(A/N: IMPORTANT NOTE – PLEASE READ! So you’ll have to know about this – the * by Sal’s name means it’s not really her. Maranda has kidnapped her and taken her place, but no one else in the story knows it. (Sal: this is called dramatic irony, it’s where the audience knows what’s going on but the characters don’t. Scary thought, I’m actually learning in English. Why the heck did I fail then!?) I hope you actually read this; otherwise you’ll be very confused. Sal also wrote this with me, too.)
--Time Waster # 42--
*THE NEXT DAY – AT SCHOOL*
*Sal: *Walks up to the others* Hey guys!
Cami: Uh, hi?
*Sal: What?
Alfred: What’s got you so cheerful?
*Sal: Just loving life! :D
Cami: Erm, okay? What the crap is wrong with you? Are you drinking NyQuil again!? We talked about this! You need to share!
Alfred: Cami! No! *Looks at Sal* Are we going to have to host another intervention?
*Sal: I’m not addicted to NyQuil... again. I’m just happy today, is that such a crime?
Cami: Hey! The only crimes we commit are illegal!
*Sal: Hence why they’re called crimes...
Cami: Oh shut up. -_-
*LATER THAT DAY – IN A RANDOM CLASS*
Sophia: *Bursts into the classroom* I NEED SAL, ZACK, ALFRED, AND CHEYENNE!
Teacher: Excuse me? Who are you?
Sophia: LOOK LADY, I AM A PREGNANT CHICK WHO’S DUE IN ABOUT FIFTEEN DAYS AND IS ON A MISSION! DON’T QUESTION ME!
Cami: Seriously, don’t.
*Sal, Cheyenne, Alfred, and Zack: *Follow Sophia out of the classroom*.
Sophia: *Leads them into a classroom with two closets and shoves Alfred and *Sal in a closet and locks the door*.
*Sal: What's going on??
Sophia: Shush! *Shoves Cheyenne and Zack into the other closet and locks the door*.
Cheyenne: Hey! I have a math test later!
Sophia: I DON’T CARE! Here’s the deal, clearly Sal and Alfred are in love still. And it’s pretty obvious Cheyenne and Zack have been shooting glances at each other. Don’t pretend you haven’t! We all know it’s true!
*Sal: I didn’t.
Sophia: No one cares.
*Sal: Well that’s rude.
Sophia: So shut up and mingle. I’ll be waiting out here.
*Sal: How can we mingle if you told us to shut up?
Sophia: SAL! I COULD GO INTO LABOR ANY MINUTE HERE, DON’T PEE ME OFF!
*Sal: Pee?
Sophia: I CAN’T SWEAR! THE BABY MIGHT HEAR!
*Sal: *Sarcastically* Yeah, because babies are usually influenced before they’re born.
Sophia: *Growls*.
*Sal: So, mingling?
Sophia: Mhm.
Cheyenne: Well this bites.
Zack: She’s trying to get us to break up with our gf/bf, then get us together.
Cheyenne: Well... It’s not a bad idea.
Zack: So what, you agree with her?
Cheyenne: Well, I agree with the tactic. Not sure I really agree with it happening to us, though.
Zack: It’s kinda like a blind date, though. Except we know each other.
Cheyenne: Right. And it was more forced.
Zack: Yeah...
Cheyenne: Okay so... What do we talk about?
Zack: How long do you think she’ll keep us in here for?
Sophia: Til you’re all coupled differently! It’s pretty obvious you aren’t happy with each other!
Alfred: That’s slightly true...
Cheyenne: WHAT!?
Alfred: Oh don’t even! I heard what you said about Sophia’s idea!
Cheyenne: Touché, my friend. Touché.
Sophia: So Cheyenne, what was one thing you didn’t like about Alfred?
Cheyenne: He wasn’t very manly.
Alfred: HEY!
Sophia: And Alfred? Anything you didn’t like about Cheyenne?
Alfred: She doesn’t like to hang around me in public because of my criminal past. Even though I was only in jail once or twice – the main reason being when I helped kidnap Justin Bieber.
Cheyenne: Whoa, what!?
Alfred: It was part of a bet!
*Sal: Oh, you know you liked it!
