THE AFTERMATH
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283 AC, King's Landing
Alyssa! Alyssa! Someone fetch a Maester. Now!
What happened to her?
She has lost a lot of blood and has suffered a head trauma. There is nothing else I can do. Right now it's her own strength that decides if she lives or not.
You need to rest, Ned,
I won't leave until my sister is awake. That isn't even up for discussion.
Isn't your sister's state proof enough of what those silver haired sisterfuckers are capable of?
Please wake up, Alys. I won't be able to bear losing you.
Alyssa could despite her unconscious stare hear the voices around her. Sometimes they were unclear or unrecognisable. But other times she could clearly hear who was talking and what they were saying.
It felt like a dream to her. Or more like a nightmare because all she could see was black and no matter how hard she tried to open her eyes or talk, she just couldn't.
There was no way for her to tell how much time that had passed. For her it could have been minutes, hours, days, moons or years. With all the darkness there was no way of telling when the day turned into night and then day again. It was all just a night to her.
And then, suddenly, she felt a surge of energy run through her body. It was like she entire body had been tied together, and then one day someone loosened the ropes little by little, allowing her to spring free.
At first she could move her fingers again and that was when she once again tried to open her eyes. Her first tries failed, her eyelids feeling too heavy to lift. But then she managed to open them for a second, followed by a few seconds and finally her eyes fluttered open.
The room she was in was dark, but the moonlight made the contrasts of the furniture visible and she could even in her weakened state see that this wasn't her room. It wasn't a room she had been in before even.
Her head moved from side to side, trying to figure out where she was when she felt something move against her legs. With all the energy she had, Alyssa lifted up her head up to see that it was in fact a person.
A hunched over figure was seated on a chair beside her bed. The person was sleeping, using Alyssa's legs like a pillow, his entire upper body laying across the mattress.
She squinted her eyes, trying desperately to distinguish the person's features sense he was laying with his head towards her and when she finally did, her heart leaped in her chest.
He had changed much since they last saw each other, but at the same time he looked exactly the same. He had a beard now, his hair had grown longer and his face seemed more mature. But it was the same boy who had comforted her when she had a nightmare as a child. The same boy who despite not saying many words always knew what to say.
Ned, her sweet brother.
"Ne—," Alyssa croaked, her throat feeling dry like the dornish desert, "Ne —ed," she tried again, using the hand that laid close to his head to stroke his hair, making sure that he was actually there. That this wasn't some cruel trick her mind was playing on her.
Her fingers stroking through his hair seemed to alert Ned whose head quickly snapped up, his grey eyes alert without a trace of sleep in them as he stared at her. Tears flooded his eyes like raindrops falling from a stormy cloud. "Alyssa," Ned breathed out before almost leaping forward to hug her closely.
Alyssa breathed in the familiar scent of leather and wood, feeling safe for the first time in years, "I've missed you, big brother," she whispered.
She let out something between a sob and a laugh when she realised that Ned was there with her. Her sweet brother were hugging her tightly like he feared she would disappear if he let go, but at the same time he held her like he thought she would break any second.
After Alyssa had gotten over the shock of seeing her brother again passed her she remembered what actually put her in this situation. It all came back to her, images of what had transpired that night flashing before her eyes.
Deziel's hand against her throat.
Aerys hand trailing up her leg.
Jaime slitting Aerys throat.
The King's lifeless body falling to the ground.
"What happened— Aerys is dead — The Lannister army — they sacked the city-" she tried to ask all her questions at the same time and it came out like panicked muttering.
"Take it easy, Alys," Ned tried to calm her but there was something in his eyes that had the opposite effect on her.
"Where are my children? Where is Lyrella and Daeryn?" Alyssa asked, looking around the room frantically, sitting up with the little strength she had, "Where are they? And Elia?"
"I-" Ned said but his voice cracked at the end. His expression was of pure grief and his eyes filled with such extreme guilt and pain that Alyssa felt like someone was sucking the life out of her.
"No," Alyssa said firmly, "Where are they? I need to see them, please. I must see them," she begged Ned, not willing to accept what all the signs were telling her.
"I'm so sorry, Alys," Ned cried and Alyssa suddenly felt numb. She didn't even notice when her older brother pulled her into a tight hug. She couldn't think, she couldn't feel, she couldn't hear or seen anything. There was nothing.
She didn't know how long she just stared into the wall with unseeing eyes before it dawned on her.
Her children were dead.
Lyrella was just a moon younger than four years old.
Daeryn had just turned two and was still almost a babe.
And she'd never see them again.
She would never get to see Lyrella grow up to become a beautiful and intelligent woman. She would never get to teach her daughter how to fight or shoot an arrow, all the things she had planned.
