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January 30
Aira's
Sitting down on the couch in front of an angry-looking Jungkook, I picked at the imaginary lint on the blanket over my legs to avoid looking at his face. He had just gotten back from the office and he wasn't too psyched about the news he received from the security guard downstairs.
"I explicitly told you not to go out,"
"The coffee shop is so close, I didn't think it would be an issue," I said quietly.
"You could have gotten hurt," he sighed, clearly annoyed. "Do you know how much your brother worries about you?"
Don't you worry about me too?
"I didn't think Taehyung would be there," I mumbled.
"Are you an idiot? I clearly told you that you're a target," he hissed.
My eyes shot up at him. "Don't call me an idiot,"
The fiery blaze in his black eyes drilled a hole in mine. "Why not?" he asked, standing up.
I stood up too, offended. "Because i'm not one, you ass!"
"I'm an ass?" he scoffed, taking a step closer.
"You've always been an ass."
"And you've always been a pain in the ass," he said back, voice deep and serious.
Always?
My hard facial expression wavered for a moment but I straightened my spine again, staring into his eyes with determination to win this argument.
"Well, you know what Jungkook? No one told you to get involved with me. No one told you to run after me when I'm in trouble." I said, hands balled into fists. We were close now. Too close.
"Yeah, you're right. It was all a waste of my time anyway," Jungkook said.
Are you f*cking serious?
My heart tore and I looked at him incredulously. "A waste of time? Leading me on was a waste of your time? Then why did you do it?!" I pushed his chest angrily, hurt by his words.
He stumbled back one step before regaining his balance. Dark pupils stared at me, hardened with no expression.
"Felt bad for you," he said with a slight shrug but for a moment it almost looked like he didn't mean to say that from the look in his eyes.
I scoffed at him, an incredulous chuckle leaving between my lips. "I really f*cking hate you." I shoved him harder and stormed into the guest room.
I needed to leave. It was humiliating living with him. He pretended to care for me and he led me on because he pitied me? To think I sought comfort in him. I was so frustrated with myself for still not meaning it when I told him I hated him. I didn't hate him, even after everything. It felt like I was betraying myself.
I started to angrily pack my clothing into their bags, huffing and puffing. I was scared to leave, knowing that Yoongi might be looking for me. Maybe Taehyung told Yoongi about my whereabouts and he was waiting outside for me. Despite all that, I was going to leave. I was too far into the action to not complete it. The dangers of pride or maybe stubbornness.
I was almost done shoving my things into the suitcase when my door creaked open and Jungkook was standing there, releasing a sigh.
"What the hell are you doing?"
I looked at him angrily. "I'm going back home,"
"Aira-"
"I know, I know. Yoongi is waiting somewhere for me to do something stupid so he can snatch me away," I said before he could say anything.
He stepped into the room and firmly gripped my hands to stop them from zipping the suitcase up. His touch sent a ripple of chills throughout my body and as much as my brain was telling me to rip away from his grasp, I didn't.
"Stop," he said, staring at me.
"It's all too much," I said, voice weak. "I still don't understand anything and you won't tell me the full story,"
Jungkook's jaw twitched and his eyes hardened. "Look, the details don't matter-"
"But they do," I said, looking in his eyes. "You can't just keep me in the dark and expect me to abide with everything you tell me to,"
"It's a lot to take in," he sighed, releasing my hands and running a hand through his dark hair.
"I can handle it." I insisted.
He turned his head away, seeming set on not telling me anything. I tugged at the fabric of his clothing. "Jungkook, please."
He stood there for a moment, contemplating if he should tell me. Then, he finally nodded. "Alright, sit down,"
I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him to begin telling me. He opened his mouth to speak but the loud ring of his phone ripped the words right out before they could make a sound. My shoulders dropped in frustration as he answered the call.
"Now?" He questioned and then listened to the person on the other line speak. Finally, he hummed affirmatively and hung up.
He has to go.
"Emergency at work," he said, starting to rush to the door.
I followed him to the main door as he put on his coat. Before he exited, he took a look at me. "I'll tell you about it tomorrow," he said.
I nodded, obviously disappointed.
"And, Aira," he began to say, voice a little softer.
I looked at him questioningly.
"I didn't mean what I said earlier," he said, followed by one last look at me before he exited.
