𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋, john taylor

DEJA VU

"And well....now I'm here." Diane finished her abnormally detailed story to John. He was listening closely trying to find almost everything out. But he wasn't listen to the story. All he could think about was how he ended things with her and it haunted him really. But, it's not like he could bring it up. It would be weird and they were just old friends now. They didn't have the chemistry that was so strongly held between them. John looked into her eyes....knowing that sparkle she had. It sent shivers down his spine.

John wanted to say something to her about New Years but that would upset her. That's the last thing he wanted to do...come off like an asshole. He wanted to let her know that he was different now. He wanted her to know that he was sorry. John just stayed put looking at her. Diane waited patiently for John to say something to her, but he just awkwardly stared into her eyes. They were like two pieces of blue ice, and now he just noticed they had a hint of green in them. Could she get any more perfect? John thought to himself with a sigh. He knew it was over, but he really didn't want it to be.

"Are you alright?" Diane softly asked him. John fell out of his daze and snapped back into reality. God he felt so stupid, he'd ruined her image of him once again. He's so so stupid.

"Yes, sorry. I was uh, just thinking." John tried to cover himself. It obviously failed, but Diane didn't say a thing. She was trying herself not to fall into a trance as well. The two were in a terrible position, they both wanted to be together but just didn't know it truly. Diane carelessly set her glass down and let out a heavy "what next" sigh. John didn't know what to say honestly.

"You're hairs different too..." John trailed off sounding rather stupid and just careless. Diane put a smile on her face. She missed when John aimlessly spoke about things, it made her laugh and she hadn't truly laughed in awhile.

"Yeah...I guess it is." Diane softly spoke looking to the ends of her shorter, dark brown hair. John cleared his throat at the awkward silence. It seemed as if they'd already talked about everything needed to be talked about. John wanted to just stand on the tables and tell Diane he still loved her even more than before. But he would make a fool of himself and that's the last thing he wanted to do. But it's like he couldn't stop himself from bringing something up. He couldn't let what he had done win over him and leave him with guilt the rest of his life.

"Can I talk to you....about something important? I know it's the last thing you want to hear but it's killing me..." John asked carefully and slowly. It took a lot out of him to ask this question but he did it. Diane felt a little uneasy, what could he possibly want to talk about? A simple nod is all she gave, but she was starting to wonder if she should've said no.

"About...New Years. I- I really didn't—"

"John...it's really alright. It was a long time ago, it's really not a big deal anymore." Diane cut him off not wanting to hear one word about that terrible terrible night. It left her wanting to cry...and she never wanted to speak about it. Especially, with John of all people.

"No, Diane. I really want to talk about it. I have so many things I wanted to tell you—" John tried to start the conversation back up but it left Diane becoming angry.

"John, I really don't want to talk about it. If you could just save it?" Diane said tapping her nails against the counter annoyed. John gulped cautiously. He needed to just tell her. If she wanted to or not she was gonna near it. Straightening his spine, John spoke again.

"Look, wether you want to talk about it or not I have to. I didn't mean to yell like that..."

"John! I don't have to talk about anything with you. It was a year ago, it's over. Now stop talking about it!" Diane raised her voice ever so slightly. She was definitely angry, she hated even thinking about that night. But John wasn't gonna give up that easily. There was no stopping John at this point.

"I'm gonna talk about it! Now listen, you need to hear this and you need to hear it now..."

"John your an asshole, just when I thought you changed. There's no changing you. You think you can get everyone to do whatever you want!" Diane huffed before beginning to walk out of the bar. It wasn't like her to do this...but John could just be so irritating. Something about this was unsettling.

"If you would just listen..." John ran out after her feeling a wave of deja vu. Diane kept her walk strong and didn't turn to look back. John was fed up, he had to get it out somehow and if this is the way he had to do it. Than he'll just have to do it this way.

"Diane...I love you." John spit out those three words which could really change someone's life. For some reason, it's like Diane switched into someone new when he said that. There's no way he actually just told her that. It made her want to smile...she couldn't believe he felt the same way she did.