She would never get to see if Daeryn grew up to be a spitting image of his father or if he would look more like her. She would never be able to help and guide him in his lesson, preparing him to become the future King.
She would never see them again.
"No, no, no, no," Alyssa repeated like a mantra, "You are lying! You must be mistaken! Please tell me you are wrong." She started to shake uncontrollably, "They can't be dead."
An agonising scream rang through the Red Keep.
A scream so raw and painful that it broke the heart of everyone who heard it.
A scream so grieving it could only come from a mother who just lost her children.
.•° ✿ °•.
Ned had his back against the headboard of Alyssa's bed, hugging his little sister gently as she slept with her head laying on his legs. She had cried for what felt like hours until the exhaustion caught up with her and she fell asleep.
His heart had broken when he found out about the faith his niece and nephew suffered, but it had been crushed when he heard Alyssa's pained cries. No mother should ever be forced to outlive her children. It would have been horrible to lose one child, but to lose both of them was simply too much for anyone to take.
He had held her and cried with her. Even though he couldn't even imagine Alyssa's pain, hearing and seeing it was enough to make even the coldest man cry. His little sister who had never done anything to hurt anyone was the one person who suffered the most.
Not only had she been forced to endure the madness of Aerys Targaryen for years, she had been put through both mental and physical torture that not many people would be able to endure. Her scars was enough to proof that. He almost hadn't believed his eyes when he entered the Throne Room the night of the Sack.
Ned led the northern army through the King's Gate, seeing the Lannister men fighting the remaining Targaryen loyalists. After all the bloodshed and battles he was so ready for the war to be over. He just wanted to go home.
He rode through the Keep and towards the Throne Room where he expected to find Aerys Targaryen, who now had no other choice but to retreat. House Targaryen had lost this war the second Rhaegar fell in the Trident.
He reached the double doors who already stood open and rode inside to see that the men from the Westerlands had beaten him there. But the thing that had shocked him the most was to find Jaime Lannister sitting on the bottom steps of the Iron Throne, his eyes looking at something below him. And a few meters away laid the dead body of Aerys II of House Targaryen, surrounded by a pool of blood.
At the sound of hooves Jaime looked up and Ned could see recognition in his Lannister green eyes. Instead of saying something Ned just fixed his stare on the Young Lion who stared at him with hard eyes before he stood up, "It was an uncomfortable seat anyways," his voice echoed through the hall.
But instead of walking away, Jaime crouched down to the floor when what Ned could only assume was a Maester said something to him. The two men were surrounded by at least five more that blocked Ned's vision of what they were surrounding.
He moved his horse forward but halted when Jaime stood up with a limp figure in his arms. Ned felt himself freeze because he could recognise that curly brown hair anywhere. He all but jumped of his horse, "What have you done?" he asked accusingly, seeing his beloved little sister unconscious in the knight's arms.
"I saved her life," Jaime said venomously, although there was a hint of guilt in his tone.
"You killed your King?" Ned couldn't keep a hint of judgement out of his tone. Jaime Lannister was a sworn brother of the Kingsguard, he had taken an oath to protect his King before opening his throat.
"I did what I needed to do," Jaime said coldly, shifting Alyssa in his arms. Ned moved forward to see that Alyssa's face was covered in blood, her throat was covered in both fresh and old wounds.
"Is she —" Ned couldn't even get the words out. The small rise and fall of her chest was the only thing that kept him from crumbling in the moment.
"The Lady will be fine," the Maester said and Ned suspected he had arrived with the Lannister army, seeing as he wore a cloak with the colours and boar of House Crakehall. "But we need to get her to a calmer place where I can examine her further and stitch up her wounds."
"Give her to me," Ned ordered, stepping forward to take Alyssa but in response Jaime stepped back, hugging her closer to him. Ned's eyes narrowed at the Lion of Lannister's unwillingness to let go of his sister.
"It's not good to move her more than necessary," Jaime stated, attempting to move past him, only for Ned to block his path which only seemed to feed the golden haired man's annoyance, "Your sister is injured and in the need of care."
"Aye, but I will carry her there," Ned said firmly.
"I'm already carrying her, Stark."
"She is my sister."
"I'm the one who has been there for her in the past year."
"My Lords," the Maester exclaimed, "If the Lady was awake I am sure she would have preferred actually getting carried to a place where I can stitch her up than for you to argue about who is going to do it."
After they had arrived in a room far away from the battle he had stayed to see the Maester clean up Alyssa's wounds. She had a small one in the back of her head that was bleeding a little, but most of the blood that had covered her forehead, check and her eyes was caused by a deeper gash that split her left eyebrow into two.