I don't like how much relief I felt with those simple words. For all I knew, he could've been lying. But for my own sanity, I chose to believe him.
—[❈]—
January 31
Jungkook came home in the morning, just before I woke up. I planned on waiting for him to come back to his apartment the night before so we could pick up where we left off but little had I known that he would be out the whole night doing god knows what. After waiting for hours watching boring TV channels, I fell asleep.
I slowly lifted my eyelids, yawning like a cat after a fulfilling nap. I sat up, looking around. The TV was off now and there was a blanket draped over my body. I took a moment to secretly appreciate the gesture by Jungkook, forgetting about our argument.
It's one of many. Nothing special.
I freshened up and entered Jungkook's room. He was sitting on his bed lazily, massaging his leg a little as if it were sore. His eyes met mine as I stood at the doorway, wondering when he returned.
"Let's finish yesterday's conversation," I said instead of asking him if he's alright or when he came back.
"Right to the point," he noted lowly, moving to the small coffee table and taking a seat on one of the couches. He gestured for me to sit in front of him and then when I did, he grabbed a notepad that was sitting on the surface of the table along with a pen. He slid it toward me.
"Write your questions down," he said, voice quieter than usual.
"You want me to write it down?" I questioned, eyebrow raised.
He nodded, rolling his shoulders back for relief. "Yeah, I'll write down my answers for you, my head hurts."
I kept my eyes on him for a moment and then let out a breath. "Alright." I sighed, beginning to write.
1. What's the actual conflict between you and those at the GoldenEye company?
2. Why does Namjoon have to pretend to be dead?
3. What does Yoongi want from you?
I glanced up at him from the notepad to see him sitting with his eyes closed. His body looked tense. I looked back down at the paper and hesitantly wrote.
4. You told me once that being with you is risky, that i'd be surprised of the things you've done. What did you do?
5. Are you okay?
I was gonna scribble over the last question but he snatched the paper and the pen from my hands. "Times up."
"I wasn't told there'd be a time limit."
"You're being told now," Jungkook said and I huffed, looking away.
"I'll be back," I said emerging from my seat and heading for the washroom. I didn't want to be there when he answered question 5. I spent a couple of minutes simply just staring at my reflection blankly.
When I returned, Jungkook was almost done writing already which made me question the authenticity of his answers. He slid the notepad to me and crossed his arms.
1. We beat them, they hate us. It's that simple. They tried to dig up any dirt they could on us to bring us down.
2. Turns out they're not bad at digging. They have stuff on your brother. It's not my place to tell you what.
3. To either kill me or send me away for a while. All because he's upset about what happened to their company and the CEO.
4.
5. Yes.
I looked up at him. "You skipped one."
"I don't wanna talk about that one."
"Fine," I said after a stretch of silence. I was frustrated but I focused on the ones he did answer.
"Is it so serious that they would want you dead?" I asked him.
"They blame us for their CEO's death,"
"But.. why?"
"It's complicated." His face tightened.
"Jungkook," I said, frustration about to start building up.
Jungkook looked away for a moment. "You really wanna know?"
I leaned forward on the table and nodded. "Yes."
He swallowed and then made eye contact with me. His eyes were darkened with his indecipherable gaze. "You sure?" he asked me.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What is it? Tell me."
I was growing impatient while at the same time, nervousness was brewing in my stomach. Why did he seem so reluctant? I stared at him, waiting. I was finally getting the answers I had been searching for since my life tangled with his. Was this him finally opening up to me?
Despite the gloomy mood around him, I was just a little happy that he was starting to talk about it. He was going to open up to me. Of course, he didn't mean all the harsh things he said. I sure as hell didn't mean the things I said.
Maybe this would be the first step to him getting closer to answering question number four— the one he left blank. I had told him that I wouldn't wait for him but the truth is that I would. Pathetic and desperate of me but, I really would if it meant being his. I suppose I never quite let it sink it; just how much I felt for him. My feelings were deep for him, I realized every time our eyes locked for too long.
Someday when he would answer number four, I know it would all be okay. There was nothing that he could say he has done in the past that would change how I felt about him.
Nothing.
"Jungkook, tell me," I urged softly.
'Nothing', I had said.
"I killed him."
Oh.