trembling and his head was aching but he had to do this now. He never would've dreamed about this kind of courage he suddenly had, but it was here and now. He had to get it done. His hand formed into a fist to knock, but quickly retracted after thinking twice.
Maybe he should just walk in and make it short and sweet. If he were to knock Diane would kick him out within seconds. There wasn't any room to debate. So, Johns hand twisted the doorknob to opened up Diane's door. He thanked god that it was unlocked and stepped closer into the room. It was silent, completely empty. He wondered if she was even there. The rooms were messy, and seemed to be forgotten about. There was something off about this whole thing.
John took of his shoes in effort to make it les noisier as he walked around looking for her. He felt so bad for literally breaking in, but he had to do it. Now or never. It felt like hours had gone by of painfully slow looking. Until he got to the bedroom. Inside the slightly cracked opened door he saw Diane with her legs curled to her chest laying on her side.
Tears stained her cheeks, as well as mascara. Her eyes were red, and puffy. But she was asleep, or so John could see. His a small creek he opened the door wider and walked in, seating himself on the bed next to her legs. Her eyes fluttered open immediately, she must've been such a light sleeper. Her eyes couldn't make out that quickly who it was, but after a couple seconds....she bolted up with anger.
"John. What the hell?" She asked pulling on her shirt and smoothing her hair down. Tears still seemed to be coming down from her eyes. John felt the need to cry with her, but he needed to be strong for this. But, he really wanted to just break down.
"Diane. Listen to me..." John started choking on his words immediately, "No! No, get out right now. I don't wanna hear it, go!" Diane shrieked obviously with a sore throat. John closed his eyes with regret and ran his hands through his hair.
"Please! Diane, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. If I could go back to the very first night I met you, and do this all over again I would! Please just stay, don't go. Don't make me go, please." He was at a loss for words. Almost crying himself, tears welled up in his eyes watching the love of his life get more broken with every second.
"No!" Her voice cracked immensely, "go away. I'm serious, whatever you have to say won't change anything." Diane was barely audible with her dry throughly and blurry tear filled vision.
"I know! I know that now. Please, listen. I love you, I love you so much. There isn't any girl I'd ever say that to but you. I couldn't imagine a life without you, Diane," he gave up his strong suit and let one tear out, "I've never said that to any girl ever. I- I need you to wake up and know that I love you. I always will." John said pulling her wrists to him softly. Diane wanted to pull away, but couldn't bring herself to.
"John. It isn't that I don't love you. It's that I do. Every time I tell myself I love you, it ends up falling to nothing. I can't—" she was cut off, "you can! I won't do anything to hurt you and I realize that now. I'm so sorry, for everything. I'm an asshole, an idiot, I'm the worst boyfriend ever. But, if you just stay with me. I'll do anything and everything to make you happy." John said pulling her closer and closer with every heartfelt word.
"I don't know, I can't. I don't know if I can. I just....I love you. I really do, and I know you do. But, you don't realize that I've lost my trust in you." Diane tried to keep her tears in, but failed miserably. John bit his lip to conceal his sadness, but it wasn't working.
"Please. Just once more. I can't live without you, I won't live without you. I'll- I'll....." John was at a loss for words. Diane could feel his pain within the shaking of his hands intertwined with hers. But she couldn't trust him. She wanted to, but she couldn't.
"John....I can't. Okay, I can't." She said firmly trying to end this conversation before it got worse. Her head was pounding, and once side was telling her to stay with him and the other was telling her he'll just hurt her once again. It was overwhelming for her. John looked around for some idea. Something to show her that he wanted her more than anything. But, what can he do? What could he possibly do? Diane had made it clear she wasn't buying it and John didn't know what to say. But as all the thoughts flooded into his head. The memories of him and this once girl. The mornings with her, she hugs, the songs. The kisses, the compliments. Everything just clicked into place perfectly.
"Diane I have to ask you something." John whispered out. With her head in her hands she shook it vigorously, "no! No, no more I don't wanna hear it." Diane ordered with a cool tone. John wanted to just melt away. Into nothing. Diane wanted to know why she couldn't make this work.
"Please...."
"No! No, why John? Why can't we just be normal?" Diane yelled with distress.
"Because we're not normal. That's the thing. I don't wanna be normal I wanted to be with you!" God, make this work. Help this guy win over the girl of his dreams before she finds someone else. He wouldn't ever be the same without her. He'd stop playing music without her, he'd stop being himself without her. Hell, he'd stop living without her. So, with once last breath in. He bit the bullet and asked these five words.
"Diane. Will you marry me?"
A/N: okay that's the end of this book hehehehe. okay tell me what you thought. this book took 5 months to write. sheesh. anyways love you all and im making a sequel soon! love love love you 😍