Yet it wasn't the bleeding that worried him the most, it was the rest of the scratches and wounds that covered her body, both old and new, that he didn't even want to think about how she had received.
But the physical wounds were nothing compared to what she was feeling right now. Alyssa was a person that loved and cared deeply and losing her children was worse than any visible wounds. And he knew deep inside that this wound would scar her.
With the years to come her pain would disappear but the scar would never vanish completely. It might become paler, less visible with the years. But these kind of wounds never truly left.
When Ned was confident that Alyssa was asleep and wouldn't wake up he carefully moved her so she was laying down with her head on the soft pillows before he climbed of the bed. After placing a blanket over her he made his way towards the door.
In reality he didn't want to leave her, but he had no choice. He needed to speak with Robert and Jon who had been trying to get him to leave her beside for days. The war wasn't completely over yet, the Tyrell army was still holding its siege at Storm's End and Lyanna was still missing.
It was morning by now and the rest of the castle was waking up. The day before had been a big day, Robert's coronation, a ceremony that would seal a new era and a new dynasty. With the fall of the Targaryens the Baratheon Dynasty had been marked to start on that day.
But while one could have assumed that it would be a happy occasion, the memory would always be soiled in his mind. Not only had he been forced to leave his sister for a few hours, after the ceremony Tywin Lannister had presented the bodies of his niece and nephew wrapped in pretty Lannister silks as a token of fealty.
Lyrella had been stabbed so many times that the only thing that gave away her identity was the dark head on top of her head. She had reminded him so much about Alyssa when he met her at Harrenhal, with so much energy and and life that now was gone, replaced by a bloody corpse.
And Daeryn, he had never met the boy but that didn't matter, the sight of the red ruin that was his skull had horrified him. In fact the state of the young prince's head had been so brutal and terrible that not even Robert could stand it.
After that little Lannister spectacle Ned had returned to Alyssa's side without speaking another word to anyone, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. Robert may be his friend, his brother even, but something needed to be done about this.
He burst into Robert's temporary solar where he found said man standing by a map of Westeros with Jon Arryn at his side. Both of the men's heads snapped up when he entered and Robert was the one to break the silence, "How is Alyssa?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned.
"Awake but completely crushed," Ned stated simply, his eyes narrowing at the thought of his sister's condition.
"You told her about-"
"I had no other choice. She immediately asked for them when she woke up," Ned snapped, "But I didn't tell her how they died and when I do she will demand justice. And I will agree with her."
"Justice, Ned?" Robert asked in disbelief, "It's war-"
"Lyrella and Daeryn were innocent!" Ned stated firmly, "They were just children. Babes even."
"They were his children! I saw no babes, only dragonspawn and one day they would grow up to become just like the rest of them."
"They were Alyssa's children, my sister's children!" Ned shouted, his usually calm demeanour disappearing, "I fought beside you and in the end it was my family who was killed. Tywin Lannister didn't join the war until he knew who was winning and to show his loyalty he had my niece and nephew murdered in their beds. Lyrella and Daeryn may have wore the name Targaryen, but they were Starks too."
"Have you forgotten what those silver haired fools have done to your family? Rhaegar Targaryen kidnapped your sister and the Mad King killed your father and brother-"
"BUT THE CHILDREN WERE INNOCENT!" Ned screamed, losing all his calmness, "How can you stand here and try to justify the murder of innocent children?"
"Both of you need to calm down," their foster father stepped in between them, "Further fighting will lead us nowhere. In these times we must look after each other and not fight a war amongst ourselves when this war isn't over yet."
"The only way we can look after each other is if my family gets the justice," Ned stated before dashing out of the room, slamming the door close behind him.
.•° ✿ °•.
"I don't have to leave," Ned said, standing before clad in his armour. After his fight with Robert he was eager to leave the city, but he was reluctant to leave her behind. "I'm sure Howland can-"
"You have to go," Alyssa said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. She had not left her rooms since she woke up, she had barely eaten, barely slept, barely talked. All her thoughts were on her children. Her babies.
At first, when Ned had told her, she felt numb. She was too shocked to move or think, it was like her brain were trying to protect her from the pain.
But eventually the shock wore of and she couldn't believe it. Her babies couldn't be dead, they just couldn't. She didn't even want to admit it to herself, almost expecting Lyrella to run through the door and ask her why she was crying or for Daeryn to call for her. But they didn't.
When she couldn't deny it any longer the pain and grief she had been feeling doubled. And it wouldn't disappear because she continued to repeat all the events that had occurred the past few days, considering every what if there was. What if she had managed to get them out of the city? What if Rhaegar had never run away with Lyanna? What if Pycelle hadn't diagnosed her as barren?