Alfred: Shut up.
Sophia: Anyway... Zack, what’s one thing you didn’t like about Sal?
*Sal: You better watch it buddy.
Zack: Well that...
*Sal: Hey!
Zack: Well it’s true! And you’re kind of a nag. But I don’t mind the nagging too much!
*Sal: I’m not a nag!
Alfred: ...
*Sal: Oh shut up.
Alfred: I didn’t say anything!
*Sal: You were thinking it!
Alfred: *Shrugs* You know me too well.
Sophia: Awhhh!
*Sal: Can it, Prego.
Sophia: WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?
*Sal: You heard me!
Alfred: What the heck Sal!? You know not to provoke the pregnant girl! She’ll kill you without hesitation! She’ll tear you apart!
*Sal: *Yawns* Big deal.
Alfred: *Looks at Sal weirdly*.
*Sal: What?
Alfred: Nothing...
Sophia: JUST GET TOGETHER NOW!
Cheyenne: So Alfred, does this mean we’re breaking up?
Alfred: Well considering you don’t like to be seen with me in public, it might be a good idea.
Zack: So...
*Sal: Oh for crying out loud, let’s just break up too.
Zack: *Looks at Cheyenne and smiles* I’m not a criminal.
Cheyenne: Well this is all moving kinda fast, but who cares! :D Wanna go grab a coffee?
Zack: We still have school.
Cheyenne: So?
Alfred: Oh now you’ll skip with someone!?
Cheyenne: Oh hush. Sophia, can you let us out now?
Sophia: Yes! :D *Unlocks the closet door and waves goodbye to Cheyenne and Zack* *Turns her attention back to *Sal and Alfred* Just waiting on you two, now.
*BELL RINGS*
Sophia: Well, I’m guessing I gotta go. Bye guys! Call me if you get together! *Leaves*.
Alfred: Wait! Sophia, don’t leave us! She’s gonna kill me!
*Sal: *Clears her throat* She is standing right next to you!
Alfred: Um.. Hi! You didn’t just hear that.
*Sal: Mhm.
*THE NEXT DAY*
Cami: *Calls Sal*.
*Sal: Hello?
Cami: WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU!?
*Sal: Locked in a closet at school with Alfred. Duh.
Cami: *Rolls her eyes* Just get to my house.
*Sal: We’re locked in, idiot.
Cami: Use your spare lock-picking kit! Gosh, I thought you always carried one around.
*Sal: Oh... Um. Mom took it away when I picked the lock on her safe...
Cami: Right.. Well, just call the janitor. He’s on your speed dial.
*Sal: Why the heck is he on my speed dial??
Cami: You did not seriously just ask me that. *Hangs up*.
*WITH SAL AND ALFRED*
*Sal: *Puts her phone away and looks at Alfred* Why is the janitor on my speed dial?
Alfred: *Gives Sal a weird look* How the heck am I supposed to know?
*Sal: *Shrugs and starts pounding on the door*.
Alfred: If he’s on your speed dial, just call him.
*Sal: Oh right. I forgot my phone.
Alfred: ...
*DOOR OPENS*
Janitor: Sal? You could’ve just called me.
*Sal: Oh for the love of tacos. Why are you on my speed dial!? (A/N: Word wants me to write this as: why you are on my speed dial!? What the crap word. What the crap...)
Janitor: I am? COOL!
*Sal: -_-
*AT CAMI’S HOUSE*
*Sal: *Knocks on Cami’s door*.
Alfred: What the heck are you doing?
*Sal: Knocking.
Alfred: *Gapes*.
Cami: *Opens the door* WHAT THE HECK!?
*Sal: Hello to you, too.
Cami: Why knock? You never knock.
*Sal: I must have forgotten.
Cami: *Raises an eyebrow, then shrugs* Whatever. Probably caused by all the times you’ve been hit in the head.
*Sal: *Shrugs and follows Alfred and Cami inside*.
Sophia: *Barges in* HAVE YOU TWO GOTTEN TOGETHER YET!?
*Sal: Uhh.. No.
Sophia: Cami, mind helping me?
Cami: Yes! :D *Grabs Sal and shoves her into a closet*.
