James, Sirius and Lily
Deer Evans,
How doe you doe? We hope Christmas is treating you well. We also hope you enjoyed our gift—Chocolate frogs never go out of style. Jamsie and I are fine, thanks for asking (not that you asked). In the light of our truce, (which, in case you forgot, was made in late October) we have decided to add you on our Christmas card list.
You're welcome.
Jamsie and I are at the Potter Manor, living life and having fun. Remus and Peter went home for Christmas. Yesterday, I turned Jamsie's hair pink, and he's still moping about it. He's right next to me, as I write this letter. Prongs keeps an eye on me every time I write a letter so that I don't end up conveying more than I should. Hah, as if.
But I'm pro-grass-tinating, I wrote to show my immense gratitude to you for the Transfiguration books you gave us. James would have written a letter too, but since we're in the same house, there's no need. He wanted to, of course, but do you even realise how critical this issue has become? We cut trees ALL THE TIME for paper and parchment and we waste them ALL THE TIME. Who will provide us with FOOD? Who will provide us with OXYGEN?? Who—
Okay, prongs is telling me to come to the point.
THANK YOU FOR THE TRANSFIGURATION BOOKS! WE LOVED IT!
With best wishes from a concerned environmentalist,
Sirius Black
P.S: What did you gift Remus?
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Black,
You never cease to surprise me with your conceited brain. First, I was afraid you had suffered a brain damage, but now I'm very certain you DO suffer from it.
I couldn't help but notice all those terrible puns you insisted on adding in your letter. 'Deer', 'grass' and 'doe'? What made you do that? Are you in a forest? Or in a farm?
Christmas is treating me well, thanks for having me in your daily prayers. And I'm so VERY happy that you and Potter are healthy and alive. I'm also VERY HONOURED that I've made it to you Christmas card list. It's also VERY ENTERTAINING to know you turned Potter's hair pink. Why couldn't you have given him a lovely haircut? Or even better, turned him bald?
It's informative to know you're a nature-lover, Black. You seem very concerned about deforestation. If I didn't know better, I would have been impressed. But I DO know better, and I know the only reason you raise this issue is because you hate submitting essays, which we oh so conveniently write on parchments.
No wonder you're an environmentalist.
As for the Transfiguration books—you're welcome. Also, thank you for the Chocolate Frogs—I have a sweet tooth and your gift is very much appreciated.
Merry Christmas, Black. And Potter.
Sincerely,
Lily Evans
P.S: Who's Prongs?
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Deer Evans,
I'm wounded that you think I've got a non-existent brain. How else can I think of such lovely puns and jokes? I've got a well-functioning brain, thank you very much.
'Turn Potter bald'? Wow, Evans, what happened to you? Did you suffer a brain damage like me too? Or was it your intense dislike for Jamsie speaking such aggressive things? James thinks you've turned BARKING mad.
The puns, Evans, are inside jokes, which you can never begin to understand. And if I was in a farm, Evans, you would know, because I would have sent you a million pictures of myself dressed as a shepherd. A sight to anticipate, eh?
Homework and essays have nothing to do with my nature-loving self, Evans! I'm a very concerned global citizen of the world. Deforestation is caused by both Wizards and Muggles! So both parties are responsible for world destruction! I wouldn't be surprised if the world ended in five years!
Prongs is James, by the way.
With best wishes from the best prankster,
Sirius Black
P.S: Sarcasm and hostility simply oozed from your letter, Evans. I've trained you well. And, I know this is a random question but—do you like deer? Specifically, stags?
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Sirius, James and Rhea
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Deer Rhea Cadieux,
We may not be on the best of terms right now, but we can handle a few letters, right? Luna told Sirius in her previous letter that you've been keeping in touch with Remus, and if you're wondering how I know that, Sirius is at my place for Christmas. And if you keep in touch with one of us, you keep in touch with all of us. So, here we are.
Those Zonko products came real handy, thank you for that. We've been having a sort of a competition out here—to see whose pranks are the most notorious of all. Since we, regretfully, cannot use magic out of school, the Prank War wasn't as... horrible as it would have been at Hogwarts. Sirius now resembles Filch, and he has (reluctantly) admitted defeat.
He put up a good fight, though. I've got pink hair, a ridiculous hair cut (blame Evans for that, she unintentionally gave Padfoot an idea) and disgusting fungi growing out of my nails. I have no idea why, but my hair regrew within an hour, and I swear I didn't use any magic to do so.
I've got a question, though. You gave Sirius a muggle device. What exactly is that? He's been trying to find out how it works, and I'm afraid any more fiddling can break it (why are muggle objects so fragile?). I know you gave him a radio, but there are other rectangular things that came along with it. We know how to operate the radio, but where do we insert these rectangular things?
I hope you'll answer us as soon as you get the letter—Sirius is barking mad with frustration. He thinks he is an expert on muggle things, and if he fails to understand muggle devices, he takes it as a personal offence. You do understand how dangerous it is to have Sirius frustrated?
Please write back immediately or Sirius might use magic on the radio and he'll get into trouble.
Sincerely,
James Potter
P.S: There's some thread coming out of the rectangular things. Is that normal?
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Dear James,
I'm going to address your post script first. WHAT DID YOU DO SIRIUS ORION BLACK??? THOSE 'RECTANGULAR THINGS' ARE CASSETTES! You insert them in the slot of the radio, which you open by pressing the third button from the left! The 'thread' coming out of the cassette is actually the tape! This is what makes the cassettes function, you fools! I also happened to send a paper with instructions along with the gift, but Black seems to be overly careless!
I cannot believe you damaged it, Sirius! Those cassettes were something my best friend's godfather gifted him, and since he's no more with us, I've been owning them. I thought Sirius would appreciate muggle music, and I trusted him with it.