She was filled with a constant yearning to see her children again. If she couldn't have them back she wanted to see them for just a few minutes. She just needed five minutes more with them to tell them how much she loved them.
Alyssa also wanted to apologise to them because she felt so guilty over their deaths. She had managed to get Rhaella, Viserys and Jaehaerys out of King's Landing and out of harms way, but not her other two children. She also felt guilt over Elia, because she had only stayed behind because the dornish princess was too kindhearted to leave her alone.
Elia was more of a sister to her than Lyanna had ever been. She was always there to comfort her, to support her and make her feel better, but now she was gone. She'd never see her kind smile or hear her sweet wit again. It was the same pain as when she had lost Brandon and her father, like a part of her family was gone.
She had lost her father, Brandon, her husband and her children, she couldn't bare losing anyone else, "You need to find Lyanna and bring her back. It's the right thing to do." Alyssa had no idea if she wanted to see her sister ever again, not after everything that had happened.
Lyanna had always been a little cold towards her, but this wasn't a snarky comment or a glare. Now Lyanna had actually ruined her life. She had run away with Alyssa's husband, who of course was just as much at fault, and it had lead to the death of Alyssa's children, father, older brother and sister.
How could she look at Lyanna again after all of this, especially when she was carrying Alyssa's husband's child when she herself had just lost both of hers. For some reason Alyssa couldn't really accept that her little sister was with child which was one of the reasons she hadn't told Ned about it. He would figure it out on his own when he found Lyanna.
"You have to find Lyanna, I know that," Alyssa said, "And once you come back we will return home. Together." Together. Would she be forced to spend the rest of her days living with her sister and her child? What would happen when Robert found out that Lyanna was with child? Would that child suffer the same faith as her own?
"I don't want to leave you here alone," Ned admitted, taking both her hands, "Never again. It was a mistake to go separate ways at Harrenhal, I won't make the same mistake again."
"You won't be gone for long this time," Alyssa tried to assure both him and herself, "No one is more ready to leave this place than I am, but you need to finish this before that's possible."
"How can I leave you alone with these people-"
"I will manage," Alyssa told him, "I always do."
"But-"
"This about it like this, the sooner you leave the sooner you will come back," Alyssa interrupted him, "And more importantly, the sooner we can go back to Winterfell."
.•° ✿ °•.
Ned had left a few days ago, leaving Alyssa completely alone inside the Red Keep. She hadn't left her rooms at all since she woke up and she wasn't about to do it now. And without Ned she had fallen into a bad circle.
Servants would come in with plates of food but she would only take one or two bites, leaving the rest to be taken out when the next plate come. When Ned was here she would at least have someone to forcefeed her, to help lessen the pain slightly, just slightly.
But now she was alone again, surrounded by strangers. Or at least surrounded by the people who had murdered her children or the ones that had let it happen. It felt like all of those moons when she was pregnant with Jaehaerys, after Brandon and her father passed, that she had been forced to mourn alone.
Jaehaerys.
Knowing that he was alive was probably the only thing that kept her going right now. There were moments when she just wished that Aerys had managed to kill her during the sack, at least that way she would be able to see her children again. But in those moments she had to remind herself that she had one child left. Her baby boy.
She knew that there was no way she could claim him as her own, to be honest, she didn't know what to do. She didn't trust anyone to send a message to Starfall and ask Ashara what they had to do, she just knew that she wouldn't risk Jaehaerys' life for anything. Even if it meant that they had to be apart for a while.
Perhaps she could take a detour to Starfall before returning to Winterfell. Alyssa wasn't a princess anymore, she had no husband and no children, she could go wherever she wanted. She was free.
How ironic that was, for as a child all she wanted to be was free to do what she wanted. But she had to pay a price for her freedom. A price she really wasn't willing to pay.
Now she would be able to live out the rest of her days in Winterfell or travel the world if she wanted to. Alyssa could return to Dorne for a while, spending some time with Oberyn and his daughters, but she had no idea if she could ever face the Dornish Prince again.
Alyssa had done one thing that broke out of her routine of not doing anything; write a letter to the Martells, apologising for what had befallen their beloved princess and sister. After all, she was the reason Elia had been inside the Red Keep when the city was sacked.
She had poured all her own sadness and grief into the letter, almost begging for forgiveness for she could not bare it if Oberyn started hating her. The war had left her with few people in the world that she could trust, that she felt at home with.
A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts and made Alyssa frown slightly. The servants had left a few minutes ago, carrying out her full plates of food and the Maester had visited her this morning. Luckily for her, and for him, it wasn't Pycelle that had been tasked to examine her. Instead it was a man with a western accent that actually seemed to know something about healing and medicine. It was a nice change.