Sophia: *Shoves Alfred inside the closet and locks it* NOW GET TOGETHER!
*Sal: *Sighs* She’s so hormonal.
Sophia: I HEARD THAT!
*Sal: *Snickers*.
Alfred: Can we at least get some toaster waffles in here?
*Sal: Ew, I don’t like toaster waffles.
Alfred: LIAR!
*Sal: *Raises an eyebrow*.
Alfred: YOU’RE NOT SAL!
*Sal: Of course I am, silly.
Alfred: Oh yeah? Okay, what type of poem did I recite to you in front of a bunch of people at a hotel*.
*Sal: Um, a Pokémon one. Duh.
Alfred: Alright, I’ll give you a point for that. Why did we break up?
*Sal: *Yawns* Over Pokémon.
Alfred: Which do you prefer; explosives or regular weapons?
*Sal: Explosives.
Alfred: Justin Bieber sucks.
*Sal: WHAT THE CRAP DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?
Alfred: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! *Starts pounding on the door* SOPHIA! LET US OUT! WE’RE TOGETHER!
*Sal: WHAT!?
Sophia: YES! *Opens the door*.
Alfred: THIS ISN’T SAL! SHE’S A FAKE!
Cami: Really? You sure?
Alfred: She likes Justin Bieber.
Cami: WHO THE HECK ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY PARTER-IN-CRIME!? *Tackles the fake Sal to the floor* TELL ME!
Maranda: AGH! I’M MARANDA AND I’M SAL’S TWIN SISTER!
Cami: Liar! Sal doesn’t have a twin!
Maranda: I’m kind of a family embarrassment.
Cami: Ah. I’ve been there.
Alfred: Still are.
Cami: SHUT UP, ALFRED!
Alfred: Where’s Sal?
Maranda: I’m not talking!
Cami: Yes you are.
Maranda: I meant I’m not going to tell you. *Rolls her eyes* Is she always this stupid?
Alfred: Yes.
Cami: Hey!
Alfred: No offense.
Cami: And yet I’m still offended.
Alfred: Tell us!
Maranda: No!
Cami: *Slaps Maranda across the face*.
Maranda: OW! *Slaps Cami back*.
Cami: Oh you did not just do that!
Alfred: Uh oh.
Cami: *Punches Maranda in the face, gets off her, and drags her to the backyard*.
Sophia: What’s she doing?
Alfred: I don’t wanna know.
Cami: *Drags Maranda to the shed and locks her in* There’s no food or water in there, so you’re just going to have to starve until you tell me where my best friend is!
Maranda: But if I don’t get out of here, then Sal won’t get fed.
Cami: Then you better talk.
Maranda: What if I have to use the bathroom!?
Cami: There’s a bucket in the corner.
Maranda: *Makes a disgusted face* AGH! SPIDER!
Cami: That’s Carlos! Don’t touch him!
Maranda: Oops.
Cami: YOU LITTLE BIT—
Darren: Cami!
Cami: When did you show up?
Darren: Like five minutes ago. So that’s not Sal?
Cami: Some chick named Molly.
Maranda: IT’S MARANDA!
Cami: NO ONE CARES!
Darren: Alright then.
Cami: TELL US WHERE SAL IS, YOU EVIL OLD HAG!
Maranda: NEVER!
Cami: Fine! You’ll just have to starve!
Maranda: So will Sal!
Cami: YOU’LL STILL DIE!
Maranda: Dang it.
*ONE HOUR LATER*
Maranda: BATHROOM!! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!
Cami: NEVER!
Maranda: FINE! I’LL TELL YOU!
Cami: THAT’S THE SPIRIT!
Maranda: But let me use the bathroom, first.
Cami: Um, let me thin- No.
Maranda: Please!
Darren: Just let her. *Whispers* We can put one of your tracking devices on her, anyway.
Cami: Fine. *Let’s Maranda out* Find the bathroom on your own, I’m too lazy to walk upstairs.
Maranda: *Starts to head inside*.
Cami: *Stops Maranda* Wait! I want a hug! *Pulls Maranda into a hug and secretly puts a tracker on her shirt color* Hurry up.
Maranda: Okay... *Goes inside and into the bathroom* Ha ha ha. Idiots. *Opens the bathroom window and sneaks out*.
