What did I do to deserve such a shitty life?
Reincarnation isn't even true. So, what exactly did I do which might be so fucking wrong for me to deserve all this fucking drama?
I'm an orphan who doesn't even know anything about my real parents, aside from the fact that one or both of them have Alpha blood and one or both of them are white wolves. And, if I may include, that they had sex during the freaking blood moon.
My wolf got into a coma for years – which, until recently, I was so clueless as to why.
I got my heart broken by my first love, who raped me and soon made me his personal submissive jalapeno bitch, who also turned out to be cray cray because I enslaved him through my voodoo-y capability.
I cheated on my mates with my best guy friend. And we got into this fucking huge fight.
Then, I woke up without my mates' marks on me.
To top that up, I missed graduation! The very reason why I got into that stupid fight with my mates!
Fan-fucking-tastic, right!?!
Euan and Luca tried to mark me again. Keyword: tried. Not just once, but several times. However, whenever I would see, feel, or even sense – despite my being very human – that their canines are elongating, my body would shake violently then I would cough blood. The feeling wasn't any close to bad. It was way worse than bad. The more we tried, the more frustrated we grew.
Euan and Luca also tried to fish out what happened to me using their affinity. They said that something was very wrong and different about my aura. Unfortunately again, they said that something was blocking them. And I quote, "It's like someone or something had placed some kind of barrier in you."
After a while, we all decided to put the tryouts aside to search for valid inferences.
Now, it's been a month since I woke up without the two weeks' worth of memories and it just gets more confusing and painful every day.
I'm so fucking clueless as to what's fucking happening with me. And now that I'm having this fucking situation, it's just when my mates and I seem to have this really fucking awesome relationship going on. Note the heavy sarcasm, please.
Who should be blamed?
I'm getting tired of these things. Are we really just going to be like this?
I'm trying really hard to look for words to say which wouldn't irk either them or me. Because, these past few days, it seems that we'd argue about anything and everything. Mates are supposed to be attracted to one another, not repel each other. We're just slowly fading too far away from each other. And no matter how hard I try to understand the reasons why we carry on this way, I can't really understand why this is happening. It seems that we're lost in this... I don't even know what this is.
~
"So yeah, things are really shitty right now so I don't really know when I could train for all the black wolf stuff so that I can fix you." I finish my tell-tale with a heavy sigh. "Sorry."
"You don't have to look so sad, Belle. I can wait." Trey squeezes my hand.
"No. You've been in this prison way too long." I argue.
Ever since the bloody meeting where I first met my mates, Trey still hasn't been released from this prison cell. All because they still think he's going to do something bad. Although the cell had been redesigned to be more like a room, it's still a prison cell. And being a lupi, I don't think he'd do well with being confined for so long.
I tried to reason out that he'd go even crazier if he gets cramped up in here for too long – which happens to most imprisoned rogues – but they just wouldn't "risk" it.
"Oh fuck them." I grunt and hit the back of my head on the wall I'm leaning on.
"Hey. You don't have to be bothered about me." Trey clicks his tongue disapprovingly. "Look at yourself. You look really... tired." He says, worry obvious in his voice.
"I am tired." I reply dryly. "You know, I wish time could just go back to when everything was perfect and we were all just happy." I sigh.
"Me too, Belle. I wish just the same."
"But then there would be the smart ass philosophers like Marcus Aurelius Antoninus. Like, really? Is he some kind of plant or animal that needs a scientific name?"
Trey laughs at my rantings. "No. But you've always been a nerd, Belle."
"Shut up. Anyway, I remember a quote from him. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong as its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.'" I stare at the cold ceiling. "I kind of get what he meant, but at the same time, I don't. If everything will sooner or later be taken away from us, why should we have them in the first place?" I close my eyes. "Just like our happiness. And, especially, just like the paradise I had with my mates."
"Personally, I don't believe in going with the flow. I'd rather believe in the quote 'If there's a will, there's a way.'" Trey intertwines our fingers. "If something you hold dear gets taken away from you, you just have to fight to get it back. If you really want something, you ought to fight for it Belle." He says with sincerity while squeezing my hand.
I look at Trey and remember all the reasons why I fell in love with him.
I know it's weird for me to be thinking about my past with Trey. But right now, I can't help it. I'm like in some kind of sentimental phase wherein I'm reminiscing my feelings for Trey. There's something stirring in me which I can't absolutely explain for the past days.
People ask me why I constantly visit him. Of course I visit him because of the guilt I'm feeling with regards to the enslavement and stuff. He's here because of my so-called 'powers'. The least I can do for him, for now, is to check on him every now and then. Besides, since he promised to be cooperative, he's been behaving his self properly.
Although, I only visit him whenever Euan and Luca are going out – trying to search for some answers regarding my condition and our situation. But, it's not like I'm cheating on them, or anything. My intentions for visiting Trey are purely out of concern for his well-being.
The problem is... it seems as if my forgotten feelings of romantic affection for Trey are resurfacing.
I rapidly blink my eyes repeatedly.
Why do I feel so weird?
"Are you okay?" Trey catches my attention back.