"Come in," she called, her voice a little raspy sense she didn't talk much, instead she spent most of her time crying. She didn't even care that she was laying in her bed wearing a robe with her hair in a messy braid, she didn't have anything to prove to anyone.
The door creaked open to reveal a familiar golden haired man. Jaime stepped inside, clad in a red tunic and black breeches, so different from his white armour she had become so accustomed to.
Jaime closed the door behind him and walked over to place a plate beside her on the bed, "Eat," he ordered, looking pointedly between her and the plate of food.
Alyssa let out a snort at his lack of sensitivity for a person in her state. She had always liked Jaime's forwardness, it reminded her a little of northerners who didn't waste time on fake pleasantries.
"I'm not hungry," Alyssa stated, looking up at him. His cat-green eyes were narrowed and he looked almost worried.
"You are starving yourself," Jaime corrected her, giving her a look like he was asking if he could sit down and when she nodded he sat down beside her, on the edge of the bed.
"No, I'm not-"
"You have been sending your food back for days, I asked your maids," Jaime told her, "You won't do anyone a favour by starving yourself so eat. I brought raspberry tarts, your favourite, and some bread, because I don't know if your stomach can handle much more right now."
Alyssa was actually genuinely flattered by his care for her. Even though he was straight to the point, he had actually bothered to take time out of his day to force feed her. "You remember they are my favourite."
"Just eat," Jaime looked away, a sheepish smile on his face like he was embarrassed that he had remembered what her favourite cake was.
Alyssa nibbled a little on the toast, not wanting to shock her stomach with large bites. They fell into a silence, but it wasn't tense. Having spent so much time together in this hellhole meant that the two had grown fairly comfortable in each other's presence.
Alyssa was partially happy that Jaime hadn't brought up her children yet, or what had transpired in the Throne Room. But at the same time she needed to know that he was okay. He had killed Aerys. Killed his King.
She knew Jaime admired knights like Arthur and Barristan, wanting to be just like them. And killing the King he was sworn to serve wasn't something one would take easy. No matter how much he deserved it.
"How are you feeling?" Alyssa asked him softly, making his head snap up.
"You are asking me?" he asked in disbelief, "I should be the one asking."
"Well, you can go first, and then if I'm satisfied with your answer I will do the same," Alyssa told him, thinking it would be easier for her if he went first.
"I have no idea what to feel right now," Jaime admitted, "I — I killed my King, a King I was sworn to protect and obey-"
"You did the right thing," Alyssa assured him, placing a hand over his, "Aerys was about to burn the entire city to the ground. You saved thousands of lives."
"You are the only one who thinks so," Jaime frowned, "When I took the white cloak I swore an oath to protect the King no matter what, and I broke that oath. Everyone knows what Aerys had done, what he was capable of, but they still see me as an oathbreaker. A Kingslayer."
"I don't. And I'm sure that if we just explained what the King was about to do everyone would understand why you killed him. Ned-"
"You think the honourable Ned Stark wants to hear my side of the story. Your brother judged me the moment he stepped through those doors and laid eyes on me. By what right does the wolf judge the lion?"
"I'm sure I could talk to Ned, make him understand-"
"It's alright, Alyssa," Jaime told her with a small smile, "I don't care about what anyone else thinks about me-"
"You shouldn't be blamed for-"
"Alyssa," Jaime said firmly, clasping both of her hands in his, "I don't want you to try to fix this. It doesn't matter why I killed Aerys, the only thing people will see is that I killed him, and that's fine with me."
Alyssa nodded, not really satisfied with the fact that Jaime was okay with being painted up as a villain when he was the hero, but she would respect his wishes.
"Now, how are you?" Jaime wondered, his cat-green eyes searching her stormy grey ones that probably looked more like a dull grey cloud by now. Alyssa knew she still looked like hell. The bite marks and scratches Aerys had given her was still healing, as was her throat that had turned a green colour by now.
She also happened to know that her left eyebrow was a mess still. It was cracked in two, it hadn't needed stitches, but it would definitely scar and right now it was slightly swollen and a red-purple colour.
"I'm fi-"
"The truth," Jaime interrupted her, "You are not fine, no one could be fine after everything that has happened to you.
"But that's just it, I always feel like I need to be fine, to be strong, whenever something happens. When mother died everyone just expected me to get over it and take care of my siblings. When Rhaegar left me, and humiliated me, I had no right to argue about it, a husband always have the right to take a mistress or do whatever he wants. When my father and brother were murdered in front of my eyes I was punished whenever I defended their innocence. Now my children and my older sister is dead and I know I won't get any sympathy or condolences because in everyone's eyes they were just casualties."