*ONE HOUR LATER*
Cami: THAT EVIL SANDWICH!
Darren: You shouldn’t have let her go first.
Cami: YOU TOLD ME TO!
Darren: Well when do you listen to me!?
Cami: *Shrugs* Thought I’d try something new. Clearly, that was stupid!
Darren: Yeah, it was.
Cami: *Glares*.
Darren: But I love you!
Cami: Awh, I love you too!
Sophia: Shut up, you saps.
Cami: Another mood swing?
Sophia: I DO NOT HAVE MOOD SWINGS! *Starts crying*.
Cami: Awh, Sophia... *Quickly runs out of the house*.
Darren: ... *Awkwardly hugs Sophia* There, there...
Sophia: Oh, just leave.
Darren: Thanks! *Runs after Cami*.
*AT A SECLUDED CABIN*
Darren: Are you sure this is the right place?
Cami: Yes.
Alfred: *Walks up* Hey, I saw you guys go this way.
Cami: Why didn’t you run with us?
Alfred: I’m lazy.
Cami: *Shrugs* Fair enough. We think Sal is in this cabin.
Alfred: Sal!? *Runs to the cabin*.
Cami: WAIT WE NEED A PLAN! Ahh, what a love-sick moron.
Alfred: *Trips up the porch steps*.
Darren: Well that’s not stealthy at all.
Cami: *Shakes her head* We should follow.
Darren: Yeah. *Follows Cami up to the cabin and walks inside*.
Cami: Sal?
Sal: BACK HERE! I’M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY MY PSYCHOTIC TWIN!
Cami: *Hurries to the back room and unties Sal*.
Sal: Took you long enough.
Cami: Just be glad we came.
Sal: *Rolls her eyes and follows Cami into the living room*.
Cami: Where’s Maranda?
Alfred: We tied her up in the kitchen!
Cami: That seems a bit creepy.
Alfred: Oh shut up.
Sal: *Hugs Cami* I KNEW YOU’D KNOW THAT EVIL WOMEN WASN’T REALLY ME!
Cami: Ha. Yeah, totally...
Sal: What?
Cami: Nothing.
Alfred: You liar, Cam! I’m the one who found out!
Sal: What!? *Shoves Cami away and hugs Alfred*.
Cami: Jerk!
Sal: So how’d you find out?
Cami: Apparently we share the same love for Justin Bieber.
Sal: What a freak!
Cami: *Rolls her eyes* Oh, I should probably mention something to you.
Sal: What’s that?
Cami: You and Zack broke up.
Sal: WHAT!?
Cami: Yeah, he’s dating Cheyenne now.
Sal: WHAT!? WHY!?
Cami: Sophia was playing match maker.
Sal: That witch.
Cami: Well now you have Alfred again!
Sal: *Immediately stops hugging Alfred* This just got awkward. I’ll be in the car.
Cami: We didn’t bring one.
Sal: Then how’d you get here?
Cami: We ran.
Alfred: I walked.
Sal: Of course you did.
Alfred: :P
Sal: Well then let’s go.
Cami: What about Maranda?
Sal: I’ll have my mom come take care of it.
*AT CAMI’S HOUSE*
Cami: *Walks inside with the others* Hey, where is everyone? I thought Sophia and Ben were staying the night.
Alfred: Maybe they went to get ice cream with olives or something.
Cami: Ew. Well now I want food. *Goes into the kitchen* OOH! THEY LEFT A NOTE! I LOVE NOTES!
Sal: Still a moron.
Cami: Shut up. OH MY GOSH!
Sal: What!? *Runs into the kitchen with the others*.
Cami: WE’RE OUT OF POP TARTS AND TOASTER WAFFLES!
Sal: *Rolls her eyes* What does the note say, idiot?
Cami: Oh, Sophia’s in labor. WAIT WHAT!?
Sal: COME ROBIN, TO THE HOSPITAL!
Cami: THIS ISN’T A BATMAN MOVIE, JUST GET IN MY FREAKING CAR!
Sal: I don’t know if I trust your driving.
Cami: You can always walk the five miles.
Sal: So where’s your car parked?
----