Well, it's no good crying over spilt potion, I guess. I'm just happy the other cassettes are not damaged. If they are, Black, I shall make sure you regret you were ever born. Just press the third button from the left, the slot shall open, and you can insert the cassette. Then you press the 'play' button. It's a shame Wizarding radios don't need cassettes.
Onto happier thoughts, I'm glad you put my gift into good use, James. I hope Sirius' look doesn't change until you both come back to Hogwarts. If it does, please ensure you take a picture. Your hair regrew, you say? That's sort of normal, I guess. My best friend, who has hair eerily like yours, had gone through a similar situation. It frightened the living daylights out of his aunt and uncle. But you didn't need to know that.
Should I assume that since I'm friends with Remus, I'm your friends too? Because that would be a ridiculous assumption, James, since YOU and Sirius were the ones who jinxed my favourite couch by the fire in the Common Room.
Watch your back when you come back to Hogwarts, the two of you.
With loads of love,
Rhea
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✧ ✦ ✧Rhea and Remus✧ ✦ ✧
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Dear Remus,
How are you feeling now, Remus? I hope you are well, because getting sick on Christmas is terrible, and from what I hear from your friends, they've given you loads of fun gifts to keep you occupied.
I can almost imagine the many number of chocolate boxes around you, since Lily, Sirius, James, Pettigrew and Luna must have sent you many.
But coming to the point, I would like to inform you that I laughed myself silly when Lily serenely wrote to me regarding her suspicions of me being a seer. Now, I know I did win an eerie amount of bets, but that was just luck and coincidence.
Have I quelled your paranoia?
Also, I've been wondering—why are grindylows classified as Dark creatures? I mean, the Black Lake at Hogwarts is home to Grindylows, so why exactly are they classified so? Now, I'm not undermining shortness of creatures, but Grindylows are SMALL. They are as huge as cats. Moreover, they eat fish and ALGAE. I'm not insulting algae, but anything that eats algae is bound to be harmless, right?
Sorry, I've been having some weird questions lately.
Also, Remus, if you think you can get away with pranking me, you're wrong. Really, Rem? Bubotuber pus? Are you losing your touch? Perhaps I should bring you back to your form after you come back from your Christmas break?
Yes, that's right. Smile all you want. Smile while you can. Because, my dear sarcastic friend, it's gonna be wiped off from your face soon enough.
Happy New Year, in advance.
With loads of love,
Rhea
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Dear Rhea,
I am up and about, and no more sick. I think I might have looked worse than I felt—even Lily was very worried about me. Rest assured, I'm fine, it's just the change of the weather, you know?
Okay, I apologise about that prank, but you know Sirius and James, don't you? Nothing stops them, and they—or Sirius, specifically—was hell-bent on pranking you. And Peter was all for it because you jinxed his nose to look like a clown's the other day. I swear I wasn't the one who suggested bubotuber pus.
But I was the one who kept the antidote under the couch. That's got to count for something, isn't it, Re?
On another note, I guess I should have expected Lily would write to you about your 'seer abilities'. She's outright blunt and straightforward, but all that aside, I DO think you're a seer. No, stop smirking. I'm serious.
Coming to your question, Grindylows are classified as Dark Creatures for a reason. The ones in the Black Lake are trained by the merpeople, and Grindylows have strange affinity with the merpeople. So, they are somewhat harmless here. But there are a few that are extremely dangerous in the Black Lake too.
Okay, I hope you swear to secrecy, because what I'm going to write about is, er, not exactly within the rules.
So, long story short: James dared Sirius to jump into the Black Lake on one of our night detours in our fourth year. But when Sirius did jump in, he didn't resurface for two full minutes, and you can only imagine how worried I was. So the three of us jumped in too, only to find out that a grindylow was almost strangling Sirius. I shot a relashio curse at it, and we were able to escape unscathed.
So you see, I'm always there to make sure none of them die. Seems like I do a good job of it, don't I?
Do you now understand why Grindylows are dark creatures? They kill humans. Not all algae-eating creatures are harmless.
On that happy note, I'll wind this letter up.
Happy New Year in advance, Re. Give my wishes to Luna as well.
Love,
Remus
P.S: You're right, I'm surrounded with chocolate right now. I got the hint from your letter—and I'm not sharing.
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✧ ✦ ✧Regulus and Luna✧ ✦ ✧
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Cadieux—
I SPECIFICALLY told you not to send me any letter or presents. Did you forget what I'd told you, or are you just too stubborn? What's worse is you sent me a rubber duck. Just because you beat me in that duel, Cadiuex, doesn't mean you are stronger or better. The only reason you won was because I went easy on you. You're a girl, after all. If it was up to me, I'd have injured you so much that you wouldn't dare look me in the eye.
I'm returning the bloody present, and do not send a reply. The only reason I tolerate you is because you're a Pureblood. But by the looks of whom you hang out with, you're a blood traitor.
—Regulus Black
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Reg, Reggie, Regulus,
Merry Christmas to you too.
Your letter was rude, Reggie, did no one tell you not to be rude to people, or specifically, friends?
Need I remind you that you only warned me never to send letters? You never mentioned anything about presents, and so I sent you one. Next time, be a little specific, alright? It's okay, others make careless mistakes too.
'I only tolerate you because you're a pureblood'—really, Reggie? I thought we crossed this particular barrier, but seems as though I'm wrong. And 'by the looks of whom you hang out with'—do you mean Timothy, Dorcas and Lily?
Because if that's so, Reg, I would like to inform you that Tim is the sweetest person on earth, Dorcas is five time braver than you, and Lily could kill you five times a day. If hanging out with them makes me a blood traitor, I shall gladly take that title.
Do you like lemonade?
Love,
Luna