Alyssa bit her lip to stop herself from crying and looked down, "There is nothing I can do to bring my babies back. I will never see them again and it's killing me. I almost wish Aerys had managed to kill me first because I don't know if I can live like this-"
"Don't say that," Jaime said firmly, "You have no idea how worried all of us was. I honestly thought your brother was going to kill when he entered the Throne Room and saw you. And when Robert arrived he visited your bedside daily to see if you had woken up. If you had died, this entire rebellion would have been for nothing. I've never thought a person could suffer so much and still survive. But you proved me wrong, you are the strongest person I've ever met, Alyssa Stark."
At those words Alyssa completely broke down. Again. And she suddenly found herself in Jaime's embrace, finding comfort in his warmth. He hugged her gently, like he thought she would break, something she found people doing all the time these days, and she actually felt safe.
During the past year she had spent with Jaime she had grown really close to the golden knight. He was there to help her with her children, he was there for her to speak with and he was there to comfort her after Aerys raped her.
Jaime had no idea to act towards a person that had just been raped and she could clearly see that he was uncomfortable with the situation, but he had helped her more than she could ever ask for.
"I'm so sorry for all of this," Jaime muttered into her hair, "I wish I could have saved them. I promised that I would keep them safe and I failed-"
"You didn't fail," Alyssa assured him, "There was nothing you could do."
I was the one who failed to protect them.
She would never be able to forgive herself for not being able to save them. Jaime had been left alone in the Red Keep, the only Kingsguard there to protect the remaining royal family, an impossible task. She on the other hand had been able to save one of her children, Rhaella and Viserys.
But not Lyrella and Daeryn.
Eventually Jaime pulled back from the embrace and she could see a rebel tear running down his cheeks. "I don't think I would have survived the past year if it wasn't for you," Alyssa whispered, wiping away his tears with her thumb, "I owe you my life, Jaime Lannister."
Jaime gave her a small smile and after a few more seconds of silence Alyssa broke it, "What's going to happen now?"
"I don't know," Jaime sighed, "Robert is the new King and I have no idea what punishment I'm going to receive. I know your brother wants me punished in some way and Ser Barristan thinks I should take the black."
"So he wants you dead? A rich and privileged southern boy won't survive a day on the wall," Alyssa said sincerely, earning an unimpressed look from the man in front of her.
"I — shut up," he said in lack of an argument, instead he seemed to realise something, "I suppose this belongs to you."
Jaime pulled a dagger from his belt and Alyssa's eyes widened when she realised it was the dagger she had used to kill Deziel. The dagger her father had gifted her before he died.
The dagger that had killed the Mad King.
.•° ✿ °•.
Ned was still gone and Alyssa still didn't leave her bedchambers, completely uninterested in what was going on outside the four walls of her room. Normally she would feel trapped, but now those walls protected her from having to face reality outside them.
Jamie's visit had given her some comfort, but nothing would be able to take away the pain she felt of losing her children. And in the moment she had no wish to meet anyone else that would either look at her with pity for losing her children, or disgust for having been married to a Targaryen.
Which was why she had refused all of Robert's requests to speak with her. It started a few days ago with a servant delivered a letter to her along with supper that Jaime had made sure she ate every day, checking with the servants to see that she hadn't left too much untouched.
At first she had been filled with some hope, thinking it might be Ned, Oberyn or even Benjen writing to her, but when she had seen the Baratheon seal her hope had been replaced by anger.
She didn't blame Robert for fighting in this war. She honestly didn't even blame him for killing her husband on the battlefield, at least she didn't think she did. But she could always hate him for seeming to think that Lyrella and Daeryn's death was necessary.
So she had crumbled the letter to a ball without even opening it and threw it into the fireplace across the room without even getting up from the bed. The letters had continued to come and all of them had met the same faith.
Until today when Robert had opted for sending a servant to tell her that he was requesting her presence. Requesting. He didn't demand anything, even though his word was law now when he was King. Alyssa had half a mind to send the servant back with a refusal, but she realised that she could no longer ignore what was going on outside the four walls she had grown comfortable in.
And too be honest, she was growing tired of her own company.
Even in self isolation, she was bored most of the time and she knew from previous experience that it wasn't good for her to be alone with her own thoughts for too long.
Therefor Alyssa spent some time that morning getting a bath and making herself look somewhat presentable. When she was done she looked herself in the mirror and had a hard time recognising the person in front of her.
She looked almost dead.
Her skin was almost as pale as snow except for the different spots that were covered in bruises that had a blue-green colour and scratch marks that still were red. But the dress she wore, a dress of black silk, had a high collar that covered most of it so the only showing injury was her left eyebrow that was slowly healing.