"Ugh, yeah." I answers.
Although I feel really, really weird.
"I don't know. I feel kinda... light-headed." I shut my eyes tight and shake my head, trying to shake the weird feelings off.
"You're too stressed." He says with concern.
He's right, I guess. I sigh.
"Well, anyway..." I take a deep breath. "You're right about fighting for stuff and all." I continue our conversation.
They should really rethink about letting Trey out. He's being very reasonable and understanding... more than my so-called mates even.
"I'm getting you out of here." I look at him straight in the eyes.
"You don't really have to that, Belle. You'll just get into another disagreement with all of them if you keep on pushing something they clearly don't want and obviously wouldn't allow to happen." He shakes his head lightly.
"I don't care anymore."
I've already made up my mind. I'm getting Trey out of this cramped up prison cell even if it means getting in a word war with my mates, family, and the Alpha and Luna.
I go straight to the Alpha's office after visiting Trey.
"Alpha." I bow my head, showing acknowledgement.
"Take a seat." Alpha Troy gestures for me to seat on the chair in front of his desk. "So..." He interweaves his fingers, resting his chin on them, while his elbows rest on the table. "How may I help you today?"
"It's about Trey, Alpha." I say with determination.
"What about him?" Alpha Troy's mouth falls into a straight line.
"I think he should really be released now." Alpha Troy raises his brows, willing for me to continue. "He has been behaving properly. I've also talked to him for a couple of times and he's actually okay now."
"As much as I want my son to be released, we all know how dangerous that could be, Belle. He's not in his right mind." He sighs. "And, of course, he would try and convince us to free him. You, of all people, should know how cunning he could get just to have his way."
Of course the Alpha would be a smart ass about this.
"Why can't you guys just give him a chance?" I argue. "I strongly believe that he's changed. And that's for the better."
"I'm not saying that you're wrong. We're just being very careful about this, Belle." He contends.
"Just get him out of there." I say through gritted teeth.
Alpha Troy growls lowly, not liking the way I said my last sentence. "Stop." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I believe this is the end of this discussion." He says coldly with his eyes closed.
"No. Get him out of there." I protest.
"Enough." He says with force. "Do not test the limit of my patience, pup."
I do understand that Alpha Troy doesn't want to speak to me this way. His lyall just feels peeved because I'm challenging his resolution. I also do know that I should stop now. But something's pushing me to do whatever it takes to get Trey out of that cell.
"If you won't get him out of there, I will." Words just keep on spilling from my mouth.
"And what are you going to do?" Alpha Troy stands up from his seat. His hands are clenched and his eyes are flashing gold.
How did I dare challenge my Alpha? I really don't know.
"Whatever it takes." I retort.
Oh Dea! Can someone please put a cork or whatever kind of cover on my mouth?!
Alpha Troy growls loudly, baring his canines at me. I'm scared as shit at the moment but I don't feel any urge to show my submission to him. Alpha Troy growls louder, wanting me to submit to his authority.
I stand up from my chair and glare at him.
And in his sight, I am challenging the Alpha lupi.
Alpha Troy's eyes turn pitch black before he pounces on me. He tackles me to the ground effortlessly and snarls right at my face, his claws a mere millimeter away from the skin of my throat.
"Submit!" He roars.
Oh dear me, I've never ever interacted with Alpha Troy's while his lyall has surfaced before. And wow me, our first actual meeting turned out to be like this.
"Alpha Troy!"
The Luna pulls Alpha Troy off me.
Being his mate, the Luna has somehow managed to calm the infuriated Alpha instantly.
"What's happening here?" Luna Mary questions us, full of worry.
"I was asking the Alpha to let Trey out." I answer without reluctance.
"More like demanding!" The Alpha snarls with his clenched fists. Luna Mary rubs his arm in a calming manner.
"No, Alpha." I hiss bitterly. "When you didn't agree, I said that I'll be the one to do the job."
"And that basically means you will get him out of there through improper and unauthorized methods." He growls.
"Can you please both calm down?" Luna Mary interjects. "And Belle, you are being disrespectful to your Alpha! Do you want to be punished?"
"This discussion is over." Alpha Troy says firmly.
I send him a death glare before I walk out of his office, not forgetting to slam the door.
Seriously 'though... Why am I being such a lunatic bitch?
~
Rewind
Trey says a foreign word I don't understand.
Something rings in my head and I feel weird... like I'm floating. All of a sudden, every bit of my attention is focused on Trey.
"Like I told you, if they take something from me, I will fight to get it back. They took you away from me so I will do everything and anything to get you back, my lovely Belle."
Trey – his free hand reaching out from the bars of his prison cell – circles his thumb on my face as he says another set of incomprehensible words.
I look at him, waiting – waiting for what he will say to me.
"Do whatever you have to do to get me out of here."
"Yes." I answer, bowing my head.
He then lifts my head up so that I can look up at him and pulls my face closer to his, careful that our faces won't directly touch the silver bars, and places a long kiss on my lips.
He utters more foreign words and my eyes close on their own accord.
I rapidly blink my eyes repeatedly.
Why do I feel so weird?