Her hair had grown longer, reaching past her waist and she left it down, not bothering with any braids. And in lack of the locket she had given to Viserys, who luckily still was safe on Dragonstone, the only accessory she wore was the bracelet she received from the Tyrells almost a decade ago.
With one last look in the mirror she walked out of the chambers and was surprised to come face to face with Ser Barristan which momentarily made her mute.
"Prince — Lady Alyssa," Ser Barristan bowed, "To see you alive truly brings light to these dark times," he lowered his voice slightly, "And you have my condolences on the death of Prince Rhaegar as well as your children."
"Thank you, Ser Barristan," she told him, giving him a forced smile. It was like a reflex for her to smile, even when her life was hell, but she had no idea how genuine it looked.
"King Robert sent me to escort you to him," Ser Barristan stated, and that was a sentence she never thought she would hear. Robert was a good warrior, but he had never shown any interest in anything kingly or even being a Lord.
Ser Barristan started to lead her out of her rooms and through the Red Keep. And she was stunned by the changes that had already been made. It wasn't anything big, like if the keep suddenly had been painted yellow. But everything that bore the Targaryen seal had either been destroyed, covered, taken down or replaced by stags.
When she walked she could feel several eyes on her and hear the whispered of courtiers she passed. But Alyssa kept her head held up high, ignoring all of them. She might be broken, but none of them needed to know that.
It took Alyssa some time to realise where they were going, but then it hit her. The Small Council chamber. She had only been there once before, when Aerys sent her to deal with the uprising of the commonfolk, before all hell had broken loose.
Ser Barristan opened the door and allowed her to step inside before closing it. And when she entered three pairs of eyes snapped up to look at her. Robert was accompanied by Jon Arryn and Pycelle. How wonderful.
Alyssa stepped inside but made no move to curtsy or even speak with any of the men inside. Robert seemed to realise this because he cleared his throat in an awkward manner before speaking, "Alyssa, how wonderful to-"
"Save it," Alyssa interrupted him, "You wished to speak with me and I doubt it's because you wanted to tell me how wonderful it is to see me alive. Now get straight to the point because I have no wish to be in the presence of either one of you longer than I have to."
"As you know your husband, Prince Rhaegar, was killed during the Battle of the Trident-" Jon Arryn started.
"Oh, really?" Alyssa said sarcastically, "I wonder why no one thought to mention that to me." She didn't have anything left to loose now and sense she refused to cry in front of these people, being angry was the best way to handle it.
"What the Lord Hand was about to say," Pycelle rasped out and her glare intensified, "You may be a widow, but a woman of your station and age cannot stay unwed even if you are no longer a maiden."
"Excuse you," Alyssa exclaimed angrily, "Of course I can stay unwed-"
"Alyssa, you were wed to the heir of the Iron Throne, your children-"
"The children who were slaughtered in their beds without any of you blinking?" Alyssa interrupted Robert who flinched a little at her tone, "I haven't even been a widow for two moons yet and you are already planning to find me a new husband? You have no right, you are not my father or my family, you can't force me into anything."
"There is a few eligible men you can chose from," Jon Arryn stated, "Men that are loyal to the crown so no one can question your loyalty to the crown-"
"I couldn't care less about other people doubting my loyalty to the crown," Alyssa snapped at the man and then a thought hit her, "Not to mention that I am barren. Pycelle himself diagnosed me, claiming that I cannot have more children so no man will have any use for my broken womb."
"Actually," Pycelle said, "As I told Prince Rhaegar, after you had given birth to Prince Daeryn it was unlikely that you would be able to bare more children. But recent examinations that were made when you were — unconscious, states differently."
"So you are admitting that you are a completely useless fool?" Alyssa asked between gritted teeth. This man was practically admitting that she had diagnosed her as barren when she wasn't. "Had you not been so pathetic, I wouldn't have hesitated to kill you-"
"Lady Alyssa!" Lord Arryn exclaimed, looking appalled by her words but she didn't care.
"Robert, you wished to speak with me, then do just that instead of hiding behind old men," Alyssa told the new King who looked like he was pondering something for a few seconds.
"Everyone out," Robert said, his jaw set and his blue eyes staring at Alyssa.
"Your Grace-"
"I said, get out," Robert said and like the little rat he was Pycelle scattered away while Jon calmly made his way out sending an almost worried glance between the pair. And when the door closed Robert sucked in a breath, "Please, sit down."
Alyssa made no move to sit down, so Robert didn't either. They just stood there on one side each of the table, "What are my options?" Alyssa finally asked, "and if the name Walder Frey even crosses your mind I will slit your throat in your sleep."
"No, Walder Frey is definitely one of your options," Robert said with something that looked almost like a smile.
"Good. For I suspect he will be looking for a new wife soon. It's been what? One year since he got married the last time," Alyssa said monotonously.
"We — I have a few suggestions," Robert said, "When Ned returns with Lyanna, I shall honour the betrothal that was set between your father and I. That will join House Baratheon and House Stark in marriage. As you may now, Ned has already married Catelyn Tully and Lysa was wed to Jon-"
"Get to the point," Alyssa told him.
"Jon suggested that you wed someone loyal to one of the leading Houses in the rebellion. Hoster Tully-"
"Is almost as old as my father was and a father of three children, one of them whom I am very close to. Forget it," Alyssa said.
"If you do not wish to wed Lord Tully, his younger brother Ser Brynden-"
"Has never wished to wed before, won't wish to wed now and also old enough to be my father. Next," Alyssa said, knowing that she might sound petty sense many women were forced to wed men more than twice their age. But she had suffered enough to be allowed to chose her own husband.
"My brother Stannis-"
"Next."
Robert looked at her in exasperation and sighed like his next words would be hard to say, "In order to build up the Realm again I will need to borrow money-"
"If you even suggest Tywin Lannister I'm-"
"Going to slit my throat when I'm sleeping," Robert finished her threat, "I'm not suggesting you wed Tywin Lannister. However, his son-"
"Isn't Lord Tyrion a child of ten?" Alyssa asked.
"I'm not talking about Tyrion Lannister," Robert said, "As a thanks to Lord Tywin-"
"For killing my children? He is getting rewarded for butchering two innocent children and murdering the Princess of Dorne now?"
"He is being thanked for assisting me in taking the city and seizing the Throne. Tywin Lannister had nothing to do with the your children-"
"Ser Gregor Clegane and Amory Lorch, those are the two men who killed my— my children-"
"But not on Lord Tywin's orders-"
"Then neither you nor Lord Tywin will have any problem with executing both of them."
"I cannot execute two men for how they acted during a war. With that logic I would have been forced to execute half the men that partook in the sack of the city-"
"Then do that," Alyssa slammed her hands against the table, "Perhaps it's time for you men to realise that murdering children and raping women isn't something that should go unpunished."
Robert took a deep breath like he was trying not to snap at her, "As I was saying earlier. As a trade with Lord Tywin I will release Jaime from the Kingsguard so you can wed him."
Alyssa was too stunned to speak for a few seconds until she regained herself, "You can't just release him from his vows like that-"
"Actually, I can," Robert said firmly, "Jaime Lannister killed a king he was sworn to protect and releasing him from his vows is the best way to please as many people as possible."
"Except for Jaime," Alyssa muttered, knowing that he wouldn't be too pleased by this. Then something clicked in her head, "That's why you were so eager to speak with me while Ned is still away. You know that he wouldn't have allowed this little betrothal of yours. You are going behind your best friend's back to sell his sister to the family who murdered her children. Do you think that will make him forgive you?"
"Don't go there-"
"Why do I have to wed? I have already been used and thrown away, no man will want me. And I doubt Lord Tywin wishes for me to marry his beloved son after I've been defiled."
"Actually, Lord Tywin has agreed with the match-"
"What about Jaime? Has he agreed?" Alyssa countered. In reality, of all the men in Westeros, she would gladly wed Jaime. She'd rather not marry anyone, but Jaime was her friend, she trusted him. Yet, she didn't want to force him into anything, she knew what that felt like, and she knew he joined the Kingsguard because he didn't want to get married.
"He doesn't know-"
"Then tell him," Alyssa said, "Tell Jaime and if he agrees we will open up the marriage negotiations."
"Negotiations?"
"I have a few terms that needs to be fulfilled if you wish for me to get married."
"Alyssa, if Lord Tywin and I deem it fit for you to marry-"
"It will have no effect unless I agree to it," Alyssa said, placing both hands on the table, leaning against it, "You see, Robert, I am Alyssa Stark. Every man and woman in the Kingdom who sees you as an usurper, would gladly stand behind me. I have an ally with the Tyrells and if I remember correctly the only battle you lost was against their bannermen's armies. I also have an ally with the Martells who believe me, wouldn't hesitate to kill you for what happened to Elia. And if Ned had to choose between you and me, who do you think he will choose? I won't have to do anything, unless I want you and if you even lay a hand on me, you will lose a man you love like a brother and it will start another war. One you may not win."
Robert looked like he was about to boil over but Alyssa just continued, "I have lost close to everything. I hope it was all worth it."
Alyssa turned around and walked towards the door when Robert called out her name. When she looked at him he no longer looked angry.
"For all it's worth, I never meant for you